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Muhasabah Cintaku
MEMANG Haziq tak sangka yang dia akan bertemu lagi dengan Hajira, perempuan garang yang pernah menyerang sahabatnya, Syafiq di ofis itu dulu.
“Ops... Sorry, tak sengaja.”
“Awak ni kan… Memang sengaja nak langgar saya, kan? Saya tahulah saya ni handsome. Perempuan... memang macam tu la, nak dapatkan perhatian lelaki.”
“Eh, eh awak ni, saya dah minta maaf, kan? Awak handsome? Saya rasalah kan... kambing belakang rumah mak ngah saya lagi handsome kut. Dasar lelaki perasantan.”
Hajira juga mula kurang senang dengan Haziq. Asalnya dia bergaduh dengan Syafiq sahaja, tup-tup, Haziq juga masuk campur dengan tiba-tiba merenung dan menjeling dia tanda tak puas hati. Siapa yang tak sakit hati?
Atas niat jahat Syafiq yang berpaksikan dendam lama, rancangan rapi diatur. Dia mahu Hajira hidup sengsara bersama orang yang dia benci dan juga membencinya. Sasarannya… Haziq!
“Dia tu pantang sikit kalau jumpa orang kaya ni, lebih kurang macam perempuan pisau cukur.”– Syafiq
Kerana fitnah, dua manusia yang saling tidak menyukai itu disatukan. Maruah Hajira rabak saat tiada siapa pun mempercayainya. Haziq yang sedia diracuni dengan kata-kata Syafiq, langsung tidak memberi ruang kepada hatinya untuk mencintai Hajira. Otaknya seperti telah diprogram, Hajira hanya inginkan hartanya. Namun hatinya berkata… “Kalau Hajira tak seburuk yang disangkakan, pasti aku akan mencintainya sepenuh hati.”
Bagi Hajira pula, dia telah berjanji kepada diri yang dia akan cuba belajar mencintai Haziq walau tidak dihargai oleh Haziq. Dia mahu menjadi isteri yang solehah... Menjaga maruah agama.
Begitu nekadnya dia, namun akhirnya sabarnya yang menggunung, kasih yang tulus buat Haziq terpaksa dipendamkan apabila Maisarah, bekas tunang Haziq muncul…
“Hajira... Saya sanggup bermadu dengan awak. Saya betul-betul sayangkan Haziq. - Maisarah
Rupa-rupanya, dialah punca hubungan Haziq dan Maisarah terkubur. Maisarah dengan rela hati memohon menjadi isteri kedua. Lalu … Saat fitnah itu terungkai, Hajira telah pergi dan tiada siapa tahu di mana dia berada. Saat itu barulah Haziq mengetahui bahawa Hajira ialah pengasas kepada Vila Kasih dan Teratak Kasih. Mana mungkin insan semulia itu ingin mengikis hartanya.
Mungkinkah hati merindui Dia saat hati hampa dan kecewa? Ke manakah Hajira bermuhasabah cintanya kepada Ilahi?
“Ops... Sorry, tak sengaja.”
“Awak ni kan… Memang sengaja nak langgar saya, kan? Saya tahulah saya ni handsome. Perempuan... memang macam tu la, nak dapatkan perhatian lelaki.”
“Eh, eh awak ni, saya dah minta maaf, kan? Awak handsome? Saya rasalah kan... kambing belakang rumah mak ngah saya lagi handsome kut. Dasar lelaki perasantan.”
Hajira juga mula kurang senang dengan Haziq. Asalnya dia bergaduh dengan Syafiq sahaja, tup-tup, Haziq juga masuk campur dengan tiba-tiba merenung dan menjeling dia tanda tak puas hati. Siapa yang tak sakit hati?
Atas niat jahat Syafiq yang berpaksikan dendam lama, rancangan rapi diatur. Dia mahu Hajira hidup sengsara bersama orang yang dia benci dan juga membencinya. Sasarannya… Haziq!
“Dia tu pantang sikit kalau jumpa orang kaya ni, lebih kurang macam perempuan pisau cukur.”– Syafiq
Kerana fitnah, dua manusia yang saling tidak menyukai itu disatukan. Maruah Hajira rabak saat tiada siapa pun mempercayainya. Haziq yang sedia diracuni dengan kata-kata Syafiq, langsung tidak memberi ruang kepada hatinya untuk mencintai Hajira. Otaknya seperti telah diprogram, Hajira hanya inginkan hartanya. Namun hatinya berkata… “Kalau Hajira tak seburuk yang disangkakan, pasti aku akan mencintainya sepenuh hati.”
Bagi Hajira pula, dia telah berjanji kepada diri yang dia akan cuba belajar mencintai Haziq walau tidak dihargai oleh Haziq. Dia mahu menjadi isteri yang solehah... Menjaga maruah agama.
Begitu nekadnya dia, namun akhirnya sabarnya yang menggunung, kasih yang tulus buat Haziq terpaksa dipendamkan apabila Maisarah, bekas tunang Haziq muncul…
“Hajira... Saya sanggup bermadu dengan awak. Saya betul-betul sayangkan Haziq. - Maisarah
Rupa-rupanya, dialah punca hubungan Haziq dan Maisarah terkubur. Maisarah dengan rela hati memohon menjadi isteri kedua. Lalu … Saat fitnah itu terungkai, Hajira telah pergi dan tiada siapa tahu di mana dia berada. Saat itu barulah Haziq mengetahui bahawa Hajira ialah pengasas kepada Vila Kasih dan Teratak Kasih. Mana mungkin insan semulia itu ingin mengikis hartanya.
Mungkinkah hati merindui Dia saat hati hampa dan kecewa? Ke manakah Hajira bermuhasabah cintanya kepada Ilahi?
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
January 16, 2016
not bad...
December 10, 2022
tw / cw: domestic abuse (mental / slight physical), marital rape / non consensual intercourse, blackmail / mental abuse
— this review contains spoiler—
I had a mixed feelings about the novella and its plot. I love really do love the entire premise, but some parts I genuinely wished were done different. But then, I tried to understand that the story was written over a decade ago, and clearly some things in the book did aged poorly within time (although I believe it was still isn't okay back in the days).
First foremost, I wished there are more books and story for the author as I honestly simply love the writing, writing style, the values, and the story told by the author. I was quite sad that this is her one and only book and I couldn't find much about the author herself.
Talking about the story, I'm loving the slice of life elements in the story, and how it was written in. Love the author's approach on writing about the side characters, and how well balanced each one of the story is towards the progression of the MCs' very own story. Really appreciate how each side characters, no matter how many of them, played a very major role on the story. They're done so so well and their relationship are also so wonderful that I could feel how genuine their feelings are to one another. Really love how each every of the sides were written.
I don't think I've ever read other novellas that really implemented and pushed religion aspects and is able to relate it wondrously throughout the story, I've read it before on Indonesian novella before, but not on local publications, I'm sure there are some of them out there, but this is my own very first. The dakwah and values in Islam that the author inserted onto the plot, and how relevant each one of it was really good. It wasn't forced at all, as the author showed it as a practice done by the characters, or it is based on what the characters has read before. Throughout my readings, I couldn't help but to think and reflected so much with such an open heart. Despite the entire drama and angering 'fitnah' which was part of the main theme of the story, surprisingly the book is extremely healing to read.
Ah, talking about the main theme, with fitnah centered on the plot, somehow I really don't mind it. Despite the non-stop fitnah and dugaan being thrown at the FL, the author did such a great job at making reader (me at the very least) feel more sympathise and think greatly of the FL, rather than focusing onto the crap ton of things that happened towards her. I did get angry, but it wasn't as angrying (?) due to how we were able to relate more onto the FL.
One more thing, I do appreciate how the author also gave out awareness of pusat jagaan and its story of the people at the place to the readers. That was really nice, as I had had worked with welfare before and personally had read so much about pusat jagaan and the people there. Love how the author actually had experience on running a center and is able to implement it onto her own story.
There are some inconsistencies of characteristics and personality from time to time, such as how Abang ngan acted towards Qasy at first meeting (he went way too far imo) and with how his actual personality really is. The same goes with Jira's personality, at first I thought she was going to be the quiet calm type yet is a tough person at the same time, then she suddenly made impulsive decisions, was randomly rude, and had poor thoughts about other people. Then moving forward onto the story, she actually IS what I initially thought she is? That was quite confusing.
Oh I don't really like Haziq until the end. He's just a-Ok. I couldn't see him repent much after everything that he did, and I wished he had suffered more and admitted that he wasn't much of a great husband, especially when everyone kept on saying Jira is beruntung to have such a kind husband, yet didn't say anything about it. I was so upset over it. I wished Jira's father actually know what he has done before and how awful he has treated her, bet he wouldn't say waaay too forced of that pujian.
Moving forward the bad things.
One thing that irks me very much is how uncontrollable the FL and her friends are when they're angry. Too much buruk sangka and mengutuk over a single conversation. These people are adults and their rants sometimes feel way too childish. And the part when Qasy were angry and brought up 'rogol' as a way to intimidate another person is so upsetting to me. The same when they got married, they suddenly made a joke out of 'rogol' again. It's was so unnecessary and insensitive in the first place imo.
I'm not sure if the inner dialogues are supposed to be relatable, but I really couldn't get into how they dramatically addressed the people they had problems with? 'mamat mangkuk' 'mamat belacan' 'mamat sewel' etc. I'm not the sanest person, but can these people calm down and istighfar for a moment? It became quite irritating overtime.
I'm not sure if I took it wrong, but this is from my perspective. I was genuinely upset that it feels like the novel is romanticising the non-con and made a light-hearted omelan in her thoughts out of it. ML felt bad over what he did, but the author tried to make it romantic by putting a change by the ML after the entire scenario. FL also sounded like she's in an absolute trauma, that wanted to choke the ML, and she also ran away from him due to it, but she suddenly is okay and is able to joke in her head after a day? Wish the issue is handled way better and the after effect (of a victim) from the said issue is taken even more seriously.
Again, I tried to be understanding that this is an older publication, but there are certain things that doesn't age well in the story, such as the colorist remark hinting that 'fairer skin' is prettier (when Jira introduces Dania to the reader), and the distasteful remark when Haziq said he's more handsome than 'Bengali jual karpet'. That one just screams racism / prejudices to me.
Nevertheless, despite the bad things, I would still like to recommend the book with the thoughts in mind that it was an old story and the world was different a decade ago. It's still such a beautifully written story through and through.
— this review contains spoiler—
I had a mixed feelings about the novella and its plot. I love really do love the entire premise, but some parts I genuinely wished were done different. But then, I tried to understand that the story was written over a decade ago, and clearly some things in the book did aged poorly within time (although I believe it was still isn't okay back in the days).
First foremost, I wished there are more books and story for the author as I honestly simply love the writing, writing style, the values, and the story told by the author. I was quite sad that this is her one and only book and I couldn't find much about the author herself.
Talking about the story, I'm loving the slice of life elements in the story, and how it was written in. Love the author's approach on writing about the side characters, and how well balanced each one of the story is towards the progression of the MCs' very own story. Really appreciate how each side characters, no matter how many of them, played a very major role on the story. They're done so so well and their relationship are also so wonderful that I could feel how genuine their feelings are to one another. Really love how each every of the sides were written.
I don't think I've ever read other novellas that really implemented and pushed religion aspects and is able to relate it wondrously throughout the story, I've read it before on Indonesian novella before, but not on local publications, I'm sure there are some of them out there, but this is my own very first. The dakwah and values in Islam that the author inserted onto the plot, and how relevant each one of it was really good. It wasn't forced at all, as the author showed it as a practice done by the characters, or it is based on what the characters has read before. Throughout my readings, I couldn't help but to think and reflected so much with such an open heart. Despite the entire drama and angering 'fitnah' which was part of the main theme of the story, surprisingly the book is extremely healing to read.
Ah, talking about the main theme, with fitnah centered on the plot, somehow I really don't mind it. Despite the non-stop fitnah and dugaan being thrown at the FL, the author did such a great job at making reader (me at the very least) feel more sympathise and think greatly of the FL, rather than focusing onto the crap ton of things that happened towards her. I did get angry, but it wasn't as angrying (?) due to how we were able to relate more onto the FL.
One more thing, I do appreciate how the author also gave out awareness of pusat jagaan and its story of the people at the place to the readers. That was really nice, as I had had worked with welfare before and personally had read so much about pusat jagaan and the people there. Love how the author actually had experience on running a center and is able to implement it onto her own story.
There are some inconsistencies of characteristics and personality from time to time, such as how Abang ngan acted towards Qasy at first meeting (he went way too far imo) and with how his actual personality really is. The same goes with Jira's personality, at first I thought she was going to be the quiet calm type yet is a tough person at the same time, then she suddenly made impulsive decisions, was randomly rude, and had poor thoughts about other people. Then moving forward onto the story, she actually IS what I initially thought she is? That was quite confusing.
Oh I don't really like Haziq until the end. He's just a-Ok. I couldn't see him repent much after everything that he did, and I wished he had suffered more and admitted that he wasn't much of a great husband, especially when everyone kept on saying Jira is beruntung to have such a kind husband, yet didn't say anything about it. I was so upset over it. I wished Jira's father actually know what he has done before and how awful he has treated her, bet he wouldn't say waaay too forced of that pujian.
Moving forward the bad things.
One thing that irks me very much is how uncontrollable the FL and her friends are when they're angry. Too much buruk sangka and mengutuk over a single conversation. These people are adults and their rants sometimes feel way too childish. And the part when Qasy were angry and brought up 'rogol' as a way to intimidate another person is so upsetting to me. The same when they got married, they suddenly made a joke out of 'rogol' again. It's was so unnecessary and insensitive in the first place imo.
I'm not sure if the inner dialogues are supposed to be relatable, but I really couldn't get into how they dramatically addressed the people they had problems with? 'mamat mangkuk' 'mamat belacan' 'mamat sewel' etc. I'm not the sanest person, but can these people calm down and istighfar for a moment? It became quite irritating overtime.
I'm not sure if I took it wrong, but this is from my perspective. I was genuinely upset that it feels like the novel is romanticising the non-con and made a light-hearted omelan in her thoughts out of it. ML felt bad over what he did, but the author tried to make it romantic by putting a change by the ML after the entire scenario. FL also sounded like she's in an absolute trauma, that wanted to choke the ML, and she also ran away from him due to it, but she suddenly is okay and is able to joke in her head after a day? Wish the issue is handled way better and the after effect (of a victim) from the said issue is taken even more seriously.
Again, I tried to be understanding that this is an older publication, but there are certain things that doesn't age well in the story, such as the colorist remark hinting that 'fairer skin' is prettier (when Jira introduces Dania to the reader), and the distasteful remark when Haziq said he's more handsome than 'Bengali jual karpet'. That one just screams racism / prejudices to me.
Nevertheless, despite the bad things, I would still like to recommend the book with the thoughts in mind that it was an old story and the world was different a decade ago. It's still such a beautifully written story through and through.
April 23, 2015
Pertama sekali peah nak ucap tahniah kepada penulis sebab berjaya mengeluarkan sebuah novel.Karya pertama ke?
Novel ni jalan ceritanya sangat biasa dan isunya selalu disentuh oleh penulis-penulis novel zaman sekarang.
Penulis juga berjaya memasukkan unsur2 islamik dan juga kemanusiaan yang mana bukan mudah untuk kita cari sekarang.
Seperti novel-novel yang lain, peah selalu sahaja nak 'condemn' watak lelaki yang kurang erm.. kepercayaan terhadap watak wanita.disebabkan itu disini dinyatakan beberapa persoalan yang seringkali bermain diminda peah.
1. adakah ini gambaran lelaki zaman sekarang ataupun hanya sekadar fantasi?
2. watak antagonis wanita selalu sahaja hadir dalam imej seksi.apakah wanita seksi sahaja yang selalu menganggu kebahagian orang lain?
Maaf,ya..Peah memang sangat2 nak tahu sebab kurangnya pendedahan terhadap real relationship.hence the weird questions. peace.
Novel ni jalan ceritanya sangat biasa dan isunya selalu disentuh oleh penulis-penulis novel zaman sekarang.
Penulis juga berjaya memasukkan unsur2 islamik dan juga kemanusiaan yang mana bukan mudah untuk kita cari sekarang.
Seperti novel-novel yang lain, peah selalu sahaja nak 'condemn' watak lelaki yang kurang erm.. kepercayaan terhadap watak wanita.disebabkan itu disini dinyatakan beberapa persoalan yang seringkali bermain diminda peah.
1. adakah ini gambaran lelaki zaman sekarang ataupun hanya sekadar fantasi?
2. watak antagonis wanita selalu sahaja hadir dalam imej seksi.apakah wanita seksi sahaja yang selalu menganggu kebahagian orang lain?
Maaf,ya..Peah memang sangat2 nak tahu sebab kurangnya pendedahan terhadap real relationship.hence the weird questions. peace.
August 16, 2014
Cerita yang biasa2 saja.But good try lah for the writer.
June 18, 2017
Sebelum tamat belajar lagi Hajira dah berjaya buka rumah orang-orang tua dengan bantuan seorang usahawan wanita. Sebaik tamat belajar, Hajira tubuhkan sebuah syarikat bersama rakan baiknya Qasy. Di samping itu, Hajira tubuhkan juga rumah anak yatim.
Rakan baik Hajira dan Qasy, Dania yang dipermainkan oleh Syafiq, mengundang amarah kedua gadis itu. Hajira nekad memberi amaran kepada lelaki itu walaupun dia tahu caranya tidak sopan.
Syafiq yang berdendam, merancang menjatuhkan maruah Hajira sekali dengan Haziq, rakan baiknya. Dan rancangan Syafiq berjaya ketika Hajira dan Haziq ditangkap khalwat.
Walaupun permulaan mereka tidak seperti orang lain, Hajira tetap mahu ia berjaya. Dia mahu jadi isteri yang taat pada suami. Dia mahu membuka pintu hatinya untuk suaminya.
Tapi mampukah Hajira kalau hidupnya masih dibayangi dendam Syafiq?
* * *
Agak sukar untuk saya warm up dengan Hajira. She's too headstrong. Sepatutnya Hajira abaikan saja kewujudan Syafiq.
Hajira merajuk dengan Haziq tapi berterusan memberi peluang kepadanya. Iya, ikatan pernikahan itu kuat. Tapi kenapa dipersoalkan ketika Dania memberi peluang tanpa henti pada Shafiq? Adakah kerana mereka tiada ikatan?
Sebagaimana Hajira, Qasy pun headstrong juga. Mungkin penulis nak kedua-dua watak ni cekal. Tapi kadang-kala seperti sedikit kurang ajar. Terutamanya masa Hajira buat andaian pada setiausaha Syafiq. And then watak cekal ni jadi lemau. Apa kes lari. Fight for your right. Husband ko kot. Apesal nak main pas-pas pula.
Kelainannya heroin berjaya menubuhkan rumah orang tua dan anak yatim. The rest is mediocre at its best.
Rakan baik Hajira dan Qasy, Dania yang dipermainkan oleh Syafiq, mengundang amarah kedua gadis itu. Hajira nekad memberi amaran kepada lelaki itu walaupun dia tahu caranya tidak sopan.
Syafiq yang berdendam, merancang menjatuhkan maruah Hajira sekali dengan Haziq, rakan baiknya. Dan rancangan Syafiq berjaya ketika Hajira dan Haziq ditangkap khalwat.
Walaupun permulaan mereka tidak seperti orang lain, Hajira tetap mahu ia berjaya. Dia mahu jadi isteri yang taat pada suami. Dia mahu membuka pintu hatinya untuk suaminya.
Tapi mampukah Hajira kalau hidupnya masih dibayangi dendam Syafiq?
* * *
Agak sukar untuk saya warm up dengan Hajira. She's too headstrong. Sepatutnya Hajira abaikan saja kewujudan Syafiq.
Hajira merajuk dengan Haziq tapi berterusan memberi peluang kepadanya. Iya, ikatan pernikahan itu kuat. Tapi kenapa dipersoalkan ketika Dania memberi peluang tanpa henti pada Shafiq? Adakah kerana mereka tiada ikatan?
Sebagaimana Hajira, Qasy pun headstrong juga. Mungkin penulis nak kedua-dua watak ni cekal. Tapi kadang-kala seperti sedikit kurang ajar. Terutamanya masa Hajira buat andaian pada setiausaha Syafiq. And then watak cekal ni jadi lemau. Apa kes lari. Fight for your right. Husband ko kot. Apesal nak main pas-pas pula.
Kelainannya heroin berjaya menubuhkan rumah orang tua dan anak yatim. The rest is mediocre at its best.
September 5, 2014
Ok laa....
August 31, 2014
Not bad, still ok to read. 3.5*
August 31, 2014
jumlah pending bukan berkurang. tapi bertambah.. erghh.. next!
April 21, 2015
Hrmmm.. Just nice.
Want to read
August 9, 2018Bacaan santai di PNM e-Reader.
Borrow from Perpustakaan Negara Malaysia Digital Library
Dialog/nukilan yang menarik...
Borrow from Perpustakaan Negara Malaysia Digital Library
Dialog/nukilan yang menarik...
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews