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271 pages, Audiobook
First published May 6, 2012
Girls are different from dogs. Dogs don't expect you to constantly talk to them, yet girls do. If you pet a dog, they're as happy has can be. If you pet a girl before asking them, they get mad and slap you.

I need a girl. Someone soft to touch and someone who smells nice and someone who can stand to be around me. Samantha does seem to tolerate me. I know this because we did text each other when she was in Spain.
I should try asking Samantha out. Yet I need to confirm something first.
"Did you see your boyfriend?"
Samantha laughs. "Yeah, bugs and Daddy were happy to see me!"
What a complete disaster! Samantha had not one, but two boyfriends. How on earth can I compete with two boyfriends? I can barely compete with non existent boyfriends. Cupid seems to love kicking me in the face.
I watch her soft right hand forming letters in a round, cursive-like pattern that's beautiful and so feminine. Her words build sentences. Her sentences build paragraphs. Her paragraohs build pages.
"You look nice tonight, but you always look nice," Manny says.
" I wish I felt nice, but I feel more slutty," I say.
"Oh you don't like wearing dresses?"
"I have a girlie side, but this doesn't feel like a dress, it feels like I'm wearing only my underwear."
"It looks great to me," Manny says.
Eww. Is he undressing me? I thought he was my friend, not another perv.
Manny's cheeks turn red and he frowns, almost like he heard my thoughts, or maybe it's because I'm glaring at him.
"Ah - what I mean to say is, your body gives me no pleasure whatsoever," he says.
Huh? Is Manny saying I have a terrible body? That even in this sexy dress I look like a forest troll?
Manny cools down. "You didn't piss me off. I'm frustrated."
"With me?"
"No. Girls in general."
"If it's any comfort, I don't understand guys either."
"We do come in different models."
"I know. You're definitely the nice-guy model," I say.
"Girls don't want that model. They want the stronct athletic models."
"That's not true."
"It's true where I come from."
I'm lying across a race car in my undies like some slut.
Manny stands there, draws in a deep breath, and his sweet voice begins the most beautiful solo of Silent Night that I've ever heard.
Each note is on point and never flat.
His voice is smooth and not rushed.
It's quite comforting in a way. Like a blanket of fuzzy warm sound that hugs your body. His voice sounds amazing inside this little room. The boy can really sing.