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The Pastor's Kid: What It's Like and How to Help
Advice on how to care for pastors’ kids and allow them to find their own faith and identity.
Pastors’ kids are often burdened by others’ expectations, but there is a wonderful solution, both at home and in the grace.
In this revised, refreshed version of Barnabas Piper’s best-known book, the author candidly shares his own experiences as son of pastor and best-selling author John Piper, offering a challenge to our churches and to the families at their very how to care for pastors’ kids and allow them to find their own faith and identity.
Foreword by John Piper.
Pastors’ kids are often burdened by others’ expectations, but there is a wonderful solution, both at home and in the grace.
In this revised, refreshed version of Barnabas Piper’s best-known book, the author candidly shares his own experiences as son of pastor and best-selling author John Piper, offering a challenge to our churches and to the families at their very how to care for pastors’ kids and allow them to find their own faith and identity.
Foreword by John Piper.
Audible Audio
First published September 23, 2020
3 people are currently reading
3 people want to read
About the author
Barnabas Piper
12 books1,167 followersBarnabas Piper is a pastor, author, podcaster, and speaker who lives near Nashville, Tennessee with his family. He writes regularly for He Reads Truth and blogs at BarnabasPiper.com. He has authored several books and Bible studies and also co-hosts The Happy Rant podcast, a popular show discussing issues of faith and culture in a light-hearted, humorous manner.
Barnabas's work can be found in many publications and websites. He can be heard regularly as a guest on various podcasts and speaks at churches, camps, and conferences nationwide.
Barnabas's work can be found in many publications and websites. He can be heard regularly as a guest on various podcasts and speaks at churches, camps, and conferences nationwide.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
November 24, 2025
This book was super helpful, and helped me put on the lenses of my child and future children, and others that are pastors kids.
It helped me realize things that PK’s go through and endure through vocational ministry.
Chapter 4-6 I underlined and made notes about the most, and I felt were the most helpful when it’s talking about parenting vs. preaching in your household. Kids need parents to be present.
This was really helpful, I do think the wording of PK or Pastor’s Kid was overused. The Title of the Book is The Pastor’s Kid, so I obviously know that’s what the book is about. Once I got past that, the book was really good!!
It helped me realize things that PK’s go through and endure through vocational ministry.
Chapter 4-6 I underlined and made notes about the most, and I felt were the most helpful when it’s talking about parenting vs. preaching in your household. Kids need parents to be present.
This was really helpful, I do think the wording of PK or Pastor’s Kid was overused. The Title of the Book is The Pastor’s Kid, so I obviously know that’s what the book is about. Once I got past that, the book was really good!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 17, 2026
“Families were sacrificed on the altar of ministry, and the pressures of life burned both to the ground.” -Matthew Weathers, PK
Not many people know or noticed this, but most years, I didn’t get to celebrate my birthday ON my birthday even as a kid. Our church would have a fall celebration called the “Hog Roast” on about the first or second Sunday of October every year. I loved the celebration, but the best time to celebrate a birthday in our family was on the weekend, so naturally, every year was a conversation about when exactly we would celebrate my birthday. The two events had to be deconflicted. Want to guess which one had to be moved? I didn’t mind a year here or there, but every year compounded. Over time, a kid gets the idea: you aren’t a priority. The ministry, however, is, and we all have to make sacrifices. This may seem like a trite example, and I could certainly give more soul-crushing samples of bad experiences as a PK, but I hope this glimpse gives YOU an idea of the sacrifices a CHILD has to learn how to make for no other reason than that their dad has a job that requires it.
If you are a congregant to a church, please read this book. You need to see and understand how your demands on and expectations of your pastor trickle down to his children. It creates unrealistic expectations of his children that are extremely damaging.
Thanks to @TammySharp for suggesting this book. Like “I Have to be Perfect” by Timothy Sanford, I cried for a good 20 minutes in the first few pages. John Piper wrote the forward briefly describing how difficult it was for him to read, but it was good. The whole book was a fair introduction to the struggles of a PK, but for a more therapeutic analysis, I would say Timothy Sanford’s book was a bit more poignant. This book is more to help pastors and congregations understand the damage they are doing.
B. Piper has an appendix of things to avoid when interacting with a PK, but his smelled deeply of a celebrity life. My experiences were different, so my applications go in a different direction. (See Facebook)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Not many people know or noticed this, but most years, I didn’t get to celebrate my birthday ON my birthday even as a kid. Our church would have a fall celebration called the “Hog Roast” on about the first or second Sunday of October every year. I loved the celebration, but the best time to celebrate a birthday in our family was on the weekend, so naturally, every year was a conversation about when exactly we would celebrate my birthday. The two events had to be deconflicted. Want to guess which one had to be moved? I didn’t mind a year here or there, but every year compounded. Over time, a kid gets the idea: you aren’t a priority. The ministry, however, is, and we all have to make sacrifices. This may seem like a trite example, and I could certainly give more soul-crushing samples of bad experiences as a PK, but I hope this glimpse gives YOU an idea of the sacrifices a CHILD has to learn how to make for no other reason than that their dad has a job that requires it.
If you are a congregant to a church, please read this book. You need to see and understand how your demands on and expectations of your pastor trickle down to his children. It creates unrealistic expectations of his children that are extremely damaging.
Thanks to @TammySharp for suggesting this book. Like “I Have to be Perfect” by Timothy Sanford, I cried for a good 20 minutes in the first few pages. John Piper wrote the forward briefly describing how difficult it was for him to read, but it was good. The whole book was a fair introduction to the struggles of a PK, but for a more therapeutic analysis, I would say Timothy Sanford’s book was a bit more poignant. This book is more to help pastors and congregations understand the damage they are doing.
B. Piper has an appendix of things to avoid when interacting with a PK, but his smelled deeply of a celebrity life. My experiences were different, so my applications go in a different direction. (See Facebook)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
August 14, 2025
I wish I would’ve read this book 10 years ago, very thankful for the Lords work in my life in the past ten years though and then to read this and make since of some of the work that has taken place in the past 10 years. Anyone who is family with or has a relationship with a PK read the book!!
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews