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Mindful Loving: 10 Practices for Creating Deeper Connections
In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Henry Grayson shares his breakthrough techniques for creating deeper and more lasting connections with our loved ones.
Henry Grayson, a psychologist, relationship counselor, psychoanalyst, and former minister who has been working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships for more than thirty years, has found that most people are actually more unhappy after marriage counseling or couples therapy. In Mindful Loving he sets aside the traditional methods of therapy to show you how to look at your relationships from a completely different perspective. By getting to the root of our relationship problems, Grayson creates a whole new framework in which to view intimacy-- one where psychology, spirituality, and science meet. He shows you how to:
Break the vicious cycles of interaction that trap you in patterns of resentment and isolation
Identify the six forms of counterfeit "love" and nine barriers to love
Practice ten characteristics of Empowering Love
Create a spiritual marriage rather than an ego-based one
Filled with techniques, exercises, meditations, and inspiring case studies, here is an indispensable guide to creating healthy and fulfilling relationships that is destined to become a classic in the field.
Henry Grayson, a psychologist, relationship counselor, psychoanalyst, and former minister who has been working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships for more than thirty years, has found that most people are actually more unhappy after marriage counseling or couples therapy. In Mindful Loving he sets aside the traditional methods of therapy to show you how to look at your relationships from a completely different perspective. By getting to the root of our relationship problems, Grayson creates a whole new framework in which to view intimacy-- one where psychology, spirituality, and science meet. He shows you how to:
Break the vicious cycles of interaction that trap you in patterns of resentment and isolation
Identify the six forms of counterfeit "love" and nine barriers to love
Practice ten characteristics of Empowering Love
Create a spiritual marriage rather than an ego-based one
Filled with techniques, exercises, meditations, and inspiring case studies, here is an indispensable guide to creating healthy and fulfilling relationships that is destined to become a classic in the field.
285 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
48 people are currently reading
346 people want to read
About the author
Henry Grayson
16 books22 followersDr. Henry Grayson is on the cutting edge of mind/body/spirit psychology. The founder of the National Institute for the Psychotherapies in New York City, Dr. Grayson was a Protestant minister before receiving his Ph.D. in psychology from Boston University and post-doctoral certification in psychoanalysis from the Postgraduate Center for Mental Health. This rich background led him to his work in spiritually based, mind body energy psychology and his creation of Synergetic Therapy.
He is the Founder and Chairman Emeritus of the Board of Trustees of the National Institute for the Psychotherapies in New York; the Founder and Director of the Institute for Spirituality, Science and Psychotherapy; and continues to appear in numerous documentaries and PBS specials. He has studied neuropsychology, the major psychotherapies, the new power therapies, quantum physics and Eastern and Western spiritual philosophies. He is the author of Use Your Body to Heal Your Mind: Revolutionary Methods to Release All Barriers to Health, Healing and Happiness, Mindful Loving: 10 Practices for Creating Deeper Connections and the best selling CD Audio Series for Sounds True,The New Physics of Love: The Power of Mind & Spirit in Relationships. His academic titles include Three Psychotherapies: A Clinical Comparison, Short Term Approaches to Psychotherapy, and Changing Approaches To The Psychotherapies. In addition, he is the co-chairman of the PTSD division of the Stand Up For Your Troops Foundation.
Dr. Grayson’s professional affiliations include: Fellow of the American Group Psychotherapy Association, Diplomat of the American Board of Professional Psychology; member of the American Psychological Association, The New York State Psychological Association, The Connecticut Psychological Association, The Association for Transpersonal Psychology, The Institute of Noetic Sciences, The Society for the Scientific Study of Subtle Energies Medicine, EMDR International Association, a former Board Member of the Eastern Group Psychotherapy Society, and is the Founder and Past President of the Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy. Diplomat of The Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology.
He is the Founder and Chairman Emeritus of the Board of Trustees of the National Institute for the Psychotherapies in New York; the Founder and Director of the Institute for Spirituality, Science and Psychotherapy; and continues to appear in numerous documentaries and PBS specials. He has studied neuropsychology, the major psychotherapies, the new power therapies, quantum physics and Eastern and Western spiritual philosophies. He is the author of Use Your Body to Heal Your Mind: Revolutionary Methods to Release All Barriers to Health, Healing and Happiness, Mindful Loving: 10 Practices for Creating Deeper Connections and the best selling CD Audio Series for Sounds True,The New Physics of Love: The Power of Mind & Spirit in Relationships. His academic titles include Three Psychotherapies: A Clinical Comparison, Short Term Approaches to Psychotherapy, and Changing Approaches To The Psychotherapies. In addition, he is the co-chairman of the PTSD division of the Stand Up For Your Troops Foundation.
Dr. Grayson’s professional affiliations include: Fellow of the American Group Psychotherapy Association, Diplomat of the American Board of Professional Psychology; member of the American Psychological Association, The New York State Psychological Association, The Connecticut Psychological Association, The Association for Transpersonal Psychology, The Institute of Noetic Sciences, The Society for the Scientific Study of Subtle Energies Medicine, EMDR International Association, a former Board Member of the Eastern Group Psychotherapy Society, and is the Founder and Past President of the Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy. Diplomat of The Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
December 6, 2014
One thing that bothers me about this book is it seems very binary to me. If you are spiritual, that’s a one. Ego centered, well, that’s a zero. You could almost do a search and replace and substitute Godly for spiritual and worldly for ego and sell the book to a whole different market, based on what I have read.
What I have seen so far in life rejects binaries in terms of relationships and people. None of my marriages and relationships in my long life have been the same. What one relationship needs to survive often is poison to another. Over time marriages and relationships change! That's wonderful in my own life book. My own marriages and relationships have been wonderful because of their differences.
Life styles, relationship and gender orientation possibilities are richly varied. Many styles of relationships and religions make up the world. Not even a scale from black to white is enough. Life is Technicolor rich to me. I like Technicolor. To me binary is white or black and that to me is narrow minded and limiting in perspective.
I do agree with the book that most of the world around us is a reflection of the world we create in our minds. That fits with what the author writes. We have more free will than we often grasp. We can change our world by changing our minds. But, to quote Agent Cooper in Twin Peaks, “coincidence and fate figure largely in our lives.”
My first wife fell asleep at the wheel and hit a power pole. I don’t think she willed that power pole to be right where it is as she slid sideways into it.
And, what about evil? There are evil people who do evil things. I don’t think the folks in the World Trade Center willed airliners to hit their buildings by having the wrong attitude. You can just be at the wrong place when evil happens. Evil does not happen to people because of their wrong attitude.
You can’t just blame the victims for having the wrong attitude. But, that’s what I think the book often does. It posits that a person can be abusing you and the target of the abuse should change their attitude and that will stop the abuse.
That does not sit well with me. The author wraps up with a chapter on mindful divorce. That's not enough for me. I am a spiritual guy who meditates and tries to live mindfully.
To me this book falls short. I agree with it 90 percent. My concern is that folks who read this book, and embrace it 100%, may end up taking on shame and blame for things that would be better off being let go.
What I have seen so far in life rejects binaries in terms of relationships and people. None of my marriages and relationships in my long life have been the same. What one relationship needs to survive often is poison to another. Over time marriages and relationships change! That's wonderful in my own life book. My own marriages and relationships have been wonderful because of their differences.
Life styles, relationship and gender orientation possibilities are richly varied. Many styles of relationships and religions make up the world. Not even a scale from black to white is enough. Life is Technicolor rich to me. I like Technicolor. To me binary is white or black and that to me is narrow minded and limiting in perspective.
I do agree with the book that most of the world around us is a reflection of the world we create in our minds. That fits with what the author writes. We have more free will than we often grasp. We can change our world by changing our minds. But, to quote Agent Cooper in Twin Peaks, “coincidence and fate figure largely in our lives.”
My first wife fell asleep at the wheel and hit a power pole. I don’t think she willed that power pole to be right where it is as she slid sideways into it.
And, what about evil? There are evil people who do evil things. I don’t think the folks in the World Trade Center willed airliners to hit their buildings by having the wrong attitude. You can just be at the wrong place when evil happens. Evil does not happen to people because of their wrong attitude.
You can’t just blame the victims for having the wrong attitude. But, that’s what I think the book often does. It posits that a person can be abusing you and the target of the abuse should change their attitude and that will stop the abuse.
That does not sit well with me. The author wraps up with a chapter on mindful divorce. That's not enough for me. I am a spiritual guy who meditates and tries to live mindfully.
To me this book falls short. I agree with it 90 percent. My concern is that folks who read this book, and embrace it 100%, may end up taking on shame and blame for things that would be better off being let go.
October 25, 2023
I love the book and I am so lucky to read it.
For instance, I found these sentences in the book -- Mindful Loving:
"Being the opposite of love, fear is one of the central barriers to love. When we dwell on our fear, it reinforces our illusion of littleness and displaces love from our conscious awareness." (Page 184) - Henry Grayson, PhD
I believe that it's so true. The book is fantastic and has no words to explain.
I have to say "thanks (謝謝)" to the one who gave me this book. It's extremely valuable, indeed.
Best Regards,
Michioflavia
For instance, I found these sentences in the book -- Mindful Loving:
"Being the opposite of love, fear is one of the central barriers to love. When we dwell on our fear, it reinforces our illusion of littleness and displaces love from our conscious awareness." (Page 184) - Henry Grayson, PhD
I believe that it's so true. The book is fantastic and has no words to explain.
I have to say "thanks (謝謝)" to the one who gave me this book. It's extremely valuable, indeed.
Best Regards,
Michioflavia
March 13, 2019
It had some good techniques on how to monitor your thoughts and change the critical thoughts into a more loving dialogue with yourself. However, appropriate use of anger and boundaries were not realistically addressed. It was more passive people-pleasing that was stressed, I thought.
December 27, 2015
This is THAT book that everyone should read before they jump into relationships. It has a little questionnaire that will show you if you have "ego based" love or if I am driven by my own personal need for gratification or more spiritual based. I thought that I was less selfish but let's just say I have some work to do. I was not who I thought I was. I took more responsibility for my happiness and found this book helpful to understand my role in the demise and success of my relationships and to note areas that would be sure to cause discord in my relationships.
May 4, 2016
The way to my heart. To anyone's heart. This book is powerful in opening one's eyes to see the truth about relationships, love, communication, thought. It reveals how what we think about creates our reality--and never is this more true than when dealing with another person. When two "thoughts" collide and you're now living together and dealing with these thoughts, beliefs, behaviors...what do you do? How do you relate? How do you get along? How do you forgive? How do you keep the intimacy alive?
Here's how.
Here's how.
April 23, 2011
Not what I typically read but I really enjoyed this book. The author offers a number of ways he believes that we can reach true happiness by ourselves or within a partnership. He talks about thought control, over-riding our egos, finding our true selves, and seeing the Oneness in the Universe. Practical 'mind' exercises are given and the usefuleness of meditation is discussed. A good self-improvement book.
October 22, 2008
This is a wonderful book! I would recommend it to anyone in any kind of relationship, particularly committed ones like marriages. If you are contemplating divorce or separation, the last chapter is a "must-read."
April 2, 2009
Try everywhere else, read anything and everything but I've yet to find better than this definitive guide for changing your own mind, practicing unconditional love and doing what you need to do to finally be in a relationship in the way you've always hoped for.
December 24, 2008
I just picked this one up so you'll have to stay tuned...
June 16, 2009
I know this book is embarassingly new age. Please refrain from mocking me.
July 17, 2010
I learned a great deal from this book that I have applied in my own marriage and all the relationships in my life.
July 9, 2010
An amazing blend of physics, psychology & spirituality. I really found the science behind the power of our intentions very compelling. It takes "The Secret" to a whole new level!
March 11, 2012
Heard the author speak and found his talk and book very enlightening
June 17, 2012
Had some great things to say about how not to try to change someone to fit your perception of who you want another person to be.... got a bit repetitive at times.
April 10, 2015
This was amazing
I recommend everyone reads this book. It changes life. I am so peaceful now. I am very grateful to my friend who recommend I read it.
I recommend everyone reads this book. It changes life. I am so peaceful now. I am very grateful to my friend who recommend I read it.
September 19, 2016
A really important book. Rates up there with David Richo's How to be an Adult in Relationships.
June 30, 2015
A lot to absorb - may require re-reading on an as-needed basis.
Read
November 8, 2016it was good
April 18, 2017
I credit this book with helping me connect the dots in a way no other book had before. The combination of clear science along with a caring and gently analytical approach proved instrumental in helping me to "get" how our thoughts are influential in all relationships, especially those closest to us.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews