Figuring Out Thirty: Decoding the decisive decade

by Bridget Hustwaite

When Bridget Hustwaite blew out her thirtieth birthday candles, she had no idea of the profound changes that awaited her in this new decade. Instead of ticking off the traditional expectations (buy a house, get married, start a family), Bridget's list of early thirties life moments looked wildly different to what she anticipated. Her long-term relationship of five years had just ended, she said goodbye to her dream job, was diagnosed with ADHD and became a lockdown dog mum. And that was just the beginning . . .

Figuring Out Thirty covers the big questions we ask ourselves as the defining decade looms. How do we know the decisions we're making for our futures are the right ones for us, and not what society expects of us? Is marriage still relevant, and how do we decide if we want to have children - and when? Do our dream careers have expiration dates? And why do our friendships hit different now?

In her characteristically warm and relatable style, Bridget brings together collected wisdom from her hit podcast of the same name to deliver wide-ranging perspectives on crossing the threshold from our twenties to our thirties, and all that comes with it. Along the way she shares her frank, hard-earned lessons about what really matters at this time in our lives, and how we can navigate the ups and downs while staying true to ourselves. As you'll discover, there is magic to be found in things not going exactly to plan.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Memoir, Mental Health, Relationships

Audible Audio

Published January 7, 2025

Reviews

[Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m currently 32 and it is February which is peak self help mode for me. I related to the chapters on career, family estrangement, and best friends, but that’s about it for me. There wasn’t anything particularly noteworthy about the other chapters, but hopefully that doesn’t imply that 30’s won’t be noteworthy.
I’ve spoken with my fellow millennial friends before about how for all of your teenage years and into your 20’s, having kids is a fear drilled into you, then suddenly you near 30 and you’re expected to have flipped a neurological switch and want it more than anything. I’m yet to flip that particular switch…
So it was interesting to hear from a fellow millennial also dealing with our particular generational issues, though I do think it would have benefitted from the wisdom of someone who has already lived through their 30’s. Like even each chapter having an older perspective at the end would have been interesting to me, obviously times have changed but it might have brought an added benefit to the points made.
If you want answers you won’t find them here, but more so just commiseration and sometimes that’s all we need.

[Eva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this while listening to I think about it all the time by Charli xcx 🔛🔝
As a nearly 29 year old this book could not have come at a better time. I related to SO many chapters and Bridget's insights and advice were so comforting and helpful. I would not usually pick up an advice book like this but I was a big fan of Bridget on Triple J, really glad I decided to give it a read!

[EmG ReadsDaily · Rating 4 out of 5]

A varied collection of topics, with personal anecdotes and wisdom about navigating societal expectations when facing a milestone birthday or other big life events.

This was funny and insightful in parts. I am not quite the right demographic, although this was an easy listen audiobook that would be useful for anyone struggling with an upcoming milestone birthday.

3.5 stars

[Mikaela G · Rating 5 out of 5]

For someone with a fear of aging, dying and turning 30 this year, this book could not have come at a better time!!

I enjoyed the wide range of topics, the research into each topic, the advice sought from peers and friends, and the author’s honest thoughts (not just wishy washy statements).

Really recommend the audiobook version too - it felt like listening to a friend verbalise what I have been thinking, feeling and dealing with!

[Holly · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thought I’d dive into self help world again…felt like I was reading a university paper. Sad day.

[BookishlyMorgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

With any book of this nature there are going to be parts that are relevant to your life and parts that aren’t. I really loved challenging my thinking and hearing about the experiences of other people turning thirty and where they are at in their life.

My big takeaways from this book were; nobody expects you to have it all figured out, challenge societal expectations of what ‘having it figured out’ even means, not everybody wants the same things anyway, and thirties are going to be our best years as we have come to know ourselves so much better. We have to live with ourselves 24/7, so be kind to yourself 💕

Highly recommend for anyone aged 25-35

[Jordan Gilbert · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Rhylee Hanrahan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Related hard to this in so many ways - including the same plastic surgeon that pinned my ears back and the Covid pup named Daisy that gives the occasional anxiety 😂

[Ella Scacchia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love this girl

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have finally been released from Spotify audiobook jail so can actually finish this one. Solid 3.5, easy read but semi autobiographical when I was expecting a bit more of a self help vibe.

[Jade Scouller · Rating 3 out of 5]

An easy and overall enjoyable read, but nothing groundbreaking

[Jodie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy read, I relate to Bridget on a lot of topics especially the endometriosis diagnosis and endo sort of ruling my life and when I can be social etc. found lately that I’m definitely questioning my timeline to those around me, not comparing but more a “what do I want out of the next few years”. Grappling with if it’s an overseas/interstate move, new career or buying a home. I found her own experiences insightful and made me reflect on my life and how it’s okay to just enjoy life and have fun and not worry about the prospective future.

[Hollie Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

10/10 no notes. Am questioning my whole existence after reading this though, in the best way possible

[Harriet Waugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this! Honestly, a must read. 🙌🏼

[Rosie Carbery · Rating 1 out of 5]

Go girl, give us nothing. For me, this was neither relatable nor interesting. DNF @ 32%

[Alex Banjo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw, real and relatable. Such a great read, Bridget writes so beautifully and I could relate to so many of her stories about navigating her way through her late 20s/early 30s. Highly recommend xx

[Jayde Tangey · Rating 4 out of 5]

As 31 looms, I found this relatable and reassuring at times.

[Carla Boniolo · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very easy read that just felt like reading conversations I have in real life with my girlfriends. Nothing new or life-shattering. 3.5 stars. Nice to have validation that basically everyone talks about the pressures and the privilege of being in your 30s.

[JESS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book felt like Bridget Hustwaite had climbed into my brain, pulled out my internal battles from the past couple years, and put them onto paper! Bridget unpacks why blowing out your candles at 30 seems to come with an uninvited party guest: the good old existential crisis.

There’s something about your early thirties as a woman that makes you feel like you should have it all figured out by now. By this age, you’ve likely set yourself a bunch of life goals and expected yourself to be ticking them off—but the reality doesn’t always match your expectations. Sometimes your dream job no longer feels like a “dream,” or the vision of “having it all together” looks more like ordering UberEATS for the third night in a row instead of going to your planned Pilates class on ClassPass. (Maybe that one’s just me?)

This book takes you through Bridget’s own ‘Saturn Return’ in a frank and honest monologue, exploring what it feels like to face those heavy-hitting questions and emotions that surface during this transformative time. Bridget tackles it all with humor and raw authenticity, making this an incredibly relatable read.

If you loved All I Ever Wanted Was To Be Hot by Lucinda Price (aka Froomes), you’ll devour Figuring Out Thirty like freshly made guac and chips.

[Diana Todorovski · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book doesn’t even deserve a star. Lost me on page six in this paragraph “Speaking of, I also want to acknowledge my privilege as a middle-class, cisgender white woman and that my experience is not every experience. I know the hardships I have faced are minute compared…” from that moment I regretted spending a dollar, let alone $37 on this book. The author and I are completely different people with different world views and perspectives, so I knew reading this book wouldn’t make me wiser, but would annoy me. Life is too short to read subpar stories.

[Naomi Noor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Feel like this is more of an autobiography than a self help. A decent amount of this book were already things I knew so were relatable and relevant, some not so much

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first few chapters I was unimpressed and probably would have given the book 2 stars. I didn’t relate to anything or find it interesting, maybe because I hadn’t heard of the author before. There is a chapter maybe half way through the book about her career and I think that helps to get to know her better, from there I enjoyed it more. I found the chapters on children, feminist marriage, body image, and friendship interesting but still not that relatable. Turns out I am loving my current 30 year old vibe so if that’s all I can take away from this book I think that’s okay! Definitely going to read her first book about endometriosis though as I was recently diagnosed and haven’t read that much on the topic.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book and related to it on so many levels. A month before I turned 30, I ended a 2 year relationship after moving states for this person, giving up a job I loved and moving out of the awesome apartment I shared with my best friend. The day I turned 30, I moved into a little place of my own and in doing so, started an unconventional journey of independence. Bridget’s book was a constant exercise in self reflection, challenging me to really put thought behind the ‘why’ of doing things. I feel like my 30s are amazing years, but would be lying if I said those feelings of self doubt and comparison did not exist. Bridget’s words reminded me that we are all on our own journeys and it is a privilege to be on these - why always rush to the finish line?

[Katelyn Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was perfectly fine. I suspect that if I were more familiar with Bridget Hustwaite prior to reading this it would have had more of an emotional impact on me, but as I am not this book feel like a summary of the lessons of my twenties as opposed to a guide for actually "figuring out" my thirties. Mostly anecdotal, not many actual strategies. It has, however, pointed me towards several other current voices in Australian pop culture that I am interested following going forward.

[Kayla Greensill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book!! Although some chapters felt really personal and specific to Bridget, there was a lot that I really resonated with. Definitely a lot of topics that I have internal struggles with daily and topics that my friends and I talk about regularly. It was reassuring that it is a universal feeling going into your 30s about what you have or haven’t accomplished!

[Hannah LiRosi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved. This was incredibly comforting and felt like any conversation I’d have with my girlfriends (probably because we have or will). As I approach my own thirties it’s nice to acknowledge our feelings are common. Bridget’s final thoughts “we need to stop striving for happily ever after by a certain age and we need to stop using thirty as the supposed deadline” - preach.

[Vas · Rating 4 out of 5]

a very real and raw look at how 30 (and the years that follow) has looked for Bridget. As a girly who is approaching 30 next year this was super interesting, I'm currently in my Saturn return and facing some of the things Bridget was, I found it incredibly interesting to hear how these past few years have played out for her!

[Melanie Arthur · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a ‘95 baby this book came at exactly the right time!

I just want to share this with all of my friends. There’s truly something in it for everyone regardless of the Joy Journey they are on.

Thank you Bridge! Bring on May and the next decade, I’m ready ♥️💗

[Ellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The more of these kinds of books I read the more I am confronted with grown women realising things I figured out when I was 8.

Idk if I am just impervious to all societal pressures (brag) or if there’s already a huge generational gap in the media I consumed as someone born in 1995 compared to 1991, but it sounds rough to live inside an older millennial woman’s mind (looking at you too Dolly Alderton)

[Maddi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good perspective