Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make

by Paul David Tripp, Bevan Greiner (Narrator)

Updated with Discussion Questions and Two Bonus Chapters

When you say “I do,” you begin the journey of a lifetime― and you have dreams of that journey being perfect. But it won’t take long for expectations of the perfect marriage to fade away in the struggles of everyday life. A long-term, vibrant marriage needs to be grounded in something sturdier than romance―it needs the life-changing power of the gospel.

In this rebranded edition of What Did You Expect?, popular author and pastor Paul David Tripp encourages couples to make six biblical commitments to the Lord and to one another. These commitments, which include a lifestyle of confession and forgiveness, building trust, and appreciating differences, will equip couples to cultivate thriving, joy-filled marriages built on Christ.

Genres: Christian, Marriage, Theology, Nonfiction

Audible Audio

Published October 17, 2024

About the author

Paul was born in Toledo, Ohio to Bob and Fae Tripp on November 12, 1950. Paul spent all of his growing years in Toledo until his college years when his parents moved to Southern California.
At Columbia Bible College from 1968-1972, (now Columbia International University) Paul majored in Bible and Christian Education. Although he had planned to be there for only two years and then to study journalism, Paul more and more felt like there was so much of the theology of Scripture that he did not understand, so he decided to go to seminary. Paul met Luella Jackson at College and they married in 1971. In 1971, Paul took his first pastoral position and has had a heart for the local church ever since. After college, Paul completed his Master of Divinity degree at the Reformed Episcopal Seminary (now known as Philadelphia Theological Seminary) in Philadelphia (1972-1975). It was during these days that Paul’s commitment to ministry solidified. After seminary, Paul was involved in planting a church in Scranton, Pennsylvania (1977-1987) where he also founded a Christian School. During the years in Scranton, Paul became involved in music, traveling with a band and writing worship songs. In Scranton, Paul became interested in biblical counseling and decided to enroll in the D.Min program in Biblical Counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul then became a faculty member of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation (CCEF) and a lecturer in biblical counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul has also served as Visiting Professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.
In 2009, Paul joined the faculty of Redeemer Seminary (daughter school of Westminster) in Dallas, Texas as Professor of Pastoral Life and Care.[1]
Beginning in June, 2006, Paul became the President of Paul Tripp Ministries, a non-profit organization, whose mission statement is "Connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life." In addition to his current role as President of Paul Tripp Ministries, on January 1, 2007, Paul also became part of the pastoral staff at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, PA where he preached every Sunday evening and lead the Ministry to Center City through March, 2011 when he resigned due to the expanding time commitments needed at Paul Tripp Ministries.
Paul, Luella, and their four children moved to Philadelphia in 1987 and have lived there ever since. Paul is a prolific author and has written twelve books on Christian living which are sold internationally. Luella manages a large commercial art gallery in the city and Paul is very dedicated to painting as an avocation.[2] Paul’s driving passion is to help people understand how the gospel of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ really does speak with practical hope into all the things they will face in this broken world. Paul is a pastor with a pastor’s heart, a gifted speaker, his journey taking him all over the world, an author of numerous books on practical Christian living, and a man who is hopelessly in love with Luella.

Reviews

[Johnnie Each · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was definitely not the target audience of this book lol - picked it up because Mom said there was a section on green/red flags on dating. Lo and behold, there indeed was not although I read the whole thing looking for it (maybe it's in the Keller one?) - I bet this book is really great for married couples haha, but a lot of it went over my head - but the chapter on what love is was super duper interesting and convicting

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very mixed feelings about this book. The advice and content was super good and convicting. But the tone of the book and its stories were So. Overwhelmingly. Depressing. I consistently kept having to stop and ask “can anyone ever actually have a good marriage?”. I get that he is a marriage counselor and probably sees a lot of the worst stories and aspects, and is really trying to warn and convict people w this book. But golly, would never recommend this to someone who’s hesitant about marriage if I’m being honest.

Best quote though: “The fundamental problem of every marriage is misplaced worship. The war for marriage is a war for right worship. The soil of a good marriage is not romance, but right worship. Romance is the good fruit that is reaped from a marriage sown in right worship.”

So recommend honestly for the content but the tone was not for the faint of heart.

[Evan · Rating 5 out of 5]

its real good

[bridgettenocito · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this for premarital & loved it!! 4.5 such a grace filled depiction of marriage and how to have a Gospel centered relationship!!

[Marinda Wise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on marriage!
Very theological, and deals with the root of the issue more than the symptoms.
A Favorite!

[Hillary Baden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have yet to be disappointed by anything I've read by Paul David Tripp and this continues to be true after reading "Marriage".

This is one of the best marriage books I have read and I highly recommend it to any couple, married or soon to be married. It is filled with practical, Biblically sound advice, and contains many of the author's personal stories and experiences.

The 6 areas of commitment Tripp bases the book on are very simple, yet often overlooked or ignored due to our sinful nature. We would all have a lot healthier marriages if we chose to focus on these 6 commitments.

Though I can't say the principles are revolutionary, it was good to be reminded of how much of marriage relies on a focus on where our own hearts are, instead of fixating on where our spouse needs to improve. It seems to be our default to believe that when our spouse changes, then our marriage would be a lot better, but in reality, if we were to examine our own hearts and recognize that we too are sinful, we'd be a lot better off! Getting lazy in our marriage is all too easy and I appreciated the reminder of the importance of putting in the effort to build and maintain a healthy marriage by keeping these commitments at the forefront of our minds, along with making the daily choice to look to Christ for help.

Tripp's commitments are:
-a regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness
-making growth and change our daily agenda
-working together to build a sturdy bond of trust
-building a relationship of love
-dealing with differences with appreciation and grace
-working to protect our marriage

In Tripp's words, *this book is about six marriage commitments that result from looking at marriage through the lens of the gospel of Jesus Christ."

*I received a free digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review

[Christina Brandsma · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were great truths for a Christian-centered marriage, but the book felt disorganized and repetitive. It also felt a little too theoretical and less tangible than it could have been.

I’m never disappointed with Paul David Tripp’s theology and perspective. This was no exception. Solid for sure. The composition of the book just wasn’t great.

If you’re only going to read one book like this, I’d pick Tim Keller’s marriage book. If you’re going to read a handful in this category, this one is totally worth it.

[Nate Cure · Rating 4 out of 5]

The content is great. Tripp is excellent at what he does, and I would highly recommend this book for married couples (it wouldn't be my go to for pre-marital counseling).

4/5 because A) much of the content comes from sermons and talks, and the transfer over to the page isn't always easy to read and follow and B) the book is very repetitive, with chapters overlapping significantly, which is ideal for preaching, but makes reading feel redundant.

[Scott Wise · Rating 5 out of 5]

The BEST marriage book I have read. I appreciate the focus on who we are as individual humans and being a ware of the inherent strengths and weaknesses that creates in all relationships that will be magnified in marriage. It produces humility and grace, which I feel like are the true building blocks of a strong Godly relationship

[Patrick Raw · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paul writes in a really engaging manner and I loved his use of practical examples throughout the book. It consistently challenged me to think Christ centred and know we are all sinners who need daily repentance and grace.

[Katie Fuson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this with our group and we loved it! Such great principles to add into marriage and create a stronger marriage! He brings up some really great points I’ve never heard before. Strong Christan tools to bring into marriage! Loved.

[Lauren Porter · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bit repetitive but such a healthy and insightful view of biblical marriage and how to improve the relationship.

[Shelby Stowe · Rating 3 out of 5]

S&P Book Club: Book #2 We enjoyed reading this book, but also found it repetitive and not clearly written at times. A lot of truth and wisdom, but could be communicated more succinctly.

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

[Josh Rathmell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel like this book could have been about any relationship at its core. The information was good! The best part about this book was the fact that it did put marriage in light of the Gospel and I appreciate Trips simplicity in that truth!