3.6/5 - Born in London to a Pepsi executive dad and vodka-swilling mom, it’s no wonder Steve-O is such an attention wh0re. As likable as he is, he sure didn’t start that way: getting his ancient grandma to buy him frivolous electronics and racking up DUIs. There’s too much about his family yet so many suicidal addicts explain his penchant for reckless escapism. His dad (who looks kinda like Newt Gingrich) was always at business meetings but when he’d come home, he didn’t mind doing party tricks with matches or lighter fluid. Meanwhile, his mom was wrecked on booze to the point she faked cancer a whole year to write off her perpetual hangovers! She even filmed yet made fun of plenty of his dangerous stunts, so in no way is a traditional mother though he loves her nonetheless.
By middle school, his dad was very rich as Nabisco Europe’s president. The company paid for them to always ride in limos and go on work-vacations places as wild as Kenya, where they saw the richest and poorest sides of life. Affluence always embarrassed Steve because he didn’t feel he deserved it, especially when all his friends were still impoverished. So maybe that played a part in his bloody stunts like BB-shooting off his nipple, lighting himself on fire, and constantly diving off of tall roofs into shallow pools. The ultimate self-effacement. Which, BTW, he was a legit clown with puffy orange hair who went to college for it. It’s not a euphemism to say Steve can be smart in unconventional ways, because when he was a tween and knew Motley Crue was performing the next night, he phoned every local hotel, asking for their manager’s name he looked up inside the album cover. Turns out they were booked under his name, and when they heard of Steve’s squeaky dedication, got him VIP tickets. He was also very measured, methodical, and straight edge when learning to skateboard to ollie over higher obstacles. With just a camcorder and a couple VHSs, he got really into editing his trick and wipeout footage, inspiring non-sport stunt-videos years later.
This autobio sure doesn’t paint Steve well, admitting he intentionally set out to become a full blown loaded pothead in psych gear by 11th grade just to have a new identity. In just two months, he stops caring for the lonely 95y/o man he volunteered to run errands for, breaks his front teeth in half biking blackout, and neglects his hamster to the point it dehydrates to death. And that’s only the beginning. His first day at the University of Miami, Hurricane Andrew hits. Of course, he avoids the evacuation to party and swim the lake and pass out through the category five winds that caused tens of millions in campus damage. His GF can’t stand his hard partying ways after he pees in her bed one too many times. Instead of getting the hint, he buckles down on doing parkour to impress every girl he meets.
Rather than admit to his parents about getting kicked out of Uni, he carts around the country half-homeless, making money through dangerous medical testing and getting immediately robbed of the thousands through ironically naive decisions. In a way, Steve seems God’s luckiest child with how many times he falls stories face-first into concrete, unconscious for long bouts and always knocking out teeth. When he moves in with his sister, he takes college seriously to study video editing and gymnastics. Trying to be a pro skater with bigger sponsorships, he starts literally playing with fire: doing flips with his hands and head in flames, briefly protected by rubbing alcohol. Of course things go awry and he winds up scraping half his melted pus face off pillows each morning until the skin regrows! Almost unbelievable as that is how often he gets random chicks to drive him states away (sure, he’s cute and peppy but that’s the off chance when half his face isn’t a blistered gash).
The tragedy that befalls his family is twice as gruesome. It’s more haunting than when he learns to chew glass for crowds on a cruise ship, staple his arms, and mutilate his tongue. This is around the same time he pesters his way into magazines and bar shows then, semi-quickly, the MTV show inspired by Big Brother Mag (like way edgier, skate-centric Mad Magazine). This book is worth a read, or rather a listen because the writing style is as simplistic as “rad” Steve-O speaks. It’s not quite a 4-star read because some huge things are barely addressed like the half-sentence mention of doing lots of meth.
Some other interesting tidbits: When Jackass is an immediate hit, Steve-O is still homeless. Not at all because of money, but because he’s so irresponsible, he funnels all time into partying, so booking a hotel or finding an apartment wouldn’t be as fun as bumming off of hookups. He briefly befriends Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, makes an unreleased comedy rap album and admits to starting rumors Kat Von D is antisemitic just because he didn’t like her trying to sober him up even though he was hearing voices from the thousands of nitrous chargers. Whenever he does decide to ditch the PCP or coke, it’s usually for a girl and can last a year but ramps back up once they split. The last bit of the book is about sobering up for good, a relentlessly cliche topic, but Steve-O’s specialty is “not wasting everybody’s time.”