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Tidying the Abyss: A Practical Guide to Cleaning and Organizing While Exhausted and Overwhelmed
A gentle, hands-on resource offering mental health-sensitive, disability-informed advice for those who do not have the privilege, bandwidth, or access to keep their home—and life—in a perfectly-ordered state.
Amanda Stuckey Dodson prided herself on her ability to maintain a peaceful, clean there wasn’t any mess that couldn’t be fixed by plastic organizing bins, spreadsheets, and a can-do attitude. When her life was upended by chronic illness, leaving her unable to maintain her elaborate cleaning systems, she learned that the hardest part wasn’t becoming organized, it was staying organized. Facing an unusually messy home, she knew she needed a different approach.
Tidying the Abyss is a gentle, step-by-step guide to keeping house when everything around you is falling apart. Dodson, a clinical social worker turned professional organizer, advocates for the abandoning of perfection to make room for creative, livable solutions. No matter where you fall on the spectrum of being chronically ill, neurodivergent, or hopeless at home maintenance, you need more than just organizational tips- you need a practice. Within these pages you’ll find guidance Managing motivation and overwhelm; Addressing your basic needs with systems for trash, kitchen & dishes, and laundry; Creating order in your most-used spaces (think bedroom and bathroom); and Common life complications like pet-related chaos or managing housework as a caregiver or as a parent When the dishes, the laundry, and the bills mercilessly persist, piling all around, Tidying theAbyss empowers you to face the chaos and define new standards for your home. With a little bit of compassion and patience, any mess can be cleaned up, one piece at a time.
Amanda Stuckey Dodson prided herself on her ability to maintain a peaceful, clean there wasn’t any mess that couldn’t be fixed by plastic organizing bins, spreadsheets, and a can-do attitude. When her life was upended by chronic illness, leaving her unable to maintain her elaborate cleaning systems, she learned that the hardest part wasn’t becoming organized, it was staying organized. Facing an unusually messy home, she knew she needed a different approach.
Tidying the Abyss is a gentle, step-by-step guide to keeping house when everything around you is falling apart. Dodson, a clinical social worker turned professional organizer, advocates for the abandoning of perfection to make room for creative, livable solutions. No matter where you fall on the spectrum of being chronically ill, neurodivergent, or hopeless at home maintenance, you need more than just organizational tips- you need a practice. Within these pages you’ll find guidance Managing motivation and overwhelm; Addressing your basic needs with systems for trash, kitchen & dishes, and laundry; Creating order in your most-used spaces (think bedroom and bathroom); and Common life complications like pet-related chaos or managing housework as a caregiver or as a parent When the dishes, the laundry, and the bills mercilessly persist, piling all around, Tidying theAbyss empowers you to face the chaos and define new standards for your home. With a little bit of compassion and patience, any mess can be cleaned up, one piece at a time.
307 pages, Hardcover
First published November 11, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
October 30, 2025
4 Stars
I found this book incredibly approachable, nonjudgmental, and practical for anyone who struggles with cleaning and organizing their home. I originally picked this book up because I very much enjoyed How to Keep House While Drowning, and I thought this may be similar. I would say they are definitely in the same vein, but this book has more practical tips and steps to clean and organize, no matter your energy level or barriers.
I'm knocking one star off because I didn't agree with everything in the book, and at times, the way personality types were categorized felt a bit too reductive. Nevertheless, this book provides a helpful perspective that challenges strict, morally-bound cleaning and organization standards of old. There are several tips and tricks I will take away from this book!
I found this book incredibly approachable, nonjudgmental, and practical for anyone who struggles with cleaning and organizing their home. I originally picked this book up because I very much enjoyed How to Keep House While Drowning, and I thought this may be similar. I would say they are definitely in the same vein, but this book has more practical tips and steps to clean and organize, no matter your energy level or barriers.
I'm knocking one star off because I didn't agree with everything in the book, and at times, the way personality types were categorized felt a bit too reductive. Nevertheless, this book provides a helpful perspective that challenges strict, morally-bound cleaning and organization standards of old. There are several tips and tricks I will take away from this book!
March 20, 2026
I cannot overstate how much I needed this book at this specific time in my life.
May 31, 2026
This book is a mix of practical organizational and cleaning strategies combined with some philosophical musings. I enjoyed both, but at times the mix felt meandering and unfocused. The tips are practical and nonjudgmental and are particularly suited for folks who face physical, mental, or emotional barriers for cleaning. I do think the author breaks down the concepts well.
October 25, 2025
Tidying the Abyss is a refreshing, realistic, and compassionate guide to keeping your home orderly while also being kind to yourself. Amanda Stuckey Dodson doesn’t strive for perfection, she approaches it with understanding and humor. The book blends practical advice with gentle encouragement, showing that home care isn’t about spotless rooms, it’s about creating a space that supports your life.
What makes this book stand out is how comprehensive it is. Each room of the house gets its own section, full of small, doable habits that build on each other. Drawing on concepts from some of my other favorite books, Fair Play and Atomic Habits, Dodson shows how home routines when made realistic and can actually stick. It’s less about rigid systems and more about sustainability, which makes it feel manageable for busy people and families alike (even those with pets!)
As a preschool teacher, I especially appreciated the section on “teaching” young children to clean. Dodson emphasizes that while it’s more work at first, modeling and including kids in the process pays off in the long run: helping toddlers learn responsibility and confidence that eventually grows into teens who actually help. It’s such an important skill to teach our young!
The book perfect for neurodivergent readers. Dodson acknowledges how clutter, sensory overload, or executive dysfunction can complicate home care and she offers gentle, flexible strategies that avoid adding guilt or pressure with each to read charts.
Two quotes from this book that I really enjoyed were:
“One of the trickiest parts of cohabitation is the incorrect assumption that you are, at all times, a very reasonable person. And pretty much easy to live with!”
“Housework is only boring if you allow it to be, if you refuse to become interested. This is the core of mindfulness—that anything can be interesting.”
Tidying the Abyss isn’t just about a cleaner home, it’s about creating order with self-compassion. A must-read for anyone who wants a gentler, more mindful approach to daily life.
What makes this book stand out is how comprehensive it is. Each room of the house gets its own section, full of small, doable habits that build on each other. Drawing on concepts from some of my other favorite books, Fair Play and Atomic Habits, Dodson shows how home routines when made realistic and can actually stick. It’s less about rigid systems and more about sustainability, which makes it feel manageable for busy people and families alike (even those with pets!)
As a preschool teacher, I especially appreciated the section on “teaching” young children to clean. Dodson emphasizes that while it’s more work at first, modeling and including kids in the process pays off in the long run: helping toddlers learn responsibility and confidence that eventually grows into teens who actually help. It’s such an important skill to teach our young!
The book perfect for neurodivergent readers. Dodson acknowledges how clutter, sensory overload, or executive dysfunction can complicate home care and she offers gentle, flexible strategies that avoid adding guilt or pressure with each to read charts.
Two quotes from this book that I really enjoyed were:
“One of the trickiest parts of cohabitation is the incorrect assumption that you are, at all times, a very reasonable person. And pretty much easy to live with!”
“Housework is only boring if you allow it to be, if you refuse to become interested. This is the core of mindfulness—that anything can be interesting.”
Tidying the Abyss isn’t just about a cleaner home, it’s about creating order with self-compassion. A must-read for anyone who wants a gentler, more mindful approach to daily life.
November 13, 2025
In Tidying the Abyss, it’s like the author has snuck around in my house at night while I was sleeping. Otherwise, how does she know that I have an unopened mop box (she must have missed the still boxed Roomba, vacuum and generic swift jet in my garage)? She even mentioned my tower of plastic bins holding who knows what stored in the corner of my family room. I admit I have bought duplicate items rather than look for them in those bins.
Seriously, the first third of this book, it seemed the author knew exactly who I was. That alone made me feel better—knowing I wasn’t alone with my decluttering/cleaning issues. Most of the remaining chapters give decluttering/cleaning tips for cleaning each room of your home. There are even extra tips for those with physical or mental challenges to help them cope better. The last few chapters deal with how to make cleaning and decluttering a habit and how to avoid backsliding.
Overall, Tidying the Abyss was the best motivation I’ve read to, well, tidy the abyss. The tips are good but the explanations for the root causes were even better. If you have some issues with keeping your place tidy, this is the book for you. 5 stars and a favorite.
Thanks to NetGalley and Balance for providing me with an advanced review copy.
Seriously, the first third of this book, it seemed the author knew exactly who I was. That alone made me feel better—knowing I wasn’t alone with my decluttering/cleaning issues. Most of the remaining chapters give decluttering/cleaning tips for cleaning each room of your home. There are even extra tips for those with physical or mental challenges to help them cope better. The last few chapters deal with how to make cleaning and decluttering a habit and how to avoid backsliding.
Overall, Tidying the Abyss was the best motivation I’ve read to, well, tidy the abyss. The tips are good but the explanations for the root causes were even better. If you have some issues with keeping your place tidy, this is the book for you. 5 stars and a favorite.
Thanks to NetGalley and Balance for providing me with an advanced review copy.
November 14, 2025
thoughtful, realistic approach to keeping house for anyone and everyone! this book is full of personality and humor which keeps it lighthearted and enjoyable to read.
April 6, 2026
This is a good one on keeping the house running when chronic illness or other disasters strike. It's also quite funny, which I appreciate when talking about housework. It's also unnecessarily sweary.
July 31, 2026
This book had everything I needed.
January 11, 2026
I requested "Tidying the Abyss: A Practical Guide to Cleaning and Organizing While Exhausted and Overwhelmed" from NetGalley because organizing and tidying have interested me since childhood, long before decluttering became a cottage industry. At times I think I missed my calling.
My initial impression was mixed. I found the author genuinely funny, but not always a strong writer. One moment that gave me pause was when she shared that she “hired helpers and relied on the generous support of family and friends.” While I do have family and friends, hiring help simply isn’t within my means, and that line landed with a bit of heaviness for me.
That said, this book isn’t trying to be "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up," and it shouldn’t be judged by that standard. It isn’t the holy grail of tidying books, but that’s also not its purpose. What "Tidying the Abyss" offers instead is something gentler and more compassionate.
Written by a therapist, the book openly explores how a messy home often reflects a messy life. When life tips over your apple cart, as it did for the author, our homes are often the first thing to fall apart. I appreciated her honesty in sharing her own descent into overwhelm and her realistic acknowledgment that medical issues, exhaustion, grief, and life disruptions make traditional “just do it” advice impossible.
This book will be most helpful for people who feel completely overwhelmed by homemaking, unsure where to begin, or weighed down by shame about their living space. It meets readers where they are, offers encouragement rather than judgment, and frames tidying as a form of care rather than a moral failing.
Many thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for providing me with a copy to read and review.
My initial impression was mixed. I found the author genuinely funny, but not always a strong writer. One moment that gave me pause was when she shared that she “hired helpers and relied on the generous support of family and friends.” While I do have family and friends, hiring help simply isn’t within my means, and that line landed with a bit of heaviness for me.
That said, this book isn’t trying to be "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up," and it shouldn’t be judged by that standard. It isn’t the holy grail of tidying books, but that’s also not its purpose. What "Tidying the Abyss" offers instead is something gentler and more compassionate.
Written by a therapist, the book openly explores how a messy home often reflects a messy life. When life tips over your apple cart, as it did for the author, our homes are often the first thing to fall apart. I appreciated her honesty in sharing her own descent into overwhelm and her realistic acknowledgment that medical issues, exhaustion, grief, and life disruptions make traditional “just do it” advice impossible.
This book will be most helpful for people who feel completely overwhelmed by homemaking, unsure where to begin, or weighed down by shame about their living space. It meets readers where they are, offers encouragement rather than judgment, and frames tidying as a form of care rather than a moral failing.
Many thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for providing me with a copy to read and review.
November 24, 2025
The one issue I had with this book isn’t a bad complaint— it was so thorough that it sometimes felt overwhelming and it took me a while to read it. I also promptly forgot all of the wise stuff in it by the time I got through it all because that’s how my brain is, even after highlighting. But it is worth my going through it several times to make those highlighted parts stick.
I really appreciated that this book gives practical advice and not just empathy for people who struggle with housework for physical, psychological, mental or other reasons. How to Keep House While Drowning was revolutionary and beloved because it was the first cleaning book to speak to us lovingly and to tell us we weren’t bad people if we were messy. But mostly that was just a short book that did that well, and it sort of just gave us a pass to do whatever we could, however we could.
This book really gives you tools, room by room and issue by issue, on how to handle housekeeping despite your challenges. Are you neurodivergent and have sensory issues with cleaning the toilet? Here’s a list of ways to accommodate that. Is your partner chronically ill and you’re overwhelmed? Here are practical and psychological tips to help you both. Do you have young children? Here’s how to teach them cleaning skills and how to teach them healthy feelings about housework in the process. Here are different schedules of cleaning to choose from since we all have different needs. Here are things to do when you are too unwell to do almost anything.
The author is neurodivergent and has chronic illness herself, plus a psychological background, and her husband has MS. She runs a business helping people with mental and physical illnesses to get their homes in order. So she really has a lot of personal and work experience with this and is able to be absolutely judgment free and compassionate while also being quite practically helpful.
Well recommended.
I read a digital ARC of this book via netgalley.
I really appreciated that this book gives practical advice and not just empathy for people who struggle with housework for physical, psychological, mental or other reasons. How to Keep House While Drowning was revolutionary and beloved because it was the first cleaning book to speak to us lovingly and to tell us we weren’t bad people if we were messy. But mostly that was just a short book that did that well, and it sort of just gave us a pass to do whatever we could, however we could.
This book really gives you tools, room by room and issue by issue, on how to handle housekeeping despite your challenges. Are you neurodivergent and have sensory issues with cleaning the toilet? Here’s a list of ways to accommodate that. Is your partner chronically ill and you’re overwhelmed? Here are practical and psychological tips to help you both. Do you have young children? Here’s how to teach them cleaning skills and how to teach them healthy feelings about housework in the process. Here are different schedules of cleaning to choose from since we all have different needs. Here are things to do when you are too unwell to do almost anything.
The author is neurodivergent and has chronic illness herself, plus a psychological background, and her husband has MS. She runs a business helping people with mental and physical illnesses to get their homes in order. So she really has a lot of personal and work experience with this and is able to be absolutely judgment free and compassionate while also being quite practically helpful.
Well recommended.
I read a digital ARC of this book via netgalley.
April 1, 2026
I read this book after discussing it with my daughter when she completed it. I found useful tips to assist with certain areas of our home for organization and tidying. I am a sentimental person and struggle with tossing certain items, so I need to learn to make things disappear. Doing my part for the environment is also something I feel strongly about, and often, I find it difficult to send items to the landfill; surely there must be some other use for the item or a better way to dispose of it! The author describes "compulsive savers" and I identify with this term. I recently made a front door wreath that used up many of the fabric scraps I have saved over the years! After reading the book, I learned that one should evaluate if they will actually have time to use the items they are saving (a work in progress...).
I love that the book is written specifically for people who face challenges with household chores and life responsibilities due to some form of ailment, whether physically or mentally. The author touched on many possible solutions that seem feasible and I hope the book will provide solutions of some sort to each of its readers.
Ms. Dodson reminds the reader throughout the book that, sometimes, it is necessary to determine what our standards are for "clean enough" or "acceptable" to allow one to feel content with their progress of life responsibilities and the state of their surroundings. Perfect is not feasible, and it does not have to be the outcome of any chore. Some action is better than no action.
The section regarding co-habitation should be read by everyone! It is enlightening. The "messy/neat" co-habitation example is hilariously written, but gets to the bottom of this relationship combination.
I love that the book is written specifically for people who face challenges with household chores and life responsibilities due to some form of ailment, whether physically or mentally. The author touched on many possible solutions that seem feasible and I hope the book will provide solutions of some sort to each of its readers.
Ms. Dodson reminds the reader throughout the book that, sometimes, it is necessary to determine what our standards are for "clean enough" or "acceptable" to allow one to feel content with their progress of life responsibilities and the state of their surroundings. Perfect is not feasible, and it does not have to be the outcome of any chore. Some action is better than no action.
The section regarding co-habitation should be read by everyone! It is enlightening. The "messy/neat" co-habitation example is hilariously written, but gets to the bottom of this relationship combination.
September 17, 2026
3.5stars
If the thought of cleaning your house feels less like a chore and more like an archaeological expedition, this book might be for you. Tidying the Abyss is essentially a beginner’s course in pulling yourself out of the depths of despair, one piece of garbage at a time.
Amanda breaks things down based on where you are in your struggle, from “I have never cleaned a thing” to “I can’t see my way out.” She patiently and without judgment helps pull you toward simply getting by and, eventually, even thriving.
I especially liked that she encourages you to bring in reinforcements when you need them and gives you permission to enlist accountability partners along the way. For anyone who struggles with executive function or has a hard time knowing where to even begin, there are some genuinely helpful ideas here. And if you have someone in your life who is struggling but wants to make a change, I’d recommend reading this one yourself first, then sharing little pieces of its wisdom when they’re ready to hear it.
If the thought of cleaning your house feels less like a chore and more like an archaeological expedition, this book might be for you. Tidying the Abyss is essentially a beginner’s course in pulling yourself out of the depths of despair, one piece of garbage at a time.
Amanda breaks things down based on where you are in your struggle, from “I have never cleaned a thing” to “I can’t see my way out.” She patiently and without judgment helps pull you toward simply getting by and, eventually, even thriving.
I especially liked that she encourages you to bring in reinforcements when you need them and gives you permission to enlist accountability partners along the way. For anyone who struggles with executive function or has a hard time knowing where to even begin, there are some genuinely helpful ideas here. And if you have someone in your life who is struggling but wants to make a change, I’d recommend reading this one yourself first, then sharing little pieces of its wisdom when they’re ready to hear it.
December 5, 2025
Tidying the Abyss by Amanda Dodson
I got this book because it was calling my name and I could relate to the description.
As a caretaker to my partner of over 20 years who has dementia I could relate to her issues and journey.
I was looking for a way to keep my house clean and deal with the messes caused by dementia not my partner. He does his best, but the disease can overtake him.
I like the way the book is split into rooms and tackles the everyday problems in an achievable way. When it is all left to you it can be overwhelming and stressful, but this way is a way to do it without the stress.
I recommend this book highly for anyone dealing with someone ill or just anyone overwhelmed.
I got this book because it was calling my name and I could relate to the description.
As a caretaker to my partner of over 20 years who has dementia I could relate to her issues and journey.
I was looking for a way to keep my house clean and deal with the messes caused by dementia not my partner. He does his best, but the disease can overtake him.
I like the way the book is split into rooms and tackles the everyday problems in an achievable way. When it is all left to you it can be overwhelming and stressful, but this way is a way to do it without the stress.
I recommend this book highly for anyone dealing with someone ill or just anyone overwhelmed.
January 7, 2026
Overall this was informative, gentle, and helpful!
I would have personally benefitted a bit more if the section on kids was more fleshed out. Kids really do make things so much more chaotic and hard to keep up with (I’m glad she included some statistics in this about just how much MORE parents are taking on than those without kids). In the section though, it kind of took a turn from the more implementable, practical tips in other chapters, and became more tips about teaching kids to clean so they can have the skills to housekeep on their own in the future. Still great and helpful though, but was just looking for a little more there as that’s what I was expecting while reading some of the other very in depth chapters!
I would have personally benefitted a bit more if the section on kids was more fleshed out. Kids really do make things so much more chaotic and hard to keep up with (I’m glad she included some statistics in this about just how much MORE parents are taking on than those without kids). In the section though, it kind of took a turn from the more implementable, practical tips in other chapters, and became more tips about teaching kids to clean so they can have the skills to housekeep on their own in the future. Still great and helpful though, but was just looking for a little more there as that’s what I was expecting while reading some of the other very in depth chapters!
December 29, 2025
I borrowed this book with the intention to learn more about tidying my place.
Amanda shares many different methods of how to start tidying, managing expectations of tidying and actionable steps to get things started without being overwhelmed.
This book is suitable for people who do not know where or how to start tidying a place. As a mum, my circumstances had caused me to first, lower my expectations on the definitions of cleanliness, two, find the best and fastest way to clean things and organize them. While Amanda’s advice can be useful, I find that the book consists too much fluff and hence it gets a 2 stars for this.
Amanda shares many different methods of how to start tidying, managing expectations of tidying and actionable steps to get things started without being overwhelmed.
This book is suitable for people who do not know where or how to start tidying a place. As a mum, my circumstances had caused me to first, lower my expectations on the definitions of cleanliness, two, find the best and fastest way to clean things and organize them. While Amanda’s advice can be useful, I find that the book consists too much fluff and hence it gets a 2 stars for this.
November 27, 2025
A helpful book on tidying up all areas of your life. No major changes needed, no life altering aha moments, just little tips that you can change to improve on all things from organization to cleaning habits to eating healthy. Written and narrated by a licensed therapist and professional organizer, this was a practical guide that was easy to listen to. I am happy to have the ebook version as well, as I went back to highlight points to refer back to.
Thanks to Hachette Audio for the ALC and Grand Central Publishing | Balance via NetGalley for the eARC.
Thanks to Hachette Audio for the ALC and Grand Central Publishing | Balance via NetGalley for the eARC.
December 21, 2025
Tidying the Abyss isn’t necessarily about creating a perfect home. Instead, it focuses on creating systems that work when you’re tired, overwhelmed, or burnt out. The tone is very kind and nonjudgmental, and it felt validating to read something that acknowledges real life instead of Instagram-clean standards.
There truly is something for everyone in this guide and I plan to use it as a future resource.
Highly recommend if traditional cleaning advice usually just makes you run in the opposite direction.
Thank you NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for a digital ARC in exchange for my honest review.
There truly is something for everyone in this guide and I plan to use it as a future resource.
Highly recommend if traditional cleaning advice usually just makes you run in the opposite direction.
Thank you NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for a digital ARC in exchange for my honest review.
January 9, 2026
Even though I disagreed with some of the author's ideas about women and marriage as well as the occasional swear word...it is an exceptionally well written book for people with chronic illness or a disability! There is no other book out there on this subject! Very helpful and very funny! A must read for anyone who is struggling!
April 27, 2026
This is a hard book to review because I realized I am not the target audience. It’s very geared towards people with disabilities, severe mental health challenges, or other more intense situations. I just have a bunch of kids who have a bunch of stuff. It’s very compassionate and inclusive which is wonderful but not overly helpful to me.
December 27, 2025
An excellent guide to getting your house back in order and creating a routine in life. The author gives a tangible step by step guide to all walks along life. As someone who struggles to focus on routine in cleaning due to ADHD, I found it incredibly helpful!
November 30, 2025
Very informative, loved it and would recommend to anyone looking to manage their space!
Thank you, NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for the ARC!
Thank you, NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for the ARC!
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January 4, 2026Niet echt relevant voor mij, maar mss wel voor anderen. Daarom geen sterren.
January 14, 2026
The tone of the book feels reflective rather than directive, which made it more engaging for me.
January 14, 2026
Exactly what I needed during this time!
January 20, 2026
A gentle and wise foundational text. Easy to digest and easy to read. I had my library buy this but I will be buying my own copy as well to reference.
January 31, 2026
Great ideas for organizing. I liked how the author took into account being overwhelmed and health issues
April 14, 2026
I needed this book so much NGL
May 30, 2026
Lots of good tips, helpful to those of us with chronic illness issues; and not a word about "sparking joy".
June 25, 2026
A bit repetitive in places but very useful. I rather enjoyed this one.
August 27, 2026
I had high hopes for this book considering the introduction. It's good, similar to KC Davis with a few more concrete steps. I just kept hoping for...more.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews