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My Train Leaves at Three
After her sister Nena’s sudden death, Xiomara, an Afro-Latina singer and actress born and raised in Washington Heights, is numb. With her sister gone, Xiomara, painfully close to thirty, is living in a tiny apartment with her ultra-Catholic Puerto Rican mother, and having the same shitty sex with the same shitty men that she’s been entertaining for years. Behind on rent despite two minimum-wage jobs, one of which involves singing show tunes while serving pancakes to tourists at Ellen’s Stardust Diner, Xiomara is bitingly cynical, especially in her grief, and barely treading water.
But when a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity falls into her lap—the chance to audition for Manny Santos, the most charismatic director of the moment—Xiomara sees a second chance to pursue the dream she thought she’d lost. Meanwhile, something about Santi, a new co-worker at the print shop where she spends half of her days photocopying other performers’ headshots, starts to tug at the threads of her apathy. Nothing is simple, and soon Xiomara finds herself interacting with the ugliest sides of the industry and the powerful men who control it. Sometimes the closer you are to your dreams, the further away you become from yourself, and as Xiomara grapples with this hard truth, she is forced to ask herself if she has what it takes to build a new shiny life without losing the truth of her old one.
7 hrs. 7 mins.
With hopeful spirit and unapologetic energy, My Train Leaves at Three is a coming-of-age story about the balancing act between moving on and moving forward.
But when a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity falls into her lap—the chance to audition for Manny Santos, the most charismatic director of the moment—Xiomara sees a second chance to pursue the dream she thought she’d lost. Meanwhile, something about Santi, a new co-worker at the print shop where she spends half of her days photocopying other performers’ headshots, starts to tug at the threads of her apathy. Nothing is simple, and soon Xiomara finds herself interacting with the ugliest sides of the industry and the powerful men who control it. Sometimes the closer you are to your dreams, the further away you become from yourself, and as Xiomara grapples with this hard truth, she is forced to ask herself if she has what it takes to build a new shiny life without losing the truth of her old one.
7 hrs. 7 mins.
With hopeful spirit and unapologetic energy, My Train Leaves at Three is a coming-of-age story about the balancing act between moving on and moving forward.
8 pages, Audible Audio
First published July 15, 2025
About the author
Natalie Guerrero
3 books89 followersNatalie Guerrero is a writer and producer based in Los Angeles. Her writing has been featured in publications such as Electric Literature, Byline, Goop, and Blavity. My Train Leaves at Three (2025) is her first novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 371 reviews
April 17, 2025
3.75 stars
"I'll do anything to be desired."
Xiomara just feels so real and relatable. Every decision she made had me thinking, Would I do the same? Every moment of jealousy made me pause and go, Yeah, I'd probably feel that way too. She’s a little bit bitchy sometimes, but never in a mean-spirited way. It just felt honest, like the kind of emotional messiness we all go through as humans.
And yeah, Xiomara could be childish, moody like a sullen teenager at times. But honestly? I couldn’t even be mad. My grown-ass self still acts like that sometimes too.
Every character in this book felt real. Not like perfect, polished fiction. No Mary Sues, no impossibly supportive best friends or ideal families, just people, as they are. Flawed, raw, but still full of love in their own ways.
And I really loved how things turned out for Xiomara. It felt close to my own life. I’m not living my dream either, but I’m still happy. That hit home.
I really enjoyed this one. I debated between giving it 3.5 or 4 stars, and in the end, I went with 3.75,lol, because I saw a lot of myself in Xiomara. hehe.
Note: Thank you, Random House Publishing Group, for giving me this ARC.
"I'll do anything to be desired."
Xiomara just feels so real and relatable. Every decision she made had me thinking, Would I do the same? Every moment of jealousy made me pause and go, Yeah, I'd probably feel that way too. She’s a little bit bitchy sometimes, but never in a mean-spirited way. It just felt honest, like the kind of emotional messiness we all go through as humans.
And yeah, Xiomara could be childish, moody like a sullen teenager at times. But honestly? I couldn’t even be mad. My grown-ass self still acts like that sometimes too.
Every character in this book felt real. Not like perfect, polished fiction. No Mary Sues, no impossibly supportive best friends or ideal families, just people, as they are. Flawed, raw, but still full of love in their own ways.
And I really loved how things turned out for Xiomara. It felt close to my own life. I’m not living my dream either, but I’m still happy. That hit home.
I really enjoyed this one. I debated between giving it 3.5 or 4 stars, and in the end, I went with 3.75,lol, because I saw a lot of myself in Xiomara. hehe.
Note: Thank you, Random House Publishing Group, for giving me this ARC.
November 5, 2025
4/5
- This was such a great coming of age story. The fmc was truly doing anything she could to follow her dreams and was so relatable in how she struggled to figure out her next steps.
- Would have loved to read this in a book club because seeing the fmc push her morals to the side for her career was so sad, but a common occurrence you see in society.
- Still can’t believe this is the first book that this author has ever written. Ya girl is in her contemporary fiction era! I loved this one!
- This was such a great coming of age story. The fmc was truly doing anything she could to follow her dreams and was so relatable in how she struggled to figure out her next steps.
- Would have loved to read this in a book club because seeing the fmc push her morals to the side for her career was so sad, but a common occurrence you see in society.
- Still can’t believe this is the first book that this author has ever written. Ya girl is in her contemporary fiction era! I loved this one!
November 28, 2025
3.5 stars
A poignant coming-of-age story about an Afro-Latina woman trying to make it in New York City. I thought Natalie Guerrero did an excellent job of portraying the racism, sexism, and classism faced by our protagonist Xiomara as she tries to pursue her career as an actress. At the same time, Guerrero doesn’t just make this book about the oppression Xiomara faces – she’s gritty, determined, and messy yet relatable. I appreciated the plotline about Xiomara’s problematic white friend Cassie, Xiomara’s arc of coming into herself more, and the overall shape of her relationship with Santi.
I went back and forth between rounding up to four and rounding down to three because there were some elements of this book that didn’t land quite effectively for me. At times the writing felt awkward or not that mature; for example even though I vibed with Xiomara’s romance with Santi for what it represented, a lot of their scenes together, especially toward the middle and end, came across as forced. I also feel like this novel could have done without the plot of Xiomara’s sister who passed away. Still, politically and personally I resonate with what this book put down, so I’m rounding up to four stars.
A poignant coming-of-age story about an Afro-Latina woman trying to make it in New York City. I thought Natalie Guerrero did an excellent job of portraying the racism, sexism, and classism faced by our protagonist Xiomara as she tries to pursue her career as an actress. At the same time, Guerrero doesn’t just make this book about the oppression Xiomara faces – she’s gritty, determined, and messy yet relatable. I appreciated the plotline about Xiomara’s problematic white friend Cassie, Xiomara’s arc of coming into herself more, and the overall shape of her relationship with Santi.
I went back and forth between rounding up to four and rounding down to three because there were some elements of this book that didn’t land quite effectively for me. At times the writing felt awkward or not that mature; for example even though I vibed with Xiomara’s romance with Santi for what it represented, a lot of their scenes together, especially toward the middle and end, came across as forced. I also feel like this novel could have done without the plot of Xiomara’s sister who passed away. Still, politically and personally I resonate with what this book put down, so I’m rounding up to four stars.
2025
January 24, 2025Latine Heritage Month TBR
📱 Thank you to NetGalley and One World
📱 Thank you to NetGalley and One World
July 23, 2025
Grief is rarely linear, and this novel captures its complexity with striking honesty. Anger, in particular, is portrayed not just as a reaction, but as a mask—one worn by those who may not yet understand the full scope of their own sorrow. Layered with themes of religion, cultural expectations, and a turbulent past, this story explores emotional trauma through a deeply personal lens.
While the book’s opening pulled me in, the narrative gradually grew darker and more emotionally charged. The protagonist, Xiomara, navigates her grief with raw intensity—sometimes in ways that feel overwhelming. Her pain is palpable, and at times, it spills off the page in a way that left me feeling emotionally drained. I found myself both empathizing with her and internally pleading for her to pause, breathe, and process.
This isn’t a story of tears or melodrama—it’s one of quiet emotional weight, of internal chaos, and of grief manifesting in anger, confusion, and isolation. It’s not an easy read, nor is it meant to be. It may not resonate with every reader, but for those open to exploring the complexities of mourning and identity, this novel offers a sobering, thought-provoking experience.
While the book’s opening pulled me in, the narrative gradually grew darker and more emotionally charged. The protagonist, Xiomara, navigates her grief with raw intensity—sometimes in ways that feel overwhelming. Her pain is palpable, and at times, it spills off the page in a way that left me feeling emotionally drained. I found myself both empathizing with her and internally pleading for her to pause, breathe, and process.
This isn’t a story of tears or melodrama—it’s one of quiet emotional weight, of internal chaos, and of grief manifesting in anger, confusion, and isolation. It’s not an easy read, nor is it meant to be. It may not resonate with every reader, but for those open to exploring the complexities of mourning and identity, this novel offers a sobering, thought-provoking experience.
November 9, 2025
4.75⭐️
Xiomara is a complete mess! Immature, terrible decision maker and in a complete rut after her sister’s passing.
She’s trying to make a way for herself hoping to land on the Broadway stage despite her super catholic mother’s skepticism and the tough road tough road ahead of her.
This story will not be for everyone. The plot drags a bit towards the beginning , is almost nonexistent in the first 35% to the point that you’ll be reading just to be reading and confused as to where this is even going.
However, somewhere in this story, I looked up and realized that I forgot about everything that was throwing me off in the beginning and I got LOST. Maybe because it was so real, it was raw and it was different from the norm. This ended up turning into a beautiful debut novel and it was so unexpected for me.
I’ve had this book on my radar for a few months now and I’m soooo glad I gave it a chance.
The take away I got from this is that grief is a dark place that can take you down so many roads. But the day you decide that enough is enough and you decide to truly start to live again? That’s where the beauty in it all lies🕊️♥️
Xiomara is a complete mess! Immature, terrible decision maker and in a complete rut after her sister’s passing.
She’s trying to make a way for herself hoping to land on the Broadway stage despite her super catholic mother’s skepticism and the tough road tough road ahead of her.
This story will not be for everyone. The plot drags a bit towards the beginning , is almost nonexistent in the first 35% to the point that you’ll be reading just to be reading and confused as to where this is even going.
However, somewhere in this story, I looked up and realized that I forgot about everything that was throwing me off in the beginning and I got LOST. Maybe because it was so real, it was raw and it was different from the norm. This ended up turning into a beautiful debut novel and it was so unexpected for me.
I’ve had this book on my radar for a few months now and I’m soooo glad I gave it a chance.
The take away I got from this is that grief is a dark place that can take you down so many roads. But the day you decide that enough is enough and you decide to truly start to live again? That’s where the beauty in it all lies🕊️♥️
July 14, 2025
Review: MY TRAIN LEAVES AT THREE by Natalie Guerrero
"I've heard envy is just a sign pointing you toward what you want in life."
"America is obsessed with dead girls. It's sickening really, the idea that we are so much more valuable dead than alive."
Thanks to One World / Penguin Random House for the complimentary hardcover of MY TRAIN LEAVES AT THREE! 📖🚂
I really love Natalie Guerrero's writing style. Having been to NYC several times for different reasons throughout my life, I found myself falling for the city all over again through her incredibly immersive writing. Her vivid language truly brought the city to life, which was just amazing. I was completely engrossed in Xiomara's story and could relate to her plight. The aspiring actress storyline, the complex family drama 🎭, and the themes of grief all resonated deeply. This book is very well-done, and the prose is simply gorgeous.
I ended up highlighting so many lines because her words truly stood out. These few really stuck with me:
"It's always this way with men. I give you this if you'll give me that."
"When I finally make it to the audition, everyone looks just like me but better."
My thanks again to the publisher for this book. And just to be clear, this review is 100% voluntary! ✨
"I've heard envy is just a sign pointing you toward what you want in life."
"America is obsessed with dead girls. It's sickening really, the idea that we are so much more valuable dead than alive."
Thanks to One World / Penguin Random House for the complimentary hardcover of MY TRAIN LEAVES AT THREE! 📖🚂
I really love Natalie Guerrero's writing style. Having been to NYC several times for different reasons throughout my life, I found myself falling for the city all over again through her incredibly immersive writing. Her vivid language truly brought the city to life, which was just amazing. I was completely engrossed in Xiomara's story and could relate to her plight. The aspiring actress storyline, the complex family drama 🎭, and the themes of grief all resonated deeply. This book is very well-done, and the prose is simply gorgeous.
I ended up highlighting so many lines because her words truly stood out. These few really stuck with me:
"It's always this way with men. I give you this if you'll give me that."
"When I finally make it to the audition, everyone looks just like me but better."
My thanks again to the publisher for this book. And just to be clear, this review is 100% voluntary! ✨
May 18, 2026
I first saw this book on a NY Times list last year during Hispanic Heritage Month. It took a while to be next up on my TBR, but very glad I saved this one!
My Train Leaves at Three follows Xiomara, an Afro-Dominican actress struggling to pay rent in Washington Heights NY. Whether it’s working long shifts at Ellen’s, a singing diner, or dealing with sexist colleagues at her print shop job, nothing comes easy for Xiomara.
And then just when Xiomara is on the brink of giving up her broadway dreams, she hears about a hot-shot new producer named Manny and his new show.
But the audition process and Xiomara’s relationship with Manny quickly becomes complicated and Xiomara is faced with a major decision.
A really in-depth look at power dynamics in the acting industry, racial inequities in the housing industry, and family death/grief.
I wasn’t a huge fan of the romance subplot in this one, but loved Xiomara’s grit and work ethic. Looking forward to seeing more of Natalie Guerros work!
My Train Leaves at Three follows Xiomara, an Afro-Dominican actress struggling to pay rent in Washington Heights NY. Whether it’s working long shifts at Ellen’s, a singing diner, or dealing with sexist colleagues at her print shop job, nothing comes easy for Xiomara.
And then just when Xiomara is on the brink of giving up her broadway dreams, she hears about a hot-shot new producer named Manny and his new show.
But the audition process and Xiomara’s relationship with Manny quickly becomes complicated and Xiomara is faced with a major decision.
A really in-depth look at power dynamics in the acting industry, racial inequities in the housing industry, and family death/grief.
I wasn’t a huge fan of the romance subplot in this one, but loved Xiomara’s grit and work ethic. Looking forward to seeing more of Natalie Guerros work!
March 24, 2025
DNF'd at 45%. Couldn't get into the plot, setting, or main character at all. The main character, Xiomara, is pushing 30, but acts and thinks like she's barely out of high school. Unmotivated, irresponsible, lets her unemployed mother walk all over her when she's the one barely keeping them afloat. Then there were the cardboard male characters developing feelings for her for no discernable reason. Then the idea that she'd gotten good enough parts in musicals to contribute to her household, for I'm guessing 7-8 years, but was a terrible dancer? I couldn't read anymore; Xiomara wasn't likeable, her reasoning for her predicaments got old, and the opportunities coming her way were too far fetched.
July 21, 2025
A grieving Broadway star has to hit rock bottom incthr industry before soaring to new heights.
Audiobook Stats:
⏰: 8 hours
🎤: Rae De Vine
Publisher: Penguin Random House
Format: Singular POV
I enjoyed this audiobook. I loved the voice and tempo of the narrator. The narration was clear and concise. I never had to adjust my speed. The narrator was fantastic at making the FMC shine!
Themes:
🎵: Grief
🎵: Family relationships
🎵: Explores sexuality and various forms of love
Representation:
🎤: Strong female lead
🎤: Afro-Latina FMC Dominican
🎤: Conversational Spanish
Tropes:
💗: Broadway star
💗: Woman succeeding in a man's world
🥵: Spice: 🌶️
Potential Triggers: domestic violence **check authors page/socials for full list.
Short Synopsis:
Xiomara is dealing with the immense grief of losing her sister any way she knows how. Unfortunately, this means, jumping from man-to-man, self-destructive behavior and the eventual demise of her Broadway career. After witnessing the ugly side of the industry, the Xiomara decides that she's going to start living for herself, setting boundaries and moving forward in life.
General Thoughts:
Talk about a messy protagonist and an even messier plot line. But in the absolute best way possible. We watch Xiomara make bad decision after regretful decision and all the while wishing we could save her from herself. Watching Xiomara deal with immense grief amid the decline of her personal and family life is absolutely devastating in so many ways. But you also can't help but love her spunk and tenacity, and it makes her so easy to root for. Even though you basically just wish the entire book that she would just get a small break.
Xiomara was a relatable and layered character. She felt realistic and relatable in almost every way. She really was not just the center of the story but a showstopper as well. Watching her grow and developed throughout the book was extremely compelling and endearing.
This book did have some hard to read areas that I would suggest getting trigger warnings for. We do have to watch Xiomara hit rock bottom within the Broadway industry by putting her trust in the wrong people and making some decisions that absolutely were not in her best interest. This was done very well and felt very organic and added depth to the plot line. It definitely got the reader emotionally invested.
The only criticism I have during my read was I felt like things were resolved a little too simply between her and her mother. But this was a minor annoyance that was probably just personal to my reading and I don't feel affected the overall novel too deeply.
I would definitely read more by this author in the future. Her character work is immaculate.
Disclaimer: I read this audiobook via free ALC through the Penguin Random House Audiobook Influencer Program. All opinions are my own. This is my honest and voluntary review.
Audiobook Stats:
⏰: 8 hours
🎤: Rae De Vine
Publisher: Penguin Random House
Format: Singular POV
I enjoyed this audiobook. I loved the voice and tempo of the narrator. The narration was clear and concise. I never had to adjust my speed. The narrator was fantastic at making the FMC shine!
Themes:
🎵: Grief
🎵: Family relationships
🎵: Explores sexuality and various forms of love
Representation:
🎤: Strong female lead
🎤: Afro-Latina FMC Dominican
🎤: Conversational Spanish
Tropes:
💗: Broadway star
💗: Woman succeeding in a man's world
🥵: Spice: 🌶️
Potential Triggers: domestic violence **check authors page/socials for full list.
Short Synopsis:
Xiomara is dealing with the immense grief of losing her sister any way she knows how. Unfortunately, this means, jumping from man-to-man, self-destructive behavior and the eventual demise of her Broadway career. After witnessing the ugly side of the industry, the Xiomara decides that she's going to start living for herself, setting boundaries and moving forward in life.
General Thoughts:
Talk about a messy protagonist and an even messier plot line. But in the absolute best way possible. We watch Xiomara make bad decision after regretful decision and all the while wishing we could save her from herself. Watching Xiomara deal with immense grief amid the decline of her personal and family life is absolutely devastating in so many ways. But you also can't help but love her spunk and tenacity, and it makes her so easy to root for. Even though you basically just wish the entire book that she would just get a small break.
Xiomara was a relatable and layered character. She felt realistic and relatable in almost every way. She really was not just the center of the story but a showstopper as well. Watching her grow and developed throughout the book was extremely compelling and endearing.
This book did have some hard to read areas that I would suggest getting trigger warnings for. We do have to watch Xiomara hit rock bottom within the Broadway industry by putting her trust in the wrong people and making some decisions that absolutely were not in her best interest. This was done very well and felt very organic and added depth to the plot line. It definitely got the reader emotionally invested.
The only criticism I have during my read was I felt like things were resolved a little too simply between her and her mother. But this was a minor annoyance that was probably just personal to my reading and I don't feel affected the overall novel too deeply.
I would definitely read more by this author in the future. Her character work is immaculate.
Disclaimer: I read this audiobook via free ALC through the Penguin Random House Audiobook Influencer Program. All opinions are my own. This is my honest and voluntary review.
July 22, 2025
⭐️
I’ve learned that I am bitter when I’m close to the shore. Even when I think whatever is coming my way might be my life raft, it’s like I don’t want to be saved.
I wish someone would've saved me from reading this book.
As someone who loves Broadway, I really was looking forward to this book. However, just like Cameron Dallas' singing in Mean Girls, I was disappointed.
That's all I’m going to say.
Thank You for coming to my TedTalk.
I’ve learned that I am bitter when I’m close to the shore. Even when I think whatever is coming my way might be my life raft, it’s like I don’t want to be saved.
I wish someone would've saved me from reading this book.
As someone who loves Broadway, I really was looking forward to this book. However, just like Cameron Dallas' singing in Mean Girls, I was disappointed.
That's all I’m going to say.
Thank You for coming to my TedTalk.
July 3, 2025
@oneworldbooks | #gifted 𝗠𝗬 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗡 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗦 𝗔𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘 by Natalie Guerrero, a story of grief and life after loss, is a book that in many ways felt very personal to me. Its main character, Xiomara, suddenly lost her older sister nearly a year before the story begins and she’s been reeling ever since. The daughter of a Puerto Rican single mom, they depended on the income from all three women to keep their lives in Washington Heights afloat. Xiomara is now working 2 jobs trying to fill in the gaps, but the margins are woking against her. On top of all that, she’s abandoned her dreams of making it on Broadway.
Though I didn’t always feel good about Xiomara’s choices, I did like the way most of the book evolved. She was a mess and often made poor/impulsive decisions, which is so very realistic. At times I felt a little like I was rubber necking at a car accident as Xiomara took a torch to her own life, but that’s what grief will do to you. That’s what having few options can do. That’s what losing hope will do, especially for someone not yet out of their twenties. I know. I lost a sister when I was only 18. It was truly life shattering and Guerrero got that right.
I liked the last 20% of the book less because I felt like it went in a completely unexpected direction, taking the story from crushingly realistic to fairy tale land. I wish the author wouldn’t have made such a dramatic u-turn. There’s more I could say about why I didn’t care for this part, but that would take us into spoiler territory. Despite the ending, overall I enjoyed the reading experience I had with 𝘔𝘺 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦. ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫✨
Though I didn’t always feel good about Xiomara’s choices, I did like the way most of the book evolved. She was a mess and often made poor/impulsive decisions, which is so very realistic. At times I felt a little like I was rubber necking at a car accident as Xiomara took a torch to her own life, but that’s what grief will do to you. That’s what having few options can do. That’s what losing hope will do, especially for someone not yet out of their twenties. I know. I lost a sister when I was only 18. It was truly life shattering and Guerrero got that right.
I liked the last 20% of the book less because I felt like it went in a completely unexpected direction, taking the story from crushingly realistic to fairy tale land. I wish the author wouldn’t have made such a dramatic u-turn. There’s more I could say about why I didn’t care for this part, but that would take us into spoiler territory. Despite the ending, overall I enjoyed the reading experience I had with 𝘔𝘺 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦. ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫✨
August 12, 2025
Mamis, if you’re looking for another summer read, My Train Leaves at Three might be a good option. Guerrero’s debut gives Rosario in Chu, Hudes, and Miranda’s Into the Heights meets Nicky in Mellor’s Blue Sisters meets Alba in Honey (2003). 29-year-old Xiomara dreams of singing on stage, but her big sister Nena’s heart suddenly stops, and her death derails X’s plans. Mami shuts down, and X works two part-time jobs and slowly returns to auditioning for a Broadway role. Along the way, she makes enemies, loses friends, and gains more family.
I didn’t expect the novel to have a YA or NA tone, and I felt slightly bothered, actually, with Xiomara’s career shift at the end. Her job as a teacher provides an easy circumvention of X’s trajectory. Guerrero could have placed more obvious signs earlier in the book that X enjoys kids, communicating to a crowd, or teaching, so that the decision to become an educator would have cohered more.
As someone who cares about education and being a “good” educator, I find the “those who can’t” snub (e.g., as Wednesday Addams callously hurls at her new music teacher in S2 E1) sorely misunderstands the responsibility of helping shape minds so that we can build a better world. I don’t have issues with stumbling into something one enjoys and excels at doing, but my idealism towards academia makes me sensitive. Nevertheless, X’s spunky attitude and the Puerto Rican culture held my attention and outweighed this small blight.
CW: physical abuse by a partner.
I didn’t expect the novel to have a YA or NA tone, and I felt slightly bothered, actually, with Xiomara’s career shift at the end. Her job as a teacher provides an easy circumvention of X’s trajectory. Guerrero could have placed more obvious signs earlier in the book that X enjoys kids, communicating to a crowd, or teaching, so that the decision to become an educator would have cohered more.
As someone who cares about education and being a “good” educator, I find the “those who can’t” snub (e.g., as Wednesday Addams callously hurls at her new music teacher in S2 E1) sorely misunderstands the responsibility of helping shape minds so that we can build a better world. I don’t have issues with stumbling into something one enjoys and excels at doing, but my idealism towards academia makes me sensitive. Nevertheless, X’s spunky attitude and the Puerto Rican culture held my attention and outweighed this small blight.
CW: physical abuse by a partner.
September 19, 2025
Beautiful, propulsive writing about grief, loss, and ambition. So up my alley. I will always stand with a messy WOC protagonist, especially a Latina, ESPECIALLY a Dominican woman who is finding her voice, path, and purpose amidst crushing societal and financial expectations.
This is a novel that balances a lot, but the relationships between Xiomara and her friends and mother were so true to life. The characters were rich and fully realized, and Guerrero is an incredible conjurer of metaphors that situate you directly into the lives of these characters. New York is pivotal to this book, and the author's love of her city and hometown bleed through.
Highly recommend for readers of stories of women in their twenties coming of age, Latinx readers seeking a beautifully written story about seeking and finding, and people who love New York and the imperfect people within it.
This is a novel that balances a lot, but the relationships between Xiomara and her friends and mother were so true to life. The characters were rich and fully realized, and Guerrero is an incredible conjurer of metaphors that situate you directly into the lives of these characters. New York is pivotal to this book, and the author's love of her city and hometown bleed through.
Highly recommend for readers of stories of women in their twenties coming of age, Latinx readers seeking a beautifully written story about seeking and finding, and people who love New York and the imperfect people within it.
June 22, 2025
The Afro-Latina coming of age story I wish I’d had at twenty one. A beautiful one of kind, yet universal story.
October 2, 2025
For a debut, this is actually pretty good! What convinced me to pick it up was the mention of Ellen's Stardust Diner in NYC in the blurb - I love that place! The book is well written, and as a theatre enthusiast, it’s fun to read about Xiomara’s journey through NYC’s theatre scene. It could be better, though, but I can’t quite put my finger on what’s missing. Overall, it’s a solid 3.5 stars, and I can’t wait to read more from Natalie Guerrero!
April 25, 2025
4.5! the main character is messy and immature and emotionally stunted, and makes enough mistakes and self-destructive decisions to fill three lifetimes, but she is real and honest in her messiness in the way anyone drowning in grief from the death of their sister would be. her struggles as a Black Latina in upper manhattan weren’t romanticized, and I found it relatable to a lot of the challenges that immigrant communities of color without generational wealth face in an ever exorbitantly expensive world. also loved the extent of the characters’ development - they were fully fleshed out and complex and contain multitudes. even posthumously I felt like I came to know nena and the fierce love between her and xiomara.
the ending of the book with xiomara’s life suddenly and magically falling into place and her finding happiness, stability, and a deep sense of purpose through a coincidental networking connection feels quite idealistic and unrealistic…but you know what, I’m choosing to believe that people of color don’t always have to suffer to deserve a happy ending and to have things work out for them, and that sometimes, good things can just miraculously fall into our laps.
some lines that hit me:
“No matter where I go, I always seem to be catching my breath. I worry I’ll never outrun myself. That after everything that’s happened, I’ll always have some great load of catching up to do.”
“I think that love must be tender when women do it together.”
“This is my mother, and I think if I stay right here, nothing can hurt me.”
“I hear the mundane melody of ending something that was never meant for me at all.”
“Spinning pure gold from a thick and brutal stack of hay.”
the ending of the book with xiomara’s life suddenly and magically falling into place and her finding happiness, stability, and a deep sense of purpose through a coincidental networking connection feels quite idealistic and unrealistic…but you know what, I’m choosing to believe that people of color don’t always have to suffer to deserve a happy ending and to have things work out for them, and that sometimes, good things can just miraculously fall into our laps.
some lines that hit me:
“No matter where I go, I always seem to be catching my breath. I worry I’ll never outrun myself. That after everything that’s happened, I’ll always have some great load of catching up to do.”
“I think that love must be tender when women do it together.”
“This is my mother, and I think if I stay right here, nothing can hurt me.”
“I hear the mundane melody of ending something that was never meant for me at all.”
“Spinning pure gold from a thick and brutal stack of hay.”
February 6, 2026
Oof. yall this was not it. Unfortunately I did not like this book. The writing was juvenile, both in style and content. It was very difficult to like Xiomara as a character, though I felt really bad for her loss and her inner turmoil that caused her to behave the way she did. That’s the extra star— i would have given it 1.
Most characters were pretty flat, but far and away my biggest problem with this book/the writing was the not- at-all-disguised foot fetish? There are COUNTLESS references to this characters feet, toes and ankles in each and every chapter. I could not believe it. As a person who hates feet, this just about ruined the book for me. So, so unnecessary.
Most characters were pretty flat, but far and away my biggest problem with this book/the writing was the not- at-all-disguised foot fetish? There are COUNTLESS references to this characters feet, toes and ankles in each and every chapter. I could not believe it. As a person who hates feet, this just about ruined the book for me. So, so unnecessary.
May 8, 2026
it’s wild how quickly i’ll shape shift for my dreams to come true.
yeah, i will absolutely be reading more from Natalie Guerrero for sure.
it’s a crime, i think, that we make girls say thank you for the things that gut them.
oof.
yeah, i will absolutely be reading more from Natalie Guerrero for sure.
it’s a crime, i think, that we make girls say thank you for the things that gut them.
oof.
March 25, 2026
There are two halves to this book that, while connected by the characters and plot, feel disparate and written by two discrete people. The first half is, thematically, drivel that is saved only by the author's clear and overwrought appreciation of language. The second half is a good book, but by the time it arrived I'd been so browbeaten by how farcical the first half was written. Xiomara lives in a soundstage version of working class New York City; it's close enough to the real thing that it feels right but its shoddy construction is frequently given away by how little dimensionality exists in this world. It was such a pain to get through and when I finally got to the second half that feels like an actual story that cares about the reader's experience more than showboating the author's ability to stylize, my ability to enjoy it was severely lessened. There's certainly an audience for this, unfortunately I'm not part of it.
December 16, 2025
Pocos libros me han hecho enojar tanto como este. Verdaderamente un libro yanki para yankis (en el peor de los sentidos)
Tenemos una protagonista treintañera que se comporta como una chica de quince, todo lo que hace da vergüenza ajena, es estúpida y se ahoga en un vaso de agua. Además de que durante el libro no hace medio cambio pero la autora se dió que cuenta que era demasiado verguera la historia y trató de en las ultimas cincuenta páginas hacer que esta mujer se rehabilite.
Por otro lado, la historia gira completamente en la muerte de la hermana de ella y cómo no lo puede ni siquiera hablar y que esto mismo hizo que se estanque su carrera musical. Ahora mi grandísimo problema es que ella menciona que en la ciudad de Nueva York ella podía mantener a su familia con su sueldo de cantante pero deja de trabajar y de la nada nunca más puede conseguir un trabajo así. Pero yo digo, lo FAMOSA que tenes que ser para mantener a tu familia siendo cantante en NUEVA YORK y no te quedó ningún contacto para que te metan a hacer coros? Permitime dudar
Y mi problema más grande: la representación borderline burlesca de la gente latina. La protagonista es una “latina” negra que como todo yanki ser latino es que sus papás o abuelos hayan vivido un poco de tiempo en un país de latam. Pero claro, ella tiene que demostrar que es negra latina! Entonces durante todo el libro la mina dice ay olí especias y solo pude pensar en mi madre cocinando en Puerto Rico (nunca estuvo en Puerto Rico) o vi gente bailando y pude sentir que mis raíces vibraban, porque claro el latino solo baila y cocina. Y lo mismo con su lado negro, hay varios momentos donde ella está rodeada de gente blanca y ella sola dice deseo que se suba alguien negro para sentirme segura peeeeero déjate de joder pelotudita. Eso entre miles de cosas así durante el libro que emanaban olor a yanki insoportable.
Y ni siquiera quiero mencionar el final donde ella se hace maestra y es todo tan alejado de la realidad que no podía creer que alguien estuviera escribiendo eso.
Hay libros que no deberían ser publicados
Tenemos una protagonista treintañera que se comporta como una chica de quince, todo lo que hace da vergüenza ajena, es estúpida y se ahoga en un vaso de agua. Además de que durante el libro no hace medio cambio pero la autora se dió que cuenta que era demasiado verguera la historia y trató de en las ultimas cincuenta páginas hacer que esta mujer se rehabilite.
Por otro lado, la historia gira completamente en la muerte de la hermana de ella y cómo no lo puede ni siquiera hablar y que esto mismo hizo que se estanque su carrera musical. Ahora mi grandísimo problema es que ella menciona que en la ciudad de Nueva York ella podía mantener a su familia con su sueldo de cantante pero deja de trabajar y de la nada nunca más puede conseguir un trabajo así. Pero yo digo, lo FAMOSA que tenes que ser para mantener a tu familia siendo cantante en NUEVA YORK y no te quedó ningún contacto para que te metan a hacer coros? Permitime dudar
Y mi problema más grande: la representación borderline burlesca de la gente latina. La protagonista es una “latina” negra que como todo yanki ser latino es que sus papás o abuelos hayan vivido un poco de tiempo en un país de latam. Pero claro, ella tiene que demostrar que es negra latina! Entonces durante todo el libro la mina dice ay olí especias y solo pude pensar en mi madre cocinando en Puerto Rico (nunca estuvo en Puerto Rico) o vi gente bailando y pude sentir que mis raíces vibraban, porque claro el latino solo baila y cocina. Y lo mismo con su lado negro, hay varios momentos donde ella está rodeada de gente blanca y ella sola dice deseo que se suba alguien negro para sentirme segura peeeeero déjate de joder pelotudita. Eso entre miles de cosas así durante el libro que emanaban olor a yanki insoportable.
Y ni siquiera quiero mencionar el final donde ella se hace maestra y es todo tan alejado de la realidad que no podía creer que alguien estuviera escribiendo eso.
Hay libros que no deberían ser publicados
February 24, 2025
I really enjoyed this book.
Xiomara is almost 30. She is living is a small apartment with her ultra catholic mother in Washington Heights. She works at a copy store and also as a waitress. Since she was a child she has dreamed of being on broadway. She was very very close to landing her breakout role when her sister suddenly died. For the past year she has barely been able to function in her grief. This novel is about her coming to terms with the fact that her sister would want her to keep living.
I thought Xiomara was an immature and deeply troubled character. She makes a lot of mistakes trying to land the lead part in a broadway play. It was really interesting to see her blossom and grow as a person. In the beginning of this book I kept thinking that this girl must be 21. She was working two minimum wage jobs barely scraping by and living with her mother. The story telling and character development of this book were superb. I was rooting for Xiomara and hoping that everything worked out for her and her mom.
Thank you to netgalley for a copy of this book.
Xiomara is almost 30. She is living is a small apartment with her ultra catholic mother in Washington Heights. She works at a copy store and also as a waitress. Since she was a child she has dreamed of being on broadway. She was very very close to landing her breakout role when her sister suddenly died. For the past year she has barely been able to function in her grief. This novel is about her coming to terms with the fact that her sister would want her to keep living.
I thought Xiomara was an immature and deeply troubled character. She makes a lot of mistakes trying to land the lead part in a broadway play. It was really interesting to see her blossom and grow as a person. In the beginning of this book I kept thinking that this girl must be 21. She was working two minimum wage jobs barely scraping by and living with her mother. The story telling and character development of this book were superb. I was rooting for Xiomara and hoping that everything worked out for her and her mom.
Thank you to netgalley for a copy of this book.
November 25, 2025
I really enjoyed this book. Xiomara isn't perfect, she's a person that makes a lot of mistakes, but is doing the best that she can as she navigates grief, financial difficulty, finding herself and helping her depressed mother.
I really like how raw and flawed this book was. It was a really nice ride. I flew through it. A great read.
I really like how raw and flawed this book was. It was a really nice ride. I flew through it. A great read.
February 19, 2025
This was a quick read but the story didn’t really speak to me. 29-year-old Xiomara Sanchez is reeling from the death of her sister and has hopes of making it on Broadway while she waits tables at Ellen’s Stardust Diner and works a side job at a printer to make ends meet for her and her mother. I felt for Xiomara; she was dealing with grief and immense financial responsibilities for her and her mother. But while she’s scrappy, I also was annoyed by a lot of her behavior and choices — I thought she was really immature. I also enjoyed the aspiring Broadway performer premise, but I wanted to see even more of Broadway and musicals.
Thank you to Netgalley and OneWorld for this complimentary e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you to Netgalley and OneWorld for this complimentary e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.
September 17, 2025
This is a potent debut from Natalie Guerrero — and a rare instance where I wish a book was longer! She explored so many different elements of Xiomara's life ripping part at the seams and then coming together again, and I wish the novel breathed a little bit more to let those decisions really take shape.
CW: Sexual assault, intimate partner violence
CW: Sexual assault, intimate partner violence
October 27, 2025
I think there was some potential around the topic of grief, and I liked the parts about Xiomara’s Broadway audition. The characters were a complete miss though. Each felt like a caricature, and there is no way Xiomara is pushing 30. Her childishness made this feel more like YA.
June 13, 2026
*2.5 stars
I actually started out liking My Train Leaves at Three much more than I thought I would before the narrative jumped the shark. Even Xiomara's unapologetic sarcasm was initially gratifying.
What drew me in most was the true-to-life snapshot it provided of a slice of (considering there are many) native New Yorker existence. In the case of My Train Leaves at Three, that snapshot encompassed some of the ins and outs as part of not just the city itself but an uptown immigrant community within it. And being raised in Washington Heights, I naturally could relate to and gravitated towards the narrative's various shoutouts and references, including Xiomara identifying as both Black and Latina, which was neither unusual nor contradictory.
In that same vein, I appreciated Guerrero not shying away from depicting unsavory parts of day-to-day life regularly glossed over and ignored (especially in literature) for the sake of a more sanitized, palatable depiction of New York:
Recounting encountering men groping themselves on the subway (39-40)
"I warm up the leftover yellow rice and kill a cockroach and listen to the heater as it chokes behind me." (43)
"Even with I'm still behind on bills. There are student loans from my year at Carnegie Mellon, and ConEd bills and taxes that dance around me while I'm trying to dream. I don't know what I'm going to do about next month! Who knows if I'll even make it to next month! These could be my last living seconds! People die all the time!" (66)
The most prevalent and preferred sanitized version of those New York depictions is the romanticized rags-to-riches trope new arrivals default to. Because native New Yorkers are inherently from a place so many aspire to reach and be, consciously or not, they are often conceptualized as little more than wallpaper as opposed to individual beings that actually comprise it. For this reason, I considered Guerrero centering a native New Yorker pursuing a dream in a local context audacious, as such stories are routinely discounted, dismissed, or just never recounted in favor of the former.
I thought the literal and figurative (in shared Broadway aspirations) juxtaposition of Xiomara with the transplant set while working at NYC's famed Ellen's Stardust Diner (long seen as a whimsical employment mecca of the latter) a unique approach. Guerrero also takes the opportunity to call attention to the insidious gentrification that ensues and goes hand in hand with their arrival:
"Becky moved here from Nevada last year to be on Broadway. She has long red hair and lives in an apartment not too far from my own uptown. She shops at Trader Joe's and complains about how expensive New York City is. I don't think she gets it, what it would be like not to have a stash of cash coming in from Mommy and Daddy." (12)
Irrespective of Xiomara's success or failure as far as her goal, I considered this setup and centering the narrative's core and greatest strength.
Guerrero's included critiques of whiteness are likely to bristle and draw typical criticism, but so many ring true to how it is often discussed and considered in many nonwhite communities:
"For Cassie, experiencing the world is like God-given right. Asking what makes herself happy is her career. Meanwhile, people like me are scrubbing toilets and driving taxis and asking ourselves how in the world we might pay off our debts. That's the biggest difference between us, the thing I envy most. That I see the world like a job, and she sees the world like a vacation." (26)
"There's a particular shame in admitting to white women that you are poor and pathetic. It's like telling them something they already believe, and I want to be the exception not the rule." (47)
Unfortunately, apart from the novel's foundation, it suffers from a great deal of shortcomings. As far as character and narrative development, for example, although we're informed and continuously reminded of Xiomara's love of singing and her dream of a breakout Broadway role, we never do receive background on what exactly drew her to Broadway in particular as opposed to other singing endeavors. Even fundamental experiences that likely contributed to that dream, such as her first time taking in a Broadway performance, why Rent is one of her "favorites" (151), or even her first time being cast in a show, only receive cursory mention if any at all.
This lack of buildout extends to other characters as well, where Guerrero seems to mention significant details about them in passing as though having mentioned them previously, as in the case with Santi:
"I want to ask him if he means back to Providence, with his sister and his aunt. Or maybe he went to Boston to be with his father." (143)
On other occasions, Guerrero simply never mentions relevant details about some included characters at all. With Rory, for example, with whom the book opens as he's , we get no backstory whatsoever (who he is, how they met, etc.), which wouldn't matter much if it were not later revealed that he and Xiomara had been hooking up for the better part of 6 years (229).
Stylistically, the text contains instances of distracting eggcorns and clunky language (particularly in the instances of phrasing that native New Yorkers would never use):
"He moves his hands through his hair and opens his backpack to pull out an army-green-colored water bottle. He takes a big swig and chews it down." (31);
"MTA card" (30);
"I'm on the subway sitting on my pins and needles..." (39);
"I'm afraid if I tell him I'm almost healed he might stop asking, and I like being baby, so I rub my right hand over my left where it used to hurt..." (58);
"I'm like Stella. Just on my way to get back my groove." (63) *an awkwardly worded reference that just didn't land;
"I throw a stray tub of gel eyeliner at Cassie's head..." (89);
"the subway train" (101, 121);
"I lock the door of the bathroom and bite into the palm of my wrist..." (116)
For me, the narrative definitively took a nosedive when Xiomara initially decides to , a deeply troubling event largely glossed over in the text and whose repercussions on the main character are never unpacked. From there, the downwards spiral reaches its pinnacle with the escalation of Xiomara's disturbing interactions with Manny ().
Though on its face easily mistaken for callow, Xiomara's destructive behavior is all the more unsettling and insufferable coming from someone nearing thirty, in spite of the fact that the text attempts to label itself (and thus indirectly attempts to excuse her actions) as a "coming-of-age" novel. In that same vein of age, Xiomara was a doubly bizarre (albeit troublesome) included scene in its infantilization and Xiomara's acceptance of punishment.
The ending as a whole (everything from Xiomara suddenly obtaining ) read as too neatly and conveniently packaged, tied off with a copious amount of unrealistic bows. The only gratifying, believable, and true-to-the text detail of the ending was .
It was especially difficult to reconcile Xiomara one minute saying something like to Guerrero attempting to repackage and pass her off as simply some anomalous, reformed just forty pages later. And even though we're to believe she's washed her hands of was both infuriating and ridiculous. The unrealistic, off base ending is best epitomized in Guerrero's description of Metro North riders as "proper in their tone" and "polite in their tone when you ask them to please make room for your bag" (193), as any reader with actual lived experience riding Metro North are left scratching their heads and thus perceiving Guerrero as severely out of touch.
To say I was disappointed in how My Train Leaves at Three started versus how it progressed and ended is an understatement. Guerrero is a capable writer but her narrative was in desperate need of focus (particularly towards the end) in order to give the story and her characters a viable conclusion they’d been made to work for and that her readers could buy.
Noteworthy lines and passages:
"...Rory moans my name with wonder. Three more times then, sweetly, pronouncing every syllable like it's a dessert. To Rory, I've always been some foreign delicacy. Something to be consumed after dinner." (4)
"Washington Heights is our own little planet, our own little proof of life, and here, we keep one another's secrets." (7)
"Don't do that," she said grabbing my shoulders. "Don't train yourself to jump right out of your joy." I think she got that line from a white lady on a self-help podcast." (10)
"As I push past people, late and with the thick skull of a New Yorker, I am quietly enthralled by their fascination with Times Square. It's the way they drop their jaws like they've never seen a billboard before that gets me. This idea that bright lights and shiny things make something worth looking at permeates every corner of our city." (12)
"Mami said it was a blessing. That God was watching over us all this time. That he'd built us a boat. To me, though, it seems like a curse. To me, it seems like God giveth only to taketh away, and I'd rather not get tangled up inside his dark, twisted web." (18)
"Grief is a wild animal, and today I can feel her crawling all over me." (39)
"My legs start to tingle and the space between my temples turns to cotton." (41)
"It takes another hour and two thousand degrees of heat before Maria hands me a mirror, and I let a sigh out. My hair is flat and falling above my collarbones. It has no personality left in it. She's sucked all the air out." (43)
"Mira!" Mami shouts again, demanding I answer her question. She's in the kitchen now. This tiled floor is our boxing ring."(44)
"I wish Nena hadn't lived so much life so soon." (45)
"We shake on it. His hand lingers on mine, strong, firm, like he might never met go. Mami always said you can judge a man by his handshake. She said Papi's was like a floppy fish, so she should have known." (59)
"When the bells on the door ding, I shift my hips and he lets go of my hand softly, like he's placing down a baby bird who isn't yet ready to fly out of its nest. For Santi, my hands grow feathers." (59)
"The dog is gray and shaggy and looks like it smells wet, like the undercurrent of sand after the shore washes away." (62)
"Finally," the girl says. She's about thirteen and has an attitude, but I fall in love with her anyway. It makes me excited to see inpatient young women. Young women who know exactly what they want exactly when they want it. It's just too bad when I'm on the opposite side of their anger." (62)
"The lights are fluorescent and I'm freezing. Overwhelmed by the competition. Everyone here has a dream. I wonder what exactly makes me think mine is so special." (70)
"At the end, there are just four of us women left, standing in the room, our bodies hot and sweaty and dying to look beautiful while we prance and kick and fight for our lives in here. That's a job assigned to women, I guess. To look like Sunday morning, even amid a mad and wild workweek." (73)
"I feel myself floating in my mediocrity. Dancing is like Spanish to me--I pretend I'm fluent when really I know only enough to smile and get by." (73)
"I forget that sometimes it can be like this, peaceful in New York City. That sometimes in between a night out and a morning after, the subway becomes a liminal space." (75)
"You have to try this," he says. Everything with Manny seems to be in italics, underscored by the drama of his life." (92)
"We hug from the side. He's not yet someone I can wrap both my arms around. I can feel the muscles of his hands tighten around my ribcage. It makes me want to curl up inside them." (96)
"What else?" Santi asks me as our orders arrive..."Nothing else!" I roll my eyes before he tells me that one day there gonna get stuck there in the back of my head like that. There's so much else, though, and I wish I would just say that. That there's always going to be so much under the hood with me." (97)
"That does not make us the same," I say. My body hardens up and I unravel our feet from each other. I've learned that I am bitter when I'm close to shore. Even when I think whatever is coming my way might be my life raft, it's like I don't want to be saved." (98)
"You sure you're okay?" he says as he moves toward me, putting his hands up and around my shoulders to keep me steady. I wish that men would stop asking me that, if I'm okay, like they are qualified to help me recover." (113)
"Why don't you want to get better?" She talks about my dreams like they are a disease." (117)
"It's like she's been waiting for me to hit rock bottom so she can swim down and save me. But it doesn't felt good, being pulled out from the depths of the waters like this. There's still liquid in my chest and the CPR isn't working." (123)
"It never gets old, feeling the depth of her absence in quiet, unexpected moments." (129)
"Coffee," Maria already has it in her hands. She gives it to me gently so I know she has something to say. Maria is never gentle. She is a bull in a china shop with her mouth and opinions." (131)
"I see bubbles popping up and disappearing while he thinks of something more important to say. The reality is I'm not so surprised he's reached out today. Men can smell when someone else has entered the equation." (140)
"Boys don't like to close doors, I hear Nena telling me. They always want to come back around to see if the latch is still open. Santi's simply circling around for the keys." (144)
"I didn't realize you were famous enough for paparazzi," I say, before remembering that a man is only as strong as his ego." (145)
"I think you need something darker to match those ankles." The word darker twists like a snake bite. I know he wants me to feel it." (151)
"I leave cash on the counter for Mami. She'll thank God when she sees it, even though it's from the devil I already sold my soul to." (156)
"I want to remind her the we're not actually living inside a Broadway musical. That the are stakes to my misery." (169)
"Mami swings the door open and takes three steps back. From the hallway, I can see that she is just in from church. I can tell by what she's wearing--a long white dress in silk with velvet gloves and a mesh hat. I've never understood how she mixes textures so successfully. Corduroy and linens, silk and velvet." (171)
"She sits on the couch and crosses all the parts of her body." (171)
"Her silence now is like a dagger or a dare. A daunting, soundless thing, dangling in front of me." (172)
"The phone rings twice before I'm sent to voicemail. The butterflies in my belly turn to mammoth moths..." (199)
"I love old souls in tiny bodies. I wonder how many lives they've lived before." (208)
"She holds up a piece of paper and stares at me with resentment like we're part of a group project and I'm the dead limb not pulling my weight but still getting an A." (230)
I actually started out liking My Train Leaves at Three much more than I thought I would before the narrative jumped the shark. Even Xiomara's unapologetic sarcasm was initially gratifying.
What drew me in most was the true-to-life snapshot it provided of a slice of (considering there are many) native New Yorker existence. In the case of My Train Leaves at Three, that snapshot encompassed some of the ins and outs as part of not just the city itself but an uptown immigrant community within it. And being raised in Washington Heights, I naturally could relate to and gravitated towards the narrative's various shoutouts and references, including Xiomara identifying as both Black and Latina, which was neither unusual nor contradictory.
In that same vein, I appreciated Guerrero not shying away from depicting unsavory parts of day-to-day life regularly glossed over and ignored (especially in literature) for the sake of a more sanitized, palatable depiction of New York:
Recounting encountering men groping themselves on the subway (39-40)
"I warm up the leftover yellow rice and kill a cockroach and listen to the heater as it chokes behind me." (43)
"Even with I'm still behind on bills. There are student loans from my year at Carnegie Mellon, and ConEd bills and taxes that dance around me while I'm trying to dream. I don't know what I'm going to do about next month! Who knows if I'll even make it to next month! These could be my last living seconds! People die all the time!" (66)
The most prevalent and preferred sanitized version of those New York depictions is the romanticized rags-to-riches trope new arrivals default to. Because native New Yorkers are inherently from a place so many aspire to reach and be, consciously or not, they are often conceptualized as little more than wallpaper as opposed to individual beings that actually comprise it. For this reason, I considered Guerrero centering a native New Yorker pursuing a dream in a local context audacious, as such stories are routinely discounted, dismissed, or just never recounted in favor of the former.
I thought the literal and figurative (in shared Broadway aspirations) juxtaposition of Xiomara with the transplant set while working at NYC's famed Ellen's Stardust Diner (long seen as a whimsical employment mecca of the latter) a unique approach. Guerrero also takes the opportunity to call attention to the insidious gentrification that ensues and goes hand in hand with their arrival:
"Becky moved here from Nevada last year to be on Broadway. She has long red hair and lives in an apartment not too far from my own uptown. She shops at Trader Joe's and complains about how expensive New York City is. I don't think she gets it, what it would be like not to have a stash of cash coming in from Mommy and Daddy." (12)
Irrespective of Xiomara's success or failure as far as her goal, I considered this setup and centering the narrative's core and greatest strength.
Guerrero's included critiques of whiteness are likely to bristle and draw typical criticism, but so many ring true to how it is often discussed and considered in many nonwhite communities:
"For Cassie, experiencing the world is like God-given right. Asking what makes herself happy is her career. Meanwhile, people like me are scrubbing toilets and driving taxis and asking ourselves how in the world we might pay off our debts. That's the biggest difference between us, the thing I envy most. That I see the world like a job, and she sees the world like a vacation." (26)
"There's a particular shame in admitting to white women that you are poor and pathetic. It's like telling them something they already believe, and I want to be the exception not the rule." (47)
Unfortunately, apart from the novel's foundation, it suffers from a great deal of shortcomings. As far as character and narrative development, for example, although we're informed and continuously reminded of Xiomara's love of singing and her dream of a breakout Broadway role, we never do receive background on what exactly drew her to Broadway in particular as opposed to other singing endeavors. Even fundamental experiences that likely contributed to that dream, such as her first time taking in a Broadway performance, why Rent is one of her "favorites" (151), or even her first time being cast in a show, only receive cursory mention if any at all.
This lack of buildout extends to other characters as well, where Guerrero seems to mention significant details about them in passing as though having mentioned them previously, as in the case with Santi:
"I want to ask him if he means back to Providence, with his sister and his aunt. Or maybe he went to Boston to be with his father." (143)
On other occasions, Guerrero simply never mentions relevant details about some included characters at all. With Rory, for example, with whom the book opens as he's , we get no backstory whatsoever (who he is, how they met, etc.), which wouldn't matter much if it were not later revealed that he and Xiomara had been hooking up for the better part of 6 years (229).
Stylistically, the text contains instances of distracting eggcorns and clunky language (particularly in the instances of phrasing that native New Yorkers would never use):
"He moves his hands through his hair and opens his backpack to pull out an army-green-colored water bottle. He takes a big swig and chews it down." (31);
"MTA card" (30);
"I'm on the subway sitting on my pins and needles..." (39);
"I'm afraid if I tell him I'm almost healed he might stop asking, and I like being baby, so I rub my right hand over my left where it used to hurt..." (58);
"I'm like Stella. Just on my way to get back my groove." (63) *an awkwardly worded reference that just didn't land;
"I throw a stray tub of gel eyeliner at Cassie's head..." (89);
"the subway train" (101, 121);
"I lock the door of the bathroom and bite into the palm of my wrist..." (116)
For me, the narrative definitively took a nosedive when Xiomara initially decides to , a deeply troubling event largely glossed over in the text and whose repercussions on the main character are never unpacked. From there, the downwards spiral reaches its pinnacle with the escalation of Xiomara's disturbing interactions with Manny ().
Though on its face easily mistaken for callow, Xiomara's destructive behavior is all the more unsettling and insufferable coming from someone nearing thirty, in spite of the fact that the text attempts to label itself (and thus indirectly attempts to excuse her actions) as a "coming-of-age" novel. In that same vein of age, Xiomara was a doubly bizarre (albeit troublesome) included scene in its infantilization and Xiomara's acceptance of punishment.
The ending as a whole (everything from Xiomara suddenly obtaining ) read as too neatly and conveniently packaged, tied off with a copious amount of unrealistic bows. The only gratifying, believable, and true-to-the text detail of the ending was .
It was especially difficult to reconcile Xiomara one minute saying something like to Guerrero attempting to repackage and pass her off as simply some anomalous, reformed just forty pages later. And even though we're to believe she's washed her hands of was both infuriating and ridiculous. The unrealistic, off base ending is best epitomized in Guerrero's description of Metro North riders as "proper in their tone" and "polite in their tone when you ask them to please make room for your bag" (193), as any reader with actual lived experience riding Metro North are left scratching their heads and thus perceiving Guerrero as severely out of touch.
To say I was disappointed in how My Train Leaves at Three started versus how it progressed and ended is an understatement. Guerrero is a capable writer but her narrative was in desperate need of focus (particularly towards the end) in order to give the story and her characters a viable conclusion they’d been made to work for and that her readers could buy.
Noteworthy lines and passages:
"...Rory moans my name with wonder. Three more times then, sweetly, pronouncing every syllable like it's a dessert. To Rory, I've always been some foreign delicacy. Something to be consumed after dinner." (4)
"Washington Heights is our own little planet, our own little proof of life, and here, we keep one another's secrets." (7)
"Don't do that," she said grabbing my shoulders. "Don't train yourself to jump right out of your joy." I think she got that line from a white lady on a self-help podcast." (10)
"As I push past people, late and with the thick skull of a New Yorker, I am quietly enthralled by their fascination with Times Square. It's the way they drop their jaws like they've never seen a billboard before that gets me. This idea that bright lights and shiny things make something worth looking at permeates every corner of our city." (12)
"Mami said it was a blessing. That God was watching over us all this time. That he'd built us a boat. To me, though, it seems like a curse. To me, it seems like God giveth only to taketh away, and I'd rather not get tangled up inside his dark, twisted web." (18)
"Grief is a wild animal, and today I can feel her crawling all over me." (39)
"My legs start to tingle and the space between my temples turns to cotton." (41)
"It takes another hour and two thousand degrees of heat before Maria hands me a mirror, and I let a sigh out. My hair is flat and falling above my collarbones. It has no personality left in it. She's sucked all the air out." (43)
"Mira!" Mami shouts again, demanding I answer her question. She's in the kitchen now. This tiled floor is our boxing ring."(44)
"I wish Nena hadn't lived so much life so soon." (45)
"We shake on it. His hand lingers on mine, strong, firm, like he might never met go. Mami always said you can judge a man by his handshake. She said Papi's was like a floppy fish, so she should have known." (59)
"When the bells on the door ding, I shift my hips and he lets go of my hand softly, like he's placing down a baby bird who isn't yet ready to fly out of its nest. For Santi, my hands grow feathers." (59)
"The dog is gray and shaggy and looks like it smells wet, like the undercurrent of sand after the shore washes away." (62)
"Finally," the girl says. She's about thirteen and has an attitude, but I fall in love with her anyway. It makes me excited to see inpatient young women. Young women who know exactly what they want exactly when they want it. It's just too bad when I'm on the opposite side of their anger." (62)
"The lights are fluorescent and I'm freezing. Overwhelmed by the competition. Everyone here has a dream. I wonder what exactly makes me think mine is so special." (70)
"At the end, there are just four of us women left, standing in the room, our bodies hot and sweaty and dying to look beautiful while we prance and kick and fight for our lives in here. That's a job assigned to women, I guess. To look like Sunday morning, even amid a mad and wild workweek." (73)
"I feel myself floating in my mediocrity. Dancing is like Spanish to me--I pretend I'm fluent when really I know only enough to smile and get by." (73)
"I forget that sometimes it can be like this, peaceful in New York City. That sometimes in between a night out and a morning after, the subway becomes a liminal space." (75)
"You have to try this," he says. Everything with Manny seems to be in italics, underscored by the drama of his life." (92)
"We hug from the side. He's not yet someone I can wrap both my arms around. I can feel the muscles of his hands tighten around my ribcage. It makes me want to curl up inside them." (96)
"What else?" Santi asks me as our orders arrive..."Nothing else!" I roll my eyes before he tells me that one day there gonna get stuck there in the back of my head like that. There's so much else, though, and I wish I would just say that. That there's always going to be so much under the hood with me." (97)
"That does not make us the same," I say. My body hardens up and I unravel our feet from each other. I've learned that I am bitter when I'm close to shore. Even when I think whatever is coming my way might be my life raft, it's like I don't want to be saved." (98)
"You sure you're okay?" he says as he moves toward me, putting his hands up and around my shoulders to keep me steady. I wish that men would stop asking me that, if I'm okay, like they are qualified to help me recover." (113)
"Why don't you want to get better?" She talks about my dreams like they are a disease." (117)
"It's like she's been waiting for me to hit rock bottom so she can swim down and save me. But it doesn't felt good, being pulled out from the depths of the waters like this. There's still liquid in my chest and the CPR isn't working." (123)
"It never gets old, feeling the depth of her absence in quiet, unexpected moments." (129)
"Coffee," Maria already has it in her hands. She gives it to me gently so I know she has something to say. Maria is never gentle. She is a bull in a china shop with her mouth and opinions." (131)
"I see bubbles popping up and disappearing while he thinks of something more important to say. The reality is I'm not so surprised he's reached out today. Men can smell when someone else has entered the equation." (140)
"Boys don't like to close doors, I hear Nena telling me. They always want to come back around to see if the latch is still open. Santi's simply circling around for the keys." (144)
"I didn't realize you were famous enough for paparazzi," I say, before remembering that a man is only as strong as his ego." (145)
"I think you need something darker to match those ankles." The word darker twists like a snake bite. I know he wants me to feel it." (151)
"I leave cash on the counter for Mami. She'll thank God when she sees it, even though it's from the devil I already sold my soul to." (156)
"I want to remind her the we're not actually living inside a Broadway musical. That the are stakes to my misery." (169)
"Mami swings the door open and takes three steps back. From the hallway, I can see that she is just in from church. I can tell by what she's wearing--a long white dress in silk with velvet gloves and a mesh hat. I've never understood how she mixes textures so successfully. Corduroy and linens, silk and velvet." (171)
"She sits on the couch and crosses all the parts of her body." (171)
"Her silence now is like a dagger or a dare. A daunting, soundless thing, dangling in front of me." (172)
"The phone rings twice before I'm sent to voicemail. The butterflies in my belly turn to mammoth moths..." (199)
"I love old souls in tiny bodies. I wonder how many lives they've lived before." (208)
"She holds up a piece of paper and stares at me with resentment like we're part of a group project and I'm the dead limb not pulling my weight but still getting an A." (230)
July 15, 2025
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for my e-arc. These are my own opinions.
This book came into my life at the perfect time. Although I haven't had the exact same experiences as Xiomara, this novel made me feel incredibly seen. As a Latina who also loves and works in theatre, it meant the world to see us represented in that field. Despite how it may seem, we do exist (and even thrive!) in these industries. Even moreso, as a native New Yorker, this book was so specifically NYC that I found myself nodding along with Xiomara when she made her complaints or gave her love to this city. This is a book that is going to stick with me for a long time.
The novel takes a little bit to get going, but once it does it's impossible to put down. You won't always agree with Xiomara's choices, but that makes her all the more real. It forces you to examine your own ideas about who deserves love, what success means, and how we show up for ourselves. The exploration of grief was done incredibly well, and with a lot of care. I'm so impressed that this is Natalie Guerrero's debut, and I can't wait to see what she does next.
This book came into my life at the perfect time. Although I haven't had the exact same experiences as Xiomara, this novel made me feel incredibly seen. As a Latina who also loves and works in theatre, it meant the world to see us represented in that field. Despite how it may seem, we do exist (and even thrive!) in these industries. Even moreso, as a native New Yorker, this book was so specifically NYC that I found myself nodding along with Xiomara when she made her complaints or gave her love to this city. This is a book that is going to stick with me for a long time.
The novel takes a little bit to get going, but once it does it's impossible to put down. You won't always agree with Xiomara's choices, but that makes her all the more real. It forces you to examine your own ideas about who deserves love, what success means, and how we show up for ourselves. The exploration of grief was done incredibly well, and with a lot of care. I'm so impressed that this is Natalie Guerrero's debut, and I can't wait to see what she does next.
December 30, 2025
Unexpected five star review at the end of the year!!
February 17, 2026
A story that is real and ugly but heartfelt. Good book
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