For Valerie: the story of my sister’s death at the hands of her husband and it’s devastating aftermath

by David French

In June 2019, Valerie French Kilroy was brutally murdered by her husband at their home near Westport, while her three young sons lay in bed. For her brother David and the rest of her family, it was the beginning of a battle against a system unprepared to protect the three innocent children whose father remains their legal guardian, despite being convicted of their mother's murder.
From the devastating shock of hearing of his sister's death to the multiple criminal trials before the guilty verdict was delivered, David describes the issues his family faced in the aftermath of Valerie's murder. He provides a deeply personal insight into Valerie's marriage and the hidden struggles she faced in the run-up to her murder.
This book is both a heartfelt tribute to Valerie's life and legacy and an urgent call to rethink the way our society responds to domestic homicide.

320 pages, Paperback

First published May 15, 2025

About the author

David French is the brother of Valerie French, murdered by her husband in 2019. As the eldest of five, along with his other three sisters he has been drawn into the complex aftermath of the killing. David grew up on the family farm in West Cork in the 1970s, attended UCC and has worked in IT in Ireland and abroad. He lives in Wicklow and is a keen motorcyclist.

Reviews

[Shane Colton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good read. Well researched in terms of case law and femicide within the domestic household and raises some valid points about access to children in instances where a parent kills the other parent.

[Denise O'Meara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Valerie lived in County Mayo, in the west of Ireland, and was murdered by her husband, Kilroy. In this powerful and deeply moving book, her brother David French attempts to give Valerie the voice that was taken from her the day her life was violently ended.
For Valerie is not just an account of the tragedy itself, but a stark examination of its aftermath, the life sentence endured by the victim’s family, and the disturbing gaps in the Irish legal system that often favour perpetrators. French lays bare how the law can enable murderers to inherit from their victims and silence families while legal proceedings unfold. One of the most heart-breaking aspects is the impact on Valerie’s children, who were forced to grow up without their mother, but who’s father remains their legal guardian despite murdering their mother, and how Valerie’s family only got to meet them once in the last year. I hope this book will go some way to help them see how much they were loved by both their mother and her family when they are older.
David French does an admirable job of situating Valerie’s story within a broader, harrowing context: women across the world are killed by their partners every day. Valerie’s life was unique, but her death is tragically familiar. The excuses men use for killing their partners are often similar and quite often seem to stem from their own insecurities. Many try to claim a “puff of madness” came over them, when in reality, they knew too well what they were doing.
This is an urgent, courageous book. I hope it is read widely, not only by the public but by policymakers who have the power to change the laws that currently protect killers more than their victims.
Rest in peace, Valerie. Your brother did you proud.

[Caroline Mellows · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a society we owe David French a debt of gratitude for sharing this story so we can learn from what happened.

His account of the murder of his beautiful sister Valerie shows that the risk factors for domestic homicide are much more ordinary and closer to home than we’d care to admit.

Valerie’s unique blend of strength, warmth, wit and creativity jumps off the page bringing her character to life in all her vibrancy. It enables us to feel the kaleidoscope of joy she brought to the world, with her beetroot soup, charity shop fashion, her murals. Her love for her children, family and clients is palpable.

Notwithstanding the considerable systemic barriers, David has managed to effect significant change through his determined leadership and advocacy on behalf of Valerie and her children and the countless women and children impacted by domestic abuse and coercive control.

This book is both a tribute and a call to action—reminding us that remembrance must be matched by reform, and that Valerie’s story must never be forgotten.

[Laura McAteer · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent

Thank you to David for sharing the narrative of the awful murder of his sister, an in depth read of perspective from the victim’s family. A much loved daughter sister mother and friend to many who didn’t deserve for her life to end in the cruelty of her murder.

[Jessica ONeill · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly important book to read for both men and women about the tragic murder of poor Valerie, an exceptional woman who had such a beautiful soul and so much to offer the world.