4.75 Stars but I rounded up to 5 because this book/author seriously deserves it!
This book is absolutely amazing. Though before getting into my review, I think this book is more of a Dark Romantic Tragedy with heavy mental health elements and a lot of mystery!
Some things about this book and Trigger Warnings:
Mystery, Romance, Symbolism, Mental health, SA, a little stalking, Domestic Violence, Substance Abuse, Suicide, Emotional Abuse, Coercion, Depression, Manslaughter, Panic Disorder
This story is following Delilah in present day (she is in her 30s) as well as flash backs to 2009 where she is about 17 or so years old.
In present day, she is a rich housewife in GA with a husband that is never home and ignores her, drinks her pain away, cheats on her husband just to feel something, and goes to therapy where she fights with everything she has not to talk about her past. Anytime she thinks, or is asked about her past, she is completely triggered and can barely function through her determination to forget and drink the memories away. Her therapist is amazing and you can tell how much she truly cares for Delilah and can see through her bs but doesn't push her. She is probably the only person in the world Delilah truly trusts.
In 2009, you follow her through her childhood trauma. The ex-Miss Georgia mother who is so miserable that she drinks her pain away. The successful and rich father that only cares about himself, his reputation, and money. The abuse between her parents that trickles down to the kids. How she never felt like she could speak without saying the wrong thing. The abusive childhood crush that is clearly a narcissist and manipulates her from the very beginning. Then she meets Sam. Sam, the sweet, poor immigrant who lost his twin sister to suicide. He was the first and only person other than her therapist (in present day) that understood and seen her and truly cared for her as herself and not her "mask" to the world.
From the beginning you know something really bad happened in her past that she is repressing and I literally could not put this book down until I found out what that was and oh my did it shock the hell outta me. This mystery was KILLING me and I had to know. This book is heavy on mental health. What the impact is of what I would call 'mental warfare' and how to heal from it. How you need meaning in your life to feel alive. How to overcome the terrible things people have done to you and KNOW you did not deserve it and stand up for yourself and those who were also hurt.
The ONLY reason I did not rate this a full 5 is because I am wanting a tiny bit more on what happened after. Like a bonus epilogue or something.
This book really reminds me of the Torment Duet in a way by Dylan Page. I went through the ringer with Delilah... you could really see and feel her struggle and feel devastated for her through out her trauma and all the shocking twists and turns she was forced to endure.. You will probably get mad at her at some parts... I did... but then I remember what she went through which shaped her actions and mindset.
Please read this book! It was absolutely amazing, beautiful, captivating, devastating, emotional, shocking, and healing. I read this in less than a day because once I picked it up, I was done for, it had its hooks in deep!