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Audible Audio
First published March 4, 2025
"It dawns on me, of course, that rape victims are never meant to win. We're not meant to survive this at all. If we make it through the rape without drowning in our own blood, law enforcement, the justice system, and America itself are there to finish the job. To quiet our voices and sever our tongues. To betray us a second time. That's what it means to be raped."
"Every six months, I'll have to relive this nightmare and retrace the steps of this second betrayal, pleading once again for another reprieve. With no standard procedure for extending my kit, I've entered into yet another loop, a Sisyphean purgatory created just for survivors. A six-month cycle of requests and extensions, of needless flights and holding my breath, of organizing my life in an orbit around the day that I was raped. The justice system has sentenced me to live like this until I decide, forever cognizant of the day of my rape, marking heinous anniversaries again and again. The system will not let me ignore it; if I ever slip and forget to observe even one of my rape kit's god-awful birthdays or half-birthdays, I'll lose my chance at justice forever."