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Autism Out Loud: Life with a Child on the Spectrum, from Diagnosis to Young Adulthood
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER!
In this moving narrative of resilience and pure love, three mothers share their experiences and learnings about life alongside autism -- From the creators of Finding Cooper's Voice, What Color is Monday?, and Tales of an Educated Debutante
Kate Swenson, Adrian Wood and Carrie Cariello are from different parts of the country and backgrounds, but they were brought together by a singular they are each a mother to a child with autism. Together they have shared laughter, tears, victories and the unconditional love that molds their lives.
Kate, Adrian and Carrie have children with very different autism profiles, and in Autism Out Loud they write about their unique experiences on a variety of topics, from diagnosis to caregiving, schooling and aging. Through their varied stories and lessons they’ve learned, these incredible women provide a glimpse of what to expect on the autism journey and show parents that they are not alone.
Written with honesty and heart, the stories within these pages serve as a reminder that even amid the storms of life, there is always hope and beauty to be found. A tribute to the unparalleled love of mothers, this inspiring book illuminates the joys, challenges and everyday miracles of life on the spectrum.
In this moving narrative of resilience and pure love, three mothers share their experiences and learnings about life alongside autism -- From the creators of Finding Cooper's Voice, What Color is Monday?, and Tales of an Educated Debutante
Kate Swenson, Adrian Wood and Carrie Cariello are from different parts of the country and backgrounds, but they were brought together by a singular they are each a mother to a child with autism. Together they have shared laughter, tears, victories and the unconditional love that molds their lives.
Kate, Adrian and Carrie have children with very different autism profiles, and in Autism Out Loud they write about their unique experiences on a variety of topics, from diagnosis to caregiving, schooling and aging. Through their varied stories and lessons they’ve learned, these incredible women provide a glimpse of what to expect on the autism journey and show parents that they are not alone.
Written with honesty and heart, the stories within these pages serve as a reminder that even amid the storms of life, there is always hope and beauty to be found. A tribute to the unparalleled love of mothers, this inspiring book illuminates the joys, challenges and everyday miracles of life on the spectrum.
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Published April 1, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 315 reviews
February 19, 2025
As an author, this was my first book and I am incredibly proud of it. If you are looking for a safe place to fall, need to learn about autism, or a new parent struggling with a diagnosis, this book is for you!
Xo,
Adrian
Xo,
Adrian
Read
December 28, 2024Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for this ARC.
Autism Out Loud is an incredibly raw and powerful book that dives deep into the realities of life with autism, not just for those diagnosed but for the families and individuals who share that journey. The quote, “Autism is the suitcase I carry every moment of every day. It’s adjusting to the weight only to have it change, and it’s coming to terms that someday, I will be forced to set it down. And wondering, who will pick it up for me and carry it the rest of the way,” resonated deeply with me. Growing up around autism, I found this metaphor heartbreakingly accurate and relatable, capturing both the weight of responsibility and the vulnerability that comes with it.
The three perspectives shared in the book were a highlight, showcasing the diverse experiences and challenges faced by individuals and their families. Each journey is unique, and the stories of the mothers, in particular, were inspiring and deeply moving. Their resilience and determination remind us of the strength it takes to navigate life alongside autism.
What struck me most was the way the book highlights the often-overlooked gap between high school and adult independence. As someone who’s passionate about advocating for better support systems for individuals with autism, this book reignited my drive to push for change in this critical area. The line, “I think of him, tucked away in his dorm-like space, working his very hardest to build a life around a diagnosis—or perhaps in spite of it—and my heart swells with pride,” perfectly encapsulates the mix of pride and worry that many families feel as their loved ones navigate adulthood.
I would recommend this book to anyone, whether they have no experience with autism or have spent a lifetime surrounded by it. For those unfamiliar, it’s an eye-opening journey. For those who’ve lived it, it’s a comforting reminder that you’re not alone. Autism Out Loud is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand the complexities, challenges, and triumphs of life with autism.
Autism Out Loud is an incredibly raw and powerful book that dives deep into the realities of life with autism, not just for those diagnosed but for the families and individuals who share that journey. The quote, “Autism is the suitcase I carry every moment of every day. It’s adjusting to the weight only to have it change, and it’s coming to terms that someday, I will be forced to set it down. And wondering, who will pick it up for me and carry it the rest of the way,” resonated deeply with me. Growing up around autism, I found this metaphor heartbreakingly accurate and relatable, capturing both the weight of responsibility and the vulnerability that comes with it.
The three perspectives shared in the book were a highlight, showcasing the diverse experiences and challenges faced by individuals and their families. Each journey is unique, and the stories of the mothers, in particular, were inspiring and deeply moving. Their resilience and determination remind us of the strength it takes to navigate life alongside autism.
What struck me most was the way the book highlights the often-overlooked gap between high school and adult independence. As someone who’s passionate about advocating for better support systems for individuals with autism, this book reignited my drive to push for change in this critical area. The line, “I think of him, tucked away in his dorm-like space, working his very hardest to build a life around a diagnosis—or perhaps in spite of it—and my heart swells with pride,” perfectly encapsulates the mix of pride and worry that many families feel as their loved ones navigate adulthood.
I would recommend this book to anyone, whether they have no experience with autism or have spent a lifetime surrounded by it. For those unfamiliar, it’s an eye-opening journey. For those who’ve lived it, it’s a comforting reminder that you’re not alone. Autism Out Loud is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand the complexities, challenges, and triumphs of life with autism.
February 7, 2025
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my open and honest opinion. This book was so informative and inspiring. I don’t have much exposure to autism or knowledge. This book was amazing and great way to hear experiences of families who have autistic children.
March 22, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for giving me a copy before the April 1st release. I am a huge fan of Adrian, Kate and Carrie and listen to their “lives” on Facebook every chance I get. I loved their book, they co-wrote together, Autism Out Loud. Everyone who reads it will come away with a better understanding of what it is like to live with someone with Autism and hopefully to make the public more aware of Autism. I thoroughly enjoyed it!! I give it all the stars and recommend it to all.
March 30, 2025
Listening and reading through these experiences was truly profound. As a mother of an almost 15-year-old autistic son, I found myself deeply moved, sometimes even to tears. Every word resonated with me, and I felt so connected to the emotions and struggles shared.
My son has made incredible progress over the years, yet there are still moments when he feels lost—when the world seems too overwhelming, too indifferent to the tenderness of his heart. So often, people fail to see the depth of his emotions, the kindness in his soul, the effort behind every step he takes. It’s a journey filled with challenges, but it is also something immense, something beyond words—a love so fierce, a pride so deep, and a connection so unbreakable.
This experience wasn’t just about reading or listening; it was about feeling. It was about seeing my own story reflected in others, knowing that I am not alone in this journey, and finding comfort in the shared struggles and triumphs. It was emotional, raw, and incredibly powerful.
Thank you, Kate Swenson, Carrie Cariello, and Adrian Wood, for sharing your voices and experiences. Your words truly touched my heart.
My son has made incredible progress over the years, yet there are still moments when he feels lost—when the world seems too overwhelming, too indifferent to the tenderness of his heart. So often, people fail to see the depth of his emotions, the kindness in his soul, the effort behind every step he takes. It’s a journey filled with challenges, but it is also something immense, something beyond words—a love so fierce, a pride so deep, and a connection so unbreakable.
This experience wasn’t just about reading or listening; it was about feeling. It was about seeing my own story reflected in others, knowing that I am not alone in this journey, and finding comfort in the shared struggles and triumphs. It was emotional, raw, and incredibly powerful.
Thank you, Kate Swenson, Carrie Cariello, and Adrian Wood, for sharing your voices and experiences. Your words truly touched my heart.
February 27, 2025
Autism Out Loud is an immersive journey into three mother's lives living with autistic sons. This was such a powerful read not only for those who are diagnosed with autism, but their families, friends, and caregivers who live alongside them. The three authors share their experiences as they navigated diagnoses, marriage and family life after a diagnosis, education, and regular life challenges. Two of the authors have sons under 18 and one author has an adult son, and I appreciated her viewpoint of adult independence while living with autism. I feel this is often overlooked or forgotten. I would recommend this book to anyone, whether you have personal experience with autism or not.
Thank you to NetGalley, Harlequin Trade Publishing, and the authors for this advanced copy. Autism Out Loud is available on April 1, 2025.
Thank you to NetGalley, Harlequin Trade Publishing, and the authors for this advanced copy. Autism Out Loud is available on April 1, 2025.
April 24, 2025
If there is one book I could ask everyone in my life to read, it would be this one. Each one of them has a gift for putting into words the things that we can’t. I feel seen and a lot less alone after reading this book. I would 10/10 recommend to any newly diagnosed family.
June 10, 2025
Overall, I really liked this book. As a parent of a child on the spectrum, there’s something deeply validating about reading other families’ experiences. The stories are honest, raw, and relatable in a way that only comes from lived experience.
I did find myself wishing there had been a family included with a child diagnosed with Level 1 autism, just to add another perspective. But I don’t fault the authors for that—these are their lives, not a checklist. I’m grateful they chose to share them.
I did find myself wishing there had been a family included with a child diagnosed with Level 1 autism, just to add another perspective. But I don’t fault the authors for that—these are their lives, not a checklist. I’m grateful they chose to share them.
July 29, 2025
Intensely disliked this book, but I tend to not enjoy books focused on caregiver perspectives. I'm sure the authors are lovely people and wonderful parents, but it was just not for me. Also, please note, and octave is not a unit of volume, it's an interval, so a person cannot speak "several octaves too loud."
April 6, 2025
I don’t have autism in my life, but this book isn’t just about autism. It’s about motherhood. I enjoyed learning about Cooper, Jack, and Amos and their awesome moms.
April 26, 2025
“ Always ✔️ Sometimes ✔️ Rarely ✔️ Never ✔️”
If you’re considering this book, you’ve almost certainly filled out a questionnaire like this about your child’s behavior, and afterwards wondered “Will this ever change? Will things get better?”
This is a book about parenting the child you didn’t expect, joining the club you didn’t ask for, and the uncertainty & stress that comes with being a caregiver of a child with Autism. As the saying goes, “if you’ve met one person with Autism, you’ve met one person with Autism,” and every family’s emotional journey is lonely and worrisome in its own unique way. The three authors share their stories in an effective parallel narrative structure that highlights their commonalities and differences.
Readers of the authors’ blogs will not find much new material here. Still, the juxtaposition has its own value , as you can relate to some, all or none of them in each chapter. It’s not really a “manual” or “guidebook,” as it is sometimes marketed. It is an important reminder that everyone has their own struggle, that answers are not easy, that there is no such thing as “fair,” and that despite it all, joy is still possible, if you have the strength and faith to see the light between the cracks.
If you’re considering this book, you’ve almost certainly filled out a questionnaire like this about your child’s behavior, and afterwards wondered “Will this ever change? Will things get better?”
This is a book about parenting the child you didn’t expect, joining the club you didn’t ask for, and the uncertainty & stress that comes with being a caregiver of a child with Autism. As the saying goes, “if you’ve met one person with Autism, you’ve met one person with Autism,” and every family’s emotional journey is lonely and worrisome in its own unique way. The three authors share their stories in an effective parallel narrative structure that highlights their commonalities and differences.
Readers of the authors’ blogs will not find much new material here. Still, the juxtaposition has its own value , as you can relate to some, all or none of them in each chapter. It’s not really a “manual” or “guidebook,” as it is sometimes marketed. It is an important reminder that everyone has their own struggle, that answers are not easy, that there is no such thing as “fair,” and that despite it all, joy is still possible, if you have the strength and faith to see the light between the cracks.
December 11, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC. This book was such an informative and insightful read. As a speech therapist, this book has given me a deeper understanding of the mother’s experience, and I know it will stay with me as I continue to support my students and their families. It is an essential read for anyone who supports someone with autism.
November 13, 2025
While my ASD kiddo is on the less severe end of the spectrum, I still found nuggets in this book to be helpful and encouraging.
September 25, 2025
This five star rating is different from my normal five stars. This book hit home in some many ways and brought me to tears many time while listening to the audio of it. As a mother of an autistic child who is 7. We’ve have his diagnosis since he was 3. This touches on so many areas that we deal with.
I don’t know if it was comfort in hearing these things from other points of view. Knowing that we’re not alone, even though I’m part of communities. But there was something in hearing these things from other people point of view. Shedding light on the very real reality of my family’s life with our son.
If you have a child who is autistic or a family member who is. Read this! It will help you see into these family’s on what they really deal with under the surface. Yes you may see what’s on the surface. Like a family that has to turn down events because they can’t attend due to these reasons. It gives better in-site into there life’s. The very real reality they deal with, that they don’t talk about. The things people hide under the surface for fear or what others may think. It sheds the ugly true on what people don’t want to share or try to hide or just don’t want to admit.
I don’t know if it was comfort in hearing these things from other points of view. Knowing that we’re not alone, even though I’m part of communities. But there was something in hearing these things from other people point of view. Shedding light on the very real reality of my family’s life with our son.
If you have a child who is autistic or a family member who is. Read this! It will help you see into these family’s on what they really deal with under the surface. Yes you may see what’s on the surface. Like a family that has to turn down events because they can’t attend due to these reasons. It gives better in-site into there life’s. The very real reality they deal with, that they don’t talk about. The things people hide under the surface for fear or what others may think. It sheds the ugly true on what people don’t want to share or try to hide or just don’t want to admit.
April 7, 2025
My 4 year old daughter was diagnosed with autism about 4 months ago and this book is exactly what I needed. I want to buy it for all our family and friends because it says everything I am feeling/thinking but I’m not ready to say. In this book three women share about their experiences with autism. I cried and smiled my way through the whole book. The audiobook was narrated by them and I recommend for anyone who has anyone in their lives affected by autism.
July 11, 2025
I wish that I could give this book 10 stars!
I am just the grandmother of a child with several diagnosis including autism and even I have never felt more understood or encouraged in the midst of our disability journey.
I have no doubt that every parent navigating disability will find this book to be filled with wisdom, compassion and understanding.
The best and most helpful book that I have read in ages!!
I am just the grandmother of a child with several diagnosis including autism and even I have never felt more understood or encouraged in the midst of our disability journey.
I have no doubt that every parent navigating disability will find this book to be filled with wisdom, compassion and understanding.
The best and most helpful book that I have read in ages!!
July 17, 2025
I have experienced life with a person with autism through family as well as children at school. I know a lot about it, but this really delves into 4 different individuals, their families, and struggles they all face...and overcome at times! Four stories of unwaivering love that knows no boundaries for a parent and child. I recommend this book for teachers as well as parents of any student that has, or has a class with a child on the spectrum.
June 8, 2025
I felt truly seen. This book moved me to tears multiple times.
I had never heard of these authors before, and to be honest, I was surprised by how deeply it impacted me. Even though it’s been 13 years since my son’s diagnosis, the stories and guidance shared here were still incredibly powerful and resonant. Yes, the authors speak from a place of privilege—three educated, financially secure, white women—and if that perspective isn’t for you, you may want to skip it. But I genuinely appreciated their raw honesty, vulnerability, and ultimately positive outlook. Whether you’re new to the autism journey or years into it, I highly recommend this book to any parent navigating life with a neurodivergent child.
I had never heard of these authors before, and to be honest, I was surprised by how deeply it impacted me. Even though it’s been 13 years since my son’s diagnosis, the stories and guidance shared here were still incredibly powerful and resonant. Yes, the authors speak from a place of privilege—three educated, financially secure, white women—and if that perspective isn’t for you, you may want to skip it. But I genuinely appreciated their raw honesty, vulnerability, and ultimately positive outlook. Whether you’re new to the autism journey or years into it, I highly recommend this book to any parent navigating life with a neurodivergent child.
April 2, 2025
Wow. Hands down one of the best reads. I am a mother of a child with Prader-Willi Syndrome and autism. Regardless of the chapter, I found a connection. Not only to the topic, but each mom. This book is three stories in one, but yet, all relatable. This book makes me feel seen, and not alone. No matter if you have a child on the spectrum, or know someone, you have come across someone in your life who is not typically developing. Until you are in the arena do you REALLY know what this life is like. This book puts you in the arena for a little bit. Everyone should read this. People with disabilities belong EVERYWHERE. And, through knowledge comes acceptance and compassion. I know this book will bring that to you.
May 1, 2025
An honest look at 3 moms raising autistic sons. I didn’t agree with everything they wrote - I probably have a different worldview- but I related very much to many of their experiences, fears, and hopes. If you want to get a glimpse of what our life is like, I recommend this book.
September 19, 2025
The real voices of 3 moms loving their sons with autism in difficulty and triumph. A helpful read for gaining understanding, navigating this path personally, or interacting with those who are. I appreciated their delicate balance of honesty and hopefulness.
August 1, 2025
Excellent. Poignant stories of motherhood alongside autism. It’s equal parts, raw, real, beautiful and hopeful. It gave me a sense of peace.
April 18, 2025
It may not be totally perfect, but I wish everyone would read this book simply to get a glimpse at life as a disability parent and what families of a disabled child experience. It's worth your time, I promise.
May 8, 2025
I feel seen. I feel validated. I feel uplifted. And I feel worthy.
To know and belong to a child like Cooper, Jack and Amos is to know true love with no bounds. And this book will help share the challenges AND the overwhelming joy of the lives we are found leading within this community.
EVERYONE needs to give it a read. If not to belong, to understand.
I’m so grateful that this book exists.
Well done, ladies. Well, well done.
To know and belong to a child like Cooper, Jack and Amos is to know true love with no bounds. And this book will help share the challenges AND the overwhelming joy of the lives we are found leading within this community.
EVERYONE needs to give it a read. If not to belong, to understand.
I’m so grateful that this book exists.
Well done, ladies. Well, well done.
May 25, 2025
Three caring moms who discovered each other online take turns telling the story of their own personal journeys alongside someone with autism. Having no previous experience with autism, reading this book increased my empathy and awareness for the silent struggles that so many parents go through.
While the authors contextualize the three levels of autism, they don't acknowledge socioeconomic status as an important determinant of access to resources. I admired and appreciated the authors' honesty and vulnerability, but found descriptions of ski vacations and similar experiences a little tone-deaf. Still, I imagine this book will be helpful to many.
While the authors contextualize the three levels of autism, they don't acknowledge socioeconomic status as an important determinant of access to resources. I admired and appreciated the authors' honesty and vulnerability, but found descriptions of ski vacations and similar experiences a little tone-deaf. Still, I imagine this book will be helpful to many.
April 27, 2025
In "Autism Out Loud," Kate Swenson, Adrian Wood, and Carrie Cariello weave together a tapestry of experiences that feels like sitting at a kitchen table with three wise friends who truly understand the autism journey. Unlike many books on autism that approach the subject clinically or offer one-size-fits-all solutions, this collaborative memoir presents three distinct perspectives of mothers raising sons with varying levels of autism - Cooper (Kate's son), Amos (Adrian's son), and Jack (Carrie's son).
What makes this book particularly powerful is how the authors don't shy away from the raw, often uncomfortable truths about parenting children with autism. They address topics rarely discussed publicly: the grief that accompanies diagnosis, the strain on marriages, the fear of what happens after parents die, and the isolation that can envelop families dealing with severe autism.
The book's structure flows organically through thirteen chapters covering the autism journey from diagnosis to adulthood, with each author taking turns to share her unique perspective. This approach highlights both the universality of certain experiences and the deeply individual nature of each family's story.
Honesty Without Apology: The Unspoken Truths of Autism
Swenson, Wood, and Cariello write with refreshing candor about aspects of autism parenting that often remain in the shadows. Kate's account of Cooper's severe, level 3 autism provides insight into a reality that's underrepresented in mainstream autism narratives:
"Cooper has what's known as an invisible disability. Meaning he has a condition that can't be seen by the naked eye. It can be confusing for people and leaves me wondering if we need to look a certain way in order to get grace in this world."
The authors don't sanitize their experiences or present only the inspirational moments. They describe meltdowns, self-injurious behaviors, and the crushing anxiety that often accompanies autism. Adrian Wood reveals her initial struggle to accept Amos's diagnosis:
"This has to be more than just autism," I said to her. I could hear the desperation in my voice.
I described it to her as something creeping in at random times, grabbing ahold of my boy and serving up an emotional and physical beating until he was barely recognizable to me."
Carrie Cariello's account of obtaining guardianship for her adult son Jack - a process that required her to list all his vulnerabilities in court - is particularly heartbreaking:
"From across the room, I watched Jack's face change. He looked at me in surprise. My stomach sank.
In an attempt to safeguard his health care, his finances, his general well-being, we forgot to safeguard his most tender heart."
Beyond Awareness: The Reality of Severe Autism
One of the book's greatest strengths is its unapologetic focus on severe autism - the 26.7% of people with autism spectrum disorder whom, as Kate points out, are rarely represented in mainstream media depictions. The authors dismantle the "autism is a superpower" narrative without diminishing their sons' worth or uniqueness:
"Autism is not a gift. No one hopes their baby is born with it. No one hopes their son or daughter will struggle with communication, social cues, or isolation. No one hopes they will one day stand in a courtroom and appeal for guardianship."
Instead, they reframe success and celebrate achievements that might seem small to outsiders but represent enormous victories for their children:
"Cooper eats popcorn now. Which is supercool because we have family movie night every Friday and he wants to participate."
"He held the door for me the other day when my hands were full. He's learning about wearing deodorant. He puts his shoes and coat in the closet every day."
The Impact on Family: Marriage, Siblings, and Self
The authors explore how autism reshapes entire family systems. Kate Swenson's account of how autism strained her marriage to the point of divorce (they later remarried) offers both caution and hope:
"The stress on our marriage felt insurmountable at times. The truth is, the day 'Cooper has autism' was said out loud, we were expected to be experts. We were expected to know exactly what to do in an unbelievably hard situation."
The chapter on siblings provides valuable insight into how neurotypical children navigate growing up alongside autism. Sawyer, Kate's second son, experiences what the authors call "leapfrogging" - surpassing his older brother in milestones and development. This creates complex emotions that the authors address with sensitivity and wisdom:
"I've watched him tie his older brother's shoes. And wipe his mouth. Buckle his seat belt. Hold his hand as he leads him through a parking lot. Never forced. He just does these acts of kindness. Because he loves him. The loyalty is fierce."
Limitations and Critiques
While the book's honesty is its greatest strength, at times the collaborative format leads to repetition of themes and ideas across chapters. Some readers might find the transitions between authors jarring, as each brings her distinct voice and writing style.
Additionally, while the focus on boys with autism reflects the authors' experiences, it doesn't capture the often different presentation and challenges faced by girls on the spectrum. The book might have benefited from acknowledging this limitation.
The authors also occasionally present their personal spiritual perspectives without fully acknowledging other worldviews that might frame the autism experience differently. This may resonate strongly with some readers while potentially alienating others.
Final Assessment: A Voice for the Unheard
"Autism Out Loud" fills a crucial gap in autism literature by giving voice to experiences often silenced or overlooked. It serves multiple audiences simultaneously:
- For parents new to autism: A roadmap for navigating diagnosis, education systems, and emotional terrain
- For experienced autism parents: Validation and companionship from others who understand
- For families and friends: Insight into the daily realities of autism caregiving
- For professionals: A window into the lived experience beyond clinical settings
The book ends not with neat conclusions but with questions about the future, reflecting the ongoing nature of the autism journey. As Kate writes:
"I have no idea what the future holds for Cooper or me or our family. I know it will be filled with messy, complicated, sometimes even painful moments. But I also know it will be filled with joyful and beautiful moments too. And all we can do is live each moment fully and into the next."
What makes this book particularly powerful is how the authors don't shy away from the raw, often uncomfortable truths about parenting children with autism. They address topics rarely discussed publicly: the grief that accompanies diagnosis, the strain on marriages, the fear of what happens after parents die, and the isolation that can envelop families dealing with severe autism.
The book's structure flows organically through thirteen chapters covering the autism journey from diagnosis to adulthood, with each author taking turns to share her unique perspective. This approach highlights both the universality of certain experiences and the deeply individual nature of each family's story.
Honesty Without Apology: The Unspoken Truths of Autism
Swenson, Wood, and Cariello write with refreshing candor about aspects of autism parenting that often remain in the shadows. Kate's account of Cooper's severe, level 3 autism provides insight into a reality that's underrepresented in mainstream autism narratives:
"Cooper has what's known as an invisible disability. Meaning he has a condition that can't be seen by the naked eye. It can be confusing for people and leaves me wondering if we need to look a certain way in order to get grace in this world."
The authors don't sanitize their experiences or present only the inspirational moments. They describe meltdowns, self-injurious behaviors, and the crushing anxiety that often accompanies autism. Adrian Wood reveals her initial struggle to accept Amos's diagnosis:
"This has to be more than just autism," I said to her. I could hear the desperation in my voice.
I described it to her as something creeping in at random times, grabbing ahold of my boy and serving up an emotional and physical beating until he was barely recognizable to me."
Carrie Cariello's account of obtaining guardianship for her adult son Jack - a process that required her to list all his vulnerabilities in court - is particularly heartbreaking:
"From across the room, I watched Jack's face change. He looked at me in surprise. My stomach sank.
In an attempt to safeguard his health care, his finances, his general well-being, we forgot to safeguard his most tender heart."
Beyond Awareness: The Reality of Severe Autism
One of the book's greatest strengths is its unapologetic focus on severe autism - the 26.7% of people with autism spectrum disorder whom, as Kate points out, are rarely represented in mainstream media depictions. The authors dismantle the "autism is a superpower" narrative without diminishing their sons' worth or uniqueness:
"Autism is not a gift. No one hopes their baby is born with it. No one hopes their son or daughter will struggle with communication, social cues, or isolation. No one hopes they will one day stand in a courtroom and appeal for guardianship."
Instead, they reframe success and celebrate achievements that might seem small to outsiders but represent enormous victories for their children:
"Cooper eats popcorn now. Which is supercool because we have family movie night every Friday and he wants to participate."
"He held the door for me the other day when my hands were full. He's learning about wearing deodorant. He puts his shoes and coat in the closet every day."
The Impact on Family: Marriage, Siblings, and Self
The authors explore how autism reshapes entire family systems. Kate Swenson's account of how autism strained her marriage to the point of divorce (they later remarried) offers both caution and hope:
"The stress on our marriage felt insurmountable at times. The truth is, the day 'Cooper has autism' was said out loud, we were expected to be experts. We were expected to know exactly what to do in an unbelievably hard situation."
The chapter on siblings provides valuable insight into how neurotypical children navigate growing up alongside autism. Sawyer, Kate's second son, experiences what the authors call "leapfrogging" - surpassing his older brother in milestones and development. This creates complex emotions that the authors address with sensitivity and wisdom:
"I've watched him tie his older brother's shoes. And wipe his mouth. Buckle his seat belt. Hold his hand as he leads him through a parking lot. Never forced. He just does these acts of kindness. Because he loves him. The loyalty is fierce."
Limitations and Critiques
While the book's honesty is its greatest strength, at times the collaborative format leads to repetition of themes and ideas across chapters. Some readers might find the transitions between authors jarring, as each brings her distinct voice and writing style.
Additionally, while the focus on boys with autism reflects the authors' experiences, it doesn't capture the often different presentation and challenges faced by girls on the spectrum. The book might have benefited from acknowledging this limitation.
The authors also occasionally present their personal spiritual perspectives without fully acknowledging other worldviews that might frame the autism experience differently. This may resonate strongly with some readers while potentially alienating others.
Final Assessment: A Voice for the Unheard
"Autism Out Loud" fills a crucial gap in autism literature by giving voice to experiences often silenced or overlooked. It serves multiple audiences simultaneously:
- For parents new to autism: A roadmap for navigating diagnosis, education systems, and emotional terrain
- For experienced autism parents: Validation and companionship from others who understand
- For families and friends: Insight into the daily realities of autism caregiving
- For professionals: A window into the lived experience beyond clinical settings
The book ends not with neat conclusions but with questions about the future, reflecting the ongoing nature of the autism journey. As Kate writes:
"I have no idea what the future holds for Cooper or me or our family. I know it will be filled with messy, complicated, sometimes even painful moments. But I also know it will be filled with joyful and beautiful moments too. And all we can do is live each moment fully and into the next."
April 18, 2025
Thank you, Harlequin Audio and Harlequin Trade Publishing, for the ALC a d digital ARC.
This was such an eye-opening and awesome book. Hearing the mom's give life to their own experiences and seeing all the commonalities in myself was a very needed experience. Seeing the possibilities for my own child's future was both scary and empowering in the book. I. An only hope that more families with autism are able to read this and know that there are communities of people out their who experience the same things we're going through and can be a support for us.
It took me a little while to crack this one open, because I was honestly afraid of what I would find. As a mom to a child with autism, it can sometimes be scary reading these books because there's this fear that you will either be robbed of all hope for the future development of your young one, or on the flip slide, you'll get some miracle story that you know will never be your reality.
My experience of this novel turned out to be exactly what I needed. The experiences shared within these pages allowed me to feel seen and understood in so many ways. The grief of losing the experiences your child will never have, and the guilt that goes along with that has been something I've kept so close to my chest, and it was very refreshing to know that other moms also experience that. Learning how other families have navigated autism from childhood into adulthood for their kids has made this book something I expect to return to repeatedly in the future. This is a great resource for autism families, especially the ones who lack community.
This was such an eye-opening and awesome book. Hearing the mom's give life to their own experiences and seeing all the commonalities in myself was a very needed experience. Seeing the possibilities for my own child's future was both scary and empowering in the book. I. An only hope that more families with autism are able to read this and know that there are communities of people out their who experience the same things we're going through and can be a support for us.
It took me a little while to crack this one open, because I was honestly afraid of what I would find. As a mom to a child with autism, it can sometimes be scary reading these books because there's this fear that you will either be robbed of all hope for the future development of your young one, or on the flip slide, you'll get some miracle story that you know will never be your reality.
My experience of this novel turned out to be exactly what I needed. The experiences shared within these pages allowed me to feel seen and understood in so many ways. The grief of losing the experiences your child will never have, and the guilt that goes along with that has been something I've kept so close to my chest, and it was very refreshing to know that other moms also experience that. Learning how other families have navigated autism from childhood into adulthood for their kids has made this book something I expect to return to repeatedly in the future. This is a great resource for autism families, especially the ones who lack community.
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April 29, 2025I think it's really hard to rate memoirs, especially when the authors are sharing something deeply vulnerable as they are here. The main reason I requested an ARC copy of this book is because I am autistic and trying to learn about the experiences of parents/caregivers of autistic children better.
This helped me better understand the hopes and anxieties of parents, I think, and I appreciate how much emotional depth and vulnerability all three authors put into sharing their experiences. Also that their children were so different in terms of personality and support needs.
However, I don't think this book comes succeeds in giving a nuanced or all-encompassing overview of what it means to be a parent of an autistic child because, well... their backgrounds are also all pretty homogenous. Their children are all boys, they are all white, and they come from (it seemed like) a similar socioeconomic background. So do their thoughts and concerns reflect the experiences of all parents/caregivers of autistic children? To me, it seemed like a more limited window. But maybe that is not the purpose of it--maybe it is less of a guide than a shared memoir.
This helped me better understand the hopes and anxieties of parents, I think, and I appreciate how much emotional depth and vulnerability all three authors put into sharing their experiences. Also that their children were so different in terms of personality and support needs.
However, I don't think this book comes succeeds in giving a nuanced or all-encompassing overview of what it means to be a parent of an autistic child because, well... their backgrounds are also all pretty homogenous. Their children are all boys, they are all white, and they come from (it seemed like) a similar socioeconomic background. So do their thoughts and concerns reflect the experiences of all parents/caregivers of autistic children? To me, it seemed like a more limited window. But maybe that is not the purpose of it--maybe it is less of a guide than a shared memoir.
April 9, 2025
Three mothers of autistic children on varying ends of the Autism spectrum recount their experiences and challenges raising neurodiverse people. I thought this was highly relatable, vulnerable and honest and also great on audio. Highly recommended reading for anyone who is also raising an autistic child. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!
June 11, 2025
Amazing book. It took me a while to read this, not due to the book, but myself. I wanted to really read it, take it in, and process it. I have a son with autism and this book gave me so much hope for my son’s future. It gave me ideas for his future and ways to help him be an independent adult. Thank you ladies for writing a book for the autism community. I needed this so desperately to help me not to feel so alone in this journey.
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