This is my third and successful attempt to discover the value in this book. I think neurotypical folk may enjoy the meandering more. If you have ADHD, my directions make it operationally readable.
If you seek a definite clear tool then at the back of the book he recommends meditation, Tai Chi, yoga, mantra, and guided meditation. Guided meditation simply means the first two of the Buddha’s foundations of mindfulness. Other tools include morning stretch, deep breathing, and centring or grounding.
The 26 pages from page 22 to 48 present the theoretical basis.
In a nutshell, stress load is how much we can bear, stress shock is overwhelming or overloading stress.
One powerful missed opportunity is the idea of a stress account. The account has Debit and Credit and specific actions can invest or withdraw and of course some stress accounts compound faster than others as well. This metaphor is so rich that it might well be named the serenity account and a whole book written around it.
The top 10 stresses are interesting from my perspective. Being late is the result of greed. Frustration is the result of wanting. Doubt of ability is shame or false pride and lack of humility. Feeling over extended is enabling or codependency. Lack of time for relaxation is low self-worth. Feeling tense can indicate organic issues or lack of time and training to relax. Negative thinking indicates a lack of training in cognitive therapy. Family conflicts indicate attachment and control. Experiencing burnout is a major opportunity for re-alignment of values through reflection and meditation. Feeling lonely is a profound stimulus for social skill development. They are interesting but not discussed in the book. Another missed opportunity.
Masking, covering, attention seeking, and coping are actually defined as stress strategies rather than stress relief strategies. This is a highly original insight. Instead, he suggests choice and reframe.
The cognitive interventions are interesting but frankly unclear. He seems to suggest asking what is the value and benefit of the stressful situation. He suggests replacing coping with choice and specifically choosing strength and learning instead of stress. He suggests to state a threat and then reframe it verbally as a challenge.
Page 62 has some baffling ideas to prevent stress. Posture, mind games, positive videos, say thank you, replace negative emotions with positive emotions, simply general sentiments.
By contrast the legacy setting exercise on page 73 seems marvellously effective and original, and in fact boosts the overall value of the book.
“Believing that your qualities are carved in stone – the fixed mindset – creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over.” - Carol Dweck. Explains compulsive workaholism.
All of page 95 is marvellous and one must ask, so what?
Benefit versus symptom, page 102, doesn’t really describe how to make the shift from seeing stress as a symptom to seeing the benefit of a release of trapped energy and potential. Like, how do you do that?
Stress medication equals perpetuation, but stress education equals elimination. Author, page 155.
I feel like there’s a lot of missed opportunities for clear sharp operational directions, but the author is a master coach communicating valuable ideas through the limitations of a book, and he does a magnificent job.
There are original ideas and there are extremely helpful ideas hidden among this text and I would like to see a completely revised edition weaponising and operationalising these ideas and practices.
I know this is quite a harsh review because I found the book impenetrable at first. But it does have good ideas and this review outlines where to find them.