Life Is Lifey: The A to Z's of Navigating Life's Messy Middle

by Sarah Shahi

Equal parts pep talk, reality check, and cocktail party confessional, Life is Lifey is a humorous and inspirational guide to unapologetically and authentically figuring out life’s messy middle.

Join Sarah Shahi as she cannonballs into the magical chaos of life—marriage, divorce, kids, career pivots, and everything in between. Like your brutally honest big sister (with a glass of wine in hand, wearing yesterday’s eye liner), Life is Lifey is an encyclopedia on “how to adult,” filled with personal stories that will have you lol-ing and advice that’s like a warm hug followed by a swift kick in the pants.

This isn’t about living your “best life” (so 2015). This is about shutting out the noise—self-doubt, partners, or that one mom from the PTA—and tapping into the voice within that’s 100 percent, unapologetically you.

Whether you’re limping out of a messy breakup or just trying to survive Mondays, Life is Lifey is the permission slip you didn’t know you needed to start making choices that scream your truth.

Many know Sarah as the lead in the global sensation Sex/Life, where she became the poster child for unhappy women everywhere. As her personal life started imitating art, her inbox lit up with questions from women around the How did you have the strength to get a divorce? What do you do when you’re questioning everything? How do you pick up the pieces of a broken heart and start over with kids clinging to your legs and peanut butter in your hair?

This book is her answer. Part memoir, part guide, it’s the story of endings and beginnings, of finding yourself when the script you’ve been following no longer fits. Life is Lifey invites you to tap into your authentic self and start living a life that’s bigger, bolder, and unapologetically yours. A cocktail of hard truths, big laughs, and unfiltered honesty, Life is Lifey will help you live a life that’s unapologetically you.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

336 pages, Hardcover

Published January 27, 2026

Reviews

[Jennifer K · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished Life Is Lifey by Sarah Shahi and it’s one of the most relatable, honest, and uplifting books I’ve read in a long time.

Part memoir, part guide to living your authentic life, this book takes you through the “messy middle” of life — relationships, divorce, parenting, career pivots, self-discovery, and all those moments we pretend we’ve got under control but really don’t.

What I loved most:
• Real stories that make you laugh, cry, and nod your head — the way Sarah writes, it feels like she’s right there with you, telling it like it is.
• No sugar-coating or perfection worship — she embraces the chaos, the weirdness, the days when life feels like a mess.
• Practical life wisdom without being preachy — from setting boundaries to reclaiming joy, there’s advice that actually sticks.
• Unexpected depth — the book tackles tough themes with courage and compassion, sharing moments that shaped her resilience.

This isn’t a “best life” book — it’s a permission slip to live your life boldly, authentically, and with a sense of humor. If you’re navigating change, uncertainty, breakup recovery, identity shifts, or just the daily grind, this book will feel like a friend leaning in and saying “I get you.” 💛

Highly recommend for anyone who wants a read that’s real, funny, inspiring, and deeply human. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had been looking forward to Life is Lifey bc I love Sarah Shahi every time I see her onscreen. I read quite a lot of both self help and celebrity memoirs and I have NEVER read so many cliches and Instagram hashtags strung together in one place. It was bizarre.

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know someone who has conversations just like the vibe Sarah gives in this book. Feels like your funny friend giving you life advice. Some of the chapters did feel a bit forced to complete the alphabet sections (each “chapter” begins with a letter in alphabetical order) but overall I enjoyed it.

[Nicolette K · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a huge fan of Sarah and all her work (Substack, Sex/Life, etc) and what she stands for, I was truly disappointed by this book. I had been waiting all year for it and couldn't wait to read about very real and sometimes taboo topics from a fellow Iranian American. And I still love Sarah–and was hoping for the best– but the content of the book completely fell short...

I know it's difficult to be original in self help writing, but Life is Lifey had no new ideas. The premise of each chapter was to choose yourself and do what you want and was supported with anecdotes of Sarah's life, like when she finally did X she was free. If only it was that simple.

Of course I would love to choose myself always. But that's the pain of it–we can't. This book doesn't at all attack the difficulties or the context of why– there is zero analysis. It is all "Do this! Do that! Don't do this!" Ugh.

Like yeah, I should wear the clothes I want. Yeah, I shouldn't care about what my body looks like. Yeah, I should leave my husband if I don't like him. Yeah, I shouldn't care about failure.

We all know these things.

Self help books are supposed to dive deeper into the WHY of why we struggle in order to instill a newfound motivation in the reader to better understand themselves + THUS form the ability to ignite change.

There was no depth in this book... and unfortunately, I don't even agree with some of the advice. In one of the chapters, Shahi was comparing herself to young girls on her movie trailer and how she would "never want to switch lives with them" because they were occupied by late nights drinking and stressing over boys. I wish she could romanticize her adult life without putting down the lives of young girls in their twenties. Or, when discussing aging, there was a strong distaste for the idea of women trying to better themselves through cosmetics. Yeah, coming from someone who was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, it is sure easy to say that you don't need filler or botox or that a nose job is doing too much.

You don't have to put down other women to make a point and that strategy, unfortunately, was embedded throughout her writing.

I really wish to have loved this book. But unfortunately, and I am not even particularly picky, it was largely shallow, sometimes tone deaf, and way too good to be true. It felt like every page was screaming at me to "Live Laugh Love" and that if I'm not, I just need to be told to, and that's why I am suffering. Happiness is complex– this book ignores that.

Bummer.

[READER VIEWS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah Shahi’s Life is Lifey: The A to Z’s on Navigating Life’s Messy Middle is an exultant and brutally honest whirlwind of a memoir that came into my life right on time. Her alphabetically themed jumping off points read like mini essays on a variety of topics like “adulting” to [giving] “zero f*cks.” Shahi gets vulnerable in sharing the dissolution of her marriage—and how she rebuilt herself out of it—her spirituality, her family dynamics, her childhood, her acting career, and how she crafted her approach to life. She’s like the cool aunt you want to be, the big sister who has high school (and then college) all figured out.

This book is brimming with beautiful and relevant nuggets of wisdom from Maya Angelou, Dolly Parton, Carl Sagan, Mae West, First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, and over half a dozen others. If there’s something to be learned from them, Shahi has found a way to incorporate them into her worldview, her manifesto on life, and actually living life with verve. Her spirituality, journaling practices, owning one’s sexuality, finding balance between feminine/masculine energy, the importance of taking breaks vs having a breakdown, setting boundaries, et al., are simultaneously offered to help you navigate this lifey life we’re all experiencing.

Bring a glitter pen, a highlighter, or your writing utensil of choice, because you’re going to need it! Underline, toss in your own exclamation marks, and highlight things to share with your girlfriends. In one of her title-dropping quotes, Shahi offers up this advice:

Either way, life is going to throw some punches. Sometimes I duck, sometimes I just take it to the face and call it exfoliation. Life is lifey and it’s not about how we fall, but how we pick ourselves up after that matters.

For me, Shahi reads with the full bodied acceptance and setting the story straight of the late Shannen Doherty’s Badass: A Hard-Earned Guide to Living Life with Style and (the Right) Attitude, with a dash of Tina Fey’s snark and reflection in Bossypants, and tempered with the brashness, comedic timing, and 4th wall breaks of Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). Shahi is able to laugh at herself, inviting you to belly laugh, say girl, I’ve been there, then pick yourself up, envision greater for yourself, and then go chase it.

A terrific read with a fantastic dismount. Now go out there, “[t]ear up the rulebook and dance in its confetti. Make a little trouble out there—and make it on behalf of women everywhere.”

[Claudia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I found Life is Lifey to be an engaging and thoughtfully written book. Sarah Shahi’s tone felt conversational and down-to-earth. The personal stories were easily the strongest part. They brought warmth and authenticity to her reflections.

If you enjoy reflective, honest writing with a bit of humor and heart, Life is Lifey is worth picking up.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the audiobook and hearing Sarah narrate her own stories. She said she’s like the big sister giving advice, and she really is like a sister to me! I appreciated the honesty, the comedy, and the reminders to really live your life authentically and without apology. Sarah emanates that in her daily life and it shines through in this book.

I would rate it 4 1/2 stars personally, but only because I couldn’t connect with every section of the book. But that’s also what makes it so versatile for its readers. I feel like after listening to it this time, I want go back and mark sections of the physical book to reread and remind myself of the important lessons pertinent to my own life.

None of the “advice” was really new to me because of extensive reading and reflection that I’ve done over the years, however, I felt like as I was reading it, I kept saying “yes” or “thanks for reminding me how important that is” out loud to Sarah. It was a book that I had to read over the course of a week as opposed to binging it. There was so much to stop and think about. So if you are somebody who has been on a reflection journey for a while, it may not be new content for you, but it’s a hell of a reminder of the power you have to change your life for the better.

I honestly laughed at some of her comments (the salmon joke got me), cried at the personal stories about their father, and reacted out loud to parts. Sarah did a fabulous job with the narration, too. Fabulous work, sis!

[Meg.RecsBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

audio / 5* / libby

Usually, I wouldn’t read a book like this, because it is based off of someone’s life experiences. In this case, it felt like an older sister giving advice. And the fact that she narrated only drove it home more. Happy to listen to anything she has to say and grateful for her, sharing all of her wisdom that she’s gathered along the way. She does a great job quoting the people she loves and overall, it was enlightening.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

No literary masterpiece (but also not expecting it to be), it was full of cliches and weird crass or GenZ-attempted phrases that all read like a Pinterest board with longer explanations… nothing super profound or progressive, but good on Shahi for using the Sex Life platform she was given to put some empowerment reminders and reinforced words of wisdom out there.

[Abigail Feehley · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a 29 year old, I ADORED THIS BOOK….FULL OF MAGIC. Sarah if you see this, PLEASE WRITE ANOTHER ONE. Your book is my little bestie bible. The pages are so easy to digest, I feel like I’m talking to my BFF!!! I’m taking notes!!!! ♥️ telling every woman in my life to read it

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a surface level presentation. I thought and hoped this was more of a memoir versus self help book that ripped off other notable teachers in this area such as Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey idk just wish it provided more depth and less witty one liners or a inspirational quote.

[Carrie Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a "coming of age" after a divorce. Figuring out what part of life to continue with your identity and how to move forward with the challenges of life. Good advice from the author. Relatable information.

[Cait Pell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love her! Clever, witty and some real life lessons were learned while reading!

[Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute book for women to reassure us in this life make us feel a little better and relatable

[Jessie]

dnf

[Kristen Applegate · Rating 4 out of 5]

🎧 Snarky self help and liberal cussing - sign me up! Who knows if Sarah Shahi has the credentials for this topic, but idgaf! Love her!

[Melissa G · Rating 4 out of 5]

*audiobook* 3.5 ⭐️ rounded up

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

*audio version*

[Bella98 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of nuggets of wisdom and funny too, love it

[Karen Davies · Rating 4 out of 5]

I could listen to anything by Sarah Shahi. Beautifully read audio. Nothing profound in this book but was a lovely uplifting message and finished it in 2 sittings.

[Stacey Nemith · Rating 2 out of 5]

2⭐️s. Very witty writer, just not relevant to me and I skipped a ton of the book.

[Amanda Jennings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun, confidence building, pick me up - reads like a cozy wine chat from a best girlfriend. Came at a perfect time.

[Robert · Rating 1 out of 5]

a good read

It’s a different perspective to help support the beautiful women in our lives without judgment just love from the bottom of our hearts.

[Spike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before opening this book, I wasn't sure I was the "right" reader for it. Not only because I'm probably younger than the intended audience, but also because my academic background has trained me to be wary of "healing narratives"—they can be toxic, performative, a way to package trauma into digestible lessons. I opened this book with hesitation.
But this isn't that kind of book.
Life is Lifey doesn't offer healing. It doesn't tie everything up neatly. Sarah doesn't even have all the answers herself—and that's exactly why this book works. What struck me most is the courage it takes to be this honest. Not just honest about what happened, but honest about the mess, the contradictions, the moments that don't make sense even in hindsight. For anyone, this would be difficult. For a public figure who has to constantly manage her image, it's extraordinary. And yet, Sarah does it—unapologetically, unflinchingly.
I come from a culture where we don't talk openly about sex, intimacy, or anything remotely close to it. It's not self-stereotyping——it's genuinely how we're raised, how we're taught to protect ourselves. So yes, there were moments while reading this book where I had to stop, take a breath, and think, "Did I really just read that?" There were moments where I laughed out loud at the absurdity of life. There were moments where her raw honesty moved me to tears, even though I've never experienced anything like what she describes.
But every time, I was struck by how real it felt.
This book doesn't try to heal you. It doesn't promise that everything will make sense. What it does is show you that life is messy—chaotic, confusing, sometimes embarrassing—and that maybe, just maybe, we can learn to accept ourselves anyway. Reading this book was one of the most unique experiences I've had with a book: a little awkward, deeply joyful, surprisingly moving, and completely new. It's not a book that tells you how to live. It's a book that shows you someone trying to figure it out, just like the rest of us.
So yes, this book is worth your time. Not because it will fix you, but because it will remind you: that’s just life, and that's okay.

[Book Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah Shahi’s Life Is Lifey is a raw, funny, and unapologetic blend of memoir and advice that doesn’t pretend to have all the answers. The book weaves through her personal journey of divorce, self-discovery, and career pivots, while also doling out blunt yet compassionate lessons about courage, boundaries, aging, sex, self-love, and learning to actually live your own life rather than the one others expect. It feels less like a self-help manual and more like sitting down with a brutally honest big sister who mixes tequila shots with therapy sessions, making you laugh even as you cry.

Reading this book felt like an unexpected jolt of energy. Shahi’s writing is conversational, raunchy, and full of personality, which is what makes it so compelling. I loved how she knocked down the polished façade of self-help and leaned into the chaos instead. Her stories are sometimes shocking, sometimes tender, and always relatable. The honesty is refreshing. I found myself nodding, laughing, and pausing to underline lines that hit uncomfortably close to home. It doesn’t read like something written from a pedestal, and that made me trust her voice even more.

I enjoyed the boldness, but sometimes I wished the narrative slowed down so that certain insights could breathe. The profanity and sex-heavy sections might turn off some readers, but for me, that unfiltered edge is exactly what gives the book its charm. Shahi’s refusal to sand down her experiences into something polite is what makes it ring true. She is vulnerable without being sappy and hilarious without being flippant, which is a balance that not many writers can pull off.

Life Is Lifey isn’t for people who want a neat list of steps to fix their life. It’s for those who are tired of pretending everything is fine, who want to laugh through their tears, and who need a reminder that the second act of life can be wilder, richer, and more authentic than the first. If you’re someone who craves honesty laced with humor, and you’re not afraid of a little mess, this book will feel like a permission slip to live unapologetically and on your own terms.

[Veronica Cruz · Rating 4 out of 5]

God this was good! I'm so grateful to have an ARC of this because it was just the book I needed and a great book to read to close out the end of the year. Every woman needs to read this who's over 30, divorced and/or has kids, or the forever people pleaser. Like many I loved Sarah in Sex/Life but I also have followed her IG for years and always admired her life. And not like the admired because she's a celebrity living this glamourous life, but because she's living the most authentic life. I wish I had this right after my divorce but either way it was great! I'll definitley be re-reading this in the future - a great reminder to not care what others think of you and do what makes you happy.

Thank you Regalo Press for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

[Natalie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

I didn’t feel like I could really get into this book and thought it was okay. The tone of the writing was very down to earth but for me it wasn’t engaging or relatable, though I’m sure others will disagree.

[Candy · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are tons of f-bombs in this and sexy situations, but Shani has a great message here - one that women need to hear!