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Highs in the Low Fifties*: How I Stumbled Through The Joys Of Single Living
A cross between Nora Ephron and David Sedaris, longtime NPR commentator Marion Winik has a uniquely hilarious and relatable way of looking at life. Her stories of being single in middle age, marked by stylish writing and stunning candor, left readers bent double with laughter when they appeared in her column, rated "Best of Baltimore" by Baltimore Magazine.Highs in the Low Fifties follows Winik's attempt to rebuild her world as a once-widowed, once-divorced single mom. With her signature optimism, resilience, and poor judgment, Winik dives into a series of ill-starred romantic experiences. Her clarity about her mistakes and ability to find humor in the darkest moments in love, and in all parts of life has won her a growing crowd of devoted followers . . . and a few voyeurs."
- GenresMemoirNonfictionHumor
224 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2005
12 people are currently reading
324 people want to read
About the author
Marion Winik
30 books92 followersLongtime All Things Considered commentator Marion Winik is the author of First Comes Love, The Glen Rock Book of the Dead and seven other books. The Baltimore Book of the Dead is forthcoming from Counterpoint this fall. Her award-winning column on BaltimoreFishbowl.com appears monthly, and her essays have been published in The New York Times Magazine, The Sun and elsewhere. She is the host of The Weekly Reader radio show and podcast and reviews books for Newsday, People, and Kirkus Review. She is a board member of the National Book Critics Circle and a professor in the MFA program at the University of Baltimore. More info at marionwinik.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
November 2, 2013
Marion Winik Has Kissed A Lot Of Frogs
Writer Marion Winik has ridiculously bad taste in men. She’s an intelligent woman and a terrific writer, a good mom with a good heart, and ALL of her romantic relationships are train wrecks.
Winik recounts her quest for love at age 50 in her new book, “Highs In The Low Fifties: How I Stumbled Through The Joys of Single Living,” and no matter how tumultuous or misguided your own love life has been, she’ll put you to shame.
The healthiest relationship she describes is with first husband, Tony, who, when they met, was a “penniless gay bartender who had recently lost his job as an ice-skating coach due to his drug problem.”
Winik fell hard for this guy. Why? “Having a beautiful gay man change his life to be with me was like getting the Nobel Prize for lovability,” she explains. Plus, the man could “cook, bartend, devise and execute wall treatments, garden, iron, arrange flowers, set a perfect table and professionally cut and color my hair.”
(Which almost makes me want to marry a gay man myself.)
They got hitched, had two sons, enjoyed some good years, and endured some bad ones, before Winik’s husband died of AIDS.
And, romantically, it’s all been downhill from there.
Winik, to be sure, brings her own challenges to the romantic table. She describes herself, in a self-deprecating moment, as “an alcoholic, manic-depressive slut.” She’s also an ex-junkie. And she smokes.
But she writes like an angel. With a wicked sense of humor.
Winik, who has published 9 books, makes a good living writing about her unconventional life. She writes for the New York Times, she’s a regular on Al Things Considered, she blogs for Baltimore Fishbowl.com, she’s a professor at the University of Baltimore’s MFA program, and she’s been on the “Today Show,” “Politically Incorrect “and “Oprah.”
Solid career success hasn’t stopped her from establishing a track record, in her personal life, of passing up great guys to throw herself at losers.
Some women enjoy being courted over a quiet, candle lit dinner. Winik goes for edger stuff. A typical seduction? “He led me to a floodlit, garbage-swept concrete parking lot surrounded by a chain-link fence…. with no further preliminaries, a furious make-out session was in progress.”
Winik, it turns out, is a woman in her 50s who dates like a hormone-drunk teenager. She may be looking for love. But what she finds, instead, are thrills. And when she finds them, she shares every juicy, peculiar, hilarious and humiliating detail with her readers.
I hate to see a smart woman make a foolish choice, yet I loved this book. Why? I’m a sucker for a good sentence, and Winik couldn’t pen a boring line if she tried. Her love life may be a mess but it’s also great material, and she makes the most of it.
She describes swapping spit with, among others, a construction worker who beds her so he can hit her up for cash, a young ex-student who already has an age appropriate girlfriend, her own second husband, years after their acrimonious divorce, and a dude whose personal ad claimed he’d only ever been with two women -- his ex wife and her best friend.
Winik thought he was joking. He wasn’t.
Ironically, while all this was going on, Winik was writing an advice column for a national magazine.
Fans of Winik’s earlier books know that she’s not just an engaging writer, but a good mom and a good friend. She deserves to find Mr. Right! But it’s clear to the reader of this new volume that the chances of that happening are slim. (One hint: the book is dedicated, not to a dude, but to that ever reliable bed partner, her miniature dachshund.) Still, you keeping hoping that this clever chick with the appalling blind spot when it comes to sussing out good guys, will somehow come to her senses and fall for a mensch.
Yes, there’s a touch of schanfreude in the pleasure you get from this book. (Not to mention a heap of comfort for those of us whose own romantic choices have been less than fabulous.) It’s fun to watch someone else screw up, as long as it’s played for laughs. (“I Love Lucy,” anyone?)
And if there’s one thing Winik excels at, it’s laughing at herself.
She isn’t afraid to play the fool. And she shares everything, from her Match.com profile (“Sassy, sensual and smart”) to the absolute wrong way to seduce a gay guy (“I sexted him a picture of me lying on the couch in my bikini underpants.”)
We’ve got front row seats to even the most embarrassing encounter. But it’s Winik herself, as the writer who chronicles these events, who has the last laugh. Prior to publication, she may let her bad dates fact-check “their” chapters, and she’s changed a few names, but she’s retained the power to present her life as she sees fit.
The key to Winik’s continued success is that she’s, ultimately, so likeable. You wince at her mistakes and despair at her dating decisions, but you can’t help rooting for her, despite the fact that she always leads with her libido and seems never to have met a Stupid Choice she didn’t want to make out with in a midnight parking lot.
But then, she’s not really looking for Mr. Right. What she really wants is a dude whose kisses will make her forget all reason.
And when she finds him, thankfully, we can always rely on her to tell us all about it.
(This review first appeared in Womens Voices For Change.)
Writer Marion Winik has ridiculously bad taste in men. She’s an intelligent woman and a terrific writer, a good mom with a good heart, and ALL of her romantic relationships are train wrecks.
Winik recounts her quest for love at age 50 in her new book, “Highs In The Low Fifties: How I Stumbled Through The Joys of Single Living,” and no matter how tumultuous or misguided your own love life has been, she’ll put you to shame.
The healthiest relationship she describes is with first husband, Tony, who, when they met, was a “penniless gay bartender who had recently lost his job as an ice-skating coach due to his drug problem.”
Winik fell hard for this guy. Why? “Having a beautiful gay man change his life to be with me was like getting the Nobel Prize for lovability,” she explains. Plus, the man could “cook, bartend, devise and execute wall treatments, garden, iron, arrange flowers, set a perfect table and professionally cut and color my hair.”
(Which almost makes me want to marry a gay man myself.)
They got hitched, had two sons, enjoyed some good years, and endured some bad ones, before Winik’s husband died of AIDS.
And, romantically, it’s all been downhill from there.
Winik, to be sure, brings her own challenges to the romantic table. She describes herself, in a self-deprecating moment, as “an alcoholic, manic-depressive slut.” She’s also an ex-junkie. And she smokes.
But she writes like an angel. With a wicked sense of humor.
Winik, who has published 9 books, makes a good living writing about her unconventional life. She writes for the New York Times, she’s a regular on Al Things Considered, she blogs for Baltimore Fishbowl.com, she’s a professor at the University of Baltimore’s MFA program, and she’s been on the “Today Show,” “Politically Incorrect “and “Oprah.”
Solid career success hasn’t stopped her from establishing a track record, in her personal life, of passing up great guys to throw herself at losers.
Some women enjoy being courted over a quiet, candle lit dinner. Winik goes for edger stuff. A typical seduction? “He led me to a floodlit, garbage-swept concrete parking lot surrounded by a chain-link fence…. with no further preliminaries, a furious make-out session was in progress.”
Winik, it turns out, is a woman in her 50s who dates like a hormone-drunk teenager. She may be looking for love. But what she finds, instead, are thrills. And when she finds them, she shares every juicy, peculiar, hilarious and humiliating detail with her readers.
I hate to see a smart woman make a foolish choice, yet I loved this book. Why? I’m a sucker for a good sentence, and Winik couldn’t pen a boring line if she tried. Her love life may be a mess but it’s also great material, and she makes the most of it.
She describes swapping spit with, among others, a construction worker who beds her so he can hit her up for cash, a young ex-student who already has an age appropriate girlfriend, her own second husband, years after their acrimonious divorce, and a dude whose personal ad claimed he’d only ever been with two women -- his ex wife and her best friend.
Winik thought he was joking. He wasn’t.
Ironically, while all this was going on, Winik was writing an advice column for a national magazine.
Fans of Winik’s earlier books know that she’s not just an engaging writer, but a good mom and a good friend. She deserves to find Mr. Right! But it’s clear to the reader of this new volume that the chances of that happening are slim. (One hint: the book is dedicated, not to a dude, but to that ever reliable bed partner, her miniature dachshund.) Still, you keeping hoping that this clever chick with the appalling blind spot when it comes to sussing out good guys, will somehow come to her senses and fall for a mensch.
Yes, there’s a touch of schanfreude in the pleasure you get from this book. (Not to mention a heap of comfort for those of us whose own romantic choices have been less than fabulous.) It’s fun to watch someone else screw up, as long as it’s played for laughs. (“I Love Lucy,” anyone?)
And if there’s one thing Winik excels at, it’s laughing at herself.
She isn’t afraid to play the fool. And she shares everything, from her Match.com profile (“Sassy, sensual and smart”) to the absolute wrong way to seduce a gay guy (“I sexted him a picture of me lying on the couch in my bikini underpants.”)
We’ve got front row seats to even the most embarrassing encounter. But it’s Winik herself, as the writer who chronicles these events, who has the last laugh. Prior to publication, she may let her bad dates fact-check “their” chapters, and she’s changed a few names, but she’s retained the power to present her life as she sees fit.
The key to Winik’s continued success is that she’s, ultimately, so likeable. You wince at her mistakes and despair at her dating decisions, but you can’t help rooting for her, despite the fact that she always leads with her libido and seems never to have met a Stupid Choice she didn’t want to make out with in a midnight parking lot.
But then, she’s not really looking for Mr. Right. What she really wants is a dude whose kisses will make her forget all reason.
And when she finds him, thankfully, we can always rely on her to tell us all about it.
(This review first appeared in Womens Voices For Change.)
January 21, 2014
Having been separated after 23 years of marriage and since single for 10 years, I expected to identify with this writer but NO!! In fact I want to scream at her to "wake up & get a life." What I took months to learn, she still hasn't learned! If you go out looking for a male to bed, you will only attract losers. You will attract a life of frustration, degradation, low self esteem and helplessness. Instead hopefully you might YET learn the value of WORKING at building relationships, making the most of your singleness, finding huge satisfaction in helping others, giving TIME to family & friends and appreciating being in charge of what you do and when. With this kind of focus, you will become independent,resilient,friendly,useful and attractive. I won't go on...
I gave her 2 stars for humour & occasional glimmers of insight.
I only hope if she gets to write a second, that it will be totally different but I would take a lot of persuading to read it, but people do change....
I gave her 2 stars for humour & occasional glimmers of insight.
I only hope if she gets to write a second, that it will be totally different but I would take a lot of persuading to read it, but people do change....
May 13, 2014
I used to listen to Winik's essays on NPR when she lived in Austin and was married to a gay with whom she had two sons. He died, she left NPR, and I wondered what happened to her. I stumbled on this book and found out she had moved back East and had gotten married. This marriage lasted about 10 years, resulted in a daughter, and this memoir was written about her post-divorce life. I kept thinking she was the most sex-obsessed person I had ever come across. Then I remembered how you think and act when you're a newly divorced single woman who wonders if anyone will ever look at you again and thought she wasn't so bad after all. The book is funny and she did calm down after some misadventures.
August 1, 2013
This is a mildly amusing tale of a woman who has a teenager's libido combined with the responsibilities of a 50-year-old. I didn't find the book laugh-out-loud funny. In fact, most of the time I just shook my head at her juvenile antics. Marion Winik is looking for love in all the wrong places, as the song goes. Maybe she should start with herself.
February 10, 2014
Marion Winik shares the indignities of re-entering the dating pool that anyone who has been there can relate too. Funny, poignant and brutally honest.
April 10, 2014
Gosh, I found this book through some recommendation - I don't remember who or where. I started reading it and thought "I could never get away with this". And I am sure I wouldn't want to try.
Reading the book was like watching a train wreck - I just had to see what happened. Her dates, her attempts at finding some kind of "Mr. Right" or "Mr. Good Enough for Right Now" just gave me the creeps. Winik's drug use/abuse and search for the perfect sex partner are powdered with good luck dust. But her writing style kept me hooked.
Wow. Some people come out of train wrecks without a scratch. Winik shares her scratches, dents, and bruises - and the train continues on. Each segment of her book is a short essay; each essay caught me with hope that something good would happen. Each essay left another crash in its wake.
I will take a very large step back from this book and think "I would never try..." Reading someone's stories who survives her own crashes over and over again - what was it that hooked me from the start? I am not sure I would recommend this book anyone who didn't already accept that train wrecks happen. And sometimes you watch.
Reading the book was like watching a train wreck - I just had to see what happened. Her dates, her attempts at finding some kind of "Mr. Right" or "Mr. Good Enough for Right Now" just gave me the creeps. Winik's drug use/abuse and search for the perfect sex partner are powdered with good luck dust. But her writing style kept me hooked.
Wow. Some people come out of train wrecks without a scratch. Winik shares her scratches, dents, and bruises - and the train continues on. Each segment of her book is a short essay; each essay caught me with hope that something good would happen. Each essay left another crash in its wake.
I will take a very large step back from this book and think "I would never try..." Reading someone's stories who survives her own crashes over and over again - what was it that hooked me from the start? I am not sure I would recommend this book anyone who didn't already accept that train wrecks happen. And sometimes you watch.
July 8, 2013
If you are a lover of memoirs as I am, you will love reading Marion Winik. Marion has been leading a life filled with adventure and in her latest book, she takes her readers along for the ride as she faces the triumphs and challenges of dating in her 50's. I laughed out loud, I gasped, I re-read passages because they were so poetic. Marion doesn't waste a single word. I don't think I've ever read a writer quite like Marion in that regard. Her chapters are well-paced and so dynamic; you will feel you are a fly on the wall on one of her dates. If you like David Sedaris' writing, my guess is that you will enjoy reading Winik. I recommend this book, especially to women — but I dare say I feel my dating life was pretty darn dull after reading this!
September 9, 2013
I'm one of Marion Winik's biggest fans, and her experiences with online and real life dating herein are similarly awful as some of mine. I had already read most of these essays on Baltimore Fishbowl, but enjoyed experiencing them again. The writing is smart, descriptive, and efficient. Even though I haven't done the online thing in years, I enjoyed knowing that it wasn't just me whose profile attracted miscellaneous - er, for lack of a better word I'll call them "unsuitables." Some of the descriptions this author writes of herself aggressively pursuing various men made me cringe a little and think, "I may have had some bad experiences but at least I've kept my dignity and not thrown myself at anyone." All in all a good read.
June 9, 2013
This book is HILARIOUS! Marion Winik is so funny and odd, and she "outs' herself in the most charming, charismatic way. It is hard not to fall in love with Marion as she stumbles through the most awful dates, while raising kids and dealing with a chronic illness. This book is for anyone who has ever dated, anyone who has ever had their heart broken, anyone who's ever fallen in love, anyone who has kids, and anyone dealing with an illness. Really, if you're human, you'll love this book!
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November 8, 2013Hey, Everyone! Please check out my latest interview with author Marion Winik as we discuss the perils of dating in your early 50's and her latest novel, Highs in The Low Fifties: How I Stumbled Through the Joys of Single Living (Globe Pequot Press, 2013). Read the interview and an excerpt from the book on my TTQ Blog now. http://thetorontoquarterly.blogspot.c...
July 23, 2016
First half showed promise - moderately funny; with details of various & different types occupying the on-line dating scene being very instructional (author does the stumbling, saving me the slightest interest in stumbling on in her tracks). But it all went on far too long. Not to mention the hubris of this woman! If most American females are anything like her it's a wonder there is any real happiness in that country.
August 16, 2013
Entertaining look at dating over 50. Not really worth reading, but it is short enough to finish in a day.
She's a little funny, a little slutty, and doesn't appear to have learned much over her 50 years. And if her experiences are representative of what dating over 50 is like... we should all learn to have more compassion for those 50+ singles in our lives.
She's a little funny, a little slutty, and doesn't appear to have learned much over her 50 years. And if her experiences are representative of what dating over 50 is like... we should all learn to have more compassion for those 50+ singles in our lives.
September 15, 2013
Perfect for the single boomer woman who wants a good escape by reading someone else's turbulent mostly hysterical escapades in love. Read this on the beach out loud at Fire Island with my best friend this summer and couldn't imagine a better book; the way Marion Wink writes, it felt like she was on a towel next to us girls telling us her latest adventure.
March 26, 2013
*I won this book through Goodreads' First Reads.
I thought this book would be "hilarious" as advertised, but it wasn't as good as I anticipated. The narration "stumbled" around the plot without much direction and left me feeling disappointed and a little confused.
I thought this book would be "hilarious" as advertised, but it wasn't as good as I anticipated. The narration "stumbled" around the plot without much direction and left me feeling disappointed and a little confused.
September 29, 2013
I still can't believe this is a true story. It is a quick read and for a sliver of a moment you feel bad for the author, but for the most part you don't. She made very interesting choices in her life.
February 2, 2014
I couldn't stop reading this.
I chose this book because it was a special title from Amazon. When I started reading it, I was hooked. Although my experiences differ, I could completely identify with this author. She says exactly what you are thinking.
I chose this book because it was a special title from Amazon. When I started reading it, I was hooked. Although my experiences differ, I could completely identify with this author. She says exactly what you are thinking.
June 28, 2014
I confess I can't relate to on line dating or even dating at this season of my life, but I honestly thought Ms. Winik came off as completely neurotic. Someone else likened it to watching a bad train wreck and I have to agree.
March 30, 2014
Now I know what not to do. Well, actually, I already knew what not to do.
Humorous read, but other than being an online dating failure, I couldn't really relate.
Humorous read, but other than being an online dating failure, I couldn't really relate.
March 9, 2013
I received this book as a First Read through Goodreads.
March 8, 2013
This book was a quick, entertaining read. The author certainly has a lot of dating stories to tell. Reading this novel made me feel very grateful to be in my current relationship!
March 18, 2013
I won this book as a first read. Did not care for it. Did not find it funny as advertised.
June 21, 2013
This book had me laughing out loud! Now I'm going to have to read some of Marion Winik's other books...
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August 2, 2013Perfect summer reading.
August 7, 2013
I love Marion Winik's joyous, funny accounts of being a total mess. When I start to take life too seriously, she's a good antidote.
November 6, 2013
Sex in the City meets Baltimore and menopause. Winik writes a charming, hilarious set of vignettes about dating in the 50s, bringing to mind Nora Ephron as she does.
December 26, 2013
Very funny book and definitely a great read for all women!
January 25, 2014
Maybe having lived through my own Match.Com years caused me to not find her experiences so humorous. More introspection would have made it more interesting to me.
March 5, 2014
Funny and poignant
November 6, 2014
Easy to read and easy to put down. I felt it was amusing at times but not nearly as funny as Nora Ephron or David Sedaris. My reaction to it is lukewarm. Meh.
May 19, 2015
It was witty and well written, but left me dangling at the end. I also wanted to know what else was going on in her life besides dating the slackers ( even though the stories were hilarious).
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews