All of Me Wants All of You

by J.Z. Howard

Dean Nelson searched for loving words to write in the anniversary card to his wife. ‘To my one true love forever,’ he considered writing, but mentally scratched it out. An intriguing mix of love, sex, and spiritual awakening, J. Z. Howard’s All of Me Wants All of You presents a bold portrait of four adults whose relationship crises are in desperate need of some divine intervention. Mired in a sexless marriage, Dean Nelson is at his wit’s end. He seeks refuge with the beautiful Larissa Beaumont, but his conscience demands that he call off the budding relationship. After discovering Dean’s emotional affair, his wife, Kate, confronts Larissa. The two women form an unexpected friendship, however, and Larissa sets out to help Kate mend her perilously shaky marriage. But Larissa herself fears that she’ll never find her soul mate. An introduction to Dean’s friend Trevor Harrington, however, brings renewed faith that maybe love is possible after all. A dramatic tale of passion and faith, All of Me Wants All of You will make readers believe once again.

396 pages, Paperback

First published February 13, 2014

About the author

Hello. I’m J.Z. Howard, the author of All of Me Wants All of You.

I write Edgy Christian Fiction for readers who are frustrated with traditional Christian novels that are too sterile and reflect only “nice” issues in real-life relationships.

My fiction does not shy away from issues of sexuality and pleasure, spiritual confusion and fear. Human relationships are complex, nuanced, and full of emotional and ethical gray areas. In this context, my characters struggle to connect more powerfully with the Sacred to find the guidance, faith, and strength to make choices that edge them closer to each other, and lift them closer to our Creator’s vision for their lives.

I write Edgy Christian Fiction because Jesus was edgy.

I live with my wife and true love (along with our dog “Waffles”) in a cozy home with knotty pine paneling in Minnesota, and enjoy regular get-togethers with my beloved adult daughter and teenage grandson.

Prior to writing full time, I worked for 10 years in television, and for 17 years as a professional addictions counselor helping people to discover the rewards of recovery and joys of staying sober. I’ve also directed award-winning videos and published three addiction recovery books.

Throughout my life and career, I’ve looked at life through the eyes and hearts of people who strive for the very best in their lives. I’ve learned that by developing and balancing both the masculine and feminine qualities in our life, we become more motivated to live selflessly. In that way, we can contribute generously to the lives of others and gradually inherit the magnificent spiritual blessings we were created to enjoy.

My optimism and the inspiration for the good I try to do come from God, the rock of my Christian faith.

J. Z. Howard has earned a reputation among Christian writers and Christian publishers as an excellent Christian fiction author. Discover insight about marriage struggles and other life challenges with his inspirational tales. J. Z. Howard’s contemporary Christian books are engaging and written for those who are lacking intimacy, looking to participate in Christian dating, or simply enjoy romance novels. J. Z. Howard uses experiences from his own walk with God to provide Christian love stories that are realistic, empathetic, and entertaining. If you are looking for edgy Christian fiction, J. Z. Howard’s books are available online and in Christian book stores.

Reviews

[Angie Weber · Rating 5 out of 5]

All of Me Wants All of You is a great look into a problem that does not get easily addressed in marriages. The characters are well developed in the book and you feel as though you know all of them on a personal level. It was a quick read as the author drew you in to the story lines and made you wanting to keep turning the pages as you continued on the characters' journey. I highly recommend this book to those who are in a relationship!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was very impressed with this book. J.Z. Howard delves into the deeper issues that constitute a marriage and speaks of redemption, truth, and faith. It was refreshing and inspiring to read a novel that addressed some of the more difficult problems one faces but also maintained a positive, hopeful attitude for the future. The plot was interesting, the characters were personable, and the whole concept of faith and love intertwining was relatable. If you are looking for a romantic page turner, you have found the one!

[Ellen Zebrun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daring Topic Handled with Grace and Insight
Ellen Zebrun, Reviewer

In this compelling story of marriage, intimacy, connection and community, author JZ Howard handles a daring, difficult topic with grace and insight. Important issues are examined -- how long should someone stay in an unfulfilling marriage? Is there something more to sex than simply the physical act? How does someone balance a partner’s needs -- physical, spiritual and emotional -- with one’s own? The most crucial questions raised by Howard are these: Is there a place for spirituality in the marriage bed? Or are faith and sexuality mutually exclusive?

The four main characters don’t seem to have much in common at first. Dean and Kate’s marriage is in deeper jeopardy than Kate wants to admit. As a single mom, Larissa struggles with balancing independence and parenting a teenager while lamenting her grim childhood in foster care. Trevor knows what he wants in a woman but doubts he will find her. Each character is searching for something -- connection, community, and intimacy. Yet each character has scars -- some are internal, some are external. I enjoyed that each has a personal epiphany of self-awareness by the end.

In his portrayal of these people, Howard makes it easy for us to connect with them. They are completely human, with strengths and struggles, looking to help and be helped by their loved ones. These are original characters that turn stereotypes upside down. Dean craves more intimacy and sexual connection in his marriage, despairing that nothing will ever change. He loves Kate deeply, but needs more from her than she is willing to give. It’s not just about more sex; it’s about a stronger bond on an emotional and spiritual level within the marriage. Kate is afraid of many things -- sex, confrontation, facing her past -- and so fills her life with too many demands and activities. Larissa is connected to her sexuality, but does not understand her value beyond that part of her. Finally, Trevor fears that his physical scars are too much for a romantic partner to look beyond.

What I found most refreshing about the book is how the characters talk about their relationship with God without being preachy, strident or judgmental. They are all in a different place on their faith journey, and each reaches out to others for support. The best part -- no one is an expert, not even the minister, when it comes to interpreting God’s will. They struggle while sharing insights and experiences, but they are all searching to connect with each other and Howard’s storytelling demonstrates their journeys in the most complete way possible.

[Deb Haggerty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deb's Dozen: 12-Word Summary - God designed us for love and beauty, that includes beautiful sex.

Dean Nelson is unhappy. He’s been stuck in a sexless marriage for years. A virile man, Dean cannot understand what has changed his wife, Kate, into someone for whom sex is the last thing on her list. As frequently happens in such situations, Dean is tempted when he meets beautiful, sexy Larissa, the mother of a young man who works in his company’s warehouse. Just when things start to heat up, Dean ends it: he must stay faithful to the vow made to God and to Kate when they were married.

Kate, on the other hand, cannot understand why “all he wants” is sex all the time. She hopes against hope that she can avoid the act again the night of their anniversary when they’ve promised each other massages. She is so busy with church and home and volunteer work and her two daughters along with being the perfect (in all other regards) wife, that sex with Dean is the last thing she has the energy to contemplate.

As Dean researches his situation, he finds that this situation is not at all uncommon – that many marriages are sexless for one reason or another. As Dean explores further, and discusses the situation with his best friend and his pastor, he begins to understand there are two sides to every story. Kate, talking to her friends, expresses her dissatisfaction, and she starts to learn why she so avoids the intimacy of the marriage bed.

We as Christians seem to have pushed sex aside, but we need to remember that God inspired the beautiful Song of Songs. One of the telling quotes from All of Me is “It’s not a lack of love that makes marriages monotonous; it’s a lack of focus. Instead of fleeting moments of pleasure, God wants our marriages to experience greater depths of pleasure and ongoing intimacy that lead us to true inner joy.” And another, “Marital intimacy is the highest priority in God’s divine design, because it symbolizes the intimacy between Himself and His people. God’s nature and His love for people are passionate and intense, not cool or aloof. He is erotic and loves to express that love to those he loves.” While you may not agree with everything Mr. Howard has written, you will be intrigued and educated and entertained all at the same time.

I strongly recommend you read All of Me Wants All of You – no matter if you’re newly married or years wed. You will learn so much about God and yourselves and your marriage.

I was given a copy of this book by All4U Publishers and the BookFun Network.

[Shirley · Rating 5 out of 5]

All of Me Wants All of You
J. Z. Howard

Publ: All4U c. 2014


Kate and Dean Nelson appear to have the perfect married life and the perfect Christian life. Only they know how out of sync their marriage is. They are locked in a sexless-marriage. The trouble with that is that Kate is fine with that, but Dean isn’t. He has tried to understand and do what he thinks he can and should to help the situation. Dean is frustrated, and Kate is angry. The question becomes what is Dean going to do about his frustration and when is Kate going to face her anger and it’s source and deal with it.
Just how far will Kate and Dean fall before they come to grips with the disaster that is their marriage? Dean finds that he must move out of his home for a while to sort things out for himself and to force Kate to deal with just how unsettled their marriage is.
We also meet one of their pastors, Trevor. He is a single 40 year old who knows what is expected of him by God as far as his celibacy is concerned. He is prepared to deal with his life as a single if God requires it of him, but he would really like to have a wife and children. He meets Larissa who is easily the most attractive women he has ever met in many ways. How does he deal with the attraction between them in view of his stand on celibacy especially since Larissa is not a Christian?
Does God intend a married couple to live in celibacy or does he have a different plan? How does God view the marriage bed? Where is sexuality’s place in the life of God’s most cherished creation, the creation made in His image? These questions are openly discussed and dealt with in this book. This book is written from a Christian perspective, but if you are looking for a book to share with your non-adult children this is probably not the book you are looking for. It is open and graphic, but not tasteless. Some of the scenes may make you uncomfortable, but they deal with a part of who we are as people, even people of God.
I have been married for many years and was at first uncomfortable with the way some of the issues in this book were dealt with, but the more I read the more I came to appreciate the openness and honesty with which a very real topic was handled.

I was provided this book through The Book Club Network for my honest review.

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book knowing it was “edgy”. And I have mixed feelings about it as I review it. It has basically 4 main characters: Dean and Kate Nelson, Larissa, and Trevor. Dean is a typical male and wants sex with his wife; his wife Kate doesn’t want sex and consequently it has been ages since they had sex. They are committed Christians and spend a lot of time at church doing church activities. When Dean almost has an affair with Larissa it is a wakeup call to them both. The author portrays all of this so realistically! (He does throw in a few swear words that I could have done without that I don’t read in normal Christian fiction.)

The other part of the story involves Larissa and Trevor. Larissa is a never married, non-Christian mother of a college son. She wants to be in a relationship so has no problems enticing a married man. Trevor, on the other hand, is a committed Christian and pastor so I found his actions not what I would have expected.

Years ago I went to a talk where the speaker explained how vital it is for Christian women to have sex with their husbands since other women would love to get their hands on our good, loving Christian husbands. She went on to advise us to show our love to our husbands through regular sex. I think the author did an excellent job of showing through a story how true that is. Although modesty in the world is to be praised, there is not a place for it in the married person's bedroom. Kate thinks towards the end of the book, “Modesty had been her badge of honor…but it was also an obstacle to pleasure and ecstasy and intimacy.”

I highly recommend this book to anyone married. It does talk about sex but is not vulgar. I would most certainly not recommend this for a teen and although an unmarried person could read it, I personally would not recommend it for my unmarried friends. I received this book from bookfun.org in return for my honest opinion.

[Diana Montgomery · Rating 5 out of 5]

All of Me Wants All of You
By: J.Z. Howard

I really liked this book. Not a topic I normally would read. All of Me Wants all of you is about sensual intimacy. Couples losing that intimacy after having a family raising children and lose what they once had. I think we get so involved in our lives raising the kids doing things need to get done , busy in church activities that we put our life partner aside due to we are to tired. Many reasons to why this happens. Some may even be physical and medical. I loved how the couple came to find each other again. The book spoke of the couples relationship with God and how it was important to them and maintaining their vows to each other. J.Z. Howard had showed that their is 3 parts to a relationship , the husband, the wife and God. I did really enjoy this book, I think most marriages can go through same thing as this couple did even in a Christian marriage. But J.Z. Howard shows there is hope. Loved the characters well written. Thanks J.Z. Howard for this book. I think all couples should read it. This book is written in good taste.

[Elina Vaysbeyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

All of Me Wants All of You is a courageous and emotionally layered novel that explores the intersection of love, intimacy, and spiritual growth. J. Z. Howard presents a nuanced portrayal of four adults navigating relationship crises that challenge not only their emotional bonds but also their deeper sense of purpose and faith. The story approaches themes of desire and commitment with sensitivity, honesty, and introspection.

What makes this book particularly compelling is its willingness to confront difficult questions about marriage, fidelity, and emotional fulfillment while offering a hopeful vision of healing and transformation. The evolving relationships especially the unexpected bond between Kate and Larissa add depth and originality to the narrative. Through its blend of passion and spiritual reflection, the novel inspires readers to think more deeply about intimacy, connection, and what it truly means to commit fully to another person.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

All of Me Wants All of You is a novel that deals with the sensitive subject matter of intimacies within marriage. This is a story of four people. The couple that interested me the most was of course the married couple, Dean and Kate. Dean is positively frustrated with Kate and her lack of intimacy with him, especially in the marriage bed. I honestly felt the most for Dean. I could see how much he loved Kate even though she was distant emotionally and physically from him. I cringed when his time of temptation came and I am glad he chose to honor his marriage vows. I watched as he struggled with making himself happy verses the sacrificial love he decides to show to Kate. I was discouraged when at times he thought of divorce, but I realize he is a human character. I liked that he stood up for Kate in regards to her father and that he realized that he may have been passive about her alcohol problem.
Kate, on the other hand, I really had a hard time connecting with. I was very surprised in the story to find out how long she had pushed Dean to the corner. Always being busy and developing a problem with alcohol was not a healthy situation for her or her marriage. She seemed even physically distant with her own daughters which caused friction in their relationship with Kate. It should have been God, Dean, family, and everything and everyone else in that order. Her parent’s relationship explained a lot. I was relieved when she finally decided to get help, emotionally and physically, and wished she had done so earlier instead of playing the blame game.
God gave us sex for use in the marriage boundary. The marriage bed is holy. We need to walk the straight and narrow with this. It is not a healthy view seeing intimacy as shameful or dirty, or the other way and being promiscuous and engaging in affairs. The world and sometimes the church, especially the enemy has really distorted God’s gift of sex to a married couple.
And I haven’t even said anything about Trevor or Larissa….. :-)
Warning: This book deals with the topic of sex, there are raw emotions, and there is some bad language. This book is not graphic in nature however it is on the edgier side of Christian fiction.
I thank you for the chance to read a very interesting and thought provoking read. I received my copy from The Book Club Network, Inc. for an honest review and the opinions are my own.

[Heather Bireley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I must admit that I was surprised at the flavor of this book as I got into the first few chapters. I was intrigued enough to keep reading it. I agree that this should be a discussion that we need to have more of. And I also need to admit that when my pastor talks about sex it does have a tendency to make me uncomfortable.

We have two main characters in this book - Dean and Kate. As the book starts, it's obvious that Kate is trying to avoid "making love" with her husband which as a happily married woman, seemed very odd to me. She worked very hard at it. And you really have to feel sorry for Dean because I felt throughout the entire book that he really did love Kate and he wanted their marriage to work, but everyone needs to feel loved and part of feeling loved in a marriage is by making love. It really surprised me by the numbers that Dean found when he started researching how many people actually live their lives in a loveless marriage.

I was impressed by Kate's willingness to try to open up and fix things in her marriage. I think that a lot of times we are good with the status quo and we just go on thinking it doesn't need to change or that we don't need to change. I think at first that Kate did have this attitude.

I also enjoyed how the author took Larissa's view on church and was able to turn it around in a loving manner. God loves all of us and he wants us to love Him and come to him. He is not a god that breathes fire when we don't do things right. Jesus came to forgive our sins and he wants us to look to him for our help.

I did really enjoy this book and all of its layers. Thank you for the opportunity to read it. I received a free copy of this book from The Book Club Network for my honest review.

[Linda Strawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I agreed to read J.Z. Howard's All of Me Wants All of You on The Book Club Network, I knew it would be "edgy". I expected sexual intimacy, or lack there of, to be discussed in more detail compared to most Christian novels I've read, however, the author did not hold back at all. At first, I was uncomfortable, but as I read on I realized the characters in the book experienced issues we all face at some point in our lives. Age, medical procedures, pregnancy, and health problems all have a profound effect on our sex drive. Combine this with how we've been influenced by the Church, the world, and our ancestors, it's no wonder couples have issues with sex in real life. These concerns are tastefully addressed in this book. In fact, the author takes it a step further by reminding the reader there is a righteous side to sex. This subject we've been afraid, and even repulsed, to talk about should be viewed as a wedding gift from God. It was the Lord, after all, Who designed our bodies to respond to sex in a pleasing manner. Why would He do that if we were meant to despise it?
J.Z. Howard did a wonderful job developing the characters in this book and presented the subject in a professional, tasteful manner. There are curse words and some graphic content in the book, so be warned if you're thinking about reading it. I don't feel it's over the top, though.
I'd recommend this book to all married Christian couples and people considering marriage. This is not a book for immature young adults and teenagers.

[Tima · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dean has reached his limit. His wife won't respond to him and he's actually thinking of sleeping with another woman. He's a Christian, so technically he knows better. But it's been years since his wife was intimate with him and he's not sure how much more of it he can take. Does God really expect him to continue like this? His wife, Kate, can't believe that her husband would even consider looking at someone else. She feels very close to Dean and cherishes the intimacy they share, even if it doesn't include sex.

The book really takes a hard look at how Christians view marriage and intimacy. It also showcases how men and woman view intimacy differently. The author over dramatized the characters and some situations to bring out some points that might have been lost had they seemed more typical. The dialogue between the characters was authentic and insightful. It might be a difficult read for those uncomfortable with talking about sex or those dealing with this situation. But these types of things really happen and the author did a great job of presenting everything in a tasteful and spiritual manner. I really think the book will be helpful to anyone who is facing the issues talked about in the story.

I received this book free of charge from Book Club Network in exchange for my honest review.

[Jennie · Rating 2 out of 5]

***I won this book free on goodreads.com***

some spoilers included

I tried so hard to "get into" this book but for whatever reason it wasn't my thing. I don't know if it was the plot line of a man "having an affair" - which wasn't even really acted upon before it was discovered...or what. I found it unrealistic that the woman the husband nearly cheated with would be giving advice to the wife of said husband. I understand the main point behind the book - that women should be open to intimacy with their spouse. I know it is a valid issue to discuss. I just wasn't able to find truth in some of the words.

[Deb · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just could not get past Chapter 4.. what could have been an interesting story , for me , turned out to be a bit "hokey" with the references to "prayer, the Lord, etc".. basically a married couple, wife not interested in sex, husband wants intimacy, so they each pray to the Lord to help them.. really?? Just not for me..

[Virginia Winfield · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story was a good one. I received this from bookfun.org for a fair and honest opinion.

[Ally Web · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't finish this book. It was way too religious for me.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF