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The Flourishing Family: A Jesus-Centered Guide to Parenting with Peace and Purpose
When it comes to Christian parenting, we crave confidence, wisdom, and―most of all―peace.
We pray for peace when our little ones are tossed about by waves of emotions, for connection and confidence when navigating stressful mornings and exhausting nights, and for wisdom in knowing how best to discipline our kids. As Christian parents, we’re desperate to “get it right,” to raise our children to be strong, courageous followers of Jesus―and yet, despite the overload of endless advice at our fingertips, we often feel completely and utterly lost.
You can become the parent Christ has called you to be―and change your home and family from the inside out. In The Flourishing Family, Dr. David and Amanda Erickson offer a new parenting perspective―one that cultivates peace, gentleness, and confidence. Deeply rooted in Scripture and backed by modern neuroscience as well as insight into child development, their book will equip you to
rethink common assumptions about what the Bible says about parenting―and align your parenting approach with the teachings of Jesus and your identity in Him, cultivate the inner peace needed to lead and guide your family with Christ, and His grace, at the center, critically assess various gentle parenting principles through a Gospel lens so that you can respond to your child with understanding and patience, honoring the divine image and unique personality God created them to have, and use compassionate discipline as discipleship to focus on the heart behind your child’s actions, addressing the developmental or neurological roots of their behavior rather than merely correcting or punishing their actions or choices. Your legacy is not defined by your parenting perfection but by your commitment to follow in the way of Jesus and to trust His Spirit to cultivate the seeds you’re diligently planting throughout your children’s lives. Trust that He will meet you in this audiobook―and that He will transform your hearts and home.
We pray for peace when our little ones are tossed about by waves of emotions, for connection and confidence when navigating stressful mornings and exhausting nights, and for wisdom in knowing how best to discipline our kids. As Christian parents, we’re desperate to “get it right,” to raise our children to be strong, courageous followers of Jesus―and yet, despite the overload of endless advice at our fingertips, we often feel completely and utterly lost.
You can become the parent Christ has called you to be―and change your home and family from the inside out. In The Flourishing Family, Dr. David and Amanda Erickson offer a new parenting perspective―one that cultivates peace, gentleness, and confidence. Deeply rooted in Scripture and backed by modern neuroscience as well as insight into child development, their book will equip you to
rethink common assumptions about what the Bible says about parenting―and align your parenting approach with the teachings of Jesus and your identity in Him, cultivate the inner peace needed to lead and guide your family with Christ, and His grace, at the center, critically assess various gentle parenting principles through a Gospel lens so that you can respond to your child with understanding and patience, honoring the divine image and unique personality God created them to have, and use compassionate discipline as discipleship to focus on the heart behind your child’s actions, addressing the developmental or neurological roots of their behavior rather than merely correcting or punishing their actions or choices. Your legacy is not defined by your parenting perfection but by your commitment to follow in the way of Jesus and to trust His Spirit to cultivate the seeds you’re diligently planting throughout your children’s lives. Trust that He will meet you in this audiobook―and that He will transform your hearts and home.
Audible Audio
Published September 17, 2024
370 people are currently reading
2025 people want to read
About the author
David Erickson
2 booksDavid Erickson longs to see God’s people recognize that how we live our faith imparts theology to others. Nothing brings this into sharper focus than parenting as our daily lives constantly disciple those who know us best. David previously served as a pastor and spent fourteen years as a theology professor at a Baptist seminary. In 2023 he became president of Jacksonville College, where he guides the faculty and staff in preparing students to lead Jesus-centered lives that transform churches, communities, and the world.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 185 reviews
January 26, 2025
While I appreciate many ideas and principles presented in these pages, the lack of a strong, biblical foundation was disappointing.
Pros:
-Their discussion on being made in the image of God.
-They acknowledge the realities of sin and our fallen world. (This isn’t until the second half of the book, so the layout is confusing.)
-They share some examples and ideas that may be helpful if you already have a strong foundation of biblical parenting.
-They mention the value of ALL life, including unborn children in the womb.
-They place a high value on connection with children.
-They have a heart for children and families to thrive.
-The authors rightly encourage looking beyond misbehavior and seeking the heart. They rightly desire to go beyond merely managing behavior.
Cons:
-While they discuss Jesus and His example, they do not present the full gospel.
-The tagline for the book is “A Jesus-centered guide to parenting with peace and purpose.” However, rather than being built on a solid foundation of who Christ is, they discuss Jesus then move on to navigating behavior and problem-solving apart from the truths of scripture.
-The tone of the book is very arrogant at times.
-The authors rightly acknowledge that children are made in God’s image and are worthy of dignity, honor, and, respect. However, they over-share examples of their own children in a way that does not honor nor respect them. They share their childrens’ weaknesses, mistakes, and sins. (There is even an incredibly unkind commentary on how their child smelled.) Children are not content and they cannot give informed consent to have their stories shared. While it can be helpful to give examples of principles in a parenting book, this must be done in a way that honors each child.
While much of their teaching sounds good on the surface- they discuss Jesus and quote Scripture- it falls short of the rich truths of the Bible.
For example, they discuss modeling Jesus and His love and connection. However, there is no discussion of the gospel: the good news that Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man, came to die on the cross for our sin. That through his perfect life, death, burial, resurrection, and ascension, we can come to Him: we can be redeemed and made new in Christ. God made us in His image. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Through the blood of Christ we can receive forgiveness and be redeemed. This eternal life is only found in Christ.
These redemptive truths should deeply affect our Christian parenting. Mistakes, sins, and conflict are all opportunities to look to the cross and the redemptive work of Jesus Christ. While ideas and tools to navigate misbehavior and conflict are incredibly helpful, we must first have a solid foundation of God and His Word.
Also, while discussing abiding in Christ, the authors state this is “resting in who he made us to be.” However, abiding in Christ means to rest in Christ Himself. While we prayerfully abide in Christ and seek to grow into who God made us to be, this is in His strength and not our own. This may seem like a small difference, but it reveals a larger concern: the book seems more concerned with behavior management than Christ Himself.
If a parent or educator already has a strong biblical foundation for their parenting, they may benefit from some of the ideas presented in this book. There are some good thoughts, ideas, and principles. They do an excellent job discussing the high value of children and how we are made in God’s image. They rightly prioritize the value of connecting with our children.
However, due to the lack of a strong, biblical foundation, I would not recommend this for all families.
Pros:
-Their discussion on being made in the image of God.
-They acknowledge the realities of sin and our fallen world. (This isn’t until the second half of the book, so the layout is confusing.)
-They share some examples and ideas that may be helpful if you already have a strong foundation of biblical parenting.
-They mention the value of ALL life, including unborn children in the womb.
-They place a high value on connection with children.
-They have a heart for children and families to thrive.
-The authors rightly encourage looking beyond misbehavior and seeking the heart. They rightly desire to go beyond merely managing behavior.
Cons:
-While they discuss Jesus and His example, they do not present the full gospel.
-The tagline for the book is “A Jesus-centered guide to parenting with peace and purpose.” However, rather than being built on a solid foundation of who Christ is, they discuss Jesus then move on to navigating behavior and problem-solving apart from the truths of scripture.
-The tone of the book is very arrogant at times.
-The authors rightly acknowledge that children are made in God’s image and are worthy of dignity, honor, and, respect. However, they over-share examples of their own children in a way that does not honor nor respect them. They share their childrens’ weaknesses, mistakes, and sins. (There is even an incredibly unkind commentary on how their child smelled.) Children are not content and they cannot give informed consent to have their stories shared. While it can be helpful to give examples of principles in a parenting book, this must be done in a way that honors each child.
While much of their teaching sounds good on the surface- they discuss Jesus and quote Scripture- it falls short of the rich truths of the Bible.
For example, they discuss modeling Jesus and His love and connection. However, there is no discussion of the gospel: the good news that Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man, came to die on the cross for our sin. That through his perfect life, death, burial, resurrection, and ascension, we can come to Him: we can be redeemed and made new in Christ. God made us in His image. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Through the blood of Christ we can receive forgiveness and be redeemed. This eternal life is only found in Christ.
These redemptive truths should deeply affect our Christian parenting. Mistakes, sins, and conflict are all opportunities to look to the cross and the redemptive work of Jesus Christ. While ideas and tools to navigate misbehavior and conflict are incredibly helpful, we must first have a solid foundation of God and His Word.
Also, while discussing abiding in Christ, the authors state this is “resting in who he made us to be.” However, abiding in Christ means to rest in Christ Himself. While we prayerfully abide in Christ and seek to grow into who God made us to be, this is in His strength and not our own. This may seem like a small difference, but it reveals a larger concern: the book seems more concerned with behavior management than Christ Himself.
If a parent or educator already has a strong biblical foundation for their parenting, they may benefit from some of the ideas presented in this book. There are some good thoughts, ideas, and principles. They do an excellent job discussing the high value of children and how we are made in God’s image. They rightly prioritize the value of connecting with our children.
However, due to the lack of a strong, biblical foundation, I would not recommend this for all families.
August 30, 2024
About 3 years ago, I felt convicted to radically change some things about how we were parenting our children. At the time, I struggled to find face to face community with people who were on the same page. Enter Amanda and David Erickson. Through their social media accounts and blogs, I found a wealth of information that was both theologically robust and backed by neuroscience. This book is a collection of that information, laid out in an easy to read and implement format. The Ericksons do a great job of combining personal anecdotes, data, and theological study. If you are a Christian parent looking for resources to help with shifting away from punitive parenting, this is the best and most comprehensive resource you will find.
September 9, 2024
So thankful for this book. I think this may be one of my favorite parenting books ever. I was so encouraged by it and the gospel focus as well and developmental understanding were a huge blessing. I felt validated and seen as well as convicted.
I recommend that if you are in a place of “I don’t know if how I’ve been parenting is right but I don’t know what to do instead”, get this book. And follow Flourishing Homes & Families on social media. They seek to be faithful to scripture which I am so thankful for, and see parenting through the lens of the gospel and the love of God, not a formula driven or prosperity gospel perspective.
I recommend that if you are in a place of “I don’t know if how I’ve been parenting is right but I don’t know what to do instead”, get this book. And follow Flourishing Homes & Families on social media. They seek to be faithful to scripture which I am so thankful for, and see parenting through the lens of the gospel and the love of God, not a formula driven or prosperity gospel perspective.
June 3, 2025
I felt through much of this book that the standard set is out of my reach. Many of the chapters left me feeling guilty for my lack of patience and kindness. But overall, there is so much value in the idea of modeling our parenting after Christ. I want modeling Christ to be my goal in all my relationships, including my parenting. I also appreciated a lot of the final chapter. At the end they chose to emphasize our goal of teaching our children about God and what Jesus has done for us.
“This is the legacy of peace that we’re leaving our children: an acceptance that while we don’t have all the answers and can’t always get it right, even in our imperfections we cling to and deeply trust the One who is perfect.”
“This is the legacy of peace that we’re leaving our children: an acceptance that while we don’t have all the answers and can’t always get it right, even in our imperfections we cling to and deeply trust the One who is perfect.”
September 5, 2024
I don’t know if I’m the only Christian mom who has felt this way, but when my first child reached the age when we needed to start thinking about discipline, I REALLY struggled with how that ought to look in our family.
On the one hand, you have science. A rapidly growing body of studies in psychology and neuroscience that all seem to conclude that traditional punishment may be more harmful than we realize. That fear-based discipline actually hinders our children’s ability to learn the lessons we’re trying to teach. That repeatedly inflicting pain and shame to control our children’s behavior can deeply hurt our attachments with them, costing us their trust and our position of influence as they enter the even more challenging years of adolescence.
On the other hand, you have Christian tradition. Church leaders who teach that the Bible says you must spank your children, or you aren’t really loving them. That you need to use pain and shame to teach them about sin. That you need to require them to obey you now so that they will later obey God.
If you’ve ever struggled with this tension… do yourself a favor and read this book!!!
I’ve actually sat under David and Amanda Erickson’s virtual mentorship for about a year now. I was SO excited when they announced they were going to publish a book, and I have not been disappointed as I’ve listened to an early release audiobook version.
They do such a beautiful job of examining what the Bible actually teaches about parenting and discipline. They uphold the authority of Scripture. Yet they also acknowledge what God has allowed us to learn through neuroscience about how He has designed childhood development, and how we can use this information to better guide, disciple, equip, and love our children through their growing up years.
They call parents to a huge mindset shift and commitment to Spirit-led growth that is much more challenging than “traditional discipline” - yet also infinitely more freeing, hope-filled, and in harmony with the overarching teachings of Scripture. They cast a fresh vision of what it looks like to walk in the footsteps of Jesus as we parent, growing in grace and truth.
This is one of those books I will return to again and again through my parenting journey, and I pray that many other Christian parents find their way to this resource too.
On the one hand, you have science. A rapidly growing body of studies in psychology and neuroscience that all seem to conclude that traditional punishment may be more harmful than we realize. That fear-based discipline actually hinders our children’s ability to learn the lessons we’re trying to teach. That repeatedly inflicting pain and shame to control our children’s behavior can deeply hurt our attachments with them, costing us their trust and our position of influence as they enter the even more challenging years of adolescence.
On the other hand, you have Christian tradition. Church leaders who teach that the Bible says you must spank your children, or you aren’t really loving them. That you need to use pain and shame to teach them about sin. That you need to require them to obey you now so that they will later obey God.
If you’ve ever struggled with this tension… do yourself a favor and read this book!!!
I’ve actually sat under David and Amanda Erickson’s virtual mentorship for about a year now. I was SO excited when they announced they were going to publish a book, and I have not been disappointed as I’ve listened to an early release audiobook version.
They do such a beautiful job of examining what the Bible actually teaches about parenting and discipline. They uphold the authority of Scripture. Yet they also acknowledge what God has allowed us to learn through neuroscience about how He has designed childhood development, and how we can use this information to better guide, disciple, equip, and love our children through their growing up years.
They call parents to a huge mindset shift and commitment to Spirit-led growth that is much more challenging than “traditional discipline” - yet also infinitely more freeing, hope-filled, and in harmony with the overarching teachings of Scripture. They cast a fresh vision of what it looks like to walk in the footsteps of Jesus as we parent, growing in grace and truth.
This is one of those books I will return to again and again through my parenting journey, and I pray that many other Christian parents find their way to this resource too.
September 6, 2024
What a great resource for learning about the science of children’s behaviors and WHY they happen. I have been looking for His guidance with parenting for the past year and THIS👏🏼IS👏🏼IT👏🏼. I have 8 years of experience in education and behaviors have never been explained to me on this level. So many practical tips, relatable scenarios, and ‘aha’ moments. You really feel like Amanda and David are right there, lovingly coaching you through your parenting battles. I hope everyone who works with kids or has kids of their own, has the opportunity to read this book.
September 4, 2024
This book is SO needed for this day and this generation of parents - of families!
September 10, 2024
The Flourishing Family is already having an impact on my family. When my oldest children were young, we were gentle parents-in-training and worked hard to raise our girls against the norm. Through a multi-year challenging season, our parenting unfortunately shifted and we got lost in the stress. Determined to get back to where we were, I was so happy to find this book! It has reawakened the parts of me that so desperately desire to raise our youngest children as their older siblings were, and taught me things I didn’t even know the first time around. The authors use modern science, God’s word, and their own experience to bring this wonderful concept to life in this book. It is easy to understand and the real life examples are a great starting point for our family. This is an excellent resource for new parents, grandparents, childcare workers-anyone who interacts with children, and truly even adults can benefit from the wisdom here in dealing with one another.
March 6, 2025
I like when I find a source that pulls together some of the separate (somewhat niche) subjects I’m interested in and connects them well. For me this book connects or touches on several different topics that were always presented separately over the past years, including: the stress response cycle and how that plays out in parent/child interactions, emotional regulation/coaching, appropriate developmental expectations for children, TBRI (trust based relational intervention), attachment theory, and faith centered parenting perspectives.
While there were topics I wish it elaborated on more, (and others I wish they elaborated on less) I still enjoyed finding at least passing references to each topic that I’ve found most helpful, educational, and perspective changing.
While there were topics I wish it elaborated on more, (and others I wish they elaborated on less) I still enjoyed finding at least passing references to each topic that I’ve found most helpful, educational, and perspective changing.
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July 23, 2025I'm not going to give this book a star rating because I feel very conflicted. On one hand, I loved the hearts of these two parents and some of the wonderful advice they give. On the other hand, I feel like they were deeply misguided/lacked understanding or the experience of years (they are still parents of young children) to really be talking about the results like they were.
First off, I just have to say that a lot of this book didn't ring true because of personal experience. I grew up in a very loving home with parents who worked to teach us how to solve problems on our own. Their goal was not to have us mindlessly obey them, but to love and trust them. They also spanked us in our early years (I think the oldest any of us got a spanking was five), and they did enforce what this book would call punitive punishments.
My parents got some stuff wrong. They weren't perfect. I plan to do some things differently. But here is one of the big things they said, did, and got right: They often told people (and did it when no one was watching) that their goal was to make 90% of their interactions with their children positive and loving, even on bad days. If discipline was 10% or less of their interaction with us, and they focused most on their energy on giving us loving, fun interactions, we would know we were loved and safe.
My parents weren't the ones doling out spankings or punishments; they were my loving parents who sometimes dealt out our needed punishment.
This book made a lot of sweeping statements that just didn't ring true because of my background. I also felt very uncomfortable with how they handled scripture at times. It was more like they were interpreting it to align with modern gentle parenting wisdom instead of using some of the wonderful wisdom that gentle parenting/modern science has to offer (because I truly believe it does) and seeing if it aligns with scripture.
Can I also say, as someone who has worked with kids for years, I kept trying to figure out how in the world a lot of this would be applied practically. I assume that since they have an online (paid) mentoring program, that is where they share a lot of the practical tips. Some of the ideas in here were good, but there were a lot of statements on how to do things that made me scratch my head and go: "And how does that practically look when your one-year-old is fighting a diaper change or when your two-year-old is throwing his food?"
Was their wisdom to be gained from this book? I think there was. I think it has made me curious if there are some better, actually biblical books that talk a lot more practically about gentle parenting; ones that don't make a lot of sweeping, ill-founded statements about families who choose differently.
First off, I just have to say that a lot of this book didn't ring true because of personal experience. I grew up in a very loving home with parents who worked to teach us how to solve problems on our own. Their goal was not to have us mindlessly obey them, but to love and trust them. They also spanked us in our early years (I think the oldest any of us got a spanking was five), and they did enforce what this book would call punitive punishments.
My parents got some stuff wrong. They weren't perfect. I plan to do some things differently. But here is one of the big things they said, did, and got right: They often told people (and did it when no one was watching) that their goal was to make 90% of their interactions with their children positive and loving, even on bad days. If discipline was 10% or less of their interaction with us, and they focused most on their energy on giving us loving, fun interactions, we would know we were loved and safe.
My parents weren't the ones doling out spankings or punishments; they were my loving parents who sometimes dealt out our needed punishment.
This book made a lot of sweeping statements that just didn't ring true because of my background. I also felt very uncomfortable with how they handled scripture at times. It was more like they were interpreting it to align with modern gentle parenting wisdom instead of using some of the wonderful wisdom that gentle parenting/modern science has to offer (because I truly believe it does) and seeing if it aligns with scripture.
Can I also say, as someone who has worked with kids for years, I kept trying to figure out how in the world a lot of this would be applied practically. I assume that since they have an online (paid) mentoring program, that is where they share a lot of the practical tips. Some of the ideas in here were good, but there were a lot of statements on how to do things that made me scratch my head and go: "And how does that practically look when your one-year-old is fighting a diaper change or when your two-year-old is throwing his food?"
Was their wisdom to be gained from this book? I think there was. I think it has made me curious if there are some better, actually biblical books that talk a lot more practically about gentle parenting; ones that don't make a lot of sweeping, ill-founded statements about families who choose differently.
June 16, 2025
Really great ideas and focus on parents dealing with their own impatience and need for control. The emphasis is on kids being treated well, with integrity, with respect, and like other human beings. All things in moderation, I know they are not promoting control-less parenting and rather seeking to get rid of extreme punitive parenting, but I found myself wrestling through some of it. There is an emphasis on discipline as discipleship versus demanding obedience. Which I agree with, but there also needs to be balance. They have their kids wait to apologize/make something right when they are ready to. Other parents have their kids practice it right away because actions help our hearts to follow. Both require wisdom to know what is best for what kid and what circumstances. They use examples where Jesus is kind and generous in the face of sin, but do not mention the times when God warns his people and tells them the consequences of what will happen if they do not obey. A good book to wrestle through but IMO also to be read with a grain of salt!
March 29, 2025
3.5 ⭐️ rounded up. Audiobook. Pretty standard gentle parenting stuff for littler kids. If you’ve read anything else on the topic, there’s nothing new here.
August 1, 2025
Discipline 👏as 👏discipleship 👏
David & Amanda splendidly weave Scripture and theology together with the practical everydayness of parenting. 1,000/10 recommend.
This book was so timely and is one I’ll revisit frequently.
David & Amanda splendidly weave Scripture and theology together with the practical everydayness of parenting. 1,000/10 recommend.
This book was so timely and is one I’ll revisit frequently.
September 13, 2024
Half way done and one of the best parenting books I’ve ever read!
One of the things I appreciate the most is each chapter has suggestions of how to practically do these things. Also every chapter seems to be exactly the things my family wants to change and do better. I love the scripture references along with the science that backs child development.
One of the things I appreciate the most is each chapter has suggestions of how to practically do these things. Also every chapter seems to be exactly the things my family wants to change and do better. I love the scripture references along with the science that backs child development.
October 6, 2024
There is some really good stuff in here, and the Ericksons obviously love Jesus and want to help kids know and love him too. Many of these principles are solid for helping create healthy relationships between siblings, but they are so myopic in their resistance to punitive discipline of any kind, so much so that they do exegetical backflips to avoid committing to what the Bible says about discipline being loving and good, even if it is punitive.
The bad stuff is implying that because we don’t perfectly or immediately obey God as parents that we should lower the bar for our kids. They also decided they didn’t want to use punitive discipline because it didn’t work with their kids, then went and searched for alternatives that they could retrofit using scripture.
We should be calm and grace-filled in disciplining our kids, but we can’t do that fully using the methods outlined in this book.
The bad stuff is implying that because we don’t perfectly or immediately obey God as parents that we should lower the bar for our kids. They also decided they didn’t want to use punitive discipline because it didn’t work with their kids, then went and searched for alternatives that they could retrofit using scripture.
We should be calm and grace-filled in disciplining our kids, but we can’t do that fully using the methods outlined in this book.
August 18, 2025
Highly recommend following this ministry on Instagram. I was ecstatic when I learned they had written a book and eagerly bought it and awaited the day it downloaded to my Kindle!
Phenomenal.
This book is now tied for top place (and i’ve read 85+ parenting books because I’m so intrigued by the different philosophies) on my list of favorite books for parents (along with Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson).
The Ericksons go so deep biblically into our calling as parents to train up our children by modeling Christ’s love, include practical scripts, and even use brain science better than some of the secular books I’ve read and in a balanced, faith-based way.
The rod chapter is amazingly thorough, and I’ll be referencing this book and my trillion highlights again and again.
Phenomenal.
This book is now tied for top place (and i’ve read 85+ parenting books because I’m so intrigued by the different philosophies) on my list of favorite books for parents (along with Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson).
The Ericksons go so deep biblically into our calling as parents to train up our children by modeling Christ’s love, include practical scripts, and even use brain science better than some of the secular books I’ve read and in a balanced, faith-based way.
The rod chapter is amazingly thorough, and I’ll be referencing this book and my trillion highlights again and again.
November 15, 2024
Finally a parenting resource that is research-based and biblically sound. The Ericksons pair neuroscience with theology (David is a theologian) to offer a “Jesus-centered guide to parenting with peace and purpose.” I really like Part 1’s emphasis on “it starts with us” with coping skills for adults. Part 2 covers trust-based obedience, discipline as discipleship, and spanking (yep! they go there). The quick reference guide in the Appendix is gold and will be something I turn to in tough parenting moments. Make this your go-to recommendation for Christian parents.
March 28, 2024
The book every Christian parent needs. Handles spanking really well, and brings in modern research and neuroscience in development to explain how to actually connect with your kids--and how this is far more in line with Scripture than trying to control them.
October 29, 2025
I did appreciate some sincere and wise and practical ideas, but I found the Hebrew lexicography wanting in persuasiveness.
September 10, 2024
This book is a must read for any parent (Christian or not), no matter what stage of your parenting journey you’re in. Being able to approach parenting with a peace making approach, not only has helped me with how I approach my child but it’s also allowed me to heal some aspects of myself that I didn’t realize needed healing. If you’re looking for something other than the traditional Christian parenting books that promote harsh discipline and pull scripture out of context to justify it… then this is the book for you!
May 1, 2025
Disclaimer: not a parent so this is all theoretical for me! 😅🫣
This book offered a slightly different perspective from most of what I’ve heard about parenting, leaning into the question of “what does it look like to model grace and unconditional love to children through their developmental stages?” (My paraphrase of their ideas)
Favorite concept was the idea that misbehavior is an opportunity to show unconditional love.
Biggest con: this style of parenting would take LOTS of time and intentionality. Living at the speed of American culture would not be compatible with this philosophy of parenting. However, I happen to think that living at the speed of American culture is incompatible with most of Christianity, so that doesn’t bother me too much.
This book offered a slightly different perspective from most of what I’ve heard about parenting, leaning into the question of “what does it look like to model grace and unconditional love to children through their developmental stages?” (My paraphrase of their ideas)
Favorite concept was the idea that misbehavior is an opportunity to show unconditional love.
Biggest con: this style of parenting would take LOTS of time and intentionality. Living at the speed of American culture would not be compatible with this philosophy of parenting. However, I happen to think that living at the speed of American culture is incompatible with most of Christianity, so that doesn’t bother me too much.
September 10, 2024
As a mom of kids with trauma, I’ve read all the books on parenting, but I couldn’t grasp how to get my kids to do anything without giving harsh consequences. This book combines Biblical wisdom, including grace, mercy and compassion with the latest findings of neuroscience in a way that finally puts all the pieces together for me. If you want to parent your children in the grace, love, and mercy that God in His wisdom parents us in, please get this book.
March 14, 2025
i loved the science based evidence while also referencing and using so many Bible verses! i esp loved in the last bit of the book recognizing what we can’t control in our children and releasing that to God.
November 20, 2024
Potentially the best parenting book I’ve read. Genuinely could see improvements in my parenting as I read through the book.
April 23, 2025
What a comfort to read to a parenting book and actually walk away feeling encouraged and refreshed instead of bogged down with unattainably lofty standards. The book lived up to its claim of being rooted in Scripture, science, and experience, all of which helped it feel trustworthy and worth implementing. Listened to this as an audiobook, but I think I might even buy a physical copy to reference back to and highlight things throughout.
November 4, 2024
An excellent, foundational-type of parenting book for Christian families. I’ve been following the Ericksons on social media for some time now, have dipped a bit into their teaching courses, and am so happy they have finally written a book.
I love their strong commitment to faithful interpretation of Scripture, the orientation of being Jesus followers, learning from research studies on child development, and their patient way of walking the reader through so many important parenting questions and issues. Lots of wisdom here. I wish every parent would read this.
Table of contents:
Foreword by Jim and Lynne Jackson
Introduction: From Frantic to Flourishing
Part 1: It Starts with Us
1: A God-Sized View of Children
2: The Power of Abiding
3: Cultivating Inner Peace
4: Playing the Long Game
Part 2: Parenting with Peace and Purpose
5: Created for Connection
6: Trust-Based Obedience
7: Cultivating Respect in Conflict
8: Identifying the Root of Misbehavior
9: Discipline as Discipleship
10: What about the Rod?
11: Fostering Wisdom
12: Parenting with Peace
A Benediction for You
Discipline as Discipleship
I love their strong commitment to faithful interpretation of Scripture, the orientation of being Jesus followers, learning from research studies on child development, and their patient way of walking the reader through so many important parenting questions and issues. Lots of wisdom here. I wish every parent would read this.
Table of contents:
Foreword by Jim and Lynne Jackson
Introduction: From Frantic to Flourishing
Part 1: It Starts with Us
1: A God-Sized View of Children
2: The Power of Abiding
3: Cultivating Inner Peace
4: Playing the Long Game
Part 2: Parenting with Peace and Purpose
5: Created for Connection
6: Trust-Based Obedience
7: Cultivating Respect in Conflict
8: Identifying the Root of Misbehavior
9: Discipline as Discipleship
10: What about the Rod?
11: Fostering Wisdom
12: Parenting with Peace
A Benediction for You
Discipline as Discipleship
December 31, 2024
If you are into intensive parenting this might be a good book for you but I found it to be off on a couple levels:
1. Their articulation of total depravity to be Biblically unsound
2. Their defense of anti-spanking is based on poor interpretation of Proverbs
3. Their view of science and the Bible to be generally "the Bible says this and science says the same. Where do they disagree? Well they don't...."
That said, let me summarize the book: Be an angel, and you will raise an angel.
1. Their articulation of total depravity to be Biblically unsound
2. Their defense of anti-spanking is based on poor interpretation of Proverbs
3. Their view of science and the Bible to be generally "the Bible says this and science says the same. Where do they disagree? Well they don't...."
That said, let me summarize the book: Be an angel, and you will raise an angel.
September 22, 2024
As my oldest became a toddler, I soon saw that what “worked” with me for my mom would not work for me with my child. Her responses to my correction were nearly the opposite of how I reacted at her age. The ways and methods I knew to assert and maintain authority seemed to only escalate conflict, and when I considered the fruit and trajectory of things, I could not see how I would keep her “in line” without finding myself moving toward possible abuse. Being sensitive to generational patterns in my family, that was not a risk I wanted to take. I needed wisdom and tools!!
I knew I did not want to be at odds with my child all day, every day, just hoping that one day, after 18 years, she might then understand all I’d done was for her good and she’d come around and we could finally enjoy our relationship. Thankfully, a friend with children older than mine expressed that she and her husband had felt led to pursue “positive parenting.” I was surprised. I had always assumed (though I don’t know where I picked this up) that whatever that type of parenting was, it produced spoiled, disrespectful brats and parents who dislike their kids. But as I watched this family, I saw that they embodied much of what I wanted for my own. So I started to explore and pray, and compare what I learned with scripture.
I began to think deeply about what my goals really were as a mother, and how to accomplish them without getting stuck in cycles that feed an adversarial dynamic. I thought about the fatherly way God has led me— with great patience and gentleness, and how the mandate of scripture to impress the word of God on our children implies that our relationship with them is the primary way God intends our faith to be passed on. Keeping that bond healthy is of greater importance than simply my or my child’s feelings.
When I realized my goal was to cultivate a character marked by the fruit of the Spirit, to lead by example and build trust, I knew I needed to learn more than the reactions that came by default.
The Ericksons have provided an excellent resource that is more thoughtful, balanced and accessible than a lot of what is out there— I dare say, maybe even most of it. The perspective and mindset shifts they teach are priceless and will empower countless families to break generational patterns of broken parent-child relationships.
In The Flourishing Family, the Ericksons address child development, neuroscience AND sin— in both children and parents, and unpack many passages of scripture that come up when we examine parenting, discipline and discipleship. Some voices in the world of parenting seem to avoid or ignore foundational doctrine that most Christians are trying to apply as parents. Others give advice that seems to contradict many biblical truths about the character of God as a father, and the Savior who we are to imitate. Many people have heard teaching that was either misguided, unrealistic and perfectionistic, or simply ineffective for their own family despite being seen as traditional.
I believe many Christian parents have been curious about learning more tools for correcting their children in a life-giving and trust-building way, but have been suspicious and apprehensive because of negative things they heard about “gentle parenting ideology”. If you are one of those, I really hope you’ll read this book. I believe it will address your concerns thoroughly and help you choose a parenting approach that is fully informed and led by Spirit and Truth, to the glory of God!
In The Flourishing Family, you will find an invaluable treasure of wisdom, encouragement and exhortation. I’d love to give a copy to every parent I know!!!
I knew I did not want to be at odds with my child all day, every day, just hoping that one day, after 18 years, she might then understand all I’d done was for her good and she’d come around and we could finally enjoy our relationship. Thankfully, a friend with children older than mine expressed that she and her husband had felt led to pursue “positive parenting.” I was surprised. I had always assumed (though I don’t know where I picked this up) that whatever that type of parenting was, it produced spoiled, disrespectful brats and parents who dislike their kids. But as I watched this family, I saw that they embodied much of what I wanted for my own. So I started to explore and pray, and compare what I learned with scripture.
I began to think deeply about what my goals really were as a mother, and how to accomplish them without getting stuck in cycles that feed an adversarial dynamic. I thought about the fatherly way God has led me— with great patience and gentleness, and how the mandate of scripture to impress the word of God on our children implies that our relationship with them is the primary way God intends our faith to be passed on. Keeping that bond healthy is of greater importance than simply my or my child’s feelings.
When I realized my goal was to cultivate a character marked by the fruit of the Spirit, to lead by example and build trust, I knew I needed to learn more than the reactions that came by default.
The Ericksons have provided an excellent resource that is more thoughtful, balanced and accessible than a lot of what is out there— I dare say, maybe even most of it. The perspective and mindset shifts they teach are priceless and will empower countless families to break generational patterns of broken parent-child relationships.
In The Flourishing Family, the Ericksons address child development, neuroscience AND sin— in both children and parents, and unpack many passages of scripture that come up when we examine parenting, discipline and discipleship. Some voices in the world of parenting seem to avoid or ignore foundational doctrine that most Christians are trying to apply as parents. Others give advice that seems to contradict many biblical truths about the character of God as a father, and the Savior who we are to imitate. Many people have heard teaching that was either misguided, unrealistic and perfectionistic, or simply ineffective for their own family despite being seen as traditional.
I believe many Christian parents have been curious about learning more tools for correcting their children in a life-giving and trust-building way, but have been suspicious and apprehensive because of negative things they heard about “gentle parenting ideology”. If you are one of those, I really hope you’ll read this book. I believe it will address your concerns thoroughly and help you choose a parenting approach that is fully informed and led by Spirit and Truth, to the glory of God!
In The Flourishing Family, you will find an invaluable treasure of wisdom, encouragement and exhortation. I’d love to give a copy to every parent I know!!!
July 24, 2025
This was an encouraging read! Full of helpful advice and insights into Christ-focused parenting given in an understanding, compassionate way.
One of my biggest takeaways was a fresh perspective on the nature of my relationship with my children. I am not meant to force obedience or control my children. I am meant to be their mentor and teacher and a place of safety. That perspective shift helps me to approach conflict with more compassion and calm and to treat them with the same respect I hope to receive from them.
I also loved the reminder that true peace in our hearts and homes comes through following Jesus Christ. We will never be perfect parents and we will never have all the answers but we can trust that He can transform our efforts and our weaknesses.
One of my favorite parts was about the older son in the Prodigal Son parable. The younger son didn't lose his father's love by his bad choices nor did the older son EARN his love with obedience and respect. I need to remember that this applies to my relationship with God and to my relationship with my children.
You don't have to be a perfect parent to be a good parent. Allow yourself grace and keep a growth mindset! Avoid negative self-talk, absolutes and shaming.
"You haven't failed and you are not failing. You are and always have been becoming the parent Christ has called you to be."
"It is never too late to forge a secure bond with your child. Parenting with peace is not a linear path but a dynamic and complex relationship that unfolds overtime."
"You do not prove that you are in charge by controlling your child. You prove that you are in charge by controlling yourself."
Discipline focuses on future behavior while punishment focuses on past behavior.
Some good tips to remember:
Posture of peace - below child's eye level, extend your arms and speak in a calm voice
Ways to complete the stress response cycle: big body movement, breathing and meditation, social connection, REST ("That pressure we feel to do more and be more? It doesn't come from God. He invites us to rest."), laughter
Parenting Techniques: Do-overs, Find the Yes (save no and stop for urgent situations), Future Facing Consequences (not punishments, focus on teaching/mentoring), Give Choices, Make Them a Shadow, Playfulness, Problem Solving, Storytelling
One of my biggest takeaways was a fresh perspective on the nature of my relationship with my children. I am not meant to force obedience or control my children. I am meant to be their mentor and teacher and a place of safety. That perspective shift helps me to approach conflict with more compassion and calm and to treat them with the same respect I hope to receive from them.
I also loved the reminder that true peace in our hearts and homes comes through following Jesus Christ. We will never be perfect parents and we will never have all the answers but we can trust that He can transform our efforts and our weaknesses.
One of my favorite parts was about the older son in the Prodigal Son parable. The younger son didn't lose his father's love by his bad choices nor did the older son EARN his love with obedience and respect. I need to remember that this applies to my relationship with God and to my relationship with my children.
You don't have to be a perfect parent to be a good parent. Allow yourself grace and keep a growth mindset! Avoid negative self-talk, absolutes and shaming.
"You haven't failed and you are not failing. You are and always have been becoming the parent Christ has called you to be."
"It is never too late to forge a secure bond with your child. Parenting with peace is not a linear path but a dynamic and complex relationship that unfolds overtime."
"You do not prove that you are in charge by controlling your child. You prove that you are in charge by controlling yourself."
Discipline focuses on future behavior while punishment focuses on past behavior.
Some good tips to remember:
Posture of peace - below child's eye level, extend your arms and speak in a calm voice
Ways to complete the stress response cycle: big body movement, breathing and meditation, social connection, REST ("That pressure we feel to do more and be more? It doesn't come from God. He invites us to rest."), laughter
Parenting Techniques: Do-overs, Find the Yes (save no and stop for urgent situations), Future Facing Consequences (not punishments, focus on teaching/mentoring), Give Choices, Make Them a Shadow, Playfulness, Problem Solving, Storytelling
December 16, 2025
I cannot recommend this book enough, and I’m flabbergasted that it took until 2024 for a book like this to exist. What a breath of fresh air!
This book is thorough, gracious, practical, and theologically robust without being overly academic. I think it makes very strong theological arguments for non-authoritarian, non-punitive parenting while giving examples of how that can look practically. This is clearly written to a conservative Christian audience and is written with nuance and respect, and I would feel confident recommending this book to anyone, no matter their theological viewpoints. The writing comes off as authentic and considerate and yet doesn’t shy away from arguing their positions.
I believe this could/should easily be the “Christian parenting book” (though also utilizing their recommended material for specific issues or more practical advice). It easily displays the fruit of the Spirit and yet speaks from reality.
Not every Christian parent or person who works with kids will find everything they need here. And it’s possible that some of their approach could be taken to a gentle parenting extreme, and mistakenly veer into permissive parenting. But I don’t believe that’s what they’re actually arguing, and I believe the perspective and practical advice is a very sorely needed counterpoint to the many Christian parenting resources currently available. So grateful for this book!
This book is thorough, gracious, practical, and theologically robust without being overly academic. I think it makes very strong theological arguments for non-authoritarian, non-punitive parenting while giving examples of how that can look practically. This is clearly written to a conservative Christian audience and is written with nuance and respect, and I would feel confident recommending this book to anyone, no matter their theological viewpoints. The writing comes off as authentic and considerate and yet doesn’t shy away from arguing their positions.
I believe this could/should easily be the “Christian parenting book” (though also utilizing their recommended material for specific issues or more practical advice). It easily displays the fruit of the Spirit and yet speaks from reality.
Not every Christian parent or person who works with kids will find everything they need here. And it’s possible that some of their approach could be taken to a gentle parenting extreme, and mistakenly veer into permissive parenting. But I don’t believe that’s what they’re actually arguing, and I believe the perspective and practical advice is a very sorely needed counterpoint to the many Christian parenting resources currently available. So grateful for this book!
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