Reservation Under My Name

by Cheril N. Clarke

I've spent decades making other people’s dreams come true while burying my own. Now, the man who swears he loves me has crafted a perfect life—just not for me. And I'm finally waking up to realize what it's costing me.

I’m 44. Driven. Ambitious. And killing it at work. But…I’m utterly exhausted. Stepping away from my structured and successful life for my first solo trip rips open the truth.

A quiet unease. Questions I can’t shake.

For the first time, I’m not managing anyone else’s expectations but my own and I must confront a burning whose future have I been building all along?

If “Eat. Pray. Love.” and “Waiting to Exhale” came together for a book, this would be it.

258 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 27, 2025

About the author

Raised in Miami and now living in southern New Jersey, Cheril N. Clarke is the author of five novels, Foundations: A Novel of New Beginnings (2001), Different Trees from the Same Root (2003), Intimate Chaos (2005), Tainted Destiny (2006), and Losing Control (2009) and one play, Intimate Chaos. She has been featured in Curve Magazine, the nation's best selling lesbian magazine, The Princeton Packet, Philadelphia Gay News (PGN), About.com, Out IN Jersey, EURweb, Burlington County Times, Clik magazine, Phillyburbs.com, 247gay.com, Femmenoinre.net, as well as Crain's New York Business newspaper, among others. Her opinion columns have been featured by the National Black Justice Coalition. Clarke has also published poems, short stories and reviews of hip-hop spoken word theater in various literary magazines. Her editorial work has appeared in About Magazine, GayWired.com and on 247gay.com. Clarke was a keynote speaker at an African Asian Latina Lesbians United conference and has performed at events organized by African American Lesbians United for Societal Change.




She is currently working on her fifth novel, a political drama and the screenplay for "Intimate Chaos."

Reviews

[Lez_be_readin_ya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nyla's story is a wonderful read; it begins with a challenging start, but as the narrative progresses, Nyla beautifully embraces her true self, discovering her aspirations and the means to achieve them. She is a true inspiration, and it was a pleasure to read her story.

Initially, I wasn't sure if this book was for me, but I'm very glad I persevered, as it proved to be a wonderful read.

This book beautifully portrays a love story, but the main focus is on Nyla's personal growth and the challenges of reinventing oneself in her early forties, particularly the difficulties of starting over in a new country.

The book begins in Miami and then continues in Guatemala; Cheril's descriptions and scenes are beautifully crafted, truly immersing the reader in the story.

This book is skillfully written and keeps the reader engaged throughout. Cheril, as always, your book was a pleasure to read. I absolutely recommend this book and look forward to seeing what you bring us next.

Star rating. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice rating. 🔥

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this honest review voluntarily.

[Sherley's Reading Corner · Rating 4 out of 5]

*𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 4.25 ⭐
*𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥: 1.0 🌶️

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
🆀🆄🅸🅲🅺 🆃🅷🅾🆄🅶🅷🆃🆂

𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐲 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 was a was beautifully written and inspirational read.

In 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐲 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 we meet Nyla who, after years in her relationship with her partner Alex, who also happens to be her boss, and after accepting his proposal for marriage, finds that she is lost. At 44, the perfect life she thought she had, she has realized was not so perfect. She begins to question how did she lose herself? How did she allow Alex to take over and make decisions for her, not only personally, but even professionally? So, Nyla decides that she wants to find herself and live for herself. 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐲 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 is Nyla’s journey of growth, reinvention, and living one’s truth and working towards your dreams, no matter how crazy or scary it may seem at first.

I really enjoyed this read. In it we learn the importance of knowing when to let go of something that is toxic to your life, that is just not working and focusing on yourself and making self-care and growth a priority. I loved how Nyla was able to take a chance on herself and face her fears and go to a whole new country to make her dreams a reality. She was able to meet so many wonderful people, she discovered a new type of love that she never would have had she not gone on this journey (loved her and Mariana together) and she even gained a new furry companion (Luna was the cutest dog). In addition to the friendships and community featured in this story, I also loved Nyla’s family and how much, at the end of the day, they were there for her and very supportive of her dreams.

As a woman who is soon to be in her 40s, I reflected on my life and wondered have I done what Nyla did, have I taken a chance on myself and made sure that I enjoyed the one life that I am given? If nothing else, this read has taught me to make each day count, go after what you want, without any fear or hesitation, and that it’s never too late to make your dreams a reality.

Overall, this was a good read that I would recommend.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
🆆🅷🅰🆃 🆃🅾 🅴🆇🅿🅴🅲🆃
🩷40+ FMC
🩵Midlife Awakening
🩷Second Chances
🩵Women’s Fiction
🩷Found Family
🩵Low Spice
🩷WLW
🩵Tavel / Self Care

🅵🅰🆅🅾🆁🅸🆃🅴 🆀🆄🅾🆃🅴🆂/🆂🅰🆈🅸🅽🅶🆂
🩷 “I hadn’t mapped out the escape route, but I’d found freedom in the freefall.”
🩵 “Caring about you doesn’t mean staying, Alex. It doesn’t mean coming back.”
🩷 “Dreams change shape when you let go of other people’s expectations”
🩵 “Loving someone meant loving all of their pieces, even the broken ones. Especially the broken ones. But I’d learn the hard way that you can’t fix other people’s broken pieces. Not that I tried, but I’d learned to leave before [the] sharp edges carved me into someone I didn’t recognize.
🩷 “I was better. Stronger. More myself than I’d ever been.”

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

* 𝑶𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 & 𝑺𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝑳𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 5.0 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒆

[readandtellwithshantel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reservation Under My Name
Cheril N. Clarke

Every aspect of Nyla’s life appears to be in order, but appearances are deceiving. The facade that Alex hand-crafted for her was underwhelming. How could she enjoy the freedom and thrills of life when he dictated her desires? Everything had to change and fast.

Alex’s desire to control Nyla was his downfall. He mishandled her in every way. The deceit, financial manipulation, mental, emotional and physical abuse the list could go on, was too much. He tried his damnedest to break her. To make her feel inadequate and unworthy of anything good outside of his scope of desirability. But, he was sorely mistaken about his true role in her life. He was merely a blimp in Nyla’s story. Enough about Alex and any of his accomplices.(👀👀 If you know you know)

At 44 years old, Nyla is determined to forge a new path that isn’t contingent on anyone, other than herself. She learns to trust herself and to let life unfold organically. Even with respect to her immediate family, she creates loving boundaries. These boundaries were completely necessary for her preservation. She devoted much needed time and attention to her relationship with her sister. Kendra was a genuine sounding board for Nyla’s new endeavors.

🚨 Spoiler Alert 🚨

One scene that completely broke my heart happened when Alex popped up and had so many demands. How dare he tried to sully her safe space? What exactly did he think would come from infringing on her in that way? Welp, he definitely got dealt with accordingly 🤛🏾🤛🏾👊🏾👊🏾🤛🏾🤛🏾.

While in Guatemala, Nyla finds community and an environment that is conducive to the life she wants to live. She truly finds herself and people who love and cherish her company. The relationship that blossoms with Mariana is truly what Nyla needs. There isn’t too much preamble once the two establish their true feelings.

Lastly, Nyla is relatable because we never know when life will throw something at us unexpectedly, but we all know what it feels like to persevere through adversity.

Thank you for the ARC

Happy Release Day! Oh…and the visuals in your newsletter are so spot on.

#readandtellwithshantel #supportindieauthors #40plusFMC #midelifeawakening #secondchance #foundfamily #womensfiction

[La Toya Hankins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clark does an amazing job of capturing the journey of a woman who steps out on her own to live a path she chooses instead of what is expected. Her descriptions of the main character’s journey from a corporate Miami hotel culture to the Latin American hostel hideaway that embraces the Guatemalan lifestyle elevates the story. It was a pleasure to indulge in a story that didn’t shy away from the trauma of breaking free of a toxic and financially abusive relationship but handles the situation with a deft touch. Definitely a novel recommendation

[Heinerway · Rating 3 out of 5]

It has been wonderful to read all about Nyla's complicated journey to freedom. Maybe it took her a long time to realize how her fiancé was oppressing and suffocating her, but all's well that ends well—especially when it ends with her opening up to love with the woman who was waiting for her, in the right place and at the right time.

That said, couldn't something have happened to the ex-fiancé? I'm not saying he had to die (though I wouldn't have minded at all), but maybe break a leg, go bankrupt, or something.

[Brianna M · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was truly such a fun and transformative read and at the perfect time in my life. I truly connected with the main character and loved reading about her journey to finding herself and what makes her happy.

[Books & Locs · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a Arc read ! This book was pretty good , the story flowed very well and there is an unexpected twist ! I am loving the story!