Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out

by Kitty Stryker

Balancing a devotion to activism with personal relationships can be incredibly difficult. Kitty Stryker shares her experience as an activist, street medic and relationship educator to help others pursue the important work while maintaining healthy relationships and without burning out.

Both a call to action and a candid memoir, Stryker is open about what she has learned and her perceived limitations. Recognizing that it can feel overwhelming to know how to effectively make change, she encourages readers to consider how they can best advocate for causes they believe in, presenting different types of activism and urging readers to honestly examine their own hesitations.

She also emphasizes that without taking care of our interpersonal relationships, many people burn out of activism at the very time when we need more people on the ground, and offers practical strategies to avoid this and to encourage healthy relationships.

Genres: Nonfiction, Politics

204 pages, Paperback

Published October 17, 2025

Reviews

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book Review: Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out by Kitty Stryker

Kitty Stryker’s Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out is a thought-provoking and deeply personal exploration of the intersection between activism, relationships, and personal well-being. Stryker, known for her work in consent culture and radical relationships, offers a compelling guide for activists and individuals alike on how to navigate the challenges of committed relationships while maintaining their passion for social change.

Premise & Themes
The book delves into Stryker’s own experiences as an activist and her journey of learning to balance her commitment to social justice with her personal life. She explores themes such as burnout, the complexities of radical relationships, and the importance of self-care in sustaining long-term activism. Stryker argues that by rethinking traditional approaches to relationships and activism, individuals can create more resilient and fulfilling lives.

Strengths & Highlights
-Accessible Writing Style: Stryker’s writing is engaging, relatable, and infused with personal anecdotes that make the book feel like a conversation with a trusted friend.
-Practical Advice: The book is rich with practical strategies for managing the stresses of activism, maintaining healthy relationships, and avoiding burnout.
-Intersectional Perspective: Stryker brings an intersectional lens to her discussion, acknowledging the diverse challenges faced by activists from different backgrounds.
-Inspires Reflection: The book encourages readers to reflect on their own practices and consider new ways of approaching activism and personal relationships.

Areas for Improvement
Some readers might find that certain sections could benefit from more concrete examples or case studies to illustrate the concepts discussed. Additionally, while Stryker’s personal narrative is a strength, some readers may wish for a broader range of perspectives to complement her experiences.

Score Breakdown (Out of5)
-Engagement: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5) – The writing is engaging, personal, and relatable.
-Practicality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5) – Offers valuable, actionable advice for activists and individuals in relationships.
-Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5) – Brings a fresh perspective to the challenges of balancing activism and personal life.
-Depth of Insight: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5) – Provides thoughtful insights into the complexities of radical relationships.
-Inspirational Value: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5) – Inspires readers to rethink their approach to activism and relationships.
Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5) – A compelling and insightful guide that will resonate with activists and anyone interested in radical relationships.

Perfect For:
-Activists looking to balance their commitment to social justice with personal well-being.
-Individuals in non-traditional or radical relationships seeking guidance.
-Readers interested in discussions around consent culture and personal growth.

Acknowledgments:
Thank you to NetGalley and Kitty Stryker for providing an advance review copy of Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out in exchange for an honest review.

Final Thought: Love Rebels is a timely and necessary book that challenges readers to rethink the ways in which they engage with activism and personal relationships. Stryker’s work is a valuable contribution to the ongoing conversation about how to live a meaningful, committed, and sustainable life as a change-maker.

[Kitty Stryker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my book, so of course I love it. I would say that it’s probably one of my best books, and one of my most compassionate. I am definitely someone who takes the phrase “do no harm, but take no shit” to heart, and if that is something that intrigues you, then you should check it out! I’m proud of it. I will say that it takes a pretty strong anti-white supremacy stance, along with other types of bigotry against marginalized people, and that it may not be everyone’s cup of tea. That’s OK!

[Manda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I once attended an online “protest training” hosted by a major organization, hoping to learn what to expect and how to prepare. Instead, it was little more than a recap of why the protest was happening—offering no real guidance. This book, however, filled that gap and so much more. It gave me practical insight into whether participating in protests was something I could realistically manage with my disability.

Part memoir, part guide, part reflection, this book blends personal storytelling with accessible education. The author’s lived experiences brought the concepts to life, making them tangible rather than abstract. I especially valued the sections highlighting the many forms of activism beyond marching in the streets, as well as the emphasis on grassroots efforts and building connections within local communities.

This is an empowering, thoughtful read that reminds us there are countless ways to contribute to meaningful change.

My thanks to the author for providing an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Patrick Fassnacht · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great read, from an expert and respected POV. Relatable in its approach with a tenor that suits a range of readers with a range of interests. Stryker's writing is engaging and pulls readers into a collegial conversation around otherwise incendiary topics and stances. With easy-to-employ suggestions and anecdotes, she weaves this all into an ongoing 'conversation' throughout. Surprising us at many points with the depth of where she has led us into this layered and passionate convo.

The author's approach, though coming from a deeply personal and passionate place rife with former and sustained trauma, she speaks with an uncommon compassion for others and their equally deeply-held beliefs. Self-effacing and humble, she brings a knowledge, an experience, homage to the others in her field and work, and nuance to what has become such a fractured chaotic shouting match for most of us these days. The balance and skill with which she handles this conversation is admirable.

Personal, anecdotal, seasoned, emotionally-charged-- yet still tinged with empathy-- Stryker has generated an approachable, impactful, and important talk. For readers who naturally fall along a pretty far-flung spectrum of beliefs and experiences. One merely needs to want to lean into the conversation and hear people. To listen and learn.

Deep and meaty and nuanced all at once, Stryker relied on her personal path and exposure and pain and learning-- and more-- rather than others' research and experiences. Reading at points like a journal of reflection, rather than a social science lesson, she keeps her eyes on sharing and caring-- for self and others-- positing life's lessons empathetically for others who have maybe not taken this reflective sustaining pause for themselves.
Good read. A lot here.

Thank you for the ARC Edelweiss and the chance to preview. Much appreciated.

[Christa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book after requesting it from the author. As someone who has thought of activism in terms of passionate and sustained direct action -- engaging weekly in protests, letter-writing and calling elected officials, and other activities -- yet shied from them because they felt exhausting and inauthentic to me, I really wanted a new perspective.

Stryker's book delivers, and in a way that made me feel deeply seen. Her perspective is as trauma-informed as it gets, because she's lived it. Every paragraph underscores her understanding of the extent to which interpersonal dynamics can complicate activism on both individual and community levels.

This is a book both for those who are burned out, and for those who are afraid of burning out. In that way, it was everything I hoped it would be and then some: I came away with hope that I can find a way to contribute that fits me and who I am and how I'm still healing -- one of the most important takeaways of all for our age.

[Mila · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. I'm a big fan of books that read like I'm sitting at a café listening to someone info dump.
I keep saying I dislike memoir and then I read a memoir mixed with another genre. This was one I did really like. Rather than reading like some self aggrandizing work, Kitty uses her experience to uplift and argue the point she is making. She isn't speaking from a theoretical point, but a very experienced point. As someone who wants to be more involved in my community and help more people this book was very insightful. The writing style kept me invested and it flowed really nicely.

I received an ARC of the book

[Kristen Sollee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written with ferocity, precision, and boundless love, Love Rebels is a powerful antidote to activist overwhelm and burnout. Kitty Stryker is a lifelong radical activist who has seen some shit, and this no nonsense mix of memoir and practical advice and resources is extremely timely. I came away with revitalized ideas about how I can better show up for my community, my relationships, and for myself, tbh. A truly nourishing read. There’s bread and roses to spare within these pages.

[Veronica · Rating 5 out of 5]

During the time it took me to read Love Rebels, I feel like I've had the opportunity to get to know Kitty Stryker a little better, so I want to thank her for that. I received an advanced copy of this book to review, but due to unforeseen medical issues, it ended up taking me longer than I'd like to write this.

Kitty's most radical message is one of both unity and disruption, and not just within one homogenous group with similar political affiliations; she advocates for bridging gaps between people with differing political labels and finding common ground, something almost unheard of in modern politics. She does it with radical goals, of course, but she also does it to make sure her local microcosm functions as a unit of people who are there for each other, which is also - however sadly - a strange notion to many of us today.

Kitty's inclusivity extends beyond my own, and sometimes that made me a little squeamish. I think that's a good feeling, especially when it comes to radical work like rebellion and the outreach necessary to achieve it. We cannot grow if we do not stretch, and stretching can be quite uncomfortable. If we never step outside our comfort zones, we'll never learn or experience anything new, and we certainly won't be living our intersectional values. (Kitty demonstrates hers, multiple times over.)

I could certainly learn a lesson (or fifteen) from Kitty Stryker, and thankfully I have this book as a reference to help me do just that. If you appreciate her work here, you might want to check out the anthology on consent she edited, Ask: Building Consent Culture. Bodily autonomy and consent are such important topics, not only to personally understand, but also to teach and share with others, especially at a time when we are living under a regime that is actively hostile to women and AFAB bodies, devaluing us at every opportunity while condoning and glorifying SA.

TLDR: want to make a difference? Buy Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out. Then read it. Now! It's (almost) never too late (or too early) to change the world.