Ly to Me

by E.S. Portman

Lyra

Survival is what I know.

Before my mama left, she made it clear—you want something in life, a man can usually be used long enough to get it.

Ten years ago, I let that concept slip through my fingers.

Meeting Carver Roland changed my thinking.

Until the night I left.

Now that I’m back, he’s turned into nothing short of a monster. A beautiful devil disguised in tattoos and cowboy boots.

He promises to make me wish I’d never come back to Alliston Springs.

I didn’t want his attention all those years ago, but it seems like he’s been plotting for my return.

And I’m falling into his trap once again.



Carver

Ten years ago, my life got flipped upside-down.

It all started with a girl—Lyra Thomas.

There weren’t many good things known about her by anyone in Alliston Springs.

Showing them to me was her first deception.

Now, she’s returned, and my brain can’t stop thinking of all the ways I can use that to my advantage before I force her the hell back out.

She may have known the boy she left, but she’s not ready for the man I became.

I want the truth. I want to know the reason for my demise.

And giving her thirty days and a new title should be all I need to drag it out of her.

Genres: Dark Romance, Romance, Enemies To Lovers, Cowboy Romance, Second Chance, Westerns, Dark

500 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 30, 2025

Reviews

[Ana · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, I don't usually go for dark romance. But there is something about a book from ES Portman that gets me hooked. And Carver, he had me in all my feels. What a man who you can love and hate at the same time. Lyra as well as one of those friends who you want to do good but at the same, she isn't cooperating lol these 2 are walking red flags but their relationships work very well. Really enjoyed this book. Recommended for sure.

[Rew · Rating 5 out of 5]

♦️That laugh was all I needed to know that she was the only one I wanted in this world. As long as Lyra Roland was by my side, I’d feel whole. As long as I had her, I needed nothing else. I was hers, and she was mine—just like it should’ve always been. She was my entire world, and for once, I had my world right where it should’ve always been— Home.♦️

i love love loveeee this book it took me out of my reading slump.
after 10 years leaving everything behind
Lyra decided to come back to Alliston
and guess who still lives there ?! Carver Roland her first and only lover

Carver is amazing at first i thought he's an asshole, a walking red flag but nopeee he's perfect i fell in love with him obviously😂🔥🌶️

wonder if Grant and Sophia will have their own book

[Amanda Hopwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

ES Portman hit it out of the park !!
This is a COUNTRY dark romance not cowboy … just fyi

Lyra heads back to her home town after ten years and runs into her ex Carver… he strikes up a bet with her for a fake narrator for 30 days so he can get his inheritance. Now all the secrets from the part are coming to light

[Elizabeth Speechley · Rating 1 out of 5]

A dark cowboy romance? Idk about that. Personally I don’t think a man that owns a 100,000 acre pot plant should be considered a cowboy just because he wears a cowboy hat and rides a horse around the plant. This book wasn’t really my cup of tea but I’ll try anything. Made me really sad because when it was advertised as a dark cowboy romance I was really interested. But I feel like it was poorly advertised. Read the Content Warnings at the beginning. Please!

With all that being said, let me talk about the specifics of this book. First of all the characters. Lyra and Carver are the most infamous red flags I have ever read about and I cannot read these characters without wishing them absolute hell of a life. I understand there was trauma and whatever in their lives but they are really not good people and I don’t care to witness their happily ever after.

The plot. Was so slow. I understand that this was labeled a dark romance so most of it was going to be smutty but seriously I don’t even think the plot even mattered to the book which I just can’t get behind either.

The author’s writing is really well done which is the only thing that kept me going with the book. She does have a talent! I just think that two grumpy black cats in a relationship is not fun. All personal opinion.

[Virginie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ly To Me by E.S. Portman

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨ (4.5/5)

This one’s dark, spicy, and full of bite. 😈🔥
The FMC is a total badass, and the MMC? Dangerously attractive—with a whole lot of metal… and I mean piercings, not playlists. 😉🧷

The story kept me hooked with its intensity, solid pacing, and just the right amount of unpredictability. The dynamic between the main characters swings from laugh-out-loud funny to why-is-it-so-hot-in-here kind of intense.

Loved it. Huge thanks to the author for the ARC!

⸻

Ly To Me de E.S. Portman

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨ (4.5/5)

Un roman dark, spicy, et plein de piquant. 😈🔥
La FMC est une badass assumée, et le MMC ? Dangereusement attirant… avec pas mal de métal… et je parle de piercings, pas de musique. 😉🧷

L’histoire est bien rythmée, intense, et pas trop prévisible. Et la dynamique entre les deux personnages principaux ? Un mélange parfait entre moments hilarants et scènes qui te donnent chaud pour de vrai.

Bref, j’ai adoré. Merci à l’autrice pour la copie ARC !

[Denna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this!
I don’t have much experience with reading dark country romance, but after Ly to Me, that might just change.

The story of Ly and Carver had me hooked from the very first page, and with every chapter, I was eagerly waiting to get more glimpses into their past. That’s what I fell in love with first – how it all began, all those sweet moments, watching their relationship grow and shift with every choice they made.
And then came the present timeline, and I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.

I honestly don’t have a single bad thing to say about this book. The chemistry between the main characters? Phenomenal.
The side characters? I need more of them, please!
And the spicy scenes? So well written – hot as hell!

I loved the way the author captured both the tender and the traumatic moments, and I’m beyond excited to see where this series goes next.

[Ava Ly · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the moment they met there was an undeniable connection. Lyra and Carver were meant to be- and they were also meant to go through some messed up stuff... This is a story about second chances and true love but trust none of it comes easily.

This book was fun. The spice was great and I adored this couple so much. I would have liked it to be condensed with a bigger payoff, but With that said I read this book in 2 days. The banter, spice, and setting were throughly entertaining and I’ll absolutely be reading more from this world. There are several scenes I’ll be thinking about forever 😮‍💨🫠


🌶️🌶️🌶️

[BLK 13 · Rating 1 out of 5]

ugh….I tried to push thru then realized why am I trying!?! just bad in so many levels.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

okay, to be honest, this one wasn’t my cup of tea. don’t get me wrong, i do enjoy dark romance, but i personally need more of a plot with the spice, and this one just didn’t hit that mark for me.

i had a hard time connecting with the characters. the relationship felt forced at times and a bit surface level, and it was missing that emotional depth and connection.

the pacing felt a little drawn out in some parts, and it did start to feel a bit repetitive as the story went on.

that being said, i did enjoy the audiobook side of things. the narrators did a great job, and i enjoyed listening to the dual narration.

overall, this was an okay read, just not the best match for me personally.

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞:
dark cowboy romance
second chance romance
enemies to lovers
dual pov / timelines
marriage of convenience
possessive / obsessive mmc

[Erica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew next to nothing about this book when picking it up, but it did not disappoint. It has lots of spice while also keeping a good storyline. The characters are all interesting and suck you in. It is dark so check your triggers first.

[bookish1.sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my first (dark) country romance and definitely not my last!

I don't think we can call it a cowboy romance cause the MMC is not really a cowboy, but he is a weed farmer, southern and wears cowboy boots so... tomayto tomahto? (btw thank you for that new kink Elsa! I thought I hadn't any left to unlock but here we are adding cowboy boots and horse reins to my list!)

I ate this book up! I absolutely loved Lyra! Her sassiness was everything! The banter between her and Carver was amazing and had me chuckling multiple times! And the way he stayed so calm against her feistiness was swoonworthy!

Though he definitely was an asshole and I would have the same reactions as Lyra, there's just something about a man asserting dominance in that kind of way that is super sexy.

I also loved the dual timeline. It really added another dimension, making you relive there history with them instead of just "hearing" about it. It lets you learn about them and their character developement from a whole different angle.

We go back and forth between ten years ago and now. Between before Lyra just left Carver without a word and when she comes back ten years later. Lyra is not who she is trying to come off as and Carver can see right through her but hasn't quite been able to get her secrets out. Not to mention him having his own secrets too.

Of course the answer to that problem is a marriage contract, a little hate f*cking and bondage or at least in Carvers mind and I loved every minute of it!

Who can blame him when it works and the spice is spicing!

For me the butterflies were really the cherry on top. Butterflies are special to me and them being special to Lyra too was amazing to read.

Can't wait to have the physical copy as a trophy on my shelves!

[Shyla S · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ly to Me is book 1 in the Devils of Alliston Springs series’s by E.S. Portman. This is a dark country romance with a with a sassy/fiery FMC and an OTT revenge driven MMC. And… oh my goodness, from the first page till the very last, you are pulled into our MCs 10yr history… So much angst, drama, banter, fire & off the charts spice! You’ll laugh, cry, roll your eyes, swoon and probably blush!

With 2 timelines, with the past, you get how they met, fell in love and how it all came crashing dow. With the present, we see how they are confronting & dealing with that past. Both are hurt. The stuff they went through causes your heart to hurt and I was literally rooting for their HEAs.

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤/𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙚 = Carver Roland and Lyla Thomas
𝘾𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 = No
𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚 = Yes
𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙚(𝙨) = Dark Romance • Second Chance • Enemies to Lovers • Small Town • High School Sweethearts • Touch her & d!e • Obsessive/possessive/dominant MMC • Alternating bw past & present • Bully / Revenge • Marriage of.. “Convenience”? • Dual POVs • Hard fought but well earned HEA.
𝙏𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨 = Language • Explicit Sexual Scenes (I.e.
Dub-Con, hand necklaces, Bondage & Restraints, Knife play, Primal Play, Leashing of the FMC by the MMC, etc.) • Drug Use & Sales • Physical Violence/Fighting • Retelling of Sexual Harassment & Sexual Assault (mildly described) • Parental Death • and a lot more!!

Content Warnings are listed in the book and on the author's website. It is suggested to check the warnings before reading.

𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙇𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙡 = 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙧 𝙍𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 = ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Crystal Rivera · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all I want to preface this review to say that this is a DARK COUNTRY ROMANCE not a COWBOY romance so if this is not your cup of tea then move on. That being said, I LOVED this book! I had the wonderful opportunity to BETA read and ARC read this book and it had me in a chokehold from the first page. Carver and Lyra had this instant banter and connection even when they couldn’t stand each other.. snippets of time within the book told the story of how they became who they were today… great banter and wit. Lyra was sassy and fiercely independent. Carver was the type of obsessive that you might balk at BUT it worked for him. He only was that obsessive with HER. There were moments that made me melt, moments that made me sigh and moments that made me cry with these two.. I can’t wait to see more of this series from Elsa! Bravo!

[Heather Saizar · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Neither one of us spoke…our bodies were saying it all..” OH MY HEART! This book pulled me in and never let go. A dark country romance that had it ALL and so much more.

•Marriage Contract
•Touch her and …
•Forced Proximity
•High school sweethearts turned Enemies to lovers
..and the SPICE!! Ooooh the spice! She brought the HEAT on this one! (Check the content warnings) ;)

Lyra and Carver are a force to be reckoned with. Fiery banter and their love/hate relationship kept me hooked and wanting more page after page! They haven’t seen each other in 10 years and the build up between them leads them on a journey back to each other, but not without some hurdles along the way. Beautifully written with flashbacks woven throughout make this a nice paced read that you don’t want to miss out on! I will definitely be picking up more of E. S. Portman’s books.

[Sarah Janvier · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have one book to read this year, believe me you want to read this one!

It was my first time reading a book from this author and also my first time reading an ARC.

I’m usually a fast reader but I wanted to take my time reading this one. Glad I did it!

This book follows Lyra Thomas and Carver Roland from their high school sweetheart days to their present days.

The plot was so good and the spicy scenes were well written and they were fitting with the plot. Who doesn’t like a good spicy scene within a good story?

I can guarantee that you will cry, you’ll be mad and you’ll laugh reading this book. And that you’ll not be able to put the book down!

[Allie M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the privilege of being a BETA and ARC reader for this book and it blew me away. When a book can have me feeling such strong emotions about the characters and their story it’s an automatic five star read. The dual POV and dual timeline kept me invested from start to finish. Totally recommend this book but check the trigger menu as this is a dark romance book.

Let’s talk characters!
Lyra, our FMC. I loved her sass, DGAF, let’s just light it on fire attitude. Out of the two main characters she definitely had the most growth in regard to breaking down walls she built from her past trauma. And though Lyra can lie, she never tries to be like anyone else but Lyra.

Now Carver, he can see through every one of Lyra’s lies. He has no problem telling anyone how it is and has no problem getting physical if he has to in order to get his point across. Did I like him right out the gate? No. BUT by chapter 16 his red flags were pink and I was rooting for him and Lyra. His ability to communicate and his desire to truly listen to Lyra and understand where she was coming from in her words and actions was so sexy. This was my number 1 favorite thing about him.

Let’s talk story!
With two timelines we get the past which is how our two main characters meet and how they fall apart. While the present has our MCs coming together and having to confront their past head on. The bounce between timelines kept me guessing as to why Lyra and Carver hate each other and how/if they would resolve their issues. I’ve read books with flash backs but this is a full blown deep dive in to the past which made me more emotionally attached to the characters especially Lyra. There is a bit of a miscommunication trope, and though it can be one of the most frustrations to read it works SO WELL for this book. As I read Lyra’s past and saw how her life has played out it totally made sense why certain topics or events were not discussed immediately.

Let’s talk spice!
It’s spicy. I had at least 2 chapters where I could hear my heart beat in my ears. I was sweating. My blood pressure jumped up. And I had to put the book down at the end of the chapter because I needed to come down from the high.

Let’s talk series!
This is book 1 of the Alliston Springs series. From the mention of the side characters throughout the book Carver’s friends, Hayes and Grant, will be our MMC in the other 2 books. Will 100% be reading these!

[Ash Book Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ARC READ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have the pleasure of arc reading ly with me and was no disappointed this was the first book I have read of ES Portman and it will not be the last.

The story follows Lyra and Carver and how they went from childhood sweethearts to enemies to husband and wife(in contract). The twists and turns were so good I could not put it down. The spice was spicing the plot was plotting I could not ask for a better story was so good from beginning to end.

Highly recommended 10/10

[Chelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s like a 3.5 for me.

This book was missing more emotion for me to rate it higher. Yea Lyra and Carver been through some shit and they were both hurting but I didn’t feel the hurt. I also didn’t think I need almost 500 pages to read their story. I also wasn’t interested enough in Sophia to want to read the second book.

I do have to say the spice was 5🌶️. Like DAM Carver, he was the epitome of possessive and the literal definition of touch my wife and I will kill you.

In conclusion the 🌶️ was spicy and HOTTTTT, the plot 😒.

[Nicole Falcon · Rating 4 out of 5]

“She was the very core of my existence, the bright light at the end of a dark tunnel, and the smell of sunshine in the air I breathed. She was my everything.” -Carver 🦋

Holy hot hell! I am head over heels for these two. Carver and Lyra are a match made in Feral Heaven! Did Lyra think coming back to a town, she spent years running from, would be easy? Absolutely not. Did she think she would run into the man that hurt her in high school? Fuck no! But once Carver sees Lyra for first time in 10 years, this man is not letting go. This crazy man puts together a marriage contract with promised money. Money that could give Lyra the life she desperately craves. But when old feeling resurface, she’s got decisions that need to be made fast…. The pure chaos of this story was one of the best bully/second chance romances I have ever read. And the SPICE!?! Please check the trigger warnings, but if you are like me LIVE FOR the unhinged OTT obsessive/possessive behavior? You will fall in love faster than Lyra’s smart mouth 🥵


Bully/Second Chance Romance, Forced Marriage, He Falls First and Hard, “it’s always been you”, 1st person POV, dual

[Lauren Arnold · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved how this story started out. I enjoyed the build up of characters and the setting of the scenes and past history to create the story as it unfolded. The grudge that was carried before the contract was struck. I felt like the MMC switched from scorned ex lover to soft hearted obsessed lover a bit too quickly. It went from darkish romance to lovey with no real compelling reason. Then you bounced back into darker areas when her past and reasoning was brought forth. All in all it was a good story, would have loved it to have a bit more lead up but I have recommended to plenty of fellow cliterature club members as it is a nice palette cleanser.

[Sarah Mickus · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give this book more than 5 stars I would. Beautiful story line and just enough dark spice to keep the reader fully engaged. I really enjoyed this book and can’t wait to see what comes next!!!!!

[Mish_Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

3/5 ⭐️ but rounded up since we can rate half stars on here. I struggled through this one unfortunately. I can’t quite put my finger on it, maybe story dragged on when it wasn’t necessary.

[Diana Brennan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook was top notch, Narrators suited the characters so good! Man the main characters are so toxic 🤣 i love it!

[Thea Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect dark enemies to lovers high school sweethearts. Absolutely loved this book! As soon as I picked this book up I did not put it back down till I finished it. You won’t regret this read!

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spice: 4

Tropes:
marriage contract
small town
second chance
possessive MMC
weapon play
hand necklaces
primal kink
Dual POV

Trigger Warning:
references to abuse
assault
bully themes
childhood trauma

Well never in my life did I ever ship two things together as much as I do now. Country themes and dark romance? What? Yes, give me more!!! Now, I do want to say, this is NOT a cowboy romance, however it does take place in the Southern US in a small town and on a farm... of sorts. I really enjoyed this one! It gave me the movie She's All That vibes mixed with The Notebook but thrown in with some dark themes and bdsm lol. Yes, I recommend it haha

Carver had his whole life planned out. Graduate and join the Marines. Then he met Lyra and she filled his world upside down. Falling in love, they quickly made plans to run away from their small town and starting a life together after graduation. Only Lyra isn't there when Carver goes to pick her up. 10 years later, Lyra walks back into his life... and boy is he holding a grudge.

Lyra had an awful childhood and Carver is the first person to truly see her. But we don't always get what we want and Lyra had to flee town instead of running off with Carver. She's back to face her past but will Lyra and Carver both put aside the past to move forward together?

I loved Lyra. She's a woman who's been shown she has to protect herself first and everyone else be damned. She's strong, and the things she does to Carver when she's pissed made me chuckle. You do you girl! I'm not judging lol. I always love a good bonfire myself ;) Carver on the other hand... yeah I loved him too. Even when he was being a prick, I was drawn to him. Then as the story went on and we saw his layers get peeled back, I was like OH he's a super dark Noah (The Notebook) and now I'm obsessed with him lol. They're both two firey tornadoes just ripping thru town and instead of praying it'll stop, you just sit on your back porch watching the show with a glass of sweet tea. Just the perfect storm to watch!

[Jetscarbie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just an FYI (possible spoilers ahead) This book starts out where the whole first chapter- H is banging OW. And it’s not nice either. He has her in a nasty bathroom with her head on a nasty toilet lid. Later, he takes her back to his house. He’s not a nice lover with words. H is a massive manwhore

H also has a roommate, Jamie, who has bought back another woman. (They don’t sleep together because she falls asleep) but the next morning…..surprise! She’s h. 🙃

You start to get flashbacks when they were teens and in love. You know h just left H and has not recovered. He’s angry. His whole plan is to punish her.

h’s backstory is tragic, but it was easy to see where it was going. Her mom just left her with her (mom’s) scummy boyfriend. h only had a few months until graduation, so she was trying to ride it out. Ummmm except the mom’s boyfriend wanted h. h would literally have to lock her bedroom door from him.

H will spend 50% of the book punishing h, then he slowly starts to develop feelings again.
Then he turns into a total green flag for h. 🤷‍♀️

It’s spicy. There are lots of kinks. Primal, blood, edging,’bondage, knife, gun, etc…… definitely read triggers

[K.L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Touch her and die + I hate you, but I'd still crawl across glass for you

I love messy characters. I love realistic portrayals of trauma. I especially love when the character growth is so genuine that I experience it along with the characters. E.S. Portman has a gift in writing characters who are so real, it hurts. The tension, the chemistry, the frustration, the heartbreak—it all hits. This book is dark (please check the triggers) and expertly brings to life characters who are all various shades of grey. The setting was incredibly unique. Normally country books are located somewhere in Western USA or Western Canada, but this story is set in rural Florida and throws in amateur entomology and a weed farm. It was a fresh take on the country genre that I very much enjoyed. If you enjoy dark romance, obsessive MMCs, complicated FMCs, and second chances, I would highly recommend this book!

[M Robinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I sort of enjoyed this book, but honestly it would have been better 200 pages less.

you know when youre reading a book and feel its almost done then realise youre only half way through the book? this felt like that. I considered dnfing but held on.

so what's the problem?

the fmc Ly is horrid, i couldn't stand her.

much as I love a hot sex scene, there was just too much, it became tedious n boring to read to such an extent I ended up skimming through them.

lots and lots and lots of repetition.

the story ended up rather flat.

so much potential but a decent editor would have cut this book at least by a 3rd.

so, afraid my journey with this author is over with this 1st book. I really don't like her writing style which is gratuitous and self indulgent.

fgs get a decent editor!

[Lucy B.O]

dnf at 92%

I know I should have just finished it, but I just didn’t care at all. I find that the spice overpowered the plot. I really had to push through this one and should have dnf it before, but I've always had a hard time not finishing a book.

I think I'm the only one who didn’t enjoy it as much, so maybe it's just a me problem.

[Ken Erickson · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 rounding down. Was a bit drawn out and some plot lines the last 100 pages were confusing/not aligning w the first 400 pages of the book. Well structured but lots of fill in. Also the main character goes from being annoying, to too independent, to a crier?, to soft? I got lost. Fun January SSB read though.