Breadwinners: And Other Power Imbalances That Influence Your Life

by Melissa Hogenboom

A NEW SCIENTIST BEST POPULAR SCIENCE BOOK OF 2025

Huge social changes occurring in real time are leading us to rethink traditional roles in our homes, workplaces and in society. So why do women who outearn their male partners still tend to do more housework and childcare? Why are unemployed men generally happier if their female partners are also unemployed? Why is unpaid labour still seen as a less important contribution than paid work within family units?

In Breadwinners, award-winning science journalist Melissa Hogenboom interviews dozens of female breadwinners, stay-at-home dads and same-sex couples, comparing their stories to the latest research to demonstrate the consequences of changing dynamics. She reveals how pursuing and maintaining power is a key part of every human interaction, affecting every area of our lives. Breadwinners shows how, the closer we look, the easier it is to see the influence of power structures all around us. Ultimately, it gives readers the tools to address imbalances and improve our relationships at home and at work.

If we can share power more equally, we can improve not only our own wellbeing but also recognise how to dismantle social structures that are seemingly set in stone.

Genres: Nonfiction, Politics

259 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 14, 2025

Reviews

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was SUCH a fascinating book

if you’ve ever thought deeply about power dynamics, the role of stereotypes or how you balance tasks in the home, this is a book you’ll find very interesting.

and if you haven’t but are intrigued? I’d recommend it too, because it really opens your eyes to areas and power imbalances that you may not have thought of.

whether it’s navigating a female breadwinner, carrying the “mental load” or approaching work promotions and differing schedules, this book tackles what it means to get wrapped up in societal norms and how we can break free from them to be truly happy in our relationships and life 🙌🏻

[Dimeji Detunji · Rating 2 out of 5]

Breadwinners sets out to examine one of the most pressing questions of modern life: who earns, who cares, and how these dynamics shape relationships. It is an important topic, long overdue for serious exploration. But the way Hogenboom frames it raises difficult questions about tone and intent—because much of the book seethes with anger.

Anger, of course, has its place. It can expose injustice and energise debate. Yet in Breadwinners, the repeated emphasis on unfairness, resentment, and structural imbalance risks turning the book into a manifesto of grievance. New Scientist’s description of it as “enraging” is not incidental; the writing often feels designed to provoke indignation rather than to foster understanding or constructive dialogue.

This approach has prompted some to ask whether the book veers into toxic feminism: a strain of commentary that highlights inequities but does so in ways that alienate rather than unite. By focusing so relentlessly on the burdens of women and the failings of men—or on the oppressive structures that underpin both—Breadwinners sometimes leaves little room for collaboration, nuance, or hope. Even where Hogenboom includes stories of stay-at-home fathers or same-sex couples, the framing remains adversarial, as though every deviation from the traditional breadwinner model is a battle rather than a choice.

The danger is that anger becomes the dominant register, eclipsing empathy and complexity. For readers seeking not just diagnosis but pathways forward, the tone can feel more exhausting than empowering. It is here that Breadwinners risks slipping from sharp feminist critique into something less constructive: a brand of feminism that sharpens divides rather than building bridges.

Important questions are raised in these pages. But the manner in which they are asked may leave readers wondering whether anger alone can ever lead to real change.

[Heejung · Rating 5 out of 5]

With deep insight and a wealth of scientific evidence, Melissa unpacks the complex interplay of money, power, and love in modern relationships. She shows how stubborn gender norms continue to distort our ideas of what men and women should do, clashing with the realities of today’s changing world and people's true ideals of coupledom and family. This eye-opening book invites us to rethink outdated expectations and imagine more equal, fulfilling partnerships that align with the lives we truly want to lead. A must read for those interested in understanding why we are stalled in the gender revolution and to better understand what we can do to help in our own household.

[Lucy Brighton · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Breadwinners, award-winning science journalist Melissa Hogenboom examines the shifting dynamics of money, power, and love in modern relationships with clarity and depth. Drawing on extensive research and candid interviews, she reveals how entrenched gender norms continue to shape domestic life, even as society evolves, and offers thoughtful insights into how couples can build more equal and fulfilling partnerships. A timely and thought-provoking read.

Full review on TikTok @brightwritenow

[Suzuka]

I’m sure others will get something out of this, but I found it repetitive and often pointing out the obvious. Not much to gain from reading this.

[Clouds 🌸🌺 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t feel like I’ve learned anything new, but I did like the discussions on the different studies led and their conclusions. It’s always nice to have a point you already know ‘illustrated’.

[Jon Margetts · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good points laboriously made.