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Like a Wave We Break: A Memoir of Falling Apart and Finding Myself
Win a free print copy of this book!
14 days and 16:04:30
5 copies available
U.S. only
NATIONAL BESTSELLER The courageous memoir of one woman’s globe-spanning journey of unraveling and awakening—breaking free of the narratives that once defined her and confronting the long-buried truths of a traumatic past—by the former CEO and co-founder of Embrace.
“A brilliant and gripping book about how resilience, keen intelligence, and sheer grit can transform cultural legacy and family adversity into hope and inspiration around the world.”—Bessel van der Kolk, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Body Keeps the Score
On paper, Jane Chen was the embodiment of success. A Harvard and Stanford graduate, she was the CEO and co-founder of a company that developed a groundbreaking incubator helping to save hundreds of thousands of newborns in the world’s most vulnerable communities. Her work gave her purpose and earned her shoutouts from presidents and pop stars. Yet underneath it all, she was burning out—consumed by self-doubt and a relentless need to prove herself, shaped by wounds that had formed long before her career began. No matter how much she achieved, she never felt like she was enough.
Then, Embrace collapsed. Jane lost more than a dream—she lost the identity she had built her life around. Feeling utterly broken, she set off on a global quest for healing. Her search took her across oceans and into the uncharted terrain of her inner world. She sat in silence for days in the Indonesian jungle. She sought wisdom from world-renowned healers and therapists. She burned holes into her leg for a frog poisoning ceremony. She dove headfirst into every form of self-help, from the spiritual to the psychedelic, from the cultish to the comical, only to find herself face-to-face with the one thing she had spent a lifetime the trauma of her upbringing as a first-generation Taiwanese American. Jane discovered a profound truth—that real healing doesn’t come from achievement, approval, or even the tools we think will save us.
A revelatory memoir brimming with candor, humor, and hard-won wisdom, Like a Wave We Break is more than a story of personal transformation—it’s an invitation to confront our deepest wounds and to embrace the messy, beautiful truth of who we are.
“A brilliant and gripping book about how resilience, keen intelligence, and sheer grit can transform cultural legacy and family adversity into hope and inspiration around the world.”—Bessel van der Kolk, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Body Keeps the Score
On paper, Jane Chen was the embodiment of success. A Harvard and Stanford graduate, she was the CEO and co-founder of a company that developed a groundbreaking incubator helping to save hundreds of thousands of newborns in the world’s most vulnerable communities. Her work gave her purpose and earned her shoutouts from presidents and pop stars. Yet underneath it all, she was burning out—consumed by self-doubt and a relentless need to prove herself, shaped by wounds that had formed long before her career began. No matter how much she achieved, she never felt like she was enough.
Then, Embrace collapsed. Jane lost more than a dream—she lost the identity she had built her life around. Feeling utterly broken, she set off on a global quest for healing. Her search took her across oceans and into the uncharted terrain of her inner world. She sat in silence for days in the Indonesian jungle. She sought wisdom from world-renowned healers and therapists. She burned holes into her leg for a frog poisoning ceremony. She dove headfirst into every form of self-help, from the spiritual to the psychedelic, from the cultish to the comical, only to find herself face-to-face with the one thing she had spent a lifetime the trauma of her upbringing as a first-generation Taiwanese American. Jane discovered a profound truth—that real healing doesn’t come from achievement, approval, or even the tools we think will save us.
A revelatory memoir brimming with candor, humor, and hard-won wisdom, Like a Wave We Break is more than a story of personal transformation—it’s an invitation to confront our deepest wounds and to embrace the messy, beautiful truth of who we are.
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Published October 14, 2025
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October 29, 2025Like a Wave We Break is a luminous, unflinchingly honest memoir about what it really means to unravel and to find oneself on the other side of that undoing. Jane Chen turns her gaze inward, offering a rare portrait of what happens when outer success can no longer quiet inner pain.
What makes this book so powerful is its bravery. Jane doesn’t just recount the arc of triumph and loss; she invites us into the tender, messy terrain of healing. Her story traverses continents and consciousness from Silicon Valley boardrooms to jungle retreats, from ancient traditions to experimental therapies but what stays with you is the wisdom she uncovers in her own heart, not necessarily the Frog Poison burnt into her legs.
This is more than a memoir; it’s a map for anyone who has ever felt trapped by perfectionism, haunted by old wounds, or disconnected from their own worth. Jane writes with clarity, grace, and deep compassion, reminding us that the path to wholeness isn’t linear, it’s tidal. Healing, like a wave, asks us to let go, to trust the pull and the release.
My biggest takeaway is that the journey toward self-love is not about fixing ourselves but remembering who we’ve always been. Chen’s courage in sharing her story gives the rest of us permission to soften, to question the stories we’ve inherited, and to find peace not in achievement, but in authenticity.
Like a Wave We Break is a must-read for seekers, leaders, and anyone standing at the edge of transformation.
What makes this book so powerful is its bravery. Jane doesn’t just recount the arc of triumph and loss; she invites us into the tender, messy terrain of healing. Her story traverses continents and consciousness from Silicon Valley boardrooms to jungle retreats, from ancient traditions to experimental therapies but what stays with you is the wisdom she uncovers in her own heart, not necessarily the Frog Poison burnt into her legs.
This is more than a memoir; it’s a map for anyone who has ever felt trapped by perfectionism, haunted by old wounds, or disconnected from their own worth. Jane writes with clarity, grace, and deep compassion, reminding us that the path to wholeness isn’t linear, it’s tidal. Healing, like a wave, asks us to let go, to trust the pull and the release.
My biggest takeaway is that the journey toward self-love is not about fixing ourselves but remembering who we’ve always been. Chen’s courage in sharing her story gives the rest of us permission to soften, to question the stories we’ve inherited, and to find peace not in achievement, but in authenticity.
Like a Wave We Break is a must-read for seekers, leaders, and anyone standing at the edge of transformation.
October 22, 2025
I received a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of Chen's memoir exploring her difficult childhood as a Taiwanese immigrant with an abusive father. The writing is evocative and clear. As an adult, she initially neglected all aspects of her personal life, instead pouring herself into her company that created life-saving incubators for infants. However, her "awakening" was where the book began to lose me. As an adult dealing with burn-out and lingering childhood trauma, she began to surf, aggressively pursue self-help books and seminars, and date. Her self-help exploration began to feel a bit tedious to read, as did her romantic failures. The writing lacked the clarity and immediacy with which she shared her childhood journey and I struggled to finish the book.
I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of Chen's memoir exploring her difficult childhood as a Taiwanese immigrant with an abusive father. The writing is evocative and clear. As an adult, she initially neglected all aspects of her personal life, instead pouring herself into her company that created life-saving incubators for infants. However, her "awakening" was where the book began to lose me. As an adult dealing with burn-out and lingering childhood trauma, she began to surf, aggressively pursue self-help books and seminars, and date. Her self-help exploration began to feel a bit tedious to read, as did her romantic failures. The writing lacked the clarity and immediacy with which she shared her childhood journey and I struggled to finish the book.
September 5, 2025
This book makes me want to go back to one of my favorite cities: Santa Cruz, CA. After you cross the wild, wicked mountains of San Jose, you see beauty everywhere. There are butterflies in the park, glorious ancient trees and sandy beaches that draws everyone in with surfers catching the waves.
People with grueling jobs come to the beach to unwind. There is something calming about the waves and it was the ideal place for Jane Chen to discover a part of herself that was buried deep inside. She had achieved amazing success, recognized by President Obama and many others. Yet, she struggled with love and relationships.
If you had a parent who was neglectful or abusive, then you can follow her path and hopefully find peace within yourself as well. Her personal experiences may hit home in a profound way. You may want to have tissues nearby.
Not everyone has the means to travel the world to find a cure for emotional distress. Yet, this self-help book may help. It’s well-written for those seeking to overcome challenges in their lives when other forms of therapy haven’t worked. And a trip to Santa Cruz to meditate and find peace is always a plus.
My thanks to Harmony Books and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book with an expected release date of October 14, 2025. As always, my opinions are my own.
People with grueling jobs come to the beach to unwind. There is something calming about the waves and it was the ideal place for Jane Chen to discover a part of herself that was buried deep inside. She had achieved amazing success, recognized by President Obama and many others. Yet, she struggled with love and relationships.
If you had a parent who was neglectful or abusive, then you can follow her path and hopefully find peace within yourself as well. Her personal experiences may hit home in a profound way. You may want to have tissues nearby.
Not everyone has the means to travel the world to find a cure for emotional distress. Yet, this self-help book may help. It’s well-written for those seeking to overcome challenges in their lives when other forms of therapy haven’t worked. And a trip to Santa Cruz to meditate and find peace is always a plus.
My thanks to Harmony Books and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book with an expected release date of October 14, 2025. As always, my opinions are my own.
November 12, 2025
Like A Wave We Break is a beautiful, deeply personal memoir that traces Jane Chen’s lifelong pursuit of achievement — from Stanford and Harvard to leading a social enterprise saving premature babies in desperate conditions around the world — and her eventual journey back to herself. Jane writes with raw honesty and courage about the cultural and personal forces that shaped her: the discipline and expectations familiar and common in many Asian families, and the quiet cost of always striving to be “enough.”
I couldn’t put this book down.
It’s for anyone who has ever done everything “right,” checked every box of success, and still felt not quite enough. Jane looks unflinchingly at the pain of her childhood and the stories she built about who she needed to be. Her journey reminds us that healing is never a straight path — it’s messy, painful, and deeply human. What stayed with me most were Jane’s reflections on acceptance: learning to embrace “who we are—the mess, the chaos, the grief, the fear, the heartbreak”. Her message isn’t about fixing or erasing our pain, but finding the courage to face ourselves with kindness and understanding through it.
Like A Wave We Break was for me both a mirror and a map: a reminder that wholeness doesn’t come from achievement, but from the grace of finally coming home to ourselves.
I couldn’t put this book down.
It’s for anyone who has ever done everything “right,” checked every box of success, and still felt not quite enough. Jane looks unflinchingly at the pain of her childhood and the stories she built about who she needed to be. Her journey reminds us that healing is never a straight path — it’s messy, painful, and deeply human. What stayed with me most were Jane’s reflections on acceptance: learning to embrace “who we are—the mess, the chaos, the grief, the fear, the heartbreak”. Her message isn’t about fixing or erasing our pain, but finding the courage to face ourselves with kindness and understanding through it.
Like A Wave We Break was for me both a mirror and a map: a reminder that wholeness doesn’t come from achievement, but from the grace of finally coming home to ourselves.
October 27, 2025
Like A Wave We Break is a poignant read that follows Jane Chen’s journey to overcome her own childhood trauma to save herself and become whole again. Despite becoming an extremely accomplished person, Jane had this void where she thought she was never good enough or loved in the right way. Her honesty and vulnerability in the book hit hard — there were moments that left me in tears and others that were light and funny. This is a riveting read for anyone who is interested in the self-healing journey.
October 23, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
The year of the memoir continues for me with Chen’s Like a Wave We Break. As a fellow human suffering from trauma, I really appreciated Chen’s journey through self-discovery and healing from her childhood abuse suffered at the hands of her father. My own trauma is not rooted in my childhood, but I can relate to her story in that it is the result of my relationship with a family member. Her descriptions of inner child work, trauma informed therapies, and even an MDMA journey display the benefits of all the different modals of therapy and how important it is to not only persist in your healing journey, but to also find the appropriate one for your needs. The fact that she found significance in each route she tried, and didn’t just give up with each setback was inspiring to me. I hope that I am able to peruse my own healing with the same perseverance.
The year of the memoir continues for me with Chen’s Like a Wave We Break. As a fellow human suffering from trauma, I really appreciated Chen’s journey through self-discovery and healing from her childhood abuse suffered at the hands of her father. My own trauma is not rooted in my childhood, but I can relate to her story in that it is the result of my relationship with a family member. Her descriptions of inner child work, trauma informed therapies, and even an MDMA journey display the benefits of all the different modals of therapy and how important it is to not only persist in your healing journey, but to also find the appropriate one for your needs. The fact that she found significance in each route she tried, and didn’t just give up with each setback was inspiring to me. I hope that I am able to peruse my own healing with the same perseverance.
October 19, 2025
4.5 ⭐️ I absolutely adored this read! It’s vulnerable and so, so relatable. I highlighted a number of passages that connected so deeply 💯🫶🏼 Reading Jane’s journey was inspiring. Even though our backgrounds are vastly different, I finished this book feeling validated and less alone in my own journey. Any first-gen, eldest daughter, over-achievers who honestly aren’t sure if they’re smart… THIS IS FOR YOU!!! ‘Achievement dysmorphia’ is forever added to my vocabulary.
October 18, 2025
I read Jane Chen’s Like a Wave We Break cover to cover on my recent flight from London to LA. I was enthralled. Mesmerized. Heartbroken. Sobbing.
Jane’s words moved through me like tide and truth — her story of pain, survival, and reclamation is written with such exquisite honesty that you can’t help but see yourself within it.
As I turned each page, I didn’t just witness her story — I relived my own.
The abuse I survived.
The defense mechanisms I built.
The unworthiness I once believed.
And the healing I chose.
This book reaches beyond memoir; it’s a mirror, a guide, and a companion for anyone who has walked through darkness toward self-love.
Thank you, Jane, for your courageous vulnerability — for putting words to what so many of us have felt but never spoken.
Like a Wave We Break is a beacon of hope, reminding us that on the other side of everything we’ve endured lives the woman we’ve always longed to be. She’s been there all along. And love frees her.
Jane’s words moved through me like tide and truth — her story of pain, survival, and reclamation is written with such exquisite honesty that you can’t help but see yourself within it.
As I turned each page, I didn’t just witness her story — I relived my own.
The abuse I survived.
The defense mechanisms I built.
The unworthiness I once believed.
And the healing I chose.
This book reaches beyond memoir; it’s a mirror, a guide, and a companion for anyone who has walked through darkness toward self-love.
Thank you, Jane, for your courageous vulnerability — for putting words to what so many of us have felt but never spoken.
Like a Wave We Break is a beacon of hope, reminding us that on the other side of everything we’ve endured lives the woman we’ve always longed to be. She’s been there all along. And love frees her.
October 22, 2025
Jane has never been one to stick to the easy path. As a member of her surf community, I have witnessed Jane move on from easy longboards to the unforgiving pursuit of short boarding. Instead of becoming frustrated and giving up, Jane persevered and now sits at the top of the peak, amongst the saltiest of dogs, with a smile you can see all the way from the cliff. After reading Jane's memoir, I learned that her perseverance to mastery isn't limited to the ocean. Jane's memoir takes the reader through heavy heart breaks that are always followed by her coming up for air.
November 9, 2025
Relentless courage to heal childhood pain
I was sucked into the author's heartbreaking stories from her earliest memories. But I stopped being able to relate as she tried unconventional ways to heal over and over (and over) again. I rooted for her peace but I started to dread reading on because the cycles became exhausting.
I was sucked into the author's heartbreaking stories from her earliest memories. But I stopped being able to relate as she tried unconventional ways to heal over and over (and over) again. I rooted for her peace but I started to dread reading on because the cycles became exhausting.
November 3, 2025
I had the honor of having an early read of my friend Jane Marie Chen's powerful book – Like a Wave We Break. 🌊
This book has a level of honesty, vulnerability, and self reflection that I find so rare in our day-to-day work lives and society — and her messages cut deeply and powerfully.
While riveted by her journey (from childhood to inspiring startup leader to navigating romantic partnerships, along with spiritual and personal growth) - I found myself reflecting on my own childhood, and how all of our early experiences end up playing a massive impact on how we show up at work, in romantic relationships, and as parents and friends.
I highly recommend you check it out - and there’s a reason why Marc Benioff, Tony Robbins and others say the same.
This book has a level of honesty, vulnerability, and self reflection that I find so rare in our day-to-day work lives and society — and her messages cut deeply and powerfully.
While riveted by her journey (from childhood to inspiring startup leader to navigating romantic partnerships, along with spiritual and personal growth) - I found myself reflecting on my own childhood, and how all of our early experiences end up playing a massive impact on how we show up at work, in romantic relationships, and as parents and friends.
I highly recommend you check it out - and there’s a reason why Marc Benioff, Tony Robbins and others say the same.
October 19, 2025
An excellent book chronicling Jane's life as an entrepreneur and an exploration of her journey to find healing from childhood trauma. I was drawn in by her raw openness and willingness to expose her weaknesses along with her strengths to all her readers. She has gone above and beyond in her exploration of healing! I really enjoyed reading about her love of surfing, how she discovered it and how it helped shape her as a young woman. Her description of waves and different surf breaks were pure pleasure for me to read. I fell in love with surfing in Santa Cruz so reading her words describing my favorite surf break (Pleasure Point) just added more for me to love about this book!
August 11, 2025
We all need this book - especially since most of us are burnt out in all aspects of life and the narrative norm is to just keep going. This book was inspiring for me, to see how Jane went through life working hard but doubting herself and overdoing it from burn out. The way she found herself and explored not just the world but herself soul is truly empowering to read about. There is plenty of humor on these pages but also a lot of inspiration and motivation.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
October 10, 2025
Thank you Jane, for telling a story that was so real and making yourself so vulnerable. I hope I can heal as you have one day. There's much from childhood I've stuffed down and not dealt with. 4.5 stars. thanks to the author, publisher, and Goodreads for the free print copy:-)
July 27, 2025
A memoir and a somewhat complicated review — for a story beginning with horrific child abuse and leading to what will become a life-long adult search for healing — that could not help but raise all sorts of emotions in this reader. Empathy, pain and compassion. Curiosity and hope. Wonder, as Jane(the author) channels her years of trauma into an avoidance of intimacy and a robustly successful achieve-at-all-costs career, tempered with a new-found fascination for high-stakes shortboard surfing.
Until Jane can manage the emotional cost no longer. And it all comes tumbling down.
And so begins a rocky journey to find herself, detailed here, as the author approaches her much-needed therapy with the same no-holds-barred approach she has used to approach other aspects of her life.
Without giving too much away, this is a book that is undoubtedly heart-rending (and darkly beautiful) in parts, achingly so as we experience life through the eyes of an appallingly mistreated and vulnerable little girl. Who grows into a vulnerable adult, excelling at a visceral and dangerous extreme sport, while dissociating from feeling most of what has been buried deep inside her.
It will take time and more than one revelation, layer by layer unpeeled as the author’s search to wholeness begins. Reminiscent in some ways here of “Eat Pray Love” (a book this reader did not completely enjoy), the comprehensive look at alternative therapies encountered by the author was perhaps my least favorite section of the book.
Leading to, all in all, an interesting and important read (if somewhat uneven) that cannot fail to captivate.
A great big thank you to Netgalley, the author and the publisher for an ARC of this book. All thoughts presented are my own.
Until Jane can manage the emotional cost no longer. And it all comes tumbling down.
And so begins a rocky journey to find herself, detailed here, as the author approaches her much-needed therapy with the same no-holds-barred approach she has used to approach other aspects of her life.
Without giving too much away, this is a book that is undoubtedly heart-rending (and darkly beautiful) in parts, achingly so as we experience life through the eyes of an appallingly mistreated and vulnerable little girl. Who grows into a vulnerable adult, excelling at a visceral and dangerous extreme sport, while dissociating from feeling most of what has been buried deep inside her.
It will take time and more than one revelation, layer by layer unpeeled as the author’s search to wholeness begins. Reminiscent in some ways here of “Eat Pray Love” (a book this reader did not completely enjoy), the comprehensive look at alternative therapies encountered by the author was perhaps my least favorite section of the book.
Leading to, all in all, an interesting and important read (if somewhat uneven) that cannot fail to captivate.
A great big thank you to Netgalley, the author and the publisher for an ARC of this book. All thoughts presented are my own.
October 1, 2025
The author is very open about her life and healing journey. It was refreshing to read a memoir in which the author didn't find a solution in the first thing they tried. I thought the author was honest about the complexities of healing from trauma. Worth a read.
September 12, 2025
Jane uses her love of surfing as a melodic metaphor throughout this book, and I felt myself riding the waves with her so often, in so many ways. The waves of perfectionism that drove her achievement, softening onto the shores of her awakening. The waves of avoidance that recycled patterns she unconsciously adopted, until she found stiller waters. The waves of fear normalized in their destruction, a drowning force, ultimately befriended.
No bones about it, Jane Chen is a badass. Her indominable spirit carried her through abuse and neglect to chart an inspirational course that saved over 1,000,000 babies. One might say it was fate that crossed her path with the likes of Bessel van der Kolk, Tony Robbins, Ram Dass, Barack Obama, Adam Grant, Bill Gates and The Conscious Leadership Group (and too many others to list). But the real answer is - she created it all.
I experienced a peek-a-boo quality to Jane’s writing. I could see the face of a child in the shadows of her words, even when the content was all about business. The scared little one Jane ultimately sets free showed up in her passion for giving to others that which she hadn’t gotten herself. Safety. Care. Compassion. Connection. This, to me, is a uniquely beautiful and rare expression of love. That’s Jane.
No bones about it, Jane Chen is a badass. Her indominable spirit carried her through abuse and neglect to chart an inspirational course that saved over 1,000,000 babies. One might say it was fate that crossed her path with the likes of Bessel van der Kolk, Tony Robbins, Ram Dass, Barack Obama, Adam Grant, Bill Gates and The Conscious Leadership Group (and too many others to list). But the real answer is - she created it all.
I experienced a peek-a-boo quality to Jane’s writing. I could see the face of a child in the shadows of her words, even when the content was all about business. The scared little one Jane ultimately sets free showed up in her passion for giving to others that which she hadn’t gotten herself. Safety. Care. Compassion. Connection. This, to me, is a uniquely beautiful and rare expression of love. That’s Jane.
August 4, 2025
This memoir is one that I had the good fortune of winning in a goodreads giveaway. I will say that this story was very inspiring and relatable. I think that we all have been in the position where we are trying too hard to please those who care about us with our achievements. Sometimes in the long run our achievements become our identity and when it ends up failing we feel like we have lost the only thing we viewed as important. Overall I found this Memoir to be an enjoyable read with an important message.
Jane Chen who was the daughter of immigrants from Taiwan learned at a very young age that sucess meant everything. She ended up pushing herself through school and achieved many higher education degrees and ended up starting up the company Embrace Global which designed an affordable incubator to save the lives of at risk babies. However, despite this sucess Jane is not happy about her life.
She eventually decides to step aside from her work and go on a journey of self discovery. This jourbey includes several different therapy options and also exploring relationships. In the long run this journey helps Jane realize her authentic self.
Jane Chen who was the daughter of immigrants from Taiwan learned at a very young age that sucess meant everything. She ended up pushing herself through school and achieved many higher education degrees and ended up starting up the company Embrace Global which designed an affordable incubator to save the lives of at risk babies. However, despite this sucess Jane is not happy about her life.
She eventually decides to step aside from her work and go on a journey of self discovery. This jourbey includes several different therapy options and also exploring relationships. In the long run this journey helps Jane realize her authentic self.
October 13, 2025
This is a special book written by a special woman.
When you get right down to it, we (women) are very
much alike and I will likely think about ‘Meg,’ forever.
This is the story that sticks with you. It has no
conclusion because as long as we are alive, we are making g choices, having new experiences while
making memories.
This is a powerful story I recommend to all readers.
My thanks to Harmony Publishing for the download
copy of the book for review purposes.
When you get right down to it, we (women) are very
much alike and I will likely think about ‘Meg,’ forever.
This is the story that sticks with you. It has no
conclusion because as long as we are alive, we are making g choices, having new experiences while
making memories.
This is a powerful story I recommend to all readers.
My thanks to Harmony Publishing for the download
copy of the book for review purposes.
June 19, 2025
A peek into the psyche of a person with an achieving personality and what goes on behind the calm surface. Gratitude to the author for sharing her vulnerabilities and best wishes in her healing! Also an unexpected guide to healing modalities as she details her journey. The writing was gripping, it had me glued to the book.
October 22, 2025
via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog.wordpress.com/
𝗠𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱, 𝗜’𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆. 𝗠𝘆 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝗜’𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲.
Jane was four years old when she immigrated with her family to Southern California from Taiwan. Her father had big dreams that had him chasing freedom, hoping to escape the history of his homeland. They were going to live in a middle class, predominantly white neighborhood and assimilate. Her father worked hard, until he decided to stop. Fitting in wasn’t so simple, in time, Jane and her sisters became American and their parents, “shadows of their former selves.”
With her father’s high expectations for Jane’s future, his teachings included corporal punishment, and if she didn’t get answers right in her studies, it was hard knocks and insults. Jane became a master at burying her emotions and pretending life was swell. Her father wanted her to become a doctor, something he was unable to do and held as scared, this meant even her free time was spent in pursuit of his grand plan. As she aged, it was good grades and college she focused on, even in junior high she chose to shirk crushes and not pursue popular beauty standards other girls her age obsessed over. Not even dipping her toe in religion could save her from her father’s brutal hands nor her mother’s harsh comparisons. It’s hard to comprehend and forgive abusers, even if it’s the way of life, passed down generation to generation. She grew up and achieved success, though she didn’t become a doctor, she was already living in her own apartment in Hong Kong and jetting around the world working for a management consulting firm by the age of twenty-one. It never seems to be enough for her father. No one knew the life she was living was making her miserable, despite appearances to the contrary.
In a new venture, closer to her passion, she became the CEO and co-founder of Embrace Global, providing low-cost incubators that saved “over seven hundred thousand newborns in impoverished communities worldwide.” The sleeping bag design was called Embrace, and nothing had fired her soul more than helping infants and the success of her company. It is when everything starts to fall apart that she searches for meaning, reflects on her life and faces an internal struggle in loving herself. If only she can learn that her worth shouldn’t be measured by how she ranks in her father’s mind. Surfing provides an escape as does potential love, but trusting another’s acceptance and affection is easier said than done.
This memoir is Jane’s personal journey through the pain of childhood abuse and the crushing weight that she must lift herself out of if she ever hopes to heal and live a life, for once, that she chooses for herself. Certainly, the early days are a culture clash and her parents’ anger are based off fears of the hard life they left behind and yet it doesn’t exonerate them from blame as Jane unravels. She tries various therapies in her attempts to heal and finally surrender. I always enjoy reading about culture, how it molds us into who we are, for better or worse. We inherit more than we realize, including everything that occurs in our nation. An engaging read.
Published: October 14, 2025
Rodale
Harmony
𝗠𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱, 𝗜’𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆. 𝗠𝘆 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝗜’𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲.
Jane was four years old when she immigrated with her family to Southern California from Taiwan. Her father had big dreams that had him chasing freedom, hoping to escape the history of his homeland. They were going to live in a middle class, predominantly white neighborhood and assimilate. Her father worked hard, until he decided to stop. Fitting in wasn’t so simple, in time, Jane and her sisters became American and their parents, “shadows of their former selves.”
With her father’s high expectations for Jane’s future, his teachings included corporal punishment, and if she didn’t get answers right in her studies, it was hard knocks and insults. Jane became a master at burying her emotions and pretending life was swell. Her father wanted her to become a doctor, something he was unable to do and held as scared, this meant even her free time was spent in pursuit of his grand plan. As she aged, it was good grades and college she focused on, even in junior high she chose to shirk crushes and not pursue popular beauty standards other girls her age obsessed over. Not even dipping her toe in religion could save her from her father’s brutal hands nor her mother’s harsh comparisons. It’s hard to comprehend and forgive abusers, even if it’s the way of life, passed down generation to generation. She grew up and achieved success, though she didn’t become a doctor, she was already living in her own apartment in Hong Kong and jetting around the world working for a management consulting firm by the age of twenty-one. It never seems to be enough for her father. No one knew the life she was living was making her miserable, despite appearances to the contrary.
In a new venture, closer to her passion, she became the CEO and co-founder of Embrace Global, providing low-cost incubators that saved “over seven hundred thousand newborns in impoverished communities worldwide.” The sleeping bag design was called Embrace, and nothing had fired her soul more than helping infants and the success of her company. It is when everything starts to fall apart that she searches for meaning, reflects on her life and faces an internal struggle in loving herself. If only she can learn that her worth shouldn’t be measured by how she ranks in her father’s mind. Surfing provides an escape as does potential love, but trusting another’s acceptance and affection is easier said than done.
This memoir is Jane’s personal journey through the pain of childhood abuse and the crushing weight that she must lift herself out of if she ever hopes to heal and live a life, for once, that she chooses for herself. Certainly, the early days are a culture clash and her parents’ anger are based off fears of the hard life they left behind and yet it doesn’t exonerate them from blame as Jane unravels. She tries various therapies in her attempts to heal and finally surrender. I always enjoy reading about culture, how it molds us into who we are, for better or worse. We inherit more than we realize, including everything that occurs in our nation. An engaging read.
Published: October 14, 2025
Rodale
Harmony
October 14, 2025
Jane Chen’s memoir, Like a Wave We Break, is two stories: the first, about her role in building and scaling an incubator technology that saved tens of thousands of premature babies’ lives and the second, about her journey to healing from the psychological scars of an abusive childhood.
I was fascinated by Jane and her co-students’ development of Embrace while she was a student at Stamford. Jane and friends did not set out to build an incubator or become social impact game changers, but when they designed, iterated, and refined, they found they had a product that could literally save lives and felt a moral obligation to build a company to get it around the world. Jane’s role as CEO was to create the vision, inspire and lead the team, and secure the millions of dollars needed to fund operations. That journey brought Jane all over the world, to the Obama White House, Davos, and more. While the book isn’t formally divided into two parts, I’d call this part one, and I loved it. Though out part one, Jane mentions her mental health struggles: anxiety, depression, and anger to name a few, but they’re in the background.
Part two is when Embrace starts to take a back seat to Jane’s personal journey through healing from childhood trauma. It felt longer and more intense to me, which is likely because of the long and intense experiences Jane had. Jane works just as hard to heal herself as she did to build Embrace, which is to say, very hard. Jane will try literally anything to fix herself, including have frog poison burned into her leg. It’s a lot. And I found myself feeling sad, empathetic, and frustrated by Jane’s seemingly endless attempts to feel better, particularly when it’s easy to feel confident some of them won’t work.
Overall, I thought this was a good memoir and an interesting read. I’d recommend it, but caution readers that Jane’s trauma is heavy and largely unresolved, so it might be triggering. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Favorite quotes:
“‘Achievement dysmorphia.’ He explained it as a persistent distortion in how one views their accomplishments—the sense that no matter what you achieve, it never feels like enough. You downplay success, dismiss praise, and live with the constant feeling that you’re falling short. Who I was and what I saw were two entirely different things…”
“‘Meditation is great to help you receive. But you need to balance that with prayer, which is about asking.’”
“Overcoming fear isn’t about running away from the thing that scares you. It’s about knowing you can fail, that you can be in the thick of the thing you are most afraid of—and that you’ll be okay.”
I was fascinated by Jane and her co-students’ development of Embrace while she was a student at Stamford. Jane and friends did not set out to build an incubator or become social impact game changers, but when they designed, iterated, and refined, they found they had a product that could literally save lives and felt a moral obligation to build a company to get it around the world. Jane’s role as CEO was to create the vision, inspire and lead the team, and secure the millions of dollars needed to fund operations. That journey brought Jane all over the world, to the Obama White House, Davos, and more. While the book isn’t formally divided into two parts, I’d call this part one, and I loved it. Though out part one, Jane mentions her mental health struggles: anxiety, depression, and anger to name a few, but they’re in the background.
Part two is when Embrace starts to take a back seat to Jane’s personal journey through healing from childhood trauma. It felt longer and more intense to me, which is likely because of the long and intense experiences Jane had. Jane works just as hard to heal herself as she did to build Embrace, which is to say, very hard. Jane will try literally anything to fix herself, including have frog poison burned into her leg. It’s a lot. And I found myself feeling sad, empathetic, and frustrated by Jane’s seemingly endless attempts to feel better, particularly when it’s easy to feel confident some of them won’t work.
Overall, I thought this was a good memoir and an interesting read. I’d recommend it, but caution readers that Jane’s trauma is heavy and largely unresolved, so it might be triggering. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Favorite quotes:
“‘Achievement dysmorphia.’ He explained it as a persistent distortion in how one views their accomplishments—the sense that no matter what you achieve, it never feels like enough. You downplay success, dismiss praise, and live with the constant feeling that you’re falling short. Who I was and what I saw were two entirely different things…”
“‘Meditation is great to help you receive. But you need to balance that with prayer, which is about asking.’”
“Overcoming fear isn’t about running away from the thing that scares you. It’s about knowing you can fail, that you can be in the thick of the thing you are most afraid of—and that you’ll be okay.”
August 17, 2025
Jane Marie Chen's father physically and emotionally abused her as a child, all the while expecting academic perfection and obedience. Her mother's response was to caution her daughter to hide the bruises so no shame would be brought on the family. Chen internalizes these lessons by setting herself on an academic and professional trajectory so extreme that it could only be accomplished by someone who has the ability to ignore her own physical and emotional needs. She co-founds Embrace, a social enterprise that developed and distributes a kind of incubator for premature babies in third world countries that is entirely portable and can be used without a power source. At the pinnacle of her success, everything comes crashing down. The second half of the memoir is about her personal journey, trying to find out why her extraordinary achievements have not brought her happiness. and why she feels so broken inside. Her journey takes her to remote corners of the world in search of shamans, gurus and elixirs that might fix her, but also on a quest to catch a wave -- because she's taking a sabbatical from work and has become a surfer. She goes after the most renowned therapists and most exotic treatments and tackles the most treacherous, most remote waves -- really just repeating what she's done academically and professionally. Ultimately, she finds what she's looking for in the most unexpected place. A satisfying and emotional memoir that will resonate with many readers, particularly high-achieving women. The first half and the last chapter were superb. It dragged a bit on the guru quest/surfing portion in the second half.
#Rodale #Harmony #Netgalley
#Rodale #Harmony #Netgalley
November 6, 2025
I love memoirs and I really wanted to like this one too, but something was missing. Can't really put my finger on it. A good memoir to me is a page turner. I learn something deep. I'm caught up in the story. And that simply did not happen. The author is a "successful" immigrant-born woman who has to face the abuse she experienced since she was a girl in her immigrant family, primarily at the hands of a traumatized father. The author is able to find success and achieve through school (dual degrees, Stanford/Harvard) and start a social enterprise business building incubators for babies, work that pretty much consumes her whole life. Unable to not strive and failing at two detailed love relationships, she is on the path of self healing - psychedlic trips, private healings with Tony Robbins, poison frog poisonings, lots of meditation, surfing and more. She brags that she is able to get private ongoing healing sessions with the famous trauma therapist, Bessel Van Der Kolk and then towards the end, has a final session of psychodrama/MMDA to learn that she is the one who will take care of the little girl within.
So much pain this girl/woman went through at the hands of a violent father and mother who did nothing. And yet, I somehow could not conjure empathy for her or interest in her story. Her story is so many of our stories of those of us who never got what they needed to be able to have whole lives with loving relationships. I just think there may be more interesting memoirs that can convey similar journeys. I do hope the author is feeling more healed and is able to lead a more whole life.
So much pain this girl/woman went through at the hands of a violent father and mother who did nothing. And yet, I somehow could not conjure empathy for her or interest in her story. Her story is so many of our stories of those of us who never got what they needed to be able to have whole lives with loving relationships. I just think there may be more interesting memoirs that can convey similar journeys. I do hope the author is feeling more healed and is able to lead a more whole life.
November 24, 2025
Such a solid read. A few thoughts
- Toxic productivity, even when well intentioned (as Jane’s was, creating a device that saved literally thousands of babies) and well received(Embrace got funding from benioff khosla gates), does little to heal trauma and it sure as hell doesn’t promote resiliency.
-You can try ashwaganda, ketamine treatment, falling in love with surfing, or countless talk therapies and you won’t get anywhere until you establish safety within yourself. You have to feel safe in the world, physically, mentally, spiritually etc. in order to really begin to heal from the past. And that requires a lot of self compassion and somatic regulation.
- We are bound to repeat relationship patterns until our lesson is learned
- I love surfing so much and need to lower the perceived barrier to entry because it brings me so much joy and peace - really resonated with everything Jane said about the lifestyle she found most fulfilling
A few quotes I’ll take with me & probably add to quote book
“We achieved to outrun our pain. It wasn’t the hurricane we feared, it was the calm. If there wasn’t a crisis, we were really good at creating one.”
“I’m recreating a relationship of deprivation, because I’m so used to being deprived in childhood.”
“Where your thoughts go, your energy flows”
- Toxic productivity, even when well intentioned (as Jane’s was, creating a device that saved literally thousands of babies) and well received(Embrace got funding from benioff khosla gates), does little to heal trauma and it sure as hell doesn’t promote resiliency.
-You can try ashwaganda, ketamine treatment, falling in love with surfing, or countless talk therapies and you won’t get anywhere until you establish safety within yourself. You have to feel safe in the world, physically, mentally, spiritually etc. in order to really begin to heal from the past. And that requires a lot of self compassion and somatic regulation.
- We are bound to repeat relationship patterns until our lesson is learned
- I love surfing so much and need to lower the perceived barrier to entry because it brings me so much joy and peace - really resonated with everything Jane said about the lifestyle she found most fulfilling
A few quotes I’ll take with me & probably add to quote book
“We achieved to outrun our pain. It wasn’t the hurricane we feared, it was the calm. If there wasn’t a crisis, we were really good at creating one.”
“I’m recreating a relationship of deprivation, because I’m so used to being deprived in childhood.”
“Where your thoughts go, your energy flows”
September 12, 2025
Chen’s Like a Wave We Break isn’t your formulaic memoir, the kind we read like recipes, looking for familiar ingredients and then for the magical way in which we can put them together to concoct a perfect—or at least marginally better—life. Yes, it charts her path from abused child to successful entrepreneur to broken woman who struggles to understand how she got there.
But the stories of her childhood are heartbreaking, and the strength, intelligence, and courage it took for Chen to survive and thrive take one’s breath away. The work she has done through her company, Embrace, inventing, producing and distributing portable, reusable incubators to struggling communities around the world has been life-changing for millions. Her fortitude in saving her struggling company was beyond admirable. Her work and her story are important.
I was struck throughout by Chen’s frank and unvarnished chronicle of her childhood abuse. At the same time, she brings to bear a level of empathy toward her parents that I’m not sure many could muster. Her understanding of their struggles, and the forgiveness this affords is tender and, on a broader, less personal, and more important level, very hopeful.
But the stories of her childhood are heartbreaking, and the strength, intelligence, and courage it took for Chen to survive and thrive take one’s breath away. The work she has done through her company, Embrace, inventing, producing and distributing portable, reusable incubators to struggling communities around the world has been life-changing for millions. Her fortitude in saving her struggling company was beyond admirable. Her work and her story are important.
I was struck throughout by Chen’s frank and unvarnished chronicle of her childhood abuse. At the same time, she brings to bear a level of empathy toward her parents that I’m not sure many could muster. Her understanding of their struggles, and the forgiveness this affords is tender and, on a broader, less personal, and more important level, very hopeful.
October 31, 2025
A memoir of a woman trying to heal from a father with unreasonable expectations for his child and who routinely slapped and hit for any mistakes.
Memoir themes: - surviving the emotional consequences of unusually harsh physical punishment of a father to a child
- ways the author tried to compensate for her lack of self-worth and self-love in her adult life
- what worked temporarily for healing, and what seemed to work finally, in the long run
I was moved by this woman trying so hard in different places, countries, to find something to put herself at ease. Meditation, retreats, visits with various gurus and persons who claimed to be able to cleanse - all these helped only a little, and only for a while. Her accomplishments that gave her joy were a new found love of surfing, which she did in many different places and countries. And her very worthwhile work in developing an incubator for at risk newborns in third world countries.
Her journey of self discovery and self healing took a while. I admired her grit and determination, and the way she handled her terrible childhood memories. So well written, this book was read in almost one sitting, as I became more and more intrigued and caught up in her story.
Memoir themes: - surviving the emotional consequences of unusually harsh physical punishment of a father to a child
- ways the author tried to compensate for her lack of self-worth and self-love in her adult life
- what worked temporarily for healing, and what seemed to work finally, in the long run
I was moved by this woman trying so hard in different places, countries, to find something to put herself at ease. Meditation, retreats, visits with various gurus and persons who claimed to be able to cleanse - all these helped only a little, and only for a while. Her accomplishments that gave her joy were a new found love of surfing, which she did in many different places and countries. And her very worthwhile work in developing an incubator for at risk newborns in third world countries.
Her journey of self discovery and self healing took a while. I admired her grit and determination, and the way she handled her terrible childhood memories. So well written, this book was read in almost one sitting, as I became more and more intrigued and caught up in her story.
November 24, 2025
Like a Wave We Break is one of those rare books that doesn’t just tell a story, it moves through you the way the ocean ebbs and flows. Gentle at times, powerful at others, but always with a steady pull that brings you closer to the heart of what it means to love, to grieve, to let go, and to begin again.
Jane captures the emotional tides of human connection in a way that is both deeply intimate and universally relatable. You feel every crest of hope, every undertow of loss, and every moment where she exemplifies resilience.
What stayed with me most is how beautifully the book mirrors real life: how relationships change shape, how healing is never linear, and how the things that break us can also remake us.
By the final pages, I wasn’t just reading a story, I felt like I had lived it too. It’s the kind of book you carry with you long after you close it, the kind you want to gift to someone who needs to know that even in the deepest waters, there is light, movement, and a path forward. Truly a remarkable read!!
Jane captures the emotional tides of human connection in a way that is both deeply intimate and universally relatable. You feel every crest of hope, every undertow of loss, and every moment where she exemplifies resilience.
What stayed with me most is how beautifully the book mirrors real life: how relationships change shape, how healing is never linear, and how the things that break us can also remake us.
By the final pages, I wasn’t just reading a story, I felt like I had lived it too. It’s the kind of book you carry with you long after you close it, the kind you want to gift to someone who needs to know that even in the deepest waters, there is light, movement, and a path forward. Truly a remarkable read!!
October 9, 2025
Like a Wave We Break is a powerful act of truth-telling and an invitation to deep healing. Jane Chen’s phrase “borderline obsessive drive to heal” gave language to something I’ve felt for so long. I saw myself in her relentless search for wholeness, her tenderness toward her younger self, and her courage in naming intergenerational wounds.
What resonated most was how she challenged cultural expectations—especially the pressure to honour our parents by staying silent about our pain. Her story reminds us that healing is not betrayal. It’s an act of love. Of choosing to embrace every part of ourselves, even the ones we were taught to hide.
We need more stories like this: honest, tender, and unafraid to go there. Representation matters, especially in the Asian diaspora. Jane’s voice fills a space that’s been underrepresented for too long. As someone also exploring these themes in my own writing, I’m deeply grateful this book exists.
What resonated most was how she challenged cultural expectations—especially the pressure to honour our parents by staying silent about our pain. Her story reminds us that healing is not betrayal. It’s an act of love. Of choosing to embrace every part of ourselves, even the ones we were taught to hide.
We need more stories like this: honest, tender, and unafraid to go there. Representation matters, especially in the Asian diaspora. Jane’s voice fills a space that’s been underrepresented for too long. As someone also exploring these themes in my own writing, I’m deeply grateful this book exists.
October 17, 2025
Brave, shockingly so at times. Totally not what you'd expect from a world renowned social entrepreneur. While at Stanford Business School, Jane Chen helped design a low cost incubator that has saved more than a million premature babies lives. SO, one would assume, the memoir would be a self-help manual for the high achieving. NOPE! She reveals what it took her decades to realize: her drive comes from a history of child abuse and domestic violence in her Asian family. And to embrace herself, she tried all sorts of insane stuff -- frog poison, beatings from a medicine man, recruiting "ideal fathers" who look like Santa Claus. My favorite scene is when she throws a lover's belongings out her window in San Francisco because, well, she's still far from healed...
We all sense the world is broken. Jane Chen's theory of change: heal thyself so that you don't live life on high-octane trauma response and make everyone else miserable in the process. If that rings true to you, read the book.
We all sense the world is broken. Jane Chen's theory of change: heal thyself so that you don't live life on high-octane trauma response and make everyone else miserable in the process. If that rings true to you, read the book.
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