I really love Vogue and Joanne’s podcast My Therapist Ghosted Me — it’s sharp, funny and always entertaining — so I honestly thought I’d love this too. But I was so disappointed. I don’t like casting shade, but the truth is the book was terrible. The narration was grating — over-exaggerated, sing-song, and unnatural, more like a children’s story than a memoir — which made it very difficult to listen to.
Almost everything in here was recycled from her podcast or social media. The only three things I actually learned that were new were:
1. A drunken argument with Brian McFadden a couple of nights before their wedding, when she threw her shoes at him and he threw them into the river.
2. Later that same night, she slipped back at the hotel because she was drunk, bruised her face, and had to get her best friend and makeup artist to check the damage the next day — who reassured her it could be covered with tattoo makeup.
3. When she and Brian were moving in together in London, he asked someone who had been living rent-free in his flat to move out — and they boiled poo in saucepans before leaving.
Beyond those three stories, the rest was shallow, repetitive, and nowhere near the brutal honesty of Lily Allen’s My Thoughts Exactly. I pushed through to the end, but I really wish I hadn’t. Two stars.