Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women's Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours

by Corinne Low

You’re not imagining Women aren’t getting a good deal at home or at work. We have the evidence to prove it. This book gives you the power to change it.

For women in America today, the promise of “having it all” is an ever-elusive carrot; the reality is that while we are doing it all, we face unsustainable demands on our time and efforts, in every sphere. The data shows that biologically, culturally, economically, we are on an uneven playing ground, and one that drains us of our happiness. But that same data can empower us to make choices that will reclaim our time, our energy—and even our joy.

In Having It All, Wharton professor and economist Dr. Corinne Low unpacks the hidden factors that influence women’s decision-making, and how these choices can alter the course of our lives. From whether to obtain an advanced degree to what type of career to pursue, when or whether to get married and/or have children, or even where to live—Dr. Low explores essential questions such

- What if flexible working isn't the answer, and we actually need more boundaries?

- What if there is no optimal time to “have a family” but rather a slew of different considerations at different life stages?

-What if we approached decisions around marriage and partnership as rigorously as we would an employment opportunity?

For too long, women have been expected to accept labor-intensive solutions to systemic problems–optimize, lean in, work harder. But Dr. Low isn’t suggesting women need to do more. In the tradition of bestselling books like Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play and Emily Oster’s Cribsheet, Having It All blends personal experience, research, and analysis to help shed light on the constraints women face, and offer an evidence-based framework for getting a better deal. Consider it the essential economics textbook for life as a woman—but hopefully, a little more fun.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Self Help, Economics, Audiobook, Sociology, Womens

Audible Audio

Published September 23, 2025

Reviews

[Emily Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars rounded up
Not every chapter will be directly relatable to every person who reads this book, but every person who reads this book will find something of value in at least one of the chapters. Whether it’s new information or statistics that were previously unknown to the reader or a new frame by which to perceive and think about known experiences, Dr. Low presents the barriers women face to “having it all” in a way that is fresh and validating to the lived experiences of women navigating life in a patriarchal society. While many of the suggestions provided to help women make the most of an inequitable situation will come off as idealistic and inaccessible to those in lower income brackets (a point Dr. Low readily acknowledges), there is still practical advice to be applied for everyone, even if it is only to think differently about one’s situation to alleviate psychological burden.

As we enter a new wave of feminism focused around de-centering men and reevaluating what’s best for women and society as a whole, this book is a must-read for women of all ages and relationship statuses. Gone are the days of entering and staying in heteronormative marital/parental arrangements for the sake of tradition without regard for the real-life implications for each person in that arrangement and the quality of the deal they have “accepted.” It’s time to start thinking practically about the way we live our lives and why, not just for women but for men too.
There is a tendency for some opponents of feminism to incorrectly assume the feminist revolution will be to the detriment of men; this book is one of a steadily-growing number to prove empirically that creating better conditions and opportunities for women will be to the benefit of everyone, not to the detriment of anyone.

Thank you to Dr. Corinne Low and Flatiron Books for the advanced copy of “Having It All” - I will be recommending this to every woman I know and every man with a desire to understand the world they live in more genuinely.

[Patty · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I liked the economic terms in this book and some of the ideas presented for me, I felt even though I am a woman myself that it simply wasn't for me (i.e. I wasn't the target audience).
Not because it is US centric (which I expected) but because it was promised to be aimed at childfree women as well, this wasn't the case at all. There wasn't even a passage targeted specifically at women who don't want children and how they should behave and manage their utility while there was a whole chapter on children/moms (there was even an anecdote about a woman who changed her mind about children that I felt was unnecessary and just fuels the "you'll change your mind" talks) and every other page was about marriage and children. While I know this is very important to most, there are a few of us that are not into traditional relationships and children, which would have been nice see acknowledged, and at least mentioned in some detail.
Also, considering the current climate, I disliked the ideas in the end that falling childbirth rates are to be feared because then the economic system would fail since this is the (supposed, of course it's not the real one) reason for the decline in women and reproductive rights now. Maybe the system needs to be changed and not women to be "motivated" to have as many children as possible. I feel the author could have spent at least a portion of the time spent on IVF and pro-birth policies on the decline of mental health that the "non-traditional" women like me experience due to the increasing lack of choice around the world.

[Violet · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit unstructured at times but really interesting and engaging, a lot about the economics of being a woman and how gender impacts on earnings and financial stability. Lots of data and personal experience from the author. I enjoyed it.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book wasn’t super relatable to me personally, because I feel as though I’m already not following social norms, but a few of the chapters were helpful in finding new perspectives. I appreciated the good ideas on how to improve our future as a society.

[Kim Hooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING book. All women should read. Well-researched and very accessible. I felt empowered when I finished.

[Todd Kashdan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the past decade, only one other book has led to the kind of perspective shift inspired by this one (Invisible Women). The title misrepresents the profound nature of this book - lots of persuasive data, a wonderful set of advice and exercises, a call to arms with a list of solutions for improving lives, organizations, and public policy, and a touching autobiography.

There is no one genre this books falls into. It is simply a powerful book that women and men should read. I could have been a better father in the first few years of my daughters' being born had I read this then...

Thanks for the inspiration to be better.

[Eleanor S · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a thought provoking and helpful book that I think is advertised to the wrong audience. It’s ostensibly geared for women in their 30s who are “in the thick of it” between juggling work, children, marriage, and aging parents, but I think this book would really benefit younger women who are yet to be tied down to a career and a partner.

Dr. Low makes excellent points about the impact of partner selection on a woman’s finances, but it is much easier (and probably less emotionally distressing) to go into dating with a mindful approach and armed with data, than it is to divorce a partner when you’re married with children.

Some of the other points she makes, like not self selecting out of a career due to perceived lack of excellence, are things that I would have loved to hear as a woman in college trying to decide what to pursue. I’d especially recommend this book to women in their late teens and early twenties!

[Sasha Rezvina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, no qualifiers.

The writer, a Wharton economist, draws from her own experience in choosing a partner, choosing parenthood, choosing divorce and choosing her high pressure career—while at the same time sharing her research in the societal constraints on women, observed differences in women’s behaviour, and inherited expectations from previous generations. The book includes enlightening studies about how women negotiate, navigate risk, love, fight and compromise and helps you l how to use your womanhood as a superpower at home and at work. The author also teaches economist vocabulary so you have a better conceptualisation of your value of time and money so you can get the largest ROI according to your own principles.

This book is the most clear-eyed summary of how to make big decisions (marriage? Kids? Career?)—within your very real and very hard constraints—and steer your life toward whatever version of fulfilment suits you. I would recommend to all of dragon 🐉

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

If this topic is up your alley, I’d really recommend the book. Her perspective is smart and a little different than I expected — more focused on holistic life happiness and more immediately practical than other work I’ve read on contemporary gender inequality. Motivating as a late-20’s read, but I imagine returning to it in a later phase, too.

[Stephanie Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed Dr. Low’s perspective on getting the most out of a career and lifestyle as a working woman. She uses data and real life examples to explain her concepts. I enjoyed her writing style- would recommend!

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh my gosh I’m so glad I’m finally done with this. It was so bad, just a complete feminist rant for 9 hours. I kept hoping for actual practical advice, but 90% of this was hating on men and saying how women have it so rough. I can’t believe that this woman actually suggested divorce on multiple occasions! What an extreme answer to a problem! I was on the verge of giving this 1 star but there were a few (very few albeit) interesting nuggets of information. A huge disappointment for sure, as I was hoping for some actual practical advice… not just to get a divorce.

[heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for young women in their teens and 20s. If more women had access to the knowledge in this book, before making major life decisions related to family and career, there would be far less suffering and regret. I love how the author uses hard data to show just how important it is for women to be the architects of their own lives, with full awareness of the forces we're up against. I so appreciate her realism — love (for a partner or job) is never enough, and we must avoid the tempting trap of earning our bread and baking it too. I am grateful this book exists, and will be passing it around to my girlfriends with religious zeal.

[Emily Feldman · Rating 5 out of 5]

definitely one of the best books i’ve read this year!! it’s so thoughtful and informed. i loved the integration of her (queer, woc) experiences with research she’s actually completed!! i learned so much

[Max · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am obsessed with this book and want all of my friends to read it. Manages to be both a data driven look at reality (depressing) and yet full of optimism of how to take control of your life as well as how society should change. This was so well written it felt like talking to a very smart educated friend.

[Katie Petri · Rating 2 out of 5]

Perhaps this book might be useful for those who are in a major life transition (considering marriage or trying to get out of a marriage, considering having kids), but I found the book focused too much on that rather than providing useful advice for those who are in a settled life stage and still trying to make the most of it (and/or for those who are in a healthy and fairly balanced relationship). There were some helpful tidbits here and there but I found that there were too many of the author’s personal life experiences that were used as proof points to support their case (which, frankly, were irrelevant to me).

[MEL Oh My That’s a lot of Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Having It All, economist Corinne Low delivers a sharp, insightful, and empowering examination of modern womanhood through the lens of data. Rather than relying on anecdotes or self-help clichés, Low turns to rigorous economic and social science research to tackle a question that many women grapple with daily: Can we really have it all—a fulfilling career, a thriving family life, and personal happiness?

Drawing from decades of research and her own expertise in behavioral economics and gender, Low debunks common myths about success, ambition, motherhood, and work-life balance. She dives into why gender gaps persist in pay, promotions, and household labor—and what the numbers actually say about how women can navigate these systems more effectively.

What makes this book stand out is its combination of smart analysis and practical guidance. Low doesn’t sugarcoat the structural inequalities women face, but she also offers real, data-driven strategies for making better choices in work, relationships, and parenting. Her writing is clear, witty, and accessible—even when unpacking complex topics like labor economics or decision theory.

Whether you’re early in your career, considering starting a family, or re-evaluating your path, Having It All is both validating and useful. It empowers readers not by offering a fantasy of perfection, but by showing how women can make the most of their lives in a world that often asks them to do it all with less.

Final Verdict:
A must-read for women seeking clarity, confidence, and control in their lives. Corinne Low combines data and heart to illuminate the real trade-offs—and real opportunities—of trying to have it all.

Advanced Reader Copy

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4/5 stars)

[Jenny Song · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was excited to read the book because the topic resonates, but I found it not very helpful in the end, full of platitudes like “imagine yourself five years from now, happy, what is she doing?”. There were also a lot of contradictions — paternity leave is bad because men actually use it to get ahead at work while women end up using it to take care of their kids, but paternity leave is also good because it allows men to actually develop parental skills — and squishy justifications of the author’s own choices (the stuff about stepping back from volunteering and civic duties made no sense and really bothered me.) I don’t see how it’s possible to go through life with the authors recommended level of constant optimization either. That can’t be a recipe for happiness.

[Mary Gwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bit more vibey than Invisible Women, but also full of data, perspective, and practical advice to consider the ways that your life is a system that either produces or hampers your own happiness - and systems can be changed.

[Natalie Park · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. The audience for this book pertains to younger women from those starting their careers to those with children. Great information!

[Rosie Rust · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me sad for the future (and want to restart therapy) but really insightful research/data/frameworks to think about being a worker mother

[Senti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of these stats felt like getting hit in the head. But an incredibly worthwhile read for any woman in a hetero relationship that wants children.

[Holly | Raise Your Words · Rating 2 out of 5]

RTC

[Natali thehauntingofnatt · Rating 1 out of 5]

No value whatsoever. Bought this after seeing the authors Instagram promo video and it genuinely sounded interesting but this book neither gives clear steps or ideas nor is it objectively looking at data.

[Elizabeth Burkhead · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible! I want to buy this for all my friends.

[Dane Degenstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

Men are the worst but economists are close!

[Liz Pryor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a ton of new information if you’ve read any of the Fair Play content out there, but this summarized the issues well and offered potential solutions both at a macro and micro level to help with the overall problems.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

For all women who love data, economics, or want to feel validated that having it all is impossible without large societal changes. Plenty of practical advice if you're in a relationship where you're carrying the physical and mental load (i.e. most heterosexual relationships).

[Julie Eads · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a data analyst so this books description & title intrigued me but in the last 4 months I absolutely could not make myself pick this up & read it past chapter 3ish I think so I just DNFd it & took it to our little free library this morning so maybe someone else can get something out of it. There’s a story there & some information it just wasn’t for me.

[lysa · Rating 1 out of 5]

The subtitle of the book is “What Data Tells Us About Women’s Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours” and honestly, I wish it could have just been “What Data Tells Us About Women’s Lives” - that was most interesting aspect of the book.

I wanted to read this book after reading an article about Corrine Low in NY magazine, where it was noted she was so swayed by data over gender that she pivoted to a homosexual relationship post divorce after historically dating men.

I found the self help portion to be idealistic, asking women to optimize their “utility function” by constantly pulling levers to balance time, money and happiness which sounds exhausting. Why add more to the crushing mental load we already have?

[Tutankhamun18 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book feels like a warm hug!
It reframes modern womanhood through the lens of economics, arguing that the persistent exhaustion many women feel is not a “personal failing” but the result of competing constraints that society refuses to acknowledge. Corinne Low introduces the idea of a personal utility function: essentially, your unique “life satisfaction scorecard”, to help women make decisions that reflect their values rather than inherited expectations.

Big Ideas

The old marriage bargain has collapsed

Women entered the workforce without receiving a matching shift in domestic labor. The 1950s economic model of “marital specialization” (one breadwinner, one full-time caregiver) no longer holds—but the social expectations of women’s caregiving labor remain.

The “squeeze” is structural, not personal weakness

Careers peak at the same time childrearing requires intense labor. Because women are now also investing in their own education and careers—not just men’s—there is no longer a “release valve” for households.

Love isn’t enough — partnership is about utility

Low pushes readers to evaluate relationships on practical, not just emotional, terms: Does a partner meaningfully contribute resources, childcare, time, and relief? “Love is the epsilon” (a small part of a larger formula).

Time is economic capital

Jobs are “technologies that convert time into money”—but unpaid caregiving is also production. Outsourcing is not luxury; it’s often rational specialization. Not doing so means hiring yourself for that job, at your own cost.


Motherhood is not “free”

Breastfeeding, intensive parenting, and maternal time are treated as invisible labor, although they have enormous opportunity costs. Reproductive capital depreciates just as female professional value is rising—a structural bind.

To get unstuck, you sometimes need a “global” change

Instead of trying to incrementally optimize a broken system (local maximization), women sometimes need a big shift in job, partner, childcare model, city, or expectations, in order to get on a better utility curve.

This book applies economics to lived female experience. Low demystifies academic economics without dumbing it down. By naming constraints—time scarcity, reproductive timelines, household specialization—she allows women to see their choices not as “failures at balance” but as rational responses to structural tradeoffs. Her book balances data and economic theory with the practical day to day luves of women where they must choose a partner, perform or pay for caregiving and value it as real capital and make reproductive choices in light of a career.

Her critique of the myth of “having it all” is mathematically grounded. The brilliance of the book is its insistence that constraints exist but within them, women can still maximize their utility—if they stop playing by male-default economic assumptions.