Between one of the most bland and uninteresting pairs of amateur detectives (who also seem pretty inept) I’ve ever encountered, plus a cast of suspects who all just blend together (how many greedy antiques collectors/thieves does one book need, especially when you don’t bother to characterize them very well?), this book really missed the mark for me.
At one point, there’s this ridiculous presentation Freya (the main protagonist) gives on costume jewelry (the reason for her being on this antique-themed cruise is she’s supposedly an expert on antiques and is there to lecture on them). The presentation reads like a middle school essay cribbed largely from Wikipedia. If the book hadn’t been hammering over and over again how much amazing antique knowledge Freya possesses, one would begin to suspect based on this talk that she really knows absolutely nothing about antiques for all the insight she provides on the subject. Most people with any passing acquaintance with costume jewelry could probably give a similar talk just by making it up on the spot off the top of their heads, that’s how amateur it was.
The chapters also weirdly switched perspectives between Freya’s chapters written in first person and then other characters written in third person. That is an advanced literary technique that should only be attempted by someone who knows what they are doing. But to try to pull that off in a cozy mystery? Just bizarre. This isn’t exactly the most experimental of genres. One of the consequences of this setup is that the reader sometimes knew things before Freya and Carole, thereby negating much of the mystery and sucking the joy from what is supposed to be a pleasant diversion. Who wants to read a mystery that is spoon fed to you?
Also, there was way too much telling versus showing. It was really annoying to keep being told how amazing Arthur (a recently deceased antiques dealer/hunter who left his business to Freya) was, even though he’d been trying to bring down this organization of criminal masterminds (headed by The Collector) unsuccessfully for over twenty years. I just didn’t buy his genius when no evidence was provided to support that. Especially when inept Freya and her ridiculous aunt Carole somehow miraculously manage to do what Arthur couldn’t, with the help of a boring FBI agent, Phil (all of whom seem to not have any idea what is actually going on).
Then there’s the potential romance between Freya and Phil that Carole keeps trying to make happen. These are the most boring, bland people ever. Throwing them together isn’t going to suddenly make them more interesting. Also, they don’t actually get together (although it’s clear that Freya is in denial and secretly interested in such a development), so I guess this is just going to be a slow burn type thing since apparently this will be an ongoing series. Ugh. Who cares? THEY ARE BORING!
The one exception to this is the villager Agatha who picks up a phone call from Freya in the middle of the night, and then musters the whole village into rescuing Freya’s assistant, Sky, who is being held hostage in Freya’s store by a member of the black market organization. Agatha is on top of things and gets the job done in spectacular fashion with her fellow community members. Why is this book not about Agatha, the only competent person is this WHOLE story? Meanwhile Freya and Carole are being stupid and reckless, getting themselves kidnapped and interrogated. Also this collection of black market antique dealers/thieves seem to think that Freya and Carole might be there to join them? Like what? These women clearly don’t know what they are doing and are completely oblivious to what is actually going on. How has this organization managed to operate all these decades when they seem just as inept as the ones trying to track them down? It boggles the mind.
Needless to say, I will not be picking up another of these inane mysteries (I didn’t read the first and certainly don’t plan to do so after slogging through this mess). The writing was unoriginal, the characters uninspired, and the mystery really just a series of events that happened to these annoying people. They failed to solve much of anything, and just blindly stumbled their way into bringing the black market antiquities organization down by crashing their horribly non-secret meeting to pass the torch from the Old Collector to the New Collector. (As an aside, this stupid meeting everyone knows about is being held at Petra in Jordan, and they keep saying the reason it’s being held there is because this is on The Collector’s bucket list of places to visit, but if they are making so much money and retiring from their life of crime soon, why can’t they just go there when they are retired? And then they get there and do very little in the location that couldn’t have just been done back on the boat or anywhere else for that matter, so why even bother? Just to have an Indiana Jones moment maybe? None of this made any sense!)
Such a frustrating read!