How to Win Friends and Influence People / How to Stop Worrying and Start Living / The Art of Public Speaking

by Dale Carnegie

This volume features the three most important works by Dale Carnegie, the books that made him a household name worldwide, and one of the most influential people of the 20th century.

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE (Original 1936 version)
HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING
THE ART OF PUBLIC SPEAKING

Published in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People is still popular in business and Business Communication skills. It is packed with advice to create success in business and personal lives. It includes the following parts:

Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You
Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
Part Four: Be a Leader - How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING, his second most popular book had the goal of leading the reader to a more enjoyable and fulfilling life, helping them to become more aware of, not only themselves, but others around them. Carnegie tries to address the everyday nuances of living, in order to get the reader to focus on the more important aspects of life.

The third book, the Art of Public Speaking, was the book that taught generations of public speakers world wide, and that, even today, continues to be an unsurpassed tool of the trade.

Genres: Self Help

942 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 30, 2014

About the author

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and teacher of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. Born into poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), a bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948), Lincoln the Unknown (1932), and several other books.
One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's behavior towards them.

Reviews

[Lídia · Rating 3 out of 5]

· Summary

FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
- Criticism always return home, and the person who we are going to correct or condemn will probably justify itself and condemn us in return
- Wrongdoers blame anybody but themselves
2 Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want
-List of most desired things:
Health and the preservation of life
Food
Sleep
Money
Life in hereafter
Sexual gratification
Well-being of your children
Feeling of importance
3. Arouse in the other person an eager need or want.
- When fishing bait the hook with worms not chocolate, even we rather the second one the fish prefer the first

WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
- You make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you
2. Smile.
- You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you
- Nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give!
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Name as many people by first name as you can, they will feel important to you and will be more pleased by you
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Listen intently
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Meet the subject your visitor most likes before meeting with him
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
- Make a person go home walking on air
- Ask yourself, what is there about him I can honestly admire

HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU INSTANTLY
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Keep the disagreement from becoming an argument
2. Show respect for other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
- If you are going to prove anything don’t let anybody know it, do it subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it.
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
- A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- begin by emphasizing the things on which you agree keep your oponent from saying ‘NO’
6. Let the other person do a a great deal of the talking.
- Ask them questions, let them tell you a few things
- Don’t interrupt even if disagree
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- We prefer to chose than to be commanded
- Make suggestions and let the other person think out the conclusion
- We have much more faith in ideas that we discover for ourselves
8. Try honestly to see things from the other persons point of view.
- Be wise, tolerant and exceptional, and try to understand
- Try honestly to put yourself in his shoes
9. By synthetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Apologize and sympathize with the other point of view and they will do so with you
- I don’t blame you one iota for feelings as you do. If I where you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.
10. Appeal to the other nobler motives.
- Listen to the story they have to tell and then adjust yours to match theirs
11. Dramatize your ideas.
- Exaggerate and sometimes add or keep the gossip around
12. Throw down a challenge.
- The way to get things done is to stimulate competition

BE A LEADER: HOW TO CHANGE PEOPE WITHOUT GIVING OFFENSE OR AROUING RESENTMENT
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- The way you say it will make the difference
- In changing people without giving offers or arousing resentment
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- It isn’t nearly so difficult to listen to a recital of your faults the person critizising begins by humbly admitting that he is far from impeccable.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Make orders palatable
- Stimulate their creativity
5. Let the other person save face.
- “Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime”
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your appreciation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Give a dog a good name
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Be liberal with your encouragement
- Let the other person know that you have fait in his ability to do it
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
- Making people glad to do what you want
+ Be sincere
+ Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do
+ Be empathetic
+ Consider the benefits to the others person’s wants
+ When you make a request put it in a form that will convey to the other person idea that he personally will benefit.
(Carnegie, 1937)

· Personal opinion about content.
He puts too many examples of American Presidents and Vice-presidents like Lincoln, Roosevelt or Rockefeller, which for my taste is too repetitive and now I don’t want to know anything from Lincoln for at least the next three years.
Some stories are very long and don’t go straight to the point, and I want to skip them but I have to keep on an eye not to miss the important information.

· Knowledge gained.
My favorite principle is SMILE, and now I keep it more present in my head
To not interrupt when you disagree, which I sometimes tend to do.
To tell people by first name, I always had trouble to remember someones name at first but once I interiorized I tend to never forget.

· Book complementation
- Dialoge by William Isaacs
- I Ain’t Much, Baby-But I’m All I Got by Jess Lair
- How To Turn People Into Gold by Kenneth M. Goode
- Getting Through To People by Dr Gerald S. Niremberg

[Dixit · Rating 5 out of 5]

best book