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Hitchy Feet: A grown-up's guide to running away from home and accidentally getting a life
This is not a travel guide. This is a story about travelling around Australia trying to avoid strangulation by strangers while attempting amateur burglary. No, really. It is.
John Card was a high-school science teacher with a good job and promising prospects. However, he was also burned out, bored out of his mind and lacking real direction in his life. Like most people at some point, he dreamed of packing it all in and running away from home. However, unlike most people, he actually did. After asking his mum to help him pack his backpack that is…
This is one man’s very funny account of his time hitchhiking 15000 kilometres around Australia in search of adventure and new way of thinking about life. Along the way he encounters nude walkers, has abuse hurled at him from passing cars, is introduced to the thrills of riding on the roof of a ute at 120km an hour, drinks a lot of beer, eats a lot of bananas (going cheap in QLD), sees a lot of road signs and antagonises a lot of people. He also discovers that the enormous generosity of ordinary Australians, and reignites his own passion and meaning for life.
John Card was a high-school science teacher with a good job and promising prospects. However, he was also burned out, bored out of his mind and lacking real direction in his life. Like most people at some point, he dreamed of packing it all in and running away from home. However, unlike most people, he actually did. After asking his mum to help him pack his backpack that is…
This is one man’s very funny account of his time hitchhiking 15000 kilometres around Australia in search of adventure and new way of thinking about life. Along the way he encounters nude walkers, has abuse hurled at him from passing cars, is introduced to the thrills of riding on the roof of a ute at 120km an hour, drinks a lot of beer, eats a lot of bananas (going cheap in QLD), sees a lot of road signs and antagonises a lot of people. He also discovers that the enormous generosity of ordinary Australians, and reignites his own passion and meaning for life.
- GenresTravelNonfiction
224 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2014
14 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
August 3, 2014
A travel memoir based on the author’s experience of hitchhiking around Australia in the late 2000s, Hitchy Feet introduces us to John Card, a Victorian high school science teacher who tires of the classroom and seeks adventure.
The plot is rather thin: Card has designs on becoming a radio broadcaster, and hitches a counterclockwise path up the east coast toward a university in Perth for an admission interview. This stated goal is something of a MacGuffin, though, as much of the book is instead devoted to narrating the situations Card finds himself in while hitching, as well as putting his past actions under the microscope while reflecting on the man he has become.
Card was 33 at the time of undertaking his journey, and frequently downcast about his lack of overarching life direction. While in the midst of the book’s most amusing chapter — an all-night drive through the Pilbara with "Joe", who sinks a carton of beer and climbs onto the roof while the vehicle moves at 120 clicks per hour — Card is handed a stack of porno mags by his gregarious companion, a friendly gesture that sends the author into a tailspin of melancholy. He craves intellectual stimulation, rather than something that’ll give him an erection. "I needed a broadsheet newspaper, a certainty for keeping me flaccid," he writes.
Card’s experiences as a high school teacher here and in England are well-drawn, and I’d liked to have heard more about this aspect of his life. He admits his initial passion for the job was soon overwhelmed by its challenges — a common story among young teachers — which eventually became cynicism. He believes our public secondary school system plays a vital part in capitalism, as he and his colleagues "looked after children while their parents made money". Card claims to have no answers to this troubling situation, but his observations from the coalface of a difficult profession are valuable nonetheless.
While struggling with the job at a London school, he almost clobbers a mouthy Serbian refugee who claims to have seduced his girlfriend. "Admitting my violent longings caused deep conflict within me," he writes.
These desires are rooted in Card’s experience of being bullied as a child. The trauma has carried into his adult life and there are times where the author has to fight himself to keep the violence at bay. Add booze to the equation, though, and the task becomes harder. Directionless men and alcohol seem to go hand-in-hand, and Card is no exception.
These stories tend to be funny, but his segues can be weak: at one point, Card writes awkwardly: "By the time I’d stopped typing late in the afternoon, I’d obtained a raging beer thirst. I quenched it."
In the heat of the moment, though, his narration is compelling, especially when his inner monologue kicks in. The following section occurs after meeting some unsavoury parents at a pub in Richmond, western Queensland:
"I lay down on the torn mattress, thinking of Joe’s kids. I had the impression he would call them all little cunts, all the time, because of the ease with which it rolled off his tongue. I started to reflect on how this journey’s voyeuristic quality was patronising on my part. Was I putting myself in these situations in order to feel better about myself? Reaffirming myself as middle class? Was I just there for a laugh? Was I having a midlife crisis? Was I a snob? These were unanswered questions, but I felt very unlike the Joes of the world. Maybe even more middle class."
Ultimately, it’s this sort of honesty that elevates Hitchy Feet from the middling travel memoir established in the opening pages to the salient insight into the psyche of a smart young Australian man with which we finish.
(Originally reviewed for The Weekend Australian on August 2, 2014.)
The plot is rather thin: Card has designs on becoming a radio broadcaster, and hitches a counterclockwise path up the east coast toward a university in Perth for an admission interview. This stated goal is something of a MacGuffin, though, as much of the book is instead devoted to narrating the situations Card finds himself in while hitching, as well as putting his past actions under the microscope while reflecting on the man he has become.
Card was 33 at the time of undertaking his journey, and frequently downcast about his lack of overarching life direction. While in the midst of the book’s most amusing chapter — an all-night drive through the Pilbara with "Joe", who sinks a carton of beer and climbs onto the roof while the vehicle moves at 120 clicks per hour — Card is handed a stack of porno mags by his gregarious companion, a friendly gesture that sends the author into a tailspin of melancholy. He craves intellectual stimulation, rather than something that’ll give him an erection. "I needed a broadsheet newspaper, a certainty for keeping me flaccid," he writes.
Card’s experiences as a high school teacher here and in England are well-drawn, and I’d liked to have heard more about this aspect of his life. He admits his initial passion for the job was soon overwhelmed by its challenges — a common story among young teachers — which eventually became cynicism. He believes our public secondary school system plays a vital part in capitalism, as he and his colleagues "looked after children while their parents made money". Card claims to have no answers to this troubling situation, but his observations from the coalface of a difficult profession are valuable nonetheless.
While struggling with the job at a London school, he almost clobbers a mouthy Serbian refugee who claims to have seduced his girlfriend. "Admitting my violent longings caused deep conflict within me," he writes.
These desires are rooted in Card’s experience of being bullied as a child. The trauma has carried into his adult life and there are times where the author has to fight himself to keep the violence at bay. Add booze to the equation, though, and the task becomes harder. Directionless men and alcohol seem to go hand-in-hand, and Card is no exception.
These stories tend to be funny, but his segues can be weak: at one point, Card writes awkwardly: "By the time I’d stopped typing late in the afternoon, I’d obtained a raging beer thirst. I quenched it."
In the heat of the moment, though, his narration is compelling, especially when his inner monologue kicks in. The following section occurs after meeting some unsavoury parents at a pub in Richmond, western Queensland:
"I lay down on the torn mattress, thinking of Joe’s kids. I had the impression he would call them all little cunts, all the time, because of the ease with which it rolled off his tongue. I started to reflect on how this journey’s voyeuristic quality was patronising on my part. Was I putting myself in these situations in order to feel better about myself? Reaffirming myself as middle class? Was I just there for a laugh? Was I having a midlife crisis? Was I a snob? These were unanswered questions, but I felt very unlike the Joes of the world. Maybe even more middle class."
Ultimately, it’s this sort of honesty that elevates Hitchy Feet from the middling travel memoir established in the opening pages to the salient insight into the psyche of a smart young Australian man with which we finish.
(Originally reviewed for The Weekend Australian on August 2, 2014.)
July 15, 2017
Very poor. Badly written by an irritating person. Despite being subtitled a "grown up's guide" it reads like it was written by someone who has never grown up. I found it self-indulgent and lazy, and gave up on it quite early.
December 15, 2015
This is the line where I officially gave up: "She spoke like a tramp on tramp steroids, but she has an arse like an arse on arse vitamins."
March 7, 2016
Started off enjoying it but then annoyed of every sentence being seen as a opportunity to crack a joke. Some of it funny but mostly just felt too much effort was about trying to be a funny guy rather than telling the story. Gave up during chapter 9 so maybe not fair to rate and review it but I really felt life wasn't long enough to justify reading it to the end.
April 23, 2015
Last two chapters were heart warming.
July 3, 2015
An easy and entertaining read!
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews