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For When Everything Is Burning
This one is a little different.
If you feel like the world forgot to prepare a spot for you, this is for you.
If you feel like you were born into the wrong timeline, the wrong culture, or on the wrong planet, this is for you.
If you’ve ever found yourself questioning your humanity and wondering if you are “something else”, this is for you.
If you feel like your life has been an endless quest for something you haven’t found, this is for you.
If you feel more aware of the pain, the suffering, the darkness, and the brokenness of the world, this is for you.
If you relate to these words, please know that I see you. That you aren’t anywhere near as alone as you feel. That there are others like you. Your pain is real and valid, even if nobody around you understands it.
You don’t have to hide anymore. You don’t have to keep wearing that brave face for everyone else’s benefit, even when it feels like you’re drowning inside. You can face the darkness head-on, and I can teach you how.
First, we have to identify the lies the world tells you and how to stop listening to them. There are six of them in particular that we hear over and over
Everything is your fault You can’t change anything You're missing something What feels true is true You're not trying hard enough You aren't ready Most people believe and align with these lies. You don't have to. If you learn how to recognize them and speak truth to them over and over again, they start to quiet down. This lets you be you again, instead of what the world tries to make you into.
If you feel like the world forgot to prepare a spot for you, this is for you.
If you feel like you were born into the wrong timeline, the wrong culture, or on the wrong planet, this is for you.
If you’ve ever found yourself questioning your humanity and wondering if you are “something else”, this is for you.
If you feel like your life has been an endless quest for something you haven’t found, this is for you.
If you feel more aware of the pain, the suffering, the darkness, and the brokenness of the world, this is for you.
If you relate to these words, please know that I see you. That you aren’t anywhere near as alone as you feel. That there are others like you. Your pain is real and valid, even if nobody around you understands it.
You don’t have to hide anymore. You don’t have to keep wearing that brave face for everyone else’s benefit, even when it feels like you’re drowning inside. You can face the darkness head-on, and I can teach you how.
First, we have to identify the lies the world tells you and how to stop listening to them. There are six of them in particular that we hear over and over
Everything is your fault You can’t change anything You're missing something What feels true is true You're not trying hard enough You aren't ready Most people believe and align with these lies. You don't have to. If you learn how to recognize them and speak truth to them over and over again, they start to quiet down. This lets you be you again, instead of what the world tries to make you into.
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Published November 12, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
June 10, 2021
WOW! This is a wonderful book! Very well-written and I found myself reading and saying "YES! YES!" to so many important truths and realizations that I've felt at one point or another, but just couldn't find the words. They’re here, laid out for us in this book! I enjoyed reading about the connections our mind has to our bodies, and how we can have more control over some of our systems than we think. The thoughts and ideas are described so clearly and matter-of-fact and I enjoyed the logical explanations and examples for self-improvement, and self-acceptance. It’s comforting to know that several of my thoughts and theories align with this book. We aren’t so alone after all! Reading this book was very reassuring and I recommend it to anyone who has either been through hard times, hard thoughts, or just wants to explore deeper into themselves.
August 27, 2021
The best self help book I've ever read.....so easy to read.
This book hooked me at the beginning!
If you want to have the tools to learn to love yourself, this is the book to read. I personally know of the author and I know this book was written from his heart. I felt a realise of pain after reading it and now know that I have a roadmap to loving myself first. Definitely would recommend this for anyone who feels lost.
This book hooked me at the beginning!
If you want to have the tools to learn to love yourself, this is the book to read. I personally know of the author and I know this book was written from his heart. I felt a realise of pain after reading it and now know that I have a roadmap to loving myself first. Definitely would recommend this for anyone who feels lost.
February 23, 2024
2nd Read & Review: February 2024
I've read this twice in an uncharacteristically short time. It's easily one of my favorite books to have ever read across genres. Lifelong/lifetime resource, this one.
1st read and review: 2023
I cried after reading this. I've read a lot of books in my life. This is easily one of the most salient & transformative. As a psychotherapist and as someone who struggles with their mental health, I don't say this lightly.
I felt a kinship with Scott and many of his experiences were painfully relatable. The two things I found the most powerful about this book were: commiseration and hope. No boot-strapping, no toxic positivity, no BS. Just realness, understanding and inspiration. This lit a fire under me to go after the life I want, to lean into my autonomy and work tirelessly on myself.
I plan to read this over and over again in the course of my life.
I've read this twice in an uncharacteristically short time. It's easily one of my favorite books to have ever read across genres. Lifelong/lifetime resource, this one.
1st read and review: 2023
I cried after reading this. I've read a lot of books in my life. This is easily one of the most salient & transformative. As a psychotherapist and as someone who struggles with their mental health, I don't say this lightly.
I felt a kinship with Scott and many of his experiences were painfully relatable. The two things I found the most powerful about this book were: commiseration and hope. No boot-strapping, no toxic positivity, no BS. Just realness, understanding and inspiration. This lit a fire under me to go after the life I want, to lean into my autonomy and work tirelessly on myself.
I plan to read this over and over again in the course of my life.
October 23, 2023
Excellent book. I can see it when the writer says they initially started the book as a generic self help book, but started over as something different.
I can see the effort they put into making the book a little different, and it obviously worked since it reached me.
I like him bcz he acknowledges that the current state of professional mental health isn’t good, and they don’t have the answers. I like the humility and the empathy he has for those that couldn’t find solace from therapy — or even got hurt.
——
What I don’t like about the book is that it goes by the “the world is big and evil, and I am small and powerless and at the mercy of big systems” worldview. (Which is essentially communism but this is for another post).
The idea that a human being is at the mercy of their environment and that all evil comes from the system, not the individual.
I think this development is natural, since it’s what is taught at psychology grad school, and it’s kind of impossible to doubt it without personally venturing into philosophy. Which nobody probably should do anyways bcz it can risk them getting kicked out of grad school due to thought crime.
It has empathy in the sense that it acknowledges the injustices of the world and the cracks in the system. The story of the little girl who misses her lunch but nobody notices is a good example.
It’s also empathic in that it addresses that a lot of emotional trauma comes from things that are out of our personal control like the parents, schools and social norms.
But this worldview misses the idea that yes, some aspects of life are controllable, and that yes we are responsible for some of it. Not all of it (this is a dysfunctional belief), but some.
And no matter how horrible our childhoods, we are still the ones that are responsible for seeking therapy and curing ourselves. This idea of responsibility is often confused with the concept of blame.
The main problem with the “the world is big and evil and I am at the mercy of the systems” worldview is that, basically, you cannot do anything. You are powerless. So of course the writer will then resort to the “nobody can experience the world and we are all just interpreting external stimuli and hallucinating in our heads” argument. This is where I felt the limitations of this book and felt let down.
And while yes we don’t have control over our temperament or brain circuits, we can do things like try to make small, incremental changes.
Which is actually what this writer promotes, even though their philosophy doesn’t align with this. So this tells me this therapist isn’t much of a philosopher (which is ok — they don’t claim to be one), and is inconsistent in their beliefs and teachings (which is ok — I acknowledge that not everybody needs perfect existential logical consistency. I may not want him to be my therapist, but there exist many other people who do, and variety is good).
And at the same time, to address my own emotions, this adds another drop to the big pool of dissapointment I have towards the field of psychology and people in general. And I am justified in feeling this way, and I don’t need to bend or hide these thoughts in an attempt to appease the writer or other ppl reading this review.
So I think three stars is a fair review.
I would give two to a generic, chat GPT-like self help book. One to trash.
Five I would give to something that addressed psychology at the philosophical level that I need. Four if it attempted it but lite.
Three to a book that doesn’t, but is more original than a chat GPT response. So three it is.
I can see the effort they put into making the book a little different, and it obviously worked since it reached me.
I like him bcz he acknowledges that the current state of professional mental health isn’t good, and they don’t have the answers. I like the humility and the empathy he has for those that couldn’t find solace from therapy — or even got hurt.
——
What I don’t like about the book is that it goes by the “the world is big and evil, and I am small and powerless and at the mercy of big systems” worldview. (Which is essentially communism but this is for another post).
The idea that a human being is at the mercy of their environment and that all evil comes from the system, not the individual.
I think this development is natural, since it’s what is taught at psychology grad school, and it’s kind of impossible to doubt it without personally venturing into philosophy. Which nobody probably should do anyways bcz it can risk them getting kicked out of grad school due to thought crime.
It has empathy in the sense that it acknowledges the injustices of the world and the cracks in the system. The story of the little girl who misses her lunch but nobody notices is a good example.
It’s also empathic in that it addresses that a lot of emotional trauma comes from things that are out of our personal control like the parents, schools and social norms.
But this worldview misses the idea that yes, some aspects of life are controllable, and that yes we are responsible for some of it. Not all of it (this is a dysfunctional belief), but some.
And no matter how horrible our childhoods, we are still the ones that are responsible for seeking therapy and curing ourselves. This idea of responsibility is often confused with the concept of blame.
The main problem with the “the world is big and evil and I am at the mercy of the systems” worldview is that, basically, you cannot do anything. You are powerless. So of course the writer will then resort to the “nobody can experience the world and we are all just interpreting external stimuli and hallucinating in our heads” argument. This is where I felt the limitations of this book and felt let down.
And while yes we don’t have control over our temperament or brain circuits, we can do things like try to make small, incremental changes.
Which is actually what this writer promotes, even though their philosophy doesn’t align with this. So this tells me this therapist isn’t much of a philosopher (which is ok — they don’t claim to be one), and is inconsistent in their beliefs and teachings (which is ok — I acknowledge that not everybody needs perfect existential logical consistency. I may not want him to be my therapist, but there exist many other people who do, and variety is good).
And at the same time, to address my own emotions, this adds another drop to the big pool of dissapointment I have towards the field of psychology and people in general. And I am justified in feeling this way, and I don’t need to bend or hide these thoughts in an attempt to appease the writer or other ppl reading this review.
So I think three stars is a fair review.
I would give two to a generic, chat GPT-like self help book. One to trash.
Five I would give to something that addressed psychology at the philosophical level that I need. Four if it attempted it but lite.
Three to a book that doesn’t, but is more original than a chat GPT response. So three it is.
December 22, 2021
I love this reading so much! I found this book by accident on Amazon, and I read what the book was about, just nodding with what he said about who this book was made for. I identified with with and started reading on Kindle. I’ve finished today and I’m, personally, very in doubt about career paths and this year I’ve gone through a very dark time, so this book helped me a lot in finding myself, what to do next and understand certain things about me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more seen and represented than in this book. The good thing is that he is funny and easygoing, and he surprised me lots when I found out I could have more control over my life than I thought. What I really enjoy about the book is the poems contained in it, they are very good and I could feel each emotion that he conveyed. It looked like Scott had been observing me for the past few years and wrote a book about it. Such a great self-help book, if not the best, one of thereof. Recommend it strongly, mainly for the ones who feels lost and forgotten by the world, I know I’m not alone on this (and I’m so glad I’m not the only - I don’t wish this for anybody though, it’s awful). Thanks, Scott Eilers!
December 27, 2021
Wonderfully unique
This was a most unusual book, but I truly enjoyed the layout and flow of it. I didn't feel like it was a struggle to read like most self-help books, but instead, I was so intrigued by each chapter that I wanted to keep going. It felt like the author was speaking to me, and it was such simple and straightforward advice that just felt right. I highly recommend this read.
This was a most unusual book, but I truly enjoyed the layout and flow of it. I didn't feel like it was a struggle to read like most self-help books, but instead, I was so intrigued by each chapter that I wanted to keep going. It felt like the author was speaking to me, and it was such simple and straightforward advice that just felt right. I highly recommend this read.
Read
January 7, 2024I've never felt so seen
This book may save my life. Every word, every page, every idea is something that resonates with me. Coming out of the worst two-year period in my almost half of a century, this book (which I wasn't expecting and I have no idea why it was in my recommended list) literally spoke my experience into existence on the pages. There is hope. There is a future. Thank you, Scott.
This book may save my life. Every word, every page, every idea is something that resonates with me. Coming out of the worst two-year period in my almost half of a century, this book (which I wasn't expecting and I have no idea why it was in my recommended list) literally spoke my experience into existence on the pages. There is hope. There is a future. Thank you, Scott.
January 1, 2025
One of the most practical, helpful books on keeping mentally well. Written by an author who clearly has personal experience combined with his professional education and experience as a therapist.
Well written, but it still needed an editor, and I can’t quite understand why he didn’t pay someone—an English major, a student, someone on Fiver— to proofread the book. Arrogance? Ignorance? Poor judgment? While his own writing and English grammar and punctuation skills are above average when it comes to books that have not been professionally edited, the book still contains umpteen things that made me wince while reading. For example, getting lying mixed up with laying, misusing punctuation like colons and semicolons, and using phrases like “try and” rather than “try to.”
Still, that poor decision aside, this is a book that is so helpful that I have it filled with highlighted gems and expect to be rereading it on a regular basis.
Well written, but it still needed an editor, and I can’t quite understand why he didn’t pay someone—an English major, a student, someone on Fiver— to proofread the book. Arrogance? Ignorance? Poor judgment? While his own writing and English grammar and punctuation skills are above average when it comes to books that have not been professionally edited, the book still contains umpteen things that made me wince while reading. For example, getting lying mixed up with laying, misusing punctuation like colons and semicolons, and using phrases like “try and” rather than “try to.”
Still, that poor decision aside, this is a book that is so helpful that I have it filled with highlighted gems and expect to be rereading it on a regular basis.
June 24, 2024
What I didn't know I needed
Scott's words echoed in the deepest chambers of my soul. I laughed, I sobbed, I pondered, I walked away, I came back. I'm not sure if that was his intent, but that was my process. The poetry in between manageable chapters hit home the most. Also, dont confuse the shortness of chapters with lack of content. They will blast you out of your seat - mental cartwheels combined with practical advice. Even my therapist said, "Who IS this guy?" Thank you, Scott, for sharing a piece of yourself (taking your own advice - RESPECT.)
Scott's words echoed in the deepest chambers of my soul. I laughed, I sobbed, I pondered, I walked away, I came back. I'm not sure if that was his intent, but that was my process. The poetry in between manageable chapters hit home the most. Also, dont confuse the shortness of chapters with lack of content. They will blast you out of your seat - mental cartwheels combined with practical advice. Even my therapist said, "Who IS this guy?" Thank you, Scott, for sharing a piece of yourself (taking your own advice - RESPECT.)
April 5, 2024
I discovered Scott on YouTube and was drawn to his unique approach to mental health through his content. I was thrilled to learn that he had authored a book. However, my experience with it so far has been disappointing.
I'm approximately 30% into the book, and although there are some nuggets of truth, I'm not fond of its writing style. While I appreciate the author's intent to provide comfort and validation to those struggling with mental health issues, I feel that the book portrays individuals as victims of circumstances without addressing personal responsibility adequately. Both aspects are crucial, but the book seems to focus solely on victimisation.
The introduction, which took up a quarter of the book, outlined what the book aims to offer. However, I believe it was overly long and resembled more of a lengthy letter to struggling readers rather than a concise introduction.
At this point, I'm unsure if I'll continue reading. If I do, I'll update this review.
I'm approximately 30% into the book, and although there are some nuggets of truth, I'm not fond of its writing style. While I appreciate the author's intent to provide comfort and validation to those struggling with mental health issues, I feel that the book portrays individuals as victims of circumstances without addressing personal responsibility adequately. Both aspects are crucial, but the book seems to focus solely on victimisation.
The introduction, which took up a quarter of the book, outlined what the book aims to offer. However, I believe it was overly long and resembled more of a lengthy letter to struggling readers rather than a concise introduction.
At this point, I'm unsure if I'll continue reading. If I do, I'll update this review.
May 8, 2024
I liked this book a lot. It has some awesome tips and tricks that I will definitely be coming back to re-read and familiarise myself with again. I watch Dr Scott on YouTube and that’s how I discovered this book; I would say to anyone who needs an easy to read self help book to give this one a try as it has a lot of useful information in it. The brain works in weird and wonderful ways and I hope to feel like my true self again soon.
October 29, 2023
For When Everything Is Burning proffers a warm, hospitable home to people who are grappling with their mental health. From a fellow kindred spirit to another, Eilers makes one feel seen, understood and acknowledged through sheer vulnerability and courage whilst offering pragmatic solutions from a therapeutic perspective.
April 17, 2024
Great Read
I’ve been reading self help books for decades but This book really resonated with me, even to the point of tears. I accidentally found Dr Scott on you tube and found him to be very helpful, so I decided to give his book a try. I’m glad I did. It’s full of valuable information.
I’ve been reading self help books for decades but This book really resonated with me, even to the point of tears. I accidentally found Dr Scott on you tube and found him to be very helpful, so I decided to give his book a try. I’m glad I did. It’s full of valuable information.
January 30, 2025
Written with a lot of compassion, understanding and emotion. I appreciated that it doesn't just offer all the usual advice you find almost anywhere else. On the other hand, when I got to the end I didn't feel like it left me with that much. As other reviewers mentioned, it could also have done with a bit of editing, but the occasional slip was easy enough to ignore.
May 25, 2024
Awesome book, with enormously helpful advice. You feel as if Eilers is your personal therapist with very sensitive and caring words we all need to hear when we are going through rough spots. One I will refer back to for years to come.
August 20, 2024
This is an honest to decent read, solid on its guidance, steeped in experience and qualification. It offers a very easy read, plain language without being mired in complexity or with complicated terminology. Practical, a great ‘go to and remember’ kind of book. It’s worth several re-reads!
September 17, 2025
this book is amazing!
The best book I’ve read about mental health because it’s real. Dr. Scott writes in a way that is raw and vulnerable. He talks about strategies and tips in a way that isn’t overwhelming and is easy to follow. I’m glad I read this book!
The best book I’ve read about mental health because it’s real. Dr. Scott writes in a way that is raw and vulnerable. He talks about strategies and tips in a way that isn’t overwhelming and is easy to follow. I’m glad I read this book!
February 13, 2024
This is the first self help book i’ve read and I really enjoyed it. It has many helpful tips and definitely gave me new perspectives on things.
August 15, 2024
This guy gets it
November 15, 2024
If you struggle with emotional deprivation and burnout, or wondering why you have no motivation to do anything, check out this book.
May 9, 2024
I wanted to wait 24 hours after reading to fully process this book. I found Scott on YouTube after I started reading and I like his short takes on dealing with self-esteem issues and depression. As a long time diagnosed depressive, I appreciate books like this from professionals who have witnessed their colleagues fail to help their clients.
That being said, I was into the theme of the book until about 50% through. Scott gives great advice for reshaping your view of everyday life, particularly when you feel that others are more successful and appear happier than you. This is something I still struggle with but I tell myself that I'm going at my own pace, and I'm much happier for it. He even points out to feel joy for others' triumphs because it will make you feel better about your situation.
Then the last 50% of the book...well, I couldn't help but get the sense that Scott was telling us we're victims and he pushed this when he suggested to imagine yourself in an impenetrable bubble that blocks out everyone's negativity and comments. I personally think this is a harmful mentality. I see what he was trying to convey, though. Perhaps a shield would have been a better analogy than locking yourself in a bubble. If you don't experience life's hardships, you don't truly learn anything about yourself, and this part slightly overshadows his advice from the first 50% of the book.
It took me a while to finish this short book because reading some of it brought back a lot of depressing feelings, which I can thankfully work through because I was fortunate enough to have a great therapist who gave me the tools to help me get out of bed and face the day.
I think this book will resonate with those who feel lost and behind in life, so if that's you then I recommend this book. I would suggest though to not take everything within as sage advice. Scott shows that he has experience professionally and personally when it comes to clinical depression and anxiety, but I ask that you read this carefully and maybe after reading it you can find books similar to Scott's for further advice. Brene Brown's Braving the Wilderness is a good follow-up and my personal favorite.
That's my long two cents. I gave it 3 stars because it does give good advice even if it does tend to imply victimhood to the reader.
That being said, I was into the theme of the book until about 50% through. Scott gives great advice for reshaping your view of everyday life, particularly when you feel that others are more successful and appear happier than you. This is something I still struggle with but I tell myself that I'm going at my own pace, and I'm much happier for it. He even points out to feel joy for others' triumphs because it will make you feel better about your situation.
Then the last 50% of the book...well, I couldn't help but get the sense that Scott was telling us we're victims and he pushed this when he suggested to imagine yourself in an impenetrable bubble that blocks out everyone's negativity and comments. I personally think this is a harmful mentality. I see what he was trying to convey, though. Perhaps a shield would have been a better analogy than locking yourself in a bubble. If you don't experience life's hardships, you don't truly learn anything about yourself, and this part slightly overshadows his advice from the first 50% of the book.
It took me a while to finish this short book because reading some of it brought back a lot of depressing feelings, which I can thankfully work through because I was fortunate enough to have a great therapist who gave me the tools to help me get out of bed and face the day.
I think this book will resonate with those who feel lost and behind in life, so if that's you then I recommend this book. I would suggest though to not take everything within as sage advice. Scott shows that he has experience professionally and personally when it comes to clinical depression and anxiety, but I ask that you read this carefully and maybe after reading it you can find books similar to Scott's for further advice. Brene Brown's Braving the Wilderness is a good follow-up and my personal favorite.
That's my long two cents. I gave it 3 stars because it does give good advice even if it does tend to imply victimhood to the reader.
April 10, 2024
Absolutely brilliant
I loved the way it was written - all from his own experience and knowledge, so much I could relate to, so many situations and reasons for feeling depressed, so much understanding what it's like and so much that helped me understand how I've got so depressed and how I can get out of it.
I've just finished reading for the second time and I am gonna read it again. It helps me think differently and like myself more. So glad I found it and would recommend to anyone feeling down. Thank you Scott.
I loved the way it was written - all from his own experience and knowledge, so much I could relate to, so many situations and reasons for feeling depressed, so much understanding what it's like and so much that helped me understand how I've got so depressed and how I can get out of it.
I've just finished reading for the second time and I am gonna read it again. It helps me think differently and like myself more. So glad I found it and would recommend to anyone feeling down. Thank you Scott.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews