Vegetable Intervention

by Michael La Ronn

All Neal Kresge wanted to do was go to the grocery store for a midnight snack. Unfortunately, he meets a giant, talking bell pepper who has other plans—an encounter that will change his life forever.

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Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 2014

About the author

Science fiction and fantasy on the wild side!

Michael La Ronn is the author of many science fiction and fantasy novels including the Android X, Eaten, and The Last Dragon Lord series.

In 2012, a life-threatening illness made him realize that life is too short. He’s devoted his life to writing ever since, making up whatever story makes him fall out of his chair laughing the hardest. He’s also a total Final Fantasy geek.

If you're new to Michael's work, visit this link to grab his $1 Series Starters--->www.michaellaronn.com/seriesstarters

Reviews

[Mills · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's perhaps fortunate that I was in a weird mood when picking a short story to read last night. Let's be honest - this is a story about a man who meets a giant talking vegetable. The last time I read something that sounded so surreal from an author I don't know was Gordon: a Tale of Heartbreak and Adventure.

I was in the mood for some odd humour and I knew I'd picked right when I noticed this while flicking through the legal bumf to get to the story:

'Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. This is a book about anthropomorphic vegetables and processed foods, for Pete’s sake.'

The story centres around Neal, a devoted Junk Food - erm - Junkie. On a trip to the supermarket, one Phil Capsicum, talking pepper, tries to save him from a heart attack by convincing him to eat vegetables. Neal could not be less grateful.

'My response hurt him. He hung his head, and the sparkle in his eyes faded. “If you want me to go, I’ll go...” “I don’t care where you go, as long as it’s out of my sight.” Phil shook his head, and a nearby artichoke sobbed.'

Unsurprisingly, Neal actually does have a heart attack and then the battle lines really are drawn: will Phil and Neal's wife Marcy win the battle for Neal's heart and stomach, or will Neal choose Artemus the Cheeseburger over health and conjugal bliss?

'At one point in every man’s life, he has to make a decision. For some, it’s simple, like choosing whether to put ketchup or barbecue sauce on your hot dog. For others, it’s more complicated, like deciding between atomic wings and bacon-wrapped tater tots at a Super Bowl party. And heaven help the guys at Hooters. Me? Well, I had to choose between a cheeseburger and conjugal love, and I had already made my choice... I pushed Phil aside, jumped on Artemis’s bun, and dug my fingers in. Artemus sprinted down the hall, knocking Marcy down as he passed. "Sayonara, sweetie!"

A surreal but entertaining short read.