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Thank You, John
Sex sells, but what can it buy?
Thank You, John is Best American Essays Notable Michelle Gurule’s debut a heartfelt, laugh-out-loud tragi-comedy of errors based on her time spent as an inexperienced sugarbaby in 2010s Denver.
Michelle, a queer, wanna-be writer exasperated by student loans, bad teeth, and the poor decisions of her loveable sitcom-worthy family, believes a sugar daddy is written in her density as firmly as she believes her idol, Alanis Morissette, holds the musical blueprint to the life she desires most.
With a salt-of-the-earth Chicano father who's convinced aliens will eventually rule the world, a white mother who maxes out her credit cards on fast food, and a sugar-hyped 7-year-old nephew, Michelle diagnoses herself as self-parentified with a core mistrust in the world’s unreliability. Left to her own devices and barely making ends meet, she turns to the world of stripping until her chance for financial freedom arrives in the form of John, a lonely older man who offers her a weekly pile of cash for lively conversation and sex. She will keep her family, and only her family, availed of all the gritty details.
Grateful and convinced by the immediate improvement money makes in her life, sugaring takes the role of any other exploitative job in America– the physical wear and tear, competition between colleagues, the crossed personal boundaries, dangerous power imbalances, and the reliance on hierarchy to keep only the rich and powerful rich and powerful–it’s just a lot more intimate. A worthy sacrifice, right?
Looking back at her time as a 24-year-old stripper and sugarbaby, struggling to pull herself–and her entire family–out of poverty, Gurule grins and bears it all in a tragi-comedy of heartbreak, complete social isolation and self-denial, glares at The Cheesecake Factory, cringey sex, and scheme after scheme for a better life with everything money can buy.
"Your teeth will ache as you read this book, both with pain and with pleasure.” —Celia Laskey, author of Under the Rainbow and So Happy for You
Thank You, John is Best American Essays Notable Michelle Gurule’s debut a heartfelt, laugh-out-loud tragi-comedy of errors based on her time spent as an inexperienced sugarbaby in 2010s Denver.
Michelle, a queer, wanna-be writer exasperated by student loans, bad teeth, and the poor decisions of her loveable sitcom-worthy family, believes a sugar daddy is written in her density as firmly as she believes her idol, Alanis Morissette, holds the musical blueprint to the life she desires most.
With a salt-of-the-earth Chicano father who's convinced aliens will eventually rule the world, a white mother who maxes out her credit cards on fast food, and a sugar-hyped 7-year-old nephew, Michelle diagnoses herself as self-parentified with a core mistrust in the world’s unreliability. Left to her own devices and barely making ends meet, she turns to the world of stripping until her chance for financial freedom arrives in the form of John, a lonely older man who offers her a weekly pile of cash for lively conversation and sex. She will keep her family, and only her family, availed of all the gritty details.
Grateful and convinced by the immediate improvement money makes in her life, sugaring takes the role of any other exploitative job in America– the physical wear and tear, competition between colleagues, the crossed personal boundaries, dangerous power imbalances, and the reliance on hierarchy to keep only the rich and powerful rich and powerful–it’s just a lot more intimate. A worthy sacrifice, right?
Looking back at her time as a 24-year-old stripper and sugarbaby, struggling to pull herself–and her entire family–out of poverty, Gurule grins and bears it all in a tragi-comedy of heartbreak, complete social isolation and self-denial, glares at The Cheesecake Factory, cringey sex, and scheme after scheme for a better life with everything money can buy.
"Your teeth will ache as you read this book, both with pain and with pleasure.” —Celia Laskey, author of Under the Rainbow and So Happy for You
210 pages, Hardcover
Published September 30, 2025
12 people are currently reading
2344 people want to read
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November 24, 2025
I. Am. Obsessed.
On paper, this isn't a book many will pick up based on shared experience. But damn, I could connect with SO much of this.
Who woulda thunk a memoir "about sex work" would prove to be one of the memoirs I can relate to most? I use " " bc IMO, sex work almost takes a backseat to the other commentary made—on everything from race to politics, lit to privilege.
Her writing gives—& this isn't a knock to either of em—"𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘔𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘢 𝘍𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘴". Their similarities are uncanny, in thee best way. The insight they've gained in this sort of position (𝘯𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥🤭) is impossible to glean from more "domestic" &/or hetero lifestyles & experiences.
I think it's fair to say s3x work is only sustainable if/when you're able to 1) compartmentalize it effectively or 2) be off your face enough to relinquish inhibitions—whether societal pressures, personal qualms, logistical issues, etc. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙔𝙤𝙪, 𝙅𝙤𝙝𝙣 is a masterpiece in the former rationale. In a perf world, this'd be required reading before anyone can participate in or feign opposition to s3x work.
What came as the biggest surprise was the love I felt for her fam—& still feel (always awk when ya know they're real people walking around somewhere who you feel like ya know & love now 😅😂).
I thought my fam was close, but this is another level. At first it's kinda perturbing (I feel v mean saying that...I'm just being honest 😬 lol), but by the end I got it. Despite their reading like a sitcom, the genuine love there is as tangible as it is wholesome. Just because it may not be what you're used to seeing or experiencing, doesn't mean it's any less real.
Writing-wise too, Michelle's immense talent is undeniable. She seamlessly slips into dialogue from testimony, can make ya LOL without losing the gravity of the subject matter. Getting a peek behind the proverbial curtain, sitting alongside Michelle in the bathroom stall ahile she jots down convos too good to have ever made up in her mind, creating what will become this memoir.
𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝙏𝙔𝙅 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦.
Well, I could...but there isn't nearly enough room in a review to do it justice. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞.
Not only will it impact your thoughts on sugaring, but you'll get to experience a badass new author along the way—a name I anticipate hearing A LOT more of.
EDIT: To add that I've now had the absolute pleasure of listening to Elena Rey ( Lucky Red, Cat's People )'s narration as well—PHENOMENAL. If this cover weren't so gorgeous I'd say you can't go wrong either way.
TYSM to Michelle Gurule & Unnamed Press for the #gifted ARC 🥹
On paper, this isn't a book many will pick up based on shared experience. But damn, I could connect with SO much of this.
Who woulda thunk a memoir "about sex work" would prove to be one of the memoirs I can relate to most? I use " " bc IMO, sex work almost takes a backseat to the other commentary made—on everything from race to politics, lit to privilege.
Her writing gives—& this isn't a knock to either of em—"𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘔𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘢 𝘍𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘴". Their similarities are uncanny, in thee best way. The insight they've gained in this sort of position (𝘯𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥🤭) is impossible to glean from more "domestic" &/or hetero lifestyles & experiences.
I think it's fair to say s3x work is only sustainable if/when you're able to 1) compartmentalize it effectively or 2) be off your face enough to relinquish inhibitions—whether societal pressures, personal qualms, logistical issues, etc. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙔𝙤𝙪, 𝙅𝙤𝙝𝙣 is a masterpiece in the former rationale. In a perf world, this'd be required reading before anyone can participate in or feign opposition to s3x work.
What came as the biggest surprise was the love I felt for her fam—& still feel (always awk when ya know they're real people walking around somewhere who you feel like ya know & love now 😅😂).
I thought my fam was close, but this is another level. At first it's kinda perturbing (I feel v mean saying that...I'm just being honest 😬 lol), but by the end I got it. Despite their reading like a sitcom, the genuine love there is as tangible as it is wholesome. Just because it may not be what you're used to seeing or experiencing, doesn't mean it's any less real.
Writing-wise too, Michelle's immense talent is undeniable. She seamlessly slips into dialogue from testimony, can make ya LOL without losing the gravity of the subject matter. Getting a peek behind the proverbial curtain, sitting alongside Michelle in the bathroom stall ahile she jots down convos too good to have ever made up in her mind, creating what will become this memoir.
𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝙏𝙔𝙅 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦.
Well, I could...but there isn't nearly enough room in a review to do it justice. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞.
Not only will it impact your thoughts on sugaring, but you'll get to experience a badass new author along the way—a name I anticipate hearing A LOT more of.
EDIT: To add that I've now had the absolute pleasure of listening to Elena Rey ( Lucky Red, Cat's People )'s narration as well—PHENOMENAL. If this cover weren't so gorgeous I'd say you can't go wrong either way.
TYSM to Michelle Gurule & Unnamed Press for the #gifted ARC 🥹
November 27, 2025
honestly I love when writers write, they have such a good grasp of how to structure a story and keep readers engaged, especially in the context of framing one's own life into a memoir
the lesson that really stood out to me was the numbness and dehumanization in the mental gymnastics rich people go through when spending money in hopes of buying happiness along with the marginalization sex workers can feel due to social stigma
Michelle does such a good job of injecting levity and humor into the narrative. Her interactions with her family were definitely my favorite parts. The dialogue and openness of her parents is so refreshing.
thank you NetGalley and publisher for ARC
the lesson that really stood out to me was the numbness and dehumanization in the mental gymnastics rich people go through when spending money in hopes of buying happiness along with the marginalization sex workers can feel due to social stigma
Michelle does such a good job of injecting levity and humor into the narrative. Her interactions with her family were definitely my favorite parts. The dialogue and openness of her parents is so refreshing.
thank you NetGalley and publisher for ARC
July 26, 2025
thanks to netgalley, the unnamed press, and michelle gurule for the arc in exchange for an honest review of this book! ✨
i initially clicked on this book due to the gorgeous and eye-catching cover, but within the first few pages, i was absolutely sucked into thank you, john.
michelle gurule writes about her experiences stripping and as a sugar baby for john over 2 years through college. the writing in this book is mesmerizing, raw, emotional. it felt like a friend telling a story from the depths of her heart, taking us though the pressures of finances, family, and the emotional weight of being a sex worker and how living a “double life” takes a toll on her. yes, john is disgusting in several ways, but overall, the writing inspires pity. this is a man so desperate for a certain physical and emotional closeness he’s willing to pay any sum for it. the scenes are poignant and uncomfortable, you truly can feel as if you’re there and how uncomfortable it would be, despite the strong reasons to be there.
i came away learning a lot about the reality of sex work, and how many layers there are in how it affects a person. this story was so honest and compelling, i was rooting for the author the whole time. i also loved the inclusions, if a bit meta, about her self-doubt in pursing writing as a career. it added an extra layer in understanding how intense this subject was for her to visit and it was nice to see it reflected in the book.
this was without question a 5-star read and an excellent debut. i look forward to continuing to read anything michelle gurule writes, she is incredibly talented.
December 16, 2025
I stand by everything I wrote in my original review for the ARC of this book; however, I would like to add the following notes after my reread with the ALC:
This second read made me appreciate how much acceptance is conveyed in the memoir. No individual is painted as the villain of this narrative. It is the systems at play that force us into these ununique, unique situations. These are real people with real stories of their own, but this is only one experience from that web, and it is very understanding of each person who formed it.
This book says a lot about family, and I love how Michelle demonstrates appreciation for hers. They’re obviously a big part of her story, and they shine through her words. Also, Latino dads do be making some valid points sometimes LOL. I found solace in Mr. Gurule’s words, especially toward the end. Given the current state of things, a lot of us in the U.S. are in survival mode, and now more than ever, all we can ever do is our best.
Audiobook side note: I loved Elena Rey’s narration. Their tone is clear, smooth, and gentle. She highlighted each family member’s unique character through her voice and remained consistent in her portrayals of John and the professor. I loved that they kept the humor intact and showed care in the messages that Michelle’s words convey.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and Brilliance Publishing for the ALC of this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.
________________________________________________
My ARC Review:
Okay, wow, my second 5-star read of the year!! This is definitely one of my favorite memoirs ever. I want every feminist to read this.
Michelle is such a compelling storyteller as she recounts her two years as a stripper turned sugar baby. This is a story built upon the layers and intersectionality of sexuality, class, race, queerness, stereotypes, survival, privilege, patriarchy, power, need, beauty, boundaries, responsibility, and family. Michelle is transparent in her navigation of these entities and the discomfort she originally buried while maintaining this double life.
This memoir is such an intimate piece, offering insight into the intricate nature of the sex work industry. The writing is raw, expressive, and witty. Michelle is genuine in sharing the lasting impressions of this lifestyle, including the anxiety, secrecy, and emotional detachment. The power imbalances in correlation with her doubts and fears surrounding her career as a writer contrast with the fact that this was published at all. Returning to this time of her life is a statement about power dynamics in a capitalist patriarchal society, and it’s worth absorbing every word of.
Michelle’s storytelling is straightforward without sacrificing the details to paint full pictures of her memories. I could see her world so clearly and move through it seamlessly. The vivid imagery extends to the ways in which Michelle characterizes John, her family, and other important figures. She’s perceptive and does a beautiful job of illustrating her observations and reflections. John is so desperate for a physical and emotional connection that he believes he can put a price tag on the intangible. Regardless of whether or not it’s pathetic, we can, on some level, sympathize with his twisted efforts. Her love and loyalty for her family shine through in the vibrant depictions of their exchanges. Their supportive and nonjudgmental characters added a light to the darker pressures of Michelle’s situation. They also provide us with a better understanding of how she approached the arrangement. The bottom line was that this was a job, and although she was able to reach some form of stability and solidify her next steps, she could not afford to ignore her limits by allowing herself to fall for a fantasy of false security.
Other works of art this book made me think of: The song “Your Power” by Billie Eilish and the film, Anora. Sidenote, I would love to see this book get adapted to film.
Overall, this was a phenomenal debut! This book encapsulates everything I love about memoirs: authentic stories about life as it is—light, darkness, and everything in between. A take-or-leave-it look into one individual’s world with the inevitability of empathy. I look forward to reading more from this author.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and Unnamed Press for the ARC of this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.
This second read made me appreciate how much acceptance is conveyed in the memoir. No individual is painted as the villain of this narrative. It is the systems at play that force us into these ununique, unique situations. These are real people with real stories of their own, but this is only one experience from that web, and it is very understanding of each person who formed it.
This book says a lot about family, and I love how Michelle demonstrates appreciation for hers. They’re obviously a big part of her story, and they shine through her words. Also, Latino dads do be making some valid points sometimes LOL. I found solace in Mr. Gurule’s words, especially toward the end. Given the current state of things, a lot of us in the U.S. are in survival mode, and now more than ever, all we can ever do is our best.
Audiobook side note: I loved Elena Rey’s narration. Their tone is clear, smooth, and gentle. She highlighted each family member’s unique character through her voice and remained consistent in her portrayals of John and the professor. I loved that they kept the humor intact and showed care in the messages that Michelle’s words convey.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and Brilliance Publishing for the ALC of this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.
________________________________________________
My ARC Review:
Okay, wow, my second 5-star read of the year!! This is definitely one of my favorite memoirs ever. I want every feminist to read this.
Michelle is such a compelling storyteller as she recounts her two years as a stripper turned sugar baby. This is a story built upon the layers and intersectionality of sexuality, class, race, queerness, stereotypes, survival, privilege, patriarchy, power, need, beauty, boundaries, responsibility, and family. Michelle is transparent in her navigation of these entities and the discomfort she originally buried while maintaining this double life.
This memoir is such an intimate piece, offering insight into the intricate nature of the sex work industry. The writing is raw, expressive, and witty. Michelle is genuine in sharing the lasting impressions of this lifestyle, including the anxiety, secrecy, and emotional detachment. The power imbalances in correlation with her doubts and fears surrounding her career as a writer contrast with the fact that this was published at all. Returning to this time of her life is a statement about power dynamics in a capitalist patriarchal society, and it’s worth absorbing every word of.
Michelle’s storytelling is straightforward without sacrificing the details to paint full pictures of her memories. I could see her world so clearly and move through it seamlessly. The vivid imagery extends to the ways in which Michelle characterizes John, her family, and other important figures. She’s perceptive and does a beautiful job of illustrating her observations and reflections. John is so desperate for a physical and emotional connection that he believes he can put a price tag on the intangible. Regardless of whether or not it’s pathetic, we can, on some level, sympathize with his twisted efforts. Her love and loyalty for her family shine through in the vibrant depictions of their exchanges. Their supportive and nonjudgmental characters added a light to the darker pressures of Michelle’s situation. They also provide us with a better understanding of how she approached the arrangement. The bottom line was that this was a job, and although she was able to reach some form of stability and solidify her next steps, she could not afford to ignore her limits by allowing herself to fall for a fantasy of false security.
Other works of art this book made me think of: The song “Your Power” by Billie Eilish and the film, Anora. Sidenote, I would love to see this book get adapted to film.
Overall, this was a phenomenal debut! This book encapsulates everything I love about memoirs: authentic stories about life as it is—light, darkness, and everything in between. A take-or-leave-it look into one individual’s world with the inevitability of empathy. I look forward to reading more from this author.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and Unnamed Press for the ARC of this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.
September 26, 2025
The feminist in me is raging. This book is equal parts heartbreaking, funny, tender, smart, and maddening. I want to talk about it to everyone I know. Please do me a favor and compel everyone in your book club to read this.
The great writer Isabel Allende said that when women have money, they pay for things like food for their children and medical care. And when men have money, they buy expensive toys that they think will give them status and power. And that is exactly what we see play out in Michelle Gurule’s memoir about her time as a sex worker. She meets John in a strip club and agrees to weekly dinners and sex so that she can pay for her dental bills and student loans. John is an awkward, lonely investor and landlord who can afford to keep Michelle as his beautiful expensive plaything.
This book is about class, sex, loneliness, and family. It’s about food. It’s about desire. It’s about bodies and beauty. It’s about teeth. It’s about currency and cache in all its forms. It’s about late stage capitalism. It’s about male ego and life inside a patriarchal society, the way men have engineered complicated and dishonest bureaucratic systems and rigged the financial rules of the game in order to hoard wealth so that they can then wield power over women who are left clawing for scraps. It’s about generational predictors of success and it’s about the ways in which we sell our dignity to get by.
A few moments that wrecked me — the part where Michelle holds up a stack of unpaid bills and fans them out in front of her mother and says pick one, she’ll make it disappear, because she just got paid by John for the first time. Oof.
The tongue in cheek title and the part where Michelle comes home with bags of takeout courtesy of John and prompts her family to say thank you — and then the chorus of thank you Johns as they dig into the food. FUCK MY LIFE. What a scene.
The self-soothing she does after the first Marriott encounter, when she realizes her greatest fear, even more than the unwanted sex, is that John will kill her. Recounting the evening to her sister later in the safety of her cramped family apartment, while they play beauty parlor and her sister plucks her eyebrows. Then sitting on her mother’s couch and telling herself she is safe, she is still valuable, she did not die tonight. I cried.
Boating with her father and nephew on a reservoir in Pueblo and there’s a crack in the hull so it requires constant bailing out with a Folgers can. Michelle is asking her father for advice about an issue with John, and her father says I don’t mind if you talk but you gotta keep bailing while you do it. That image just stomped all over my heart.
There are a million moments that I don’t want to give away so that other readers can experience it all for themselves the first time but my god. The things this book did to me. It is written with utmost precision and control. There was a profound lucidity to the writing that made me, a writer, feel like I could suddenly go write a scene myself. Michelle Gurule should teach a masterclass in pacing, nuance, dialogue, and restraint.
Another thing I think is absolutely amazing — I was endeared in some way to every single flawed person in this book. We should hate John but we don’t. (Well, actually, I do fucking hate John. But I didn’t hate him on every single page.) We should be furious that Michelle’s father doesn’t interfere in the arrangement, but we aren’t. How! How is that possible! How do we have compassion for everyone when, because of the circumstances, we might expect to only experience a singular loathing? So much of that has to do with the humane gaze of the author. These characters are so finely and deliberately crafted on the page and the emotional tenor is so perfectly calibrated. I am truly in awe.
This book is stunningly beautiful. I read the whole damn thing in two days on my PHONE for gods sake and I have attention span issues so that is saying something. May we be lucky enough to see this memoir adapted to film. Please TV gods, I am begging you. We need to see this on the screen.
My sincerest thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. I haven’t read a memoir so compelling since The Glass Castle. NOW GO BUY THIS BOOK.
The great writer Isabel Allende said that when women have money, they pay for things like food for their children and medical care. And when men have money, they buy expensive toys that they think will give them status and power. And that is exactly what we see play out in Michelle Gurule’s memoir about her time as a sex worker. She meets John in a strip club and agrees to weekly dinners and sex so that she can pay for her dental bills and student loans. John is an awkward, lonely investor and landlord who can afford to keep Michelle as his beautiful expensive plaything.
This book is about class, sex, loneliness, and family. It’s about food. It’s about desire. It’s about bodies and beauty. It’s about teeth. It’s about currency and cache in all its forms. It’s about late stage capitalism. It’s about male ego and life inside a patriarchal society, the way men have engineered complicated and dishonest bureaucratic systems and rigged the financial rules of the game in order to hoard wealth so that they can then wield power over women who are left clawing for scraps. It’s about generational predictors of success and it’s about the ways in which we sell our dignity to get by.
A few moments that wrecked me — the part where Michelle holds up a stack of unpaid bills and fans them out in front of her mother and says pick one, she’ll make it disappear, because she just got paid by John for the first time. Oof.
The tongue in cheek title and the part where Michelle comes home with bags of takeout courtesy of John and prompts her family to say thank you — and then the chorus of thank you Johns as they dig into the food. FUCK MY LIFE. What a scene.
The self-soothing she does after the first Marriott encounter, when she realizes her greatest fear, even more than the unwanted sex, is that John will kill her. Recounting the evening to her sister later in the safety of her cramped family apartment, while they play beauty parlor and her sister plucks her eyebrows. Then sitting on her mother’s couch and telling herself she is safe, she is still valuable, she did not die tonight. I cried.
Boating with her father and nephew on a reservoir in Pueblo and there’s a crack in the hull so it requires constant bailing out with a Folgers can. Michelle is asking her father for advice about an issue with John, and her father says I don’t mind if you talk but you gotta keep bailing while you do it. That image just stomped all over my heart.
There are a million moments that I don’t want to give away so that other readers can experience it all for themselves the first time but my god. The things this book did to me. It is written with utmost precision and control. There was a profound lucidity to the writing that made me, a writer, feel like I could suddenly go write a scene myself. Michelle Gurule should teach a masterclass in pacing, nuance, dialogue, and restraint.
Another thing I think is absolutely amazing — I was endeared in some way to every single flawed person in this book. We should hate John but we don’t. (Well, actually, I do fucking hate John. But I didn’t hate him on every single page.) We should be furious that Michelle’s father doesn’t interfere in the arrangement, but we aren’t. How! How is that possible! How do we have compassion for everyone when, because of the circumstances, we might expect to only experience a singular loathing? So much of that has to do with the humane gaze of the author. These characters are so finely and deliberately crafted on the page and the emotional tenor is so perfectly calibrated. I am truly in awe.
This book is stunningly beautiful. I read the whole damn thing in two days on my PHONE for gods sake and I have attention span issues so that is saying something. May we be lucky enough to see this memoir adapted to film. Please TV gods, I am begging you. We need to see this on the screen.
My sincerest thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. I haven’t read a memoir so compelling since The Glass Castle. NOW GO BUY THIS BOOK.
June 8, 2025
*With thanks to Netgalley and The Unnamed Press for the chance to read an advance copy of this book - all views are my own*
Michelle Gurule’s memoir had me hooked within the first few pages. It’s a raw and unflinching look at what living in the sort of “acceptable”, commonplace, everyday poverty that so many Americans experience actually means, and it examines head-on the murky territory of realising the potential to mitigate that existence via selling sex - something that still, even in supposedly enlightened spaces such as the university classroom where Michelle spends her days - comes with a string of assumptions and judgements attached to it.
Michelle was a 24 year old student and working part time at Whole Foods when she realised that she could earn more, in less time, by becoming a stripper. She is honest in the book about her ambivalence towards this role; about the hollow disappointment of not earning enough tips; about her own self consciousness and feelings of inadequacy, along with the conflict between her sexuality and identity as a queer woman in the world of selling dances to straight men. So when a wealthy punter offered her the chance to become a sugar baby, and earn previously unimagined sums of money for sharing her time and, of course, her body with him - it felt initially like a no-brainer.
The book goes hard on the lived reality of that experience over the next couple of years of Michelle’s life, as “John” introduces her to the level of luxury that his wealth can fund. One of the first things she asks for is to have her rotting teeth fixed, and this really spoke to me - just to be able to eat without pain was something that she had accepted was out of reach, until with one envelope full of cash John magics the pain away.
John is never portrayed as a monster, and in many ways inspires pity rather than anything else, but Michelle is very honest about the disconnect she has to create between her body and mind to continue with the work he pays her for. It’s a disconnect he appears either not to notice or to conveniently ignore, although sometimes (his slurpy kisses!) it feels like he chooses acts that he knows she likes least, because he can.
John, though, at least at the outset is honest about the transactional nature of their relationship, whereas her university tutor Wes, who enters the story later - a man in a position of authority in Michelle’s life, an educated and supposedly enlightened man who gains enough of Michelle’s trust to be one of the few people she tells about her income source - is a far more predatory and malicious influence upon her. I found the juxtaposition of the two men a really compelling dichotomy.
Overall, I finished up think everyone should read this book and I will buy it for friends when it’s released. I was impressed by its heart - by the unsentimental details of Michelle’s close-knit and loving family, flawed and unconventional but hers to confide in - and by the clear-eyed gaze she turns upon her life at that time, keeping the tone of the book just right, with no hectoring or judgement or self pity. It just is what it is, and yet there’s hope too, and that’s propels it.
Michelle Gurule’s memoir had me hooked within the first few pages. It’s a raw and unflinching look at what living in the sort of “acceptable”, commonplace, everyday poverty that so many Americans experience actually means, and it examines head-on the murky territory of realising the potential to mitigate that existence via selling sex - something that still, even in supposedly enlightened spaces such as the university classroom where Michelle spends her days - comes with a string of assumptions and judgements attached to it.
Michelle was a 24 year old student and working part time at Whole Foods when she realised that she could earn more, in less time, by becoming a stripper. She is honest in the book about her ambivalence towards this role; about the hollow disappointment of not earning enough tips; about her own self consciousness and feelings of inadequacy, along with the conflict between her sexuality and identity as a queer woman in the world of selling dances to straight men. So when a wealthy punter offered her the chance to become a sugar baby, and earn previously unimagined sums of money for sharing her time and, of course, her body with him - it felt initially like a no-brainer.
The book goes hard on the lived reality of that experience over the next couple of years of Michelle’s life, as “John” introduces her to the level of luxury that his wealth can fund. One of the first things she asks for is to have her rotting teeth fixed, and this really spoke to me - just to be able to eat without pain was something that she had accepted was out of reach, until with one envelope full of cash John magics the pain away.
John is never portrayed as a monster, and in many ways inspires pity rather than anything else, but Michelle is very honest about the disconnect she has to create between her body and mind to continue with the work he pays her for. It’s a disconnect he appears either not to notice or to conveniently ignore, although sometimes (his slurpy kisses!) it feels like he chooses acts that he knows she likes least, because he can.
John, though, at least at the outset is honest about the transactional nature of their relationship, whereas her university tutor Wes, who enters the story later - a man in a position of authority in Michelle’s life, an educated and supposedly enlightened man who gains enough of Michelle’s trust to be one of the few people she tells about her income source - is a far more predatory and malicious influence upon her. I found the juxtaposition of the two men a really compelling dichotomy.
Overall, I finished up think everyone should read this book and I will buy it for friends when it’s released. I was impressed by its heart - by the unsentimental details of Michelle’s close-knit and loving family, flawed and unconventional but hers to confide in - and by the clear-eyed gaze she turns upon her life at that time, keeping the tone of the book just right, with no hectoring or judgement or self pity. It just is what it is, and yet there’s hope too, and that’s propels it.
December 1, 2025
This memoir is unlike anything I have picked up in a long time. It is raw, candid, and unexpectedly layered. Michelle Gurule takes readers straight into her life as a young sugar baby and stripper in 2010s Denver, and she tells it with a mix of humor, heartbreak, and sharp emotional honesty. The plot is bold on its own, but what makes it stand out is the way she balances the realities of sex work with family obligation, survival, identity, and the weight of her own choices.
Her writing is incredibly vivid. When she described the intimacy she endured and the moments she felt genuine repulsion, I felt it in my body. That is not easy to pull off. She writes with precision and emotional accuracy that makes every reaction believable.
Surprisingly, the parts that stayed with me most were her reflections on her family and the confessions about her work toward the end. I found myself more invested in the family dynamics than even the day to day details of sugaring because she wrote those relationships with so much honesty and complexity.
What kept this from being a full five star read for me were the political references. I understood why she included the contrast and conflict, but it was brought up more than it needed to be and pulled focus from the heart of the story. The Alanis references also felt unnecessary, though in memoir I understand that personal details will always surface.
Overall this is bold and vulnerable with a unique plot that sets it apart from other memoirs. A fast and emotional read that left an impression.
Her writing is incredibly vivid. When she described the intimacy she endured and the moments she felt genuine repulsion, I felt it in my body. That is not easy to pull off. She writes with precision and emotional accuracy that makes every reaction believable.
Surprisingly, the parts that stayed with me most were her reflections on her family and the confessions about her work toward the end. I found myself more invested in the family dynamics than even the day to day details of sugaring because she wrote those relationships with so much honesty and complexity.
What kept this from being a full five star read for me were the political references. I understood why she included the contrast and conflict, but it was brought up more than it needed to be and pulled focus from the heart of the story. The Alanis references also felt unnecessary, though in memoir I understand that personal details will always surface.
Overall this is bold and vulnerable with a unique plot that sets it apart from other memoirs. A fast and emotional read that left an impression.
December 13, 2025
I completely devoured this delicious memoir. Michelle’s experience of being a poor college student looking out for her family to rich sugar baby being able to provide for them and herself is a testament of what we as humans (namely women and sex workers) are willing to do for security. I loved the contrasts she makes in regard to her own feelings compared to her sugar daddy’s, what feminism really is and how some people, such as her professor, manipulate it for their own misogynistic benefit. All together this is a beautiful story about generational family/personal sacrifice, ivory tower privilege and distortion of reality, and looking at life through the lens that portions of it don’t last forever.
Thank you to NetGalley, Brilliance Publishing, and Brilliance Audio for the early access!
Thank you to NetGalley, Brilliance Publishing, and Brilliance Audio for the early access!
Want to read
October 19, 2025Thank you to Unnamed Press for the free copy - I love me a good memoir!
December 31, 2025
Vibes:
➤ Sex Work/Sugar Baby
➤ Generational Poverty
➤ Exploration of Acceptance
➤ Tragicomedy
Highlights:
➤ Michelle writes about the way financial instability fuels a bone deep exhaustion with experience and education. A rare and refreshing voice on this topic. The conversations on harder work, is not equal to more money were some of the many important conversations in this story.
➤ This memoir has so many themes of acceptance that I greatly admired. There are no villains in a story that could have been filled with many justifiable resentments. Michelle sees and writes about her characters as they are — void of judgement and blame.
➤ MG writes about sex work in a way that is raw and humbled, yet removed from any judgmental emotion. I appreciate the way she forced readers to confront that yes, it’s exploitive, but so are so many other low income jobs in America.
➤ The family!!! Sitcom worthy as promised. But what I find most special and most important is that despite any perceived failings by her parents, what an absolute gift to have a support system who saw her as her own person.
➤ Sex Work/Sugar Baby
➤ Generational Poverty
➤ Exploration of Acceptance
➤ Tragicomedy
Highlights:
➤ Michelle writes about the way financial instability fuels a bone deep exhaustion with experience and education. A rare and refreshing voice on this topic. The conversations on harder work, is not equal to more money were some of the many important conversations in this story.
➤ This memoir has so many themes of acceptance that I greatly admired. There are no villains in a story that could have been filled with many justifiable resentments. Michelle sees and writes about her characters as they are — void of judgement and blame.
➤ MG writes about sex work in a way that is raw and humbled, yet removed from any judgmental emotion. I appreciate the way she forced readers to confront that yes, it’s exploitive, but so are so many other low income jobs in America.
➤ The family!!! Sitcom worthy as promised. But what I find most special and most important is that despite any perceived failings by her parents, what an absolute gift to have a support system who saw her as her own person.
June 20, 2025
It's the world's oldest profession, but do we know why women engage in sex work or why men are often eager to offer it? That's part of the premise of this memoir by Michelle Gurule, which focuses on her time as a stripper and sugar baby in her early 20s. Her writing is intimate, descriptive, and funny, as she recounts her life in sugaring and with her family.
This was a fascinating look at both sides of the industry as told from Michelle's perspective, as she vacillates between how her arrangement may change her life positively by helping pay off debt, providing for her family, and enjoying little luxuries, or if it is worth the deep loneliness and fear of judgment she expects from others. As a young stripper, she initially presents her identity as a queer woman (namely, lesbian), but I was left wondering how this may or may not have affected her during the course of her arrangement with John (she seemingly never discloses this to him) and in her friendship/relationship with a professor she meets later on. There was potential of bridging the fear of judgment in both her queer identity and sugaring experience that didn't quite connect, but would have provided interesting context!
Overall, this was a very engaging read about her lived experiences and how we carry the weight of our choices and learn how to trust ourselves. I would definitely recommend this to anyone who enjoys memoirs, particularly about those who take a more unconventional path.
I received an advanced digital copy of this book from The Unamed Press through NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
This was a fascinating look at both sides of the industry as told from Michelle's perspective, as she vacillates between how her arrangement may change her life positively by helping pay off debt, providing for her family, and enjoying little luxuries, or if it is worth the deep loneliness and fear of judgment she expects from others. As a young stripper, she initially presents her identity as a queer woman (namely, lesbian), but I was left wondering how this may or may not have affected her during the course of her arrangement with John (she seemingly never discloses this to him) and in her friendship/relationship with a professor she meets later on. There was potential of bridging the fear of judgment in both her queer identity and sugaring experience that didn't quite connect, but would have provided interesting context!
Overall, this was a very engaging read about her lived experiences and how we carry the weight of our choices and learn how to trust ourselves. I would definitely recommend this to anyone who enjoys memoirs, particularly about those who take a more unconventional path.
I received an advanced digital copy of this book from The Unamed Press through NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
July 1, 2025
Thank You, John is an honest, raw and insightful glimpse into the world of Michelle Gurule, a talented writer who was a sex worker. Michelle wrote a deeply personal and emotional memoir, sharing her experiences working as a stripper and then sugar baby for ‘John’, a rich middle-aged lonely man.
With the income from working for John, Michelle was able to achieve financial goals she had previously deemed impossible. She shares the highs and lows of the sugar baby lifestyle, and the impact it had on her body, mind and spirit.
This was one of the best memoirs I have read, and I would recommend it to anyone who is willing to read it with an open mind, understanding and compassion.
With the income from working for John, Michelle was able to achieve financial goals she had previously deemed impossible. She shares the highs and lows of the sugar baby lifestyle, and the impact it had on her body, mind and spirit.
This was one of the best memoirs I have read, and I would recommend it to anyone who is willing to read it with an open mind, understanding and compassion.
October 3, 2025
Raw, funny, and full of heart. I laughed out loud, underlined half the book, and stayed up way too late reading. Michelle’s story is an unforgettable blend of grit, humor, and love — a memoir that sees the world’s cruelty clearly but still finds beauty and meaning in it.
I gobbled up this book in two days. I didn’t want to take two days. I tried my hardest to push past the sleepiness that came with reading well past my bed time — I even contemplated making a cup of midnight coffee — all because this was such an enjoyable read and I didn’t want to put it down.
It’s a beautifully told story, full of compassion and humor, that manages to capture the essence of capitalism — how it keeps the rich and powerful exactly that — without ever feeling heavy or hopeless. Michelle balances honesty, earnestness, and gratitude for what she does have. What could have been a dark or bitter story about the hand she was dealt instead becomes one illuminated by wit and heart. “I feared my body knew I had been tainted by a for-profit penis.” Iconic.
I found Michelle immediately endearing in her first description of awkwardly stripping and her conversation with John about parallel universes. She asks him who he’d be in another life, and he admits he’s never thought about anything like that before. It sets the tone for the whole book. Michelle’s whole life even as a child revolved around understanding the importance of money (survival). When she first gets paid by John, she immediately uses it for dental care. These are things that people born into wealth never have to consider.
She writes, “…my mom’s bed, like so many others, had been made before she was born…she would have needed a miraculous intervention or a secret guide to escape her predetermined path.” And later: “It would have been too confronting for John to admit that I was in this arrangement with him to survive…these daddies were sharing their money with babies who simply hadn’t worked hard enough to have the same wealth.” Chef’s kiss.
Michelle perfectly captures the hollow rhetoric of “I worked really hard for this” from those born into privilege, while we see her working actually hard just to keep her head above water. When her car’s starter dies and she can’t afford the $198 repair, she parks near other cars and keeps jumper cables on hand for FIVE weeks. Yet you don’t feel pity or despair reading this. Instead, you’re laughing at the absurdity — like when her dad can’t hear her over her sputtering engine as she tries to tell him she’s just been offered money for “dinner” and so she has to yell it to him.
I love that, even as Michelle hides stripping from her friends, she remains honest with her parents. This paragraph captures it so perfectly: “The night of the first kiss I held an emergency meeting with my mom and sister in our living room. I considered looping my dad in on speakerphone, but my mom objected. ‘What good will your dad be?’ she asked. ‘He’s probably a worse kisser than John.’”
Her family’s dynamic is hilarious and tender all at once. I loved their ritual of thanking John so the universe would know she wanted more of that. The story of the leaky boat and the Folger’s can, scooping water out mid-conversation, was written with such affection that you can’t help but fall for her family, flaws and all.
And then there’s the scene where she describes her dad telling her that his own father never said “I love you.” Michelle writes that her grandfather’s resistance acted like a slingshot, that she received all the love he’d withheld from his son. Ugh. Stunning.
Okay I will stop here before I just retype the entire book with everything I have earmarked and underlined. This memoir is incredible. A truly unique story that deserves to be told.
Michelle, you deserve all the wonderful things the universe has to give
(Also, FUCK Wes.)
I gobbled up this book in two days. I didn’t want to take two days. I tried my hardest to push past the sleepiness that came with reading well past my bed time — I even contemplated making a cup of midnight coffee — all because this was such an enjoyable read and I didn’t want to put it down.
It’s a beautifully told story, full of compassion and humor, that manages to capture the essence of capitalism — how it keeps the rich and powerful exactly that — without ever feeling heavy or hopeless. Michelle balances honesty, earnestness, and gratitude for what she does have. What could have been a dark or bitter story about the hand she was dealt instead becomes one illuminated by wit and heart. “I feared my body knew I had been tainted by a for-profit penis.” Iconic.
I found Michelle immediately endearing in her first description of awkwardly stripping and her conversation with John about parallel universes. She asks him who he’d be in another life, and he admits he’s never thought about anything like that before. It sets the tone for the whole book. Michelle’s whole life even as a child revolved around understanding the importance of money (survival). When she first gets paid by John, she immediately uses it for dental care. These are things that people born into wealth never have to consider.
She writes, “…my mom’s bed, like so many others, had been made before she was born…she would have needed a miraculous intervention or a secret guide to escape her predetermined path.” And later: “It would have been too confronting for John to admit that I was in this arrangement with him to survive…these daddies were sharing their money with babies who simply hadn’t worked hard enough to have the same wealth.” Chef’s kiss.
Michelle perfectly captures the hollow rhetoric of “I worked really hard for this” from those born into privilege, while we see her working actually hard just to keep her head above water. When her car’s starter dies and she can’t afford the $198 repair, she parks near other cars and keeps jumper cables on hand for FIVE weeks. Yet you don’t feel pity or despair reading this. Instead, you’re laughing at the absurdity — like when her dad can’t hear her over her sputtering engine as she tries to tell him she’s just been offered money for “dinner” and so she has to yell it to him.
I love that, even as Michelle hides stripping from her friends, she remains honest with her parents. This paragraph captures it so perfectly: “The night of the first kiss I held an emergency meeting with my mom and sister in our living room. I considered looping my dad in on speakerphone, but my mom objected. ‘What good will your dad be?’ she asked. ‘He’s probably a worse kisser than John.’”
Her family’s dynamic is hilarious and tender all at once. I loved their ritual of thanking John so the universe would know she wanted more of that. The story of the leaky boat and the Folger’s can, scooping water out mid-conversation, was written with such affection that you can’t help but fall for her family, flaws and all.
And then there’s the scene where she describes her dad telling her that his own father never said “I love you.” Michelle writes that her grandfather’s resistance acted like a slingshot, that she received all the love he’d withheld from his son. Ugh. Stunning.
Okay I will stop here before I just retype the entire book with everything I have earmarked and underlined. This memoir is incredible. A truly unique story that deserves to be told.
Michelle, you deserve all the wonderful things the universe has to give
(Also, FUCK Wes.)
November 30, 2025
Michelle Gurule’s memoir about her time as a sex worker and “sugar baby” is compelling and thoughtful. She faces constant moral dilemmas, especially as the lack of basic needs—education, stability, dental care—pushes her toward an arrangement with a man she calls “John.” Her desire to support her family, fix her teeth, and pay off student loans is a powerful motivator, and her guilt surfaces in honest, relatable waves. Ultimately, the book reads as a sharp critique of the systems and patriarchal structures that box people into impossible choices, exemplified by figures like the questionable professor “Wes.” I have no judgment of Michelle’s decisions—people do what they must to survive—and her path ultimately led her to an MFA program and the ability to write this memoir, which is an achievement in itself. I enjoyed her self-deprecating tone and connected deeply with her struggles as someone who also navigated college without resources. I withheld one star only because the final 10% felt a bit too neatly resolved.
Thank you to NetGalley, Brilliance Publishing, and Brilliance Audio for the ARC!
Thank you to NetGalley, Brilliance Publishing, and Brilliance Audio for the ARC!
November 13, 2025
⭐️4.9 One of my fav reads in a long time! I laughed with the family antics, my gut clenched with anxiety at the anticipated intimacy, my eyes rolled at the misunderstood comments from classmates.
I felt connected and seen through shared experience: growing up poor in Colorado (Olive Garden was my family’s Cheesecake Factory), I often sit in my moms bed with my sister just yapping about things people would never discuss with their parents, and just, well, being a woman around the same age in our society.
I also felt connected through experiences I’ve never had: having a deep connection with John, hiding a secret life of sex work, the fear of being unabashedly open with her truth.
Just a FANTASTIC read that challenges what we are all conditioned to think about women, sex work, money, and relationships. I cannot thank her enough for sharing her story. (P.s. I met Michelle at a book signing event and she was just as lovely off the page!)
I felt connected and seen through shared experience: growing up poor in Colorado (Olive Garden was my family’s Cheesecake Factory), I often sit in my moms bed with my sister just yapping about things people would never discuss with their parents, and just, well, being a woman around the same age in our society.
I also felt connected through experiences I’ve never had: having a deep connection with John, hiding a secret life of sex work, the fear of being unabashedly open with her truth.
Just a FANTASTIC read that challenges what we are all conditioned to think about women, sex work, money, and relationships. I cannot thank her enough for sharing her story. (P.s. I met Michelle at a book signing event and she was just as lovely off the page!)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 23, 2025
Oh my goodness, the way this just skyrocketed to a place in my top 3 memoirs of the year. Why is this so relatable? I have never been a sex worker but I have been an 18 year old university student living in a new city having her debit card decline for 5$.
Michelle Gurule puts everything into perfect perspective. What would you do to try to get your family out of poverty? What would you put yourself through? And once you’re in how do you get out? She also shows compassion for John in her depictions of him which, girl, you are a better woman than me.
Lastly can we note that sugar babies are often viewed as being “greedy” or expected to be living these extravagant life styles while her salary was literally 58,000$ a year and she was supporting her parents, sister, nephew and trying to get through university on that amount?
This is engaging from beginning to end and the storytelling is sublime.
MUST read. Thank you Brilliance Publishing for the ARC
Michelle Gurule puts everything into perfect perspective. What would you do to try to get your family out of poverty? What would you put yourself through? And once you’re in how do you get out? She also shows compassion for John in her depictions of him which, girl, you are a better woman than me.
Lastly can we note that sugar babies are often viewed as being “greedy” or expected to be living these extravagant life styles while her salary was literally 58,000$ a year and she was supporting her parents, sister, nephew and trying to get through university on that amount?
This is engaging from beginning to end and the storytelling is sublime.
MUST read. Thank you Brilliance Publishing for the ARC
October 16, 2025
An unflinching look at sex work but also the economic factors and structures we all exist within. Gurule writes with the type of honesty and vulnerability that makes this memoir a page-turner. Your curiosity will pull you in but her exploration of her family as well as her sense of humor will keep you in it.
August 26, 2025
“We contradict ourselves, but how can we not? We’re flawed creatures that live in a flawed world.”
Thank You, John is a testament to all that good nonfiction can do—rend your heart in two and then patch it up again, after enlarging it to hold the weight of another’s story, another’s truth. Gurule’s prose shines with equal parts compassion, humor, incisive political and social critique and, above all, grace.
It was an honor to read this manuscript as an earlier draft and an even greater honor to see it blossom into this book. Readers will be enthralled with Gurule’s sharp observations about our late-stage capitalist society, horrified by the ways we all can betray one another’s trust, and soothed by the transformative power of sharing our stories—with all their jagged edges—as a means of healing.
Thank You, John is a testament to all that good nonfiction can do—rend your heart in two and then patch it up again, after enlarging it to hold the weight of another’s story, another’s truth. Gurule’s prose shines with equal parts compassion, humor, incisive political and social critique and, above all, grace.
It was an honor to read this manuscript as an earlier draft and an even greater honor to see it blossom into this book. Readers will be enthralled with Gurule’s sharp observations about our late-stage capitalist society, horrified by the ways we all can betray one another’s trust, and soothed by the transformative power of sharing our stories—with all their jagged edges—as a means of healing.
December 15, 2025
I’ve been waiting for a while to read this book and it do not disappoint! This book is amazing. It’s real, wild and funny. I loved her honesty and ability to tell her story. Thanks NetGallery!
October 18, 2025
thank you to netgalley and the publisher for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review!!
as a lesbian who has worked in the sw industry on and off for the past 5+ years, this memoir was right up my alley. i felt connected to Michelle right away and i couldn’t put this book down.
it genuinely gave such great insight into what it’s like doing sw and the commentary on class / privilege was really well done also. highly highly recommend
as a lesbian who has worked in the sw industry on and off for the past 5+ years, this memoir was right up my alley. i felt connected to Michelle right away and i couldn’t put this book down.
it genuinely gave such great insight into what it’s like doing sw and the commentary on class / privilege was really well done also. highly highly recommend
November 6, 2025
LOVED! This easily jumped into my favorite books for this year!
December 11, 2025
4.5
I adore this book and I adore Michelle. Her characters are so rich and real, her prose insightful and self-deprecating (but not too much). This has given me so much courage and so many ideas for the memoir that lives inside of me.
I adore this book and I adore Michelle. Her characters are so rich and real, her prose insightful and self-deprecating (but not too much). This has given me so much courage and so many ideas for the memoir that lives inside of me.
July 24, 2025
Gurule has written a memoir of sorts about her time as a sex worker; how she battled with the nature of that and how to create her life past it.
It's an engaging read that definitely challenges stereotypes - but not in a preachy way. You feel all manner of emotions as you read - sympathy, happiness, sadness, empowered... the list goes on. There's quite a lot of social commentary within it but from a place of realism and real lives which made it really interesting.
It's an engaging read that definitely challenges stereotypes - but not in a preachy way. You feel all manner of emotions as you read - sympathy, happiness, sadness, empowered... the list goes on. There's quite a lot of social commentary within it but from a place of realism and real lives which made it really interesting.
July 9, 2025
In her debut memoir ‘Thank You, John’ Michelle Gurule offers us a slice of the most tender two years of her life - her time working as a sugar baby, as a queer woman, drowning in debt. While facing internal turmoil over her choices and the opportunities this new position provides, Gurule finds herself closing off from friends and herself while pushing her way through college.
Providing this partnership to John gives her the chance to dig herself out of student debt, upgrade some of the essential tools she needs in order to become the first in her family to complete college and to desperately get the dental work done that has caused her aches for as long as she can remember. Becoming a sugar baby, and repressing her queer identity to keep up the illusion, becomes essential to getting her family out of debt and providing them an escape from borderline poverty.
I absolutely loved the commentary she provides on the s*x work industry and her struggles to find genuine conversations around being a sugar baby. While we often hear about the extremes of s*x work (often laced with violence) I found this gray area she explored to be so important. Ultimately it is a job, it is work and sometimes you need to be able to discuss what it’s like without fear of judgement or retaliation. There seems to be an unspoken rule about not talking about how har sit can be because of those things.
I related to Gurule’s financial struggles in so many ways, it felt like she could have been sharing stories from my own childhood. I distinctly remember the point where I stopped going to the dentist and later paid for it with emergency extractions. I stopped attending college after getting my associates because of the fear of student debt, a choice I still regret at times. If I had the opportunity Gurule had, I may have done the same.
What shines most throughout is the absolutely unconditional love that her family shares and the ways in which they support her through this time & as she decides to end her relationship with John. There are some hilarious, endearing and sad moments throughout and I only wanted more.
I was so truly moved and I think Michelle Gurule’s story is so very important and I truly hope everyone gives this a read when it’s out in September.
Providing this partnership to John gives her the chance to dig herself out of student debt, upgrade some of the essential tools she needs in order to become the first in her family to complete college and to desperately get the dental work done that has caused her aches for as long as she can remember. Becoming a sugar baby, and repressing her queer identity to keep up the illusion, becomes essential to getting her family out of debt and providing them an escape from borderline poverty.
I absolutely loved the commentary she provides on the s*x work industry and her struggles to find genuine conversations around being a sugar baby. While we often hear about the extremes of s*x work (often laced with violence) I found this gray area she explored to be so important. Ultimately it is a job, it is work and sometimes you need to be able to discuss what it’s like without fear of judgement or retaliation. There seems to be an unspoken rule about not talking about how har sit can be because of those things.
I related to Gurule’s financial struggles in so many ways, it felt like she could have been sharing stories from my own childhood. I distinctly remember the point where I stopped going to the dentist and later paid for it with emergency extractions. I stopped attending college after getting my associates because of the fear of student debt, a choice I still regret at times. If I had the opportunity Gurule had, I may have done the same.
What shines most throughout is the absolutely unconditional love that her family shares and the ways in which they support her through this time & as she decides to end her relationship with John. There are some hilarious, endearing and sad moments throughout and I only wanted more.
I was so truly moved and I think Michelle Gurule’s story is so very important and I truly hope everyone gives this a read when it’s out in September.
July 2, 2025
Thank you Unnamed Press for this Advanced Reader Copy. It was truly a delightful read :)
"Thank You, John" by Michelle Gurule is, without a doubt, one of the most powerful and honest memoirs I've read recently. From the very first pages, I was hooked by Gurule's raw and unflinching dive into her experiences as a stripper and then a sugar baby to "John," a wealthy, lonely man.
What truly struck me was Michelle's voice – it's just so authentic and real. Her writing is intimate, descriptive, and often hilariously funny, which might surprise you given the subject matter, but it perfectly balances the deeper emotional insights. I was honestly surprised hearing that this is her debut work - the writing flew so smoothly like that from an experienced author.
This memoir bravely tackles the complex realities of sex work. Michelle openly discusses how the income from her arrangement with John enabled her to achieve financial goals she’d previously deemed impossible, like paying off debt and supporting her family. But Michelle doesn't shy away from the darker side either. She candidly shares the deep loneliness, the fear of judgment, and the emotional disconnect she had to create. It made me reflect on the shame society often places on this type of work, and how unfair that can be. This was an exceptional read and I can't wait to see what the author comes up with in the future!
"Thank You, John" by Michelle Gurule is, without a doubt, one of the most powerful and honest memoirs I've read recently. From the very first pages, I was hooked by Gurule's raw and unflinching dive into her experiences as a stripper and then a sugar baby to "John," a wealthy, lonely man.
What truly struck me was Michelle's voice – it's just so authentic and real. Her writing is intimate, descriptive, and often hilariously funny, which might surprise you given the subject matter, but it perfectly balances the deeper emotional insights. I was honestly surprised hearing that this is her debut work - the writing flew so smoothly like that from an experienced author.
This memoir bravely tackles the complex realities of sex work. Michelle openly discusses how the income from her arrangement with John enabled her to achieve financial goals she’d previously deemed impossible, like paying off debt and supporting her family. But Michelle doesn't shy away from the darker side either. She candidly shares the deep loneliness, the fear of judgment, and the emotional disconnect she had to create. It made me reflect on the shame society often places on this type of work, and how unfair that can be. This was an exceptional read and I can't wait to see what the author comes up with in the future!
May 22, 2025
This is one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Through striking sincerity and humor, Gurule ushers the reader into strip clubs, hotel rooms, restaurant booths, and texting threads, flipping the American Dream onto its head with charm and truth.
May 30, 2025
this was an AWESOME read with lots to chew on
November 24, 2025
A raw, honest look at survival under capitalism...
This book follows Michelle through a wild financial journey—starting as a broke university student who is working in grocery stores, then stripping, and eventually becoming a sugar baby. It’s not glamorous or flashy; it’s just her doing whatever she has to do to stay afloat.
What really stood out to me is how practical and down-to-earth she is with the money she earns. She’s not out splurging—she’s paying for Christmas gifts for her family, covering dinners, fixing her car, getting her badly needed dental work, and chipping away at student loans. All the stuff most people don’t even think twice about becomes life-changing for her. “Money buys miracles” hits hard here.
Her family is actually one of the most heartwarming parts of the book. They know about her sex work—unlike her friends—and they’re incredibly supportive. They check in on her, help her with decisions, and just give her a place to talk honestly and feel safe. It’s so rare to read a sex-work memoir where a woman is met with love instead of judgment, and it makes her entire journey feel even more human and vulnerable.
At the same time, the book is a pretty scathing reminder of how unfair and exhausting capitalism can be. Underneath everything is this heavy, suffocating pressure: the reality of living in a world where the gap between surviving and collapsing is terrifyingly thin. Michelle keeps hustling, keeps going with her sugaring work, but somehow it’s still never enough to feel secure—not for her, not for her parents’ future, not for anything long-term. And as the demands of being a sugar baby get heavier—physically and mentally—she gets stuck in that horrible space where she wants out but can’t afford to quit.
This book is raw, painful, intimate, and so incredibly brave. It’s painfully relatable if you’ve ever felt like you’re running just to stand still. A really powerful read about survival, family, and the cost of simply existing in today’s world. This one's going to stay with me for a while.
Thank you NetGalley and Brilliance Audio for the advanced audiobook in exchange for my honest review.
This book follows Michelle through a wild financial journey—starting as a broke university student who is working in grocery stores, then stripping, and eventually becoming a sugar baby. It’s not glamorous or flashy; it’s just her doing whatever she has to do to stay afloat.
What really stood out to me is how practical and down-to-earth she is with the money she earns. She’s not out splurging—she’s paying for Christmas gifts for her family, covering dinners, fixing her car, getting her badly needed dental work, and chipping away at student loans. All the stuff most people don’t even think twice about becomes life-changing for her. “Money buys miracles” hits hard here.
Her family is actually one of the most heartwarming parts of the book. They know about her sex work—unlike her friends—and they’re incredibly supportive. They check in on her, help her with decisions, and just give her a place to talk honestly and feel safe. It’s so rare to read a sex-work memoir where a woman is met with love instead of judgment, and it makes her entire journey feel even more human and vulnerable.
At the same time, the book is a pretty scathing reminder of how unfair and exhausting capitalism can be. Underneath everything is this heavy, suffocating pressure: the reality of living in a world where the gap between surviving and collapsing is terrifyingly thin. Michelle keeps hustling, keeps going with her sugaring work, but somehow it’s still never enough to feel secure—not for her, not for her parents’ future, not for anything long-term. And as the demands of being a sugar baby get heavier—physically and mentally—she gets stuck in that horrible space where she wants out but can’t afford to quit.
This book is raw, painful, intimate, and so incredibly brave. It’s painfully relatable if you’ve ever felt like you’re running just to stand still. A really powerful read about survival, family, and the cost of simply existing in today’s world. This one's going to stay with me for a while.
Thank you NetGalley and Brilliance Audio for the advanced audiobook in exchange for my honest review.
December 3, 2025
I always find it difficult to rate memoirs, especially when I don’t have a head-over-heels five star experience with them. Of course, it’s someone’s life, and I’m not here to pass judgment on their experiences - my rating is really more about how the narrative was written and conveyed.
Michelle Gurule is a former sex worker, a sugar baby to a wealthy businessman in his 50s who she meets when dancing at a strip club in Denver. She didn’t really intend to become a sex worker - her dates with “John” just started off as expensive dinners where she was well compensated for her ability to engage him in deep conversations like he’d never experienced before. In fact, Michelle is a lesbian and doesn’t really feel attracted to men, let alone men twice her age. But as an aspiring writer paying entirely out of pocket for her degree, a mountain of dental bills, and a working class family who struggled her whole life, Michelle can’t pass up the eye watering money John offers her to turn their relationship sexual.
Much of the book is about the cognitive, physical, and emotional dissonance Michelle feels about her arrangement with John - the unfairness of needing to sell her body to just live a life of moderate safety, the daily out of body discomfort at needing to please John. All of this is both fascinating and uncomfortable to read. But this book is also quite long, and goes into many areas beyond this that get messy and stray from what I think could have made this book leaner and stronger.
Michelle has a complicated, borderline toxic relationship with her college professor, one that I frankly did not understand. There’s a long storyline about her scheme to get rich by taking life insurance out on her dad or grandma. There are many other threads that I think could have been cut to sharpen up this book a bit - and again, I feel bad saying this because all of this felt important to the author and her lived experiences! But this is where an editor needs to come in to craft a stronger narrative, as an individual really can’t do that with their own life.
Michelle Gurule is a former sex worker, a sugar baby to a wealthy businessman in his 50s who she meets when dancing at a strip club in Denver. She didn’t really intend to become a sex worker - her dates with “John” just started off as expensive dinners where she was well compensated for her ability to engage him in deep conversations like he’d never experienced before. In fact, Michelle is a lesbian and doesn’t really feel attracted to men, let alone men twice her age. But as an aspiring writer paying entirely out of pocket for her degree, a mountain of dental bills, and a working class family who struggled her whole life, Michelle can’t pass up the eye watering money John offers her to turn their relationship sexual.
Much of the book is about the cognitive, physical, and emotional dissonance Michelle feels about her arrangement with John - the unfairness of needing to sell her body to just live a life of moderate safety, the daily out of body discomfort at needing to please John. All of this is both fascinating and uncomfortable to read. But this book is also quite long, and goes into many areas beyond this that get messy and stray from what I think could have made this book leaner and stronger.
Michelle has a complicated, borderline toxic relationship with her college professor, one that I frankly did not understand. There’s a long storyline about her scheme to get rich by taking life insurance out on her dad or grandma. There are many other threads that I think could have been cut to sharpen up this book a bit - and again, I feel bad saying this because all of this felt important to the author and her lived experiences! But this is where an editor needs to come in to craft a stronger narrative, as an individual really can’t do that with their own life.
February 4, 2026
What an incredible memoir! Thank You, John is so full of depth, growth, self-discovery, and the examination of such a wide range of topics from class & wealth gaps to race & gender issues, I never forgot I was reading about a s*x worker, but I also felt so much more along the way.
Michelle is an incredible writer who captures mundane details (and takes the reader along while she jots these down immediately) wrapped around monumental life decisions while trying to keep her head above water. At times I felt frustrated by the imperfection of these “characters,” and remembered these are real people living genuine realities within my own geographic borders, which brought a level of sympathy for flaws that’s sometimes hard to grasp.
It’s strange, too, for me to find myself relating to this book so much. In 2020, we befriended a wealthy neighbor, and while I didn’t become his sugarbaby, I did try to wake him up politically and point out disparities he was entirely blind to. We’ve since lost touch, because he definitely wielded money like a weapon, but I often wonder if I ever got through and what he feels about the current state of America.
The gap between the haves & the have-nots continues to widen, and when privileged people can’t conceptualize that everyone doesn’t “just want a handout” but often circumstances entirely out of one’s control starts them far behind before they’re even born, books like TYJ that explain & detail this gap with such rawness are so important.
I enjoyed the politics and the capturing of a (terrible) moment in time in the US. I enjoyed the depth of Michelle’s relationship with John, whether she wanted to form an attachment or not. I think the way Michelle lays out how easily underprivileged *especially women can be taken advantage of in a way that doesn’t evoke pity but understanding is impressive.
This book is a full of tough topics and gritty moments, but it’s oddly beautiful and the audio narration is excellently done. I’d HIGHLY recommend this listen.
Michelle is an incredible writer who captures mundane details (and takes the reader along while she jots these down immediately) wrapped around monumental life decisions while trying to keep her head above water. At times I felt frustrated by the imperfection of these “characters,” and remembered these are real people living genuine realities within my own geographic borders, which brought a level of sympathy for flaws that’s sometimes hard to grasp.
It’s strange, too, for me to find myself relating to this book so much. In 2020, we befriended a wealthy neighbor, and while I didn’t become his sugarbaby, I did try to wake him up politically and point out disparities he was entirely blind to. We’ve since lost touch, because he definitely wielded money like a weapon, but I often wonder if I ever got through and what he feels about the current state of America.
The gap between the haves & the have-nots continues to widen, and when privileged people can’t conceptualize that everyone doesn’t “just want a handout” but often circumstances entirely out of one’s control starts them far behind before they’re even born, books like TYJ that explain & detail this gap with such rawness are so important.
I enjoyed the politics and the capturing of a (terrible) moment in time in the US. I enjoyed the depth of Michelle’s relationship with John, whether she wanted to form an attachment or not. I think the way Michelle lays out how easily underprivileged *especially women can be taken advantage of in a way that doesn’t evoke pity but understanding is impressive.
This book is a full of tough topics and gritty moments, but it’s oddly beautiful and the audio narration is excellently done. I’d HIGHLY recommend this listen.
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