Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life

by Laura Markham

Popular parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham, author of PEACEFUL PARENTS, HAPPY SIBLINGS, has garnered a large and loyal readership around the world, thanks to her simple, insightful approach that values the emotional bond between parent and child. As any parent of more than one child knows, though, it’s challenging for even the most engaged parent to maintain harmony and a strong connection when competition, tempers, and irritation run high.

In this highly anticipated guide, Dr. Markham presents simple yet powerful ways to cut through the squabbling and foster a loving, supportive bond between siblings, while giving each child the vital connection that he or she needs.

PEACEFUL PARENT, HAPPY SIBLINGS includes hands-on, research-based advice

Creating deep connections with each one of your children, so that each truly believes that you couldn’t possibly love anyone else more.

Fostering a loving family culture that encourages laughter and minimizes fighting

Teaching your children healthy emotional self-management and conflict resolution skills—so that they can work things out with each other, get their own needs met and respect the needs of others

Helping your kids forge a close lifelong sibling bond—as well as the relationship skills they will need for a life of healthy friendships, work relationships, and eventually their own family bonds.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Childrens, Self Help, Family, Psychology

Audible Audio

First published May 5, 2015

Reviews

[Oana Sipos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very short summary:

1. Every child needs unconditional love from his parents.

2. Every child with siblings needs to hear these 2 things:
- 1. You couldn't love anyone more.
- 2. No matter how much love his sibling gets, there's more than enough for him.

3. Never compare siblings: avoid labels altogether, appreciate each child uniquely and avoid competition.

4. Make time for Special Time with each kid. Daily, if possible. This is the mantra of this book, really.

5. Choose love.

Notes:
---
I've found that parenting gets a lot easier when we as parents can do three very hard things:

- 1) Regulate our own emotions
- 2) Stay connected with our child, even when we're setting limits or the child is upset
- 3) Coach instead of controlling, by fostering emotional intelligence, guiding with empathic limits instead of punishment, and supporting mastery

What causes sibling rivalry? When the sibling arrives, the first child cannot help but feel that his chances of survival statistically decrease. On the other hand, the second kid thinks: "How could you possibly value me as much as my older sibling who is so much better at everything, and who got to the party first?"

Being aware of this primal competition clues us in to the single most important antidote to sibling rivalry: Each child must be convinced from her daily experience, that no matter what her sibling gets, there is more than enough love, attention, and appreciation for her — and that you could never love anyone more.

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update (Dec. 2019): this is my second reading of this book and it was even better this time through. Since my first reading, I have implemented practices and have seen good results just like the author says I would. I highlighted my way through this book, and I'm going to take those sections and create some notes for myself so I don't forget key ideas and practices.

1st reading: (As with almost every book I read), While I didn't agree with every conclusion or method the author puts forth, I took away a lot of good information and ideas to use in parenting that I had not heard before. That is not to say that the author's ideas are unique or not easily found elsewhere; it is to say that my background and convictions would not have easily "allowed" me to put a book like this into my sphere of knowledge and therefore this is one of the first few books I've read in this specific category of parenting. (no judgement intended on anyone differing from myself.)

I enjoyed this book because it challenged my somewhat untested, rock-hard convictions about parenting. It shed light on what those people in a positive parenting community/movement truly believe and think (instead of hearsay and assumptions on my part). It gave me some ideas (that are relatively easy to implement and without much negative consequence [if you happen to be a skeptic like myself]) toward a more empathetic, gentle way of parenting, relating to my kids, understanding their outbursts, teaching them to be civil and mannerly, and correction (as a result of disobedience).

I would encourage every parent to read this book! Why? Because of short tempers, long days, frustration, selfishness, etc. we parents have a tendency (I believe) to be unnecessarily harsh, commanding, authoritative, etc at times. This book teaches how to work through that in practical ways with your kids. IT gives step by step scenario direction so that you can see in a detailed way how an apology or reprimand or intervention between siblings might look. It's very practical with step by step advice.

As far as the sibling fighting part and the advice given, I LOVE IT! In just a few short days while I was reading this book and implementing those things I read, I saw much more generosity and love between my 2 kids (ages 3 and 16 months old) without my prompting.

If you can take what you read with a grain of salt, and implement some of what you find in this book, it will make your home more pleasant! Read it :D

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A rare written review!

I hated Part One so much!! I felt like it was mostly a list of nonsense and unreasonable goals:
- Tell your boss you need to leave an hour early for the foreseeable future!
- Hire a babysitter so you can spend hours of uninterrupted time with each child! (With what money now? You're already leaving work an hour early, apparently!)
- Whenever your kids needs you stop whatever you are doing immediately and attend to them with many minutes of cuddles!!!! (What is she cooking for dinner?!??! How does she get dinner on the table on time if she keeps turning off the burner every 3 seconds to attend to her fighting children? DO HER CHILDREN NOT HAVE A BEDTIME!?!!?)
- If you and your kid have a super close relationship, they will not even WANT to misbehave!!! Are they misbehaving? Try HARDER.

I couldn't help thinking that a mom who already struggles with guilt would be completely undone with her assertions. The author does make some good suggestions - namely to make sure you have a personal relationship with each child and try to react positively even to negative situations - but part one was 1.5 stars at best.

And then Part Two was a SOLID FIVE STARS. It was validating, useful, I drank in every word and took copious notes! I loved her take one sharing toys, roughhousing, dealing with competition...all great. It's worth suffering through part one just to get to part 2.

And...Part Three I barely skimmed because it's about adding a new baby and we are past that.

That said, I think this book is a good option as a "Siblings without rivalry" for younger kids if you can stomach not living up to her version of what it looks like to prioritize your kids.

[Kate Winsor · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The answer is always more love!" This book was very motivating for me to be a better mom and role model for my kids. It definitely starts with me and I love how it talks about that. This book provides real life examples of dialogues you can have with your kids. Although some of the situations don't cater to my family, there were plenty of examples that I can use on some of the things my kids struggle with. I definitely need to read the first book out from the author. One more tool in the tool belt of motherhood. I've already used some of the ideas and it has worked really well.

[Lgordo · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't finish this book, because it got repetitive and didn't really address the younger years as well as she claimed. We have a young toddler and baby, and they are not going to be talking out and resolving issues together, and the toddler is not going to offer to share his toys with the baby. He hasn't developed any empathy yet.

This book is 80% "worked problems" where she shows how you can guide your kids through resolving their own problems within 5 exchanges or fewer. It all sounds a little unrealistically easy, but I guess putting in realistic arguments would make the book much fatter, and include screaming which is hard to do in standard fonts.

Our attempt at peaceful parenting went more like this:

Me: A, it looks like Z wants the toy you're playing with.
A: Z doesn't want the toy.
Me: He's reaching for it. He wants to play with it to. Do you think he can have a turn when you're done?
A: Z doesn't want it. He wants *this* toy. (Hands another toy to the baby, who drops it and reaches for the toy A is holding. A again tries to shove the other toy into Z's hand. Z keeps reaching for A's toy. A starts whining because Z is grabbing his toy, and he pushes Z. Z falls over and cries.)
Me: Z is crying. I have to go hug him now so I won't be able play with you. (A starts crying. And I think I've departed the peaceful parenting script now, because obvs A deserves more attention for attacking his brother according to Markham, but I'm attending to the baby instead. I don't think she addresses how to drown the offender in love while also comforting the victim.)

Yeah, so not exactly like the book.

The other 20% is repetition of two main techniques, which I already read in Janet Lansbury's "N0 Bad Kids": of letting tantrums work themselves to the end while you're present and empathizing, and sportscasting the disputes of two kids without actively refereeing. So it wasn't really mind-blowing, although it was nice to see it repeated and clarified for two kids instead of one.

I also tried her "preventative maintenance" on our toddler, who sometimes wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and just hates everything. I let his tantrum over cottage cheese run for a good five minutes. When he ran out of steam, he filled his bowl, went and ate it, and then proceeded to throw a tantrum about everything else for the rest of the morning. So I'm going to say that one did NOT work at all.

She claims that toddlers tantrum because they have Big Feelings, not because they want something. This might be true for her kids, but it's not true for mine. The reason the cottage-cheese tantrum lasted only 5 minutes was because it was about Big Feelings, not cottage cheese (which I was happy to give him any way he wanted). When I am refusing him a Thing, and he's deemed me unreasonable, they'll go 15 minutes plus until I either explain why he can't have what he wants and provide an alternative, or give in. So I am goingto say she's making that up.

I'm giving this three stars because I think on the whole it's good advice. I'm not giving more because (1) PM failed for us and I disagree with her attitude toward toddlers in general and (2) it's unnecessarily fat and repetitive and mildly unrealistic.

I'll take it out again when the kids are older and try again, though, because I do think there's some value here and I'll probably need the reinforcement.

[RoseB612 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pokud se musíte rozhodnout a přečíst pouze jednu z knih o AHA rodičovství, tak si určitě vyberte tuhle (pokud tedy máte či plánujete více než jedno dítě), ale jistě je lepší si nejdříve přečíst první knihu - AHA! rodičovství: Jak přestat křičet a začít žít s dětmi v harmonii - a až pak pokračovat s touto. Četla jsem se hned za sebou a to mi přišlo jako ideální.

Stejně jako první kniha, i tato stojí na respektujícím rodičovství a na potřebě nejdříve si utřídit svůj život a až pak řešit ty dětské. Na druhou stranu je knížka plná opravdu zajímavých tipů a postřehů pro sourozenecké vztahy, vč. řady modelových situací. Naše děti už jsou trošku větší, tak jsem místy litovala, že jsem si tohle nepřečetla dřív, protože v jistých situacích nás přímo vidím. Ale nemá smysl brečet na rozbryndaným mlékem, ale snažit se to příště zvládnout líp - a minimálně speciální čas a rodinné sešlosti u nás mají tendenci setrvat na dlouho.

Za mě o něco zajímavější kniha než ta první, takže tentokrát plný počet hvězdiček.

Kontext: Dcera začala chodit do školy, tak mám teď trochu jiné starosti a navíc mě pořád drží ta čtecí krize, tak nevím, jak se z toho vyhrabu - ale už se na to sama těším.

První věta: "Gratuluji! Budete mít druhé dítě."

Poslední věta: "VŽDY je více lásky."

[Eugenia Ologu Udriste · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cu o atitudine blândă și înțelegătoare, Dr. Laura Markham ne oferă diverse strategii de a gestiona rivalitatea dintre frați, pornind de la principiile explicate mai pe larg în cealaltă carte a sa "Părinți liniștiți, copii fericiți" - reglarea emoțiilor, conectarea și îndrumarea în locul controlului. Ghidul abundă de exemple, inclusiv ce replici poți folosi în loc de unele mai puțin inspirate, situații diverse de la cum anunți sarcina până la gestionarea relațiilor dintre copii mai mari, precum și exemple de jocuri utile.
O parte dintre principiile enumerate aici le-am regăsit și în alte cărți de parenting precum "Comunicarea eficientă cu copiii acasă și la școală", "Lacrimi și crize de furie", "Nu există copii răi", "Creierul copilului tău". Lucrarea de față explică și de ce nu sunt eficiente strategii precum pedepsele, timpul de liniștire (izolare) sau recompensele.
Autoarea are un stil atât de cursiv și de empatic, bine structurat în argumentare, încât întâlnești momente de revelație la fiecare paragraf. Anticipează fiecare întrebare care îți vine în minte și îi oferă un răspuns care clarifică foarte multe. Și-a ales cu inspirație numele propriului site AhaParenting.com unde găsim tot felul de articole pe o mulțime de teme și instrumente foarte utile (de exemplu, un model de carte a fraților pe care o poți personaliza cu informațiile proprii).
Consider că această lectură îi poate face oricărui părinte cu mai mulți copii viața mai ușoară.

Citate:

Copiii care se simt conectați sunt mult mai cooperanți. 

Odată ce ne permitem să trăim acea emoție, ea va începe să se disipeze, pe când dacă încercăm să o îndepărtăm, o îngropăm în inconștient de unde nu mai poate fi controlată și va răbufni sub diverse forme. Scopul nostru, ca părinți, este să îi ajutăm să își trăiască în siguranță emoțiile. 

Empatia presupune ca, indiferent ce spune sau face, să îi acceptăm cu înțelegere perspectiva, chiar și atunci când nu suntem de acord cu ea. 

Toate comportamentele neadecvate sunt un strigăt de ajutor sau de conectare. 

Odată ce copiii își pot regla emoțiile, își vor regla și comportamentul. 

Disciplina presupune o trasare a limitelor cu empatie. Mai întâi îți reglezi propriile emoții, apoi îndrumi copilul spre comportamentul dorit, în timp ce te reconectezi cu el. De exemplu: stabilești limite + accepți emoțiile și nevoile sale + redirecționarea impulsurilor + împlinirea dorinței în plan imaginar + oferirea unor opțiuni + cooperare prin joacă + găsirea împreună a unei soluții. 

Dacă empatia pare să nu "funcționeze", poate că de vină sunt cuvintele alese. 

Mentenanța preventivă = rutină + empatie + râs + timp împreună 

Întotdeauna, copiii încep să se poarte nepotrivit când sunt stresați, iar râsul sau plânsul vor repara, de obicei, ce nu este în regulă cu condiția ca factorul de stres să fie întrerupt. 

Copiii devin furioși când empatizăm, fiindcă, datorită înțelegerii primite, se pot conecta la ceea ce simt, iar emoțiile respective amenință să îi copleșească cu durere și teamă. Furia este un sistem de apărare în fața senzației de vulnerabilitate.

Furia nu aduce vindecarea. Abia plânsul de după e cel mai bun remediu. 

Datorită faptului că se simt în siguranță, sentimentele ies la iveală cu mai multă forță. Acceptarea voastră e cea care îl vindecă pe copil. 

Indiferent de cum este copilul, puteți alege modul în care să îi răspundeți, iar reacțiile voastre vor defini traseul relației cu el și, într-o oarecare măsură, îi vor forma creierul și modul în care se va raporta la el însuși și la cei din jur. 

Luând partea unuia dintre copii - chiar dacă, în mod obiectiv, aveți dreptate - îi va face să se simtă că unul a câștigat și celălalt a pierdut, ceea ce le va alimenta rivalitatea. Prin urmare, nu intervenția părintelui este problema, ci a lua partea unuia dintre copii. 

Cum interveniți?
1.Calm, conectare cu toți, empatie. 2.Descrierea problemei fără a judeca. 3.Interpretați, îndrumând fiecare copil să-și exprime sentimentele fără a-l ataca pe celălalt.
4.Reamintiți regulile.
5.Îndrumați copiii să găsească soluții. 

Copiii sunt programați genetic să ne mențină atenția mereu ocupată pentru a-și spori șansele de supraviețuire. 

Atunci când le permitem copiilor să aleagă ei să împartă, își dezvoltă generozitatea (rândul autostabilit). 

Cei mici nu au o problemă cu faptul că sunt tratați diferiți, atâta timp cât consideră că rezultatul este corect.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not a book to read all the way through. Since there were some parts that did not apply to my situation. But the parts that did apply, it was very helpful. I wasn't entirely thrilled with the writing style. Sometimes it sounded a little condescending. And it was more apparent when I was listening to the audiobook. But there were many helpful things and take away from.

[Lizzie Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

AWESOME book.

My sister texted me a picture of the cover and told me this book had changed her life, so I obviously had to read it.

Maybe the best parenting book I've ever read. It was detailed, it provided ideas and scripts and examples, it was backed by studies, and it made a lot of sense to me. Hugely important topic to me (not just parenting, but how to create an environment that encourages my daughters to love each other) and ultimately incredibly impactful. She talks in detail about how to avoid unnecessary competition and comparisons, and instead cultivating cooperation, companionship, and individuality. She helps you see your children with more compassion and helps you find ways to calm yourself and your kids when things start getting intense. There were so many fantastic ideas in here. One I really want to implement is creating a sibling holiday for my kids- an annual tradition where the kids celebrate and are celebrated by their siblings. I took notes on my phone throughout this one to be able to remember everything I was learning.

I will absolutely be returning to this one.

[Amandanoel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I was looking for more specifically sibling advice? Lots of focus on gentle parenting in general and most of the examples were for only two sibling families... I did appreciate acknowledging that the closer your kids are spaced the harder it is to truly be able to put out all the parenting fires simultaneously 🙈
(This book mainly focuses on avoiding sibling competition but I think the book I need talks about what to do when siblings are best friends and team up to make you crazy town/cover each other’s shenanigans 😂😂😂)

[Ieva Visockienė · Rating 5 out of 5]

https://perskaiciau.lt/laura-markham-...

[Elena Š. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Skvelá kniha plná príkladov, praktických tipov a ukážok situácií, odporúčam všetkými desiatimi, určite sa k mnohým pasážam (ak nie k celej knihe) ešte vrátim

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Truputį vargino pasikartojančios mintys. Ir tikėjausi, kad knyga bus apie mažesnius vaikus, bet joje pagrinde visi aprašomi atvejai nagrinėja vyresnių brolių ir seserų (na tokių, kurie jau gali daugmaž išreikšti savo jausmus ir jų priežastis) konfliktus, santykius. Ateityje skaitysiu vėl.

[Vaidadienis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mes tėvai, savo vaikus labai mylime ir dažnai norime paties geriausio.

Kai mano pirmasis sūnus buvo šiek tiek paaugęs ir, kai laukiausi antrojo vaiko visada įsivaizdavau juos labai gerai sutariančius ir gražiai žaidžiant.

Tada nė neįsivaizdavau, kad nebus dienos be muštynių, pavydo ir skundų.
Turiu pripažinti, kad visa ši situacija man kėlė didelį stresą, atrodo kas ne taip, ką ne taip darome su vyru, kad mūsų vaikai negali būti be muštynių?

Knygoje "Ramūs tėvai, geri brolių ir seserų santykiai" maniau rasiu daug nurodymų kaip ką daryti su vaikais, bet gavau didelį pliūpsnį įkvėpimo viską pradėti visų pirma nuo savęs.

Natūralu, kad tarp vaikų yra nesutarimų, konkurencijos ir pavydo bangų, bet tik nuo mūsų atsako į visas tas situacijas priklausis tolimesni vaikų bendravimo santykiai.

Skaičiau pirmą autorės knygą, kuri man dar iki šių dienų yra viena geriausių tėvystės tema knygų. Pasitikiu autorės patirtimi ir žiniomis, kurios man artimos, suprantamos bei naudingos.

Tobulų tėvų nebūna, bet mūsų vaikams jų ir nereikia!
Tėvystė - sunkiausias darbas ir kartais atrodo norisi pasiduoti, atrodo niekas neveikia, bet išties emocinis mūsų pačių dosnumas savo vaikams, kad ir kokie pavargę būtume, yra didžiausias gerų, sėkmingų santykių įrankis.

Tai knyga - gidas, kurios patarimų nepapakaks tik perskaityti ir įsiminti, norint siekti geresnių brolių ir sesių santykių reikės įdeti daug darbo ir pastangų.

Ar jaučiuosi ramesnė perskaičius knygą?
Taip, tikrai taip! Bet kaip ir minėjau pradžioje esu įkvėpta tobulėti.

Knygą nuoširdžiai rekomenduoju perskaityti visiems tėvams auginantiems daugiau nei vieną vaiką, taip pat, jeigu laukiates antro vaiko, rasite daug naudingų patarimų kaip paruošti brolį ar sesę atėjimui naujam šeimos nariui.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book takes the best parts of Siblings Without Rivalry and How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids will Talk and translates them to young kids. It starts from the same framework as Markham's Peaceful Parenting. Basically: get yourself in order first, figure out how to be aware of your own emotions and recognize when you are tired/hungry/stressed and try to head off issues before they begin. The crux of the book is about building empathy in your children and coaching them in working through their feelings and making good decisions because they understand how it impacts other people, not because they are trying to avoid negative consequences. The author advocates for "time in," preventive maintenance and other techniques and does not support time outs. While I'm not sure I agree with all of her advice, there are a lot of great ideas based in research. So far I've seen good results with trying things out with one kiddo. Unique ideas too like creating a sibling holiday, lots of ways to keep the big kid busy while mom is nursing and even how to handle the situation where multiple kids want to push the elevator button. Real world situations and a menu of ideas to try. Seems like one that I'll return to at different points based on ages and stages.

[Perryapril2 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this book in my car for months here and there on short trips. And overall there are a lot of good points made and a lot of things I wish I would have done/known to do when my kids were younger. Similar to her peaceful parent book it’s a lot about connecting with your children and teaching them to respect each other. The not making your kids share a toy idea is a bit weird for me (again I am almost out of this phase)...but I kind of get what she is saying- it should be on their terms when to be done, but there would have to be some type of adjustment to that rule for me.
Again I wish I had read this when my kids were younger- maybe my kids would be better friends now instead of just tolerating each other. Trying not to compare them and point out their strengths and weaknesses in front of each of them is also hard to do. Hopefully I can take some of what I “read” and help my kids be better friends now and in the future.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't see eye to eye with the author on her no punishment principles, which is the basis for her parenting philosophy. Especially at the beginning of the book it was so prevalent that I didn't think this book would be of use to me at all.
However, I really love the author's emphasis on unconditional love and her reminder to think about what you're conveying to your child through your actions. She also has many useful tips that I want to use with my own children. Eventually, these things won me over to actually like this book, and even keep it around for a bit.

[Dale Mullings · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a good follow up the the authors former work, but it didn't resonate in the same way with me. Maybe it was that at many times I felt like the author was speaking to and quoting mothers often, and it made me feel less connected to the content as a father. There are strategies I've employed that have changed the way I parent, just not at the same magnitude as her earlier books.

[Katie Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a stay at home mom with a 2 and 5 year old. When I began the book, they were fighting about once an hour. By the time I finished the book and implemented a lot of the advice, they had reduced their conflicts to about once a day. 100% worth the read because it makes a difference. I just wish I’d read it before my second was born!

[Alissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this author's advice and that she provides SCRIPTS of what to say. I didn't love that this book had a pretty intense summary at the beginning of the principles from her first book. I liked that it was pretty skim-able and I could read through to the sections most interesting to me.

[Edita Kazakevičienė · Rating 5 out of 5]

„Iš tėvų pasakojimų matyti, kad maži broliai ir seserys pešasi apie septynis kartus kas valandą, ir tik apie 10 procentų tų konfliktų baigiasi laimingai, „susitaikymu” ar net „kompromisu”.

Nuostabi knyga NETOBULIEMS tėvams. Tėvystė yra puiki mokykla ir mums. Parašyta labai aiškiai, paprastai ir joje autorė pateikia veiksmingas strategijas, kaip spręsti konkrečias situacijas, kai mūsų vaikai nesutaria.

Socialiniuose tinkluose retai pamatysi besipykstančius brolius ir seseris, greičiau atvirkščiai: telieka tik atsidusti pamačius tobulas, apsikabinusių kitų šeimų vaikų nuotraukas, ir pagalvoti: o kodėl mano vaikai negali taip gerai sutarti?

Aš užaugau trijų vaikų šeimoje, o pati turiu du berniukus, tad žinau, kad tarp brolių ir seserų būna visko. Tačiau, ar normalu, jog vaikai pavyduliauja vienas kitam, pykstasi ir pešasi? Gera žinia, kad taip, nes konkurencija yra užprogramuota... genetiškai!

Ech, kad šią knygą būčiau perskaičiusi, kai gimė mano antrasis vaikas. Tačiau, net ir prabėgus keliems metams nevėlu. Autorė pabrėžia, jog santykiai turi ypatybę keistis, o ryšį visada galima atnaujinti ir sustiprinti. Taigi, koks esminis skirtumas tarp šeimų, kurių vaikai sutaria ir nesutaria? Tai mes – tėvai, esame svarbiausias veiksnys ir tik nuo mūsų priklauso, kokie santykiai bus tarp mūsų vaikų.

Knygoje pateikti konkretūs patarimai, kaip paruošti pirmagimį brolio/sesės gimimui, kuo užimti kitą vaiką, kol mama maitina kūdikį, kaip spręsti peštynes, kodėl reikalingos emocinės krizės ir kaip padėti vaikams susidoroti su stipriomis emocijomis. O, svarbiausia – kaip sukurti šeimoje palaikančią aplinką, kuri suteiktų galimybę laimėti meilei tarp brolių ir seserų, o ne pykčiui. Tai autorė, kuri visada palaiko ir įkvėpia tėvus, bei skleidžia žinią, kad kiekvienas vaikas nusipelno būti mūsų numylėtinis. Net jeigu jų turime dešimt.

„Visada sprendimas – daugiau meilės. Taip, daugiau meilės savo vaikams, bet pradėkite nuo meilės sau.
Meilės visada būna daugiau.” https://profesionalimama.wordpress.co...

[Lea Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every time I read a Laura Markham book I vacillate between thinking I'm a terrible parent, and then that maybe I'm doing okay. As my children are getting older and conflict seems to be inevitable, Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings was a good resource to find some ways to foster their relationship.

Markham begins the book with some of the foundational precepts that made me appreciate Peaceful Parent, Happy Child, and served as good reminders of those things I have casually forgotten in the two years since I read the earlier book.

I'm thankful to have the reminder and have been trying to put the ideas into practice, even as our post-Christmas euphoria has devolved into the same petty squabbles of finding and equipping ourselves with shoes and coats which make up the most stressful 20 minutes of my morning.

[Gintarė Ten · Rating 3 out of 5]

Knyga skaitėsi lėtokai, nes daug pavyzdinių situacijų ir lyg nieko tokio per daug stebuklingai naujo autorė neišrado, kai tiesiog aišku, kad turi suvaldyt savas emocijas, tada skirti laiko išklausant, pasijuokiant ar tiesiog leidžiant laiką kartu ir kuriant tarpusavio ryšį. Bet radau ir naudingų sau įžvalgų (šeimos susirinkimų dalis), priminimą apie stebinimą rašteliais, malonėmis ar kitomis veiklomis, laiką atskirai.

"Bet pati prigimtis žaidimą numatė, kaip priemonę žmonėms, ypač mažiems žmogeliukams, kasdienio gyvenimo įtampoms susilpninti ir ryšiui megzti. Vaikai kliaujasi fiziniu žaidimu, kad įveiktų natūralias santykių įtampas. Judėjimas padeda iškrauti emocijas. Juokas dar svarbesnis, nes prigamina oksitocino, prieraišumo hormono, ir slopina nerimą sumažindamas streso hormonų kiekį. "

[Ashly Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall I would say this is a very good book. There are a lot of practical action items that can be used at many different stages of the sibling dynamic.

I am glad to have read this while pregnant with my second child, but at the same time my brain feels a little oversaturated and I’m not actually sure how much of this I will retain.

By the last section, which is unfortunately the one I was most excited about, I was really flying through the numbered lists, just kind of wanting it to be over. There is a lot of repetition which isn’t necessarily awful, but reading this book start to finish made it a little much.

A lot of this feels like common knowledge that may just be outside the norm for our current toxic culture. Regardless, a great resource for parents hoping to raise siblings that don’t totally hate each other!

[Natalia UN · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cartea abunda în idei bune cum sa-i facem pe copiii noștri să se simtă iubiți, pentru a evita gelozia și rivalitatea dintre frați, dar unele sfaturi se cam băteau cap in cap cu realitatea. Autoarea deseori aduce exemple de conversatie dintre 2 frati ( vârsta 2 si 5 ani sa presupunem), unde cei doi copii discută despre problema pe care o au si găsesc o soluție. Uuunde, pe ce planetă se intâmpla asa discutii amiabile intre copii cu soluții puse la punct? Eu n-am vazut.
Nu am primit răspuns la intrebările pe care le aveam, cred că așteptările au fost prea mari.

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not any more peaceful after having read this. There was so much geared towards toddlers and new babies that didn’t apply to me. I guess I’m looking for a book titled “How to Stop Your Kids From Slapping Each Other Because They Watch too Much YouTube and Think They’re in the WWE.”

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I already feel my siblings get along with each other better. I just changed the way I framed things. I encouraged them to check in with their siblings, say good night to each other, and ask for help from their siblings. What a great new culture for our household!

[Michal Červený · Rating 5 out of 5]

O pár mesiacov príde druhý syn, a tak nastal čas sa trochu vzdelať. Táto kniha je veľmi dobre napísaná, páči sa mi hlavne štruktúra. Ak ma niečo zaujímalo menej, vedel som to preskočiť, jednotlivé poznatky sú prehľadne spísané v bodoch.
Už len to všetko dodržať 🫡

[Petra Lazárková · Rating 5 out of 5]

krásně kontaktní kniha o sourozencích vycházející z principů knihy Respektovat a být respektován. Pro "majitele" sourozenců must have. Plná super použitelných praktických tipů.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent parenting resource, highly recommend. Fantastic ideas if you are currently transitioning to a family with two children.