Dear England: Lessons in Leadership - Inspirational Wisdom from The Former England Football Manager

by Gareth Southgate

Brought to you by Penguin.

A major and inspiring new book on leadership by former England men's football manager Gareth Southgate

‘Many of us find ourselves called upon to be leaders at some point in our lives. Whatever meaning leadership has for you, I hope the stories I tell in these pages may resonate with your own experiences, and may even offer you some guidance.'

As England manager, in one of the highest profile roles in the country, Gareth Southgate forged a unique management style, combining calm empathy with mental resilience, and courageous integrity with strong accountability. His leadership at England propelled the men’s national team to its most sustained success in fifty years, reaching the 2018 Fifa World Cup semi-final, the 2022 quarter-final, and the Uefa Euro 2020 and 2024 finals. In the process, Southgate revitalised and reshaped the national team’s footballing identity.
In Dear Lessons in Leadership, Southgate reveals the defining moments that forged his leadership style, the principles that informed his biggest decisions, and the inner steel he developed that enabled him to perform under the most intense public scrutiny. Learn how



Build resilience and define valuesTransform cultureShape a winning strategyTurn pressure into performanceLead through adversity
Southgate reflects on his early days as a Premier League captain, his lowest moment missing a penalty during Euro 96, through to his experiences guiding England through four major tournaments, and becoming a cultural figure whose open letter during the Covid-19 pandemic inspired a hit West End play. Southgate’s story is one of overcoming setbacks, building quiet resolve and enacting long-lasting change.

Written with warmth, honesty and wisdom, Southgate’s inspiring book transcends football to offer modern-day leadership lessons for any individual, team or organisation

‘Compelling, entertaining . . . Southgate articulated a moral vision that was beyond anything attempted by a generation of British politicians.' Guardian

‘A tremendous book’ Chris Evans

'What is remarkable is the insight it offers into Southgate’s psychology and what sustained him through the darkest times and enabled him to become an exemplary leader’ Times

Gareth Southgate 2025 (P) Penguin Audio 2025

Genres: Audiobook, Leadership, Football, Nonfiction, Sports, Biography

Audible Audio

Published November 6, 2025

Reviews

[Paul Fulcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

If i were remembered as a decent person who led authentically, treated others fairly and did his best for the team and for the nation in his own way, then the fact that I oversaw the best period in English football for more than fifty years would merely be a bonus.

A (surprisingly) impressive book that showcases Southgate's approach of empathetic, authentic, ethical, courageous and planful leadership using examples from his highly successful stint as England's men's team manager, but with lessons for any form of leadership.

I suppose 'nice' was the label people put on me in those days, the inference being I was 'too nice to make it'. That just made me dig deeper to prove them wrong - a harder tackle, standing up to bravado, practising for hours on end. And if doing that while showing decency, manners and respect, on and off the pitch, is still 'too nice', then I'm guilty as charged.

But given I went on to represent England more times as a player and manager combined than anyone else in the history of English football, I guess I wasn't too nice to make it. In fact, as I have developed as a leader, the inference in football, and sometimes in life, that in order to have a winning mentality you have to be nasty, aggressive or divisive is exactly the opposite of how I see it — and exactly the opposite of how I was raised to see it.

For me, there were no contradictions between being determined to win, prepared to challenge people and fully capable of making tough decisions while also showing decency and respect for others. On the contrary those values - the values which had been instilled in me all my life - would shape my leadership style and end up giving it strength. They were the place of authenticity from which I would lead.

[Matthew Coker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really enjoyable read, partly because I was able to recognise what a great job he had done as manager of England and also because of his intelligence, humility and decency in the role.

This is not really specifically a book about Football, but much more a book about leading. It is obvious that culture is a huge part of what he does and that standards of behaviour and conduct or vital to an organization and it success. He has a real sense of valuing everybody who contributes, not just the players, but every single member of staff as well.

There were lots of little bite size takeaways, and they were very well illustrated in terms of how we applied those to the job of national team manager, which is also relatable. He’s concluded by saying that his next step is some sort of development role for young people something in the field of mentorship, which resonated as well.

This was a book I got from the library, but I feel it’s one that would be good to own and refer back to particularly if you are in any sort of leadership role.

[Dominic Garvin · Rating 2 out of 5]

No new motivation ideas learnt 🥴

[Rog the Jammy Dodge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having watched the recent TV drama, the first thing to say is that because the book is factual the drama, dramatic license aside, closely mirrors it. However, the book is slanted more to the lessons in leadership that Gareth gained during his time as a player and manager.

As a football fan, the book is an intelligent, eloquent and fascinating look under the bonnet as to how a football team can be coached and managed. I was taken aback at the level of preparation that Gareth and his team put into every potential aspect of team performance, not just the training and team bonding and his personal bete noire, the penalty shootout, but also everything from having fun (yes, the inflatable unicorns in the swimming pool were real) to investigating every facet as to how to get the best possible night's sleep. For a non football fan, it provides all the drama and heartache and will be equally fascinating too.

What must have been hardest for Gareth is facing the constant carping from ignorant people (who are simply not as informed and not a tad as talented), as to why many of the decisions were made. On the up side, the character of the current crop of intelligent, well presented, motivated, informed and likeable England players are as much a testament to the ex manager, Gareth Southgate.

[Adam Lambert · Rating 4 out of 5]

A genuinely insightful read, a man who clearly cared very much about his work and representing his country and always did so with dignity and humility despite a lot of (undeserved) flack at times.

Less of an autobiography and more of a leadership manual, meaning not always as much detail as I would've liked, but some good stories in there and some points that prompted some reflection.

Still England's best manager in decades.

[CC · Rating 5 out of 5]

People often like to jest how they’d listen to someone read the phone book, but in the case of Sir Gareth I mean it with my whole heart.

Maybe some bedtime stories too, please.

[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a football fan who seems to end up in leadership positions, this was an interesting read. Possibly not for England fans who simply don’t care about the “man-management” side of things

[Gumble's Yard - Golden Reviewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I think of legacy, however, I'm aware that there s so much more involved in all of this than silverware. If I refer back to the one-page philosophy' document I set out at he start of my England tenure … it's a useful measure of performance to answer the original questions I posed: Did we create memories that people will remember for ever? Did our players and staff enjoy the journey? Were the perceptions of the England player changed? Did we create a strong and enduring culture? Had we forged a winning team identity? Did we go about things in the right way and were lessons learned for life as well as for football? I'm proud to say that I think we ticked an awful lot of those boxes.

When I look back at my time as England manager, there are other questions I ask myself in areas that also matter to me. How did I make people feel? On and off the pitch, what standards did I set in shaping the values and culture of the team? How did I challenge players to develop and then perform collectively to the best of their abilities? What steps did I take to unite, inspire, support, protect and champion the team so they could play to their strengths? Ultimately, what difference did I make in leading a diverse group of individuals to a point where they had the best possible chance of success in the future?

Surprisingly engaging book which uses autobiographical detail from Southgate’s career as a manager (almost entirely based on his England role but with some early examples from Middlesbrough and the England U-21 set up) to set out Southgate’s management principles. The chapters which roughly proceed chronologically each have a series of abstracted and more general leadership ideas at the end of each chapter.

Some things I liked about the book were:

It is a book that Nicholas Taleb might approve it (or perhaps more not disapprove of) – its focus is very explicitly on process rather than being fooled by random outcomes – and its clear Southgate has an evolving but carefully set and then considered set of leadership principles which lead to partial success rather than being successful and then backfilling the ideas that retrospectively made an achieved success inevitable (this of course in complete contrast to most MBA case studies and books on leadership by successful business leaders). One clear example of this is that he argue strongly that the penalty loss to Italy (including the now infamous choice of young penalty takers some of whom were substituted on at the very last minute and all of who missed) was based on a very worked out strategy which he still believes maximised the chance of success.

As an aside Southgate also emphasises the need for scenario planning to deal with potential outcomes (sending off, going a goal down, playing 10-men, of course penalty shoot outs, set pieces where with perhaps some justification he claims to have pioneered set piece preparation and expertise) framing them as opportunities rather than challenges – but also as a way to prepare for completely unexpected developments (one could say black swans).

It is refreshing and for me at least much more relatable to read a management or sports leadership book by an author who emphasises empathy, decency, doing the right thing and humility and the need to leave a legacy.

If I had criticisms:

The chapter on lessons from COVID seemed awkward to me (and I suspect reading it to Soughgate).

Southgate bridles at the term “Meaningless Friendly” (and what he correctly points out is the way the first word pretty well automatically precedes the second) and, while going out of his ways to not settle scores, the attitude of clubs to player release – but I am strongly of the view that International football needs to be severely curtailed and to competitive games only.

And related to this it is head to relate normal business practice to a role which has an extreme level of random outcome such that process emphasis is the only real way to go – even football club management has a host of outcomes each year (not effectively one every two years) and in almost all business roles the outcomes are much more continuous and ultimate crucial ……… Taleb’s criticism of the MBA approach is more due to the survivorship bias and to underestimating the role of luck in extreme success.

Overall though I found this an excellent book and one I would highly recommend to football loving business leaders.

Like any leader at the end of a journey, I can measure my impact by comparing what the organisation looked like stepped up to how it looked when I stepped down. Fact: it was in a far better place. And if I were remembered as a decent person who led authentically, treated others fairly and did his best for the team and for the nation in his own way, then the fact that I oversaw the best period in English football for more than fifty years would merely be a bonus.

[Andy Matheson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given this as a Christmas present but only picked it up after watching the BBC dramatisation of Dear England
An enjoyable read and I felt a lot of admiration for Gareth and his approach to the job of England manager.
The book brings to life the many challenges in the role and how he tries to create a positive culture for success. I have no doubt we was a good choice for England Manager and a good role model for leadership.
The book is more focussed on the leadership perspective rather than a strict autobiography.. although he generally moves forward in date order.
I work in the coaching business myself and found his stories and anecdotes very relevant to people I coach in business. There were a few ideas and concepts I hadn’t seen before (for example the leadership frameworks and culture/values statements)
He does pride himself in loyalty and people so the book suffers a little from real stories and challenges.. he mentions a few players in passing but chooses not to go into detail about problems or issues with particular players (as you might expect in a candid autobiography). I guess he does that to keep the secrets safe but as a reader it would have been interesting to hear some more details here.

The book is also enlightening on the pure scope of the England Manager role. So much more than energising the team ready for a match. He brings to life how he had to deal with racism, Covid, equality, social pressure and much more. I certainly finished it with a refreshed respect for anyone who takes on the job. He also sounds like a thoroughly decent bloke with his heart in the right place . It’s a shame the team just fell short of his ambitions.
With the World Cup about to start it also prompts reflection around how Thomas T will change and adapt things to ready the team for the next challenge ..

[Elliott Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Essentially reads as an autobiography of his time as England manager, through a leadership lens that focuses more on how he managed the team than how the team performed (naturally, those things are intertwined). As someone who followed the team closely during that period I could really connect with the book's contents.

Really enjoyed Southgate talking through which people and organisations he'd learned from, in particular the army. Clearly his grandfather's connection to the army has inspired him, and I found it really interesting how he'd taken their leadership structure and methodologies and implemented them in his own England set-up. Similarly his focus on the team's purpose, and it 'inspiring and connecting with the nation', led me to believe he's perfectly suited to the England job over a club job, especially given the nature of dealing with so many facets of The FA as an organisation.

Reading it at a time when England are picking their 2026 World Cup squad was englightening too - how crucial it is to pick players with a character that lends them not to playing much, how easy it is to pick the starting XI but far more difficult to pick the 23 (or 26), what the leadership team looks like.

It did lapse into a classic footballer autobiography prose towards the end talking about more recent tournaments ("we did this, then we did that"). And I'm always wary of books that feel a need to summarise their chapters with "key takeaways from this chapter". But to people who sit in the "interest in football and leadership" venn diagram, would happily recommend.

[Jack B · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to an audiobook version

An insightful look into the complexities involved in managing the England team. It is also a very helpful insight into leadership, from offering up some new perspectives and to helping reaffirm some beliefs I already had.

I appreciate writing what you know but I felt like there were some other areas that could have been touched upon like 'managing upwards'.

I have a strong appreciation for Southgate as as a man and I respect that he is true to himself in terms of his delivery. Hearing him read the book reinforces a sense of authenticity. He is an effective writer in terms of conveying accurately what he means, but I feel it's sometimes lost in his delivery. There were moments that could have done with more emphasis and the joke delivery could have been stronger.

Still, a more profound read that most football books and making a hybrid between a biography and a self help book is inspired. I appreciate that Southgate doesn't presuppose our lives, but rather conveys his experiences and let's us take lessons from them. It's abundantly clear too he's a very considerate and intelligent man too.

[Gary Dowden · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very rare non-fiction read and with the World Cup fast approaching, it seemed a great time to give this one a go.
Former England manager Gareth Southgate writes candidly about his time as a player, club manager and international manager and while the primary focus is on leadership and the challenges that it provides, there are some great insights into other aspects and I found the pieces on criticism, penalty shoot outs and racism particularly interesting with the latter two becoming combined unfortunately after the euro 2020 (2021) Final.
Many of the leadership challenges he writes about would easily be transferable to other situations and i recognised certain challenges from when j was a department manager for four years and it was really interesting to read of how early mistakes helped his decision making going forward.
Very in depth and wordy but never dull and in general a fascinating look at international football management. If all else fails, get some inflatable unicorns for the swimming pool for the players 🤣🤣

[Peter Dray · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fascinating glimpse into the England setup under Gareth Southgate, and especially into the manager's own approach and mindset. There are some principles of leadership that apply more widely - not surprisingly, most naturally to teams who are required to peak at given moments (reflected most in Southgate's meticulous attention to detail). Other principles are more generally applicable; above all, what stands out is Southgate's care for people. Without it, leadership is ultimately not only counter-productive but short-term in its focus and impact.

"Yet one thing will never change: leadership is always about people. My players were never magnets to be moved around on a tactics board. They were individuals - flesh and blood, with their own hopes, dreams and fears. My job was understanding them, and, by understanding them, to bring out the best in them."

[Brian Harris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting and surprising book on many levels - not only how Gareth Southgate changed the mind set of the players but also how he dealt with the old guard , who were running England football for so many years . This was a book beyond football with key messages about leadership and management and some very good models/frameworks including the British army leadership model . I also liked the way the end of each chapter had summaries of the key points .
If I was still working I would be using this book as a leadership manual.
GS is clearly a decent , thoughtful, caring man - my main criticism of him would be not being as decisive a coach during a game as he should have been . We should have won at least one cup under him but did not because of his cautious approach.
Good book though.

[Becki Dawson-Darby · Rating 5 out of 5]

For years I've been watching England matches and Gareth Southgate on the sideline. I've been intrigued by how he leads and having heard his pre and post match interviews I knew he had many interesting things to say about leadership.

A few years ago I mentioned to my husband that if Southgate wrote a book on leadership I would read it and I'm glad I did.

Southgate gives an honest, insightful and intelligent reflection on his years as England manager. He has always come across as a man who values integrity and resilience and I really enjoyed this up close conversation about his life and lessons in football.

A great read for football fans but also a fantastic read for leaders in any walk of life.

[Katrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gareth got me back into watching and supporting the men’s team again. His style of leadership is so refreshing in men’s football. In this, he comes across as thoughtful and mostly self-aware, and I think one of the best things to happen to our men’s team.

The only things that jarred with me were his generalisations referring to England’s football history and lack of recent success, without acknowledging/basically erasing the women’s team. And I was a bit unconvinced on his bits around human rights and the 2022 World Cup - the integrity lapsed a bit there and it’s obvious football came first.

But overall, a really good and considered book on leadership and his time as England manager. Definitely someone I look up to as a leader.

[Захарченко Віктор · Rating 5 out of 5]

Коли футбольний менеджер пише книгу про лідерство, це зазвичай означає одне з двох: або спробу виправдати поразки, або бажання капіталізувати на успіхах. Книга Гарета Саутгейта “Dear England: Lessons in Leadership” —інше. Це роздуми людини, яка перетворила найгучнішу невдачу своєї кар’єри на філософію лідерства, що допомогла англійській збірній досягти результатів, яких вона не бачила півстоліття.

Саутгейт не обіцяє формулу перемоги. Натомість він пропонує щось більш практичне: розуміння того, як вести команду під нестерпним тягарем очікувань, як будувати довіру там, де панувала недовіра, і як створити культуру, де люди можуть бути собою, навіть коли на них дивиться ціла нація.

[James Marsh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part leadership book, part managerial biography from Southgate, which is really exactly what I wanted it to be.

If you've read other leadership books, this one covers a lot of well trodden ground. However, it's enjoyable because the concepts are mapped against Southgate's lived experiences as England manager.

Overall a really interesting insight. Execution could be better at times but I enjoyed it and it was easy to read.

[Seaside Sparkles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book, despite the dad jokes! What an inspirational man and one who understood that his role was so much more than football tactics. Very interesting read how he created a different culture in the FA but also about the impact of the COVID pandemic. I’m looking forward to seeing how his career now develops, he comes across as a kind, creative and innovative man who you would want as a leader.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it - in spite of a lashing by The Guardian's "Bookmarks" feature, I thoroughly enjoyed reading Southgate's thoughts on what makes a great leader - so many useful points to share with my clients. The football anecdotes are fascinating but the teal value for me is those very Lessons in Leadership that we all need to be reminded of.

[Ellie Pegden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really really loved this. Especially after seeing the Dear England play with John in November… it gave even more insight into Southgate’s tenure as England manager and his philosophies as a leader and just left me with a LOT to consider.

(Turns out he doesn’t wear shin pads to play fifa and we should’ve been a LOT nicer to the guy)

[Thomas H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book. Gareth Southgate for me has transformed English football into an area for progress, change and positive influence, in stark contrast to the ‘lad’ culture of before. Players now feel more comfortable showing vulnerability and being open.

Southgate clearly was a great leader and mentor for those 8 years and he links his approach to outside football very well.

Very inspiring stuff

[Adam Moloney · Rating 3 out of 5]

The best England manager of my lifetime giving his reflections on how managing the England team for 8 years can translate to leadership in general and largely works. I would have liked to read more of an autobiographical version of the events over those years but can see why he would want to steer clear of the controversy that would inevitably follow.

[Adam Murfet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book on leadership with genuine insight on all things Gareth did to change the culture and perception of the England Team. This is an exceptional read with so many interesting insights. Truly remarkable

[Simon Wells · Rating 4 out of 5]

If, like me, you love football and you've an interest in the business of leadership, this book is for you. Probably OK if you've 1 of these 2, but probably won't do it if you're not interested in either topic. I really enjoyed the detail, the back stories and Southgate's approach to leadership.

[Jamie Bowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gareth Southgate takes us through his leadership lessons from his career. There’s nothing revolutionary here that you won’t find in many other leadership books. But, what this does do it shows how they were applied in football management, and for that reason it’s an interesting book.

[Vicki Duncan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I throughly enjoyed this! Especially on audiobook. I will miss spending my mornings with Gareth.

He is completely how you would expect; methodical, empathetic and a cool calm head in a crisis. What a shame we didn’t win with him

[Enda Hackett · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book but abit too much yime dedicated to the covid period. The most successfull England manager in recent memory.

[Eleanor Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

10/10 am recommending to all my friends

[Rob Mead · Rating 4 out of 5]

An admirable defence of the importance of decency