نشخوار رویاها: خاطرات یک تبعیدی سرکش

by Ariel Dorfman, بیتا ابراهیمی (Translator)

«به‌رغم وجود پینوشه، گاهی هم به‌خاطر وجود پینوشه، زندگی ادامه داشت.»

یازده سپتامبر برج بلند دموکراسی فروریخت. سپتامبر ۱۹۷۳ بود و آریل دورفمن، متحد جوان و چپ‌گرای رئیس‌جمهور آلنده، برای سومین بار در زندگی‌اش موطنش را از دست می‌داد. گروه مقاومت امر کرده بود که برای زنده‌ماندن و اسیرنشدن در سیاه‌چاله‌های ژنرال پینوشه شیلی را ترک کند.

نشخوار رؤیاها با صداقتی مثال‌زدنی مسیر پرتلاطم دوام‌آوردن یک مخالف سیاسی را بیرون از مرزهای موطنش روایت می‌کند؛ تلاش‌ برای روی آب ماندن، صدای اسیران شیلی شدن و نمایش‌دادن عواقب پیچیده‌ی انقلاب و ستمگری.

دورفمن در این کتاب با چیره‌دستی ما را به ژرفنای سفر رنج‌آور یک تبعیدی می‌برد و برای اولین بار پیامد‌های آوارگی ادیسه‌وارش را بازگو می‌کند و دریچه‌ای می‌گشاید به روی این‌که چطور می‌توان صدای مردمان خاموشی شد که گرفتار در چنگال بدسگالان روزگارند.

Genres: Memoir, Politics, Nonfiction, History, Biography, Biography Memoir

392 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Vladimiro Ariel Dorfman is an Argentine-Chilean novelist, playwright, essayist, academic, and human rights activist. A citizen of the United States since 2004, he has been a professor of literature and Latin American Studies at Duke University, in Durham, North Carolina since 1985.

Reviews

[Maziyar Yf · Rating 3 out of 5]

نشخوار رویا ها ، کتابی است از آریل دورفمن ، نویسنده و فعال سیاسی سرشناس . کتاب روایتی‌ست از خاطرات یک تبعیدی سرکش؛ نویسنده‌ای که در دل تاریکی دیکتاتوری پینوشه، تلاش می کند تا صدای مقاومت را زنده نگه ‌دارد و حافظه‌ی جمعی را از فراموشی نجات دهد . دورفمن ، نه‌تنها از گریز ناگزیر خود از وطن می‌گوید، بلکه از تبعید به‌عنوان تجربه‌ای هستی‌شناسانه سخن می‌گوید؛ تجربه‌ای که در آن، زبان بدل به وطن می‌شود، و رؤیا مکانی برای به یاد آوردن آن .
کتاب، اما سفری‌ست میان خاطره و فراموشی، میان خشم و آشتی و سکوت و فریاد. نویسنده از زخم‌های شخصی و سیاسی خود می گوید و نشان می‌دهد که چگونه می‌توان در دل شکست، معنی ساخت؛ و چگونه می‌توان از رؤیاهایی تحقق نیافته ، معنی و حقیقت بیرون کشید.
وطن های دورفمن :
آریل دورفمن نویسنده‌ای‌ست با چندین وطن و هر وطن، نه فقط یک جغرافیا، بلکه بخشی از هویت پاره‌پاره اوست.
او در بوئنوس آیرس، آرژانتین به دنیا آمد، اما خیلی زود همراه خانواده‌اش به ایالات متحده مهاجرت کرد؛. بعدها، در نوجوانی به شیلی رفت و آن‌جا را وطن انتخاب کرد ، جایی که آرمان‌های سیاسی‌اش را شکل داد. در دوران دولت سالوادور آلنده، مشاور فرهنگی رئیس‌جمهور شد، اما با کودتای پینوشه در سال ۱۹۷۳، بار دیگر وطنش را از دست داد و به تبعید رفت. اروپا، به‌ویژه پاریس و آمستردام، ایستگاه‌های موقت تبعید او بودند؛ در نهایت، آمریکا کشوری که با کمک به کودتا ، سبب تبعید او از شیلی شد ، دوباره به خانه‌ی دورفمن بدل شد . او سال‌ها در امریکا تدریس کرد، نوشت، و از خاطره‌ شیلی دفاع کرد.
زبان و وطن این گونه در آثار دورفمن از جمله این کتاب نمود یافته اند ، نه به‌عنوان مفاهیمی صرفاً جغرافیایی یا ارتباطی، بلکه به‌مثابه عناصر بنیادین هویت انسانی در تبعید. برای دورفمن، وطن چیزی فراتر از خاک و مرز است؛ وطن، حافظه‌ای‌ست که در زبان زنده می‌ماند. و زبان، نه فقط ابزار بیان، بلکه پناهگاه، سنگر، و گاه تنها چیزی است که از وطن می ماند. در نشخوار رویا ها زبان بدل به ابزاری برای مقاومت در برابر فراموشی شده. نویسنده با وسواس واژه‌ها را انتخاب می‌کند و خاطره‌ها را بازمی‌سازد . وطن، در این روایت، نه مکانی برای بازگشت، بلکه رؤیایی‌ست که باید پیوسته آن را مرور کرد تا فراموش نشود. و زبان، تنها راهی‌ست که می‌توان از طریق آن، آن رؤیا را زنده نگه داشت.

انگلیسی یا اسپانیایی ؟
در نشخوار رؤیاها، زبان نه‌تنها ابزار روایت، بلکه خودِ موضوع روایت است. آریل دورفمن، نویسنده‌ای دو‌زبانه، در این کتاب مدام میان زبان انگلیسی و اسپانیایی در نوسان است؛ دو زبانی که هر یک نماینده‌ی بخشی از هویت تبعیدی و چندلایه‌ی او هستند. انگلیسی، زبان تبعید، مهاجرت و مواجهه با قدرت جهانی‌ست؛ در حالی‌که اسپانیایی، زبان خاطره، مقاومت و پیوند با وطن ازدست‌رفته‌اش، شیلی.
این دوگانگی زبانی، صرفاً انتخابی ادبی نیست، بلکه شاید بازتابی‌ باشد از کشمکش درونی نویسنده میان گذشته و حال، میان آرمان و واقعیت. دورفمن در این کتاب، با نوشتن به انگلیسی، با تبعید خود مواجه می‌شود؛ و با بازگشت به اسپانیایی، به خاطرات و آرمان‌های سیاسی‌اش بر می گردد. در نهایت، نشخوار رؤیاها اثری‌ست که در مرز زبان‌ها شکل می‌گیرد؛ متنی که نشان می‌دهد وطن، برای تبعیدیان، نه‌فقط خاک، بلکه واژه است. و زبان، تنها خانه‌ای‌ست که هیچ دیکتاتوری نمی‌تواند ویرانش کند.

نه می بخشیم نه فراموش می کنیم یا می بخشیم اما فراموش نمی کنیم ؟؟
فلسفه‌ی آریل دورفمن در مواجهه با گذشته‌ی خشونت‌باررا باید چیزی بین این دو شعار دانست ، نه نبخشیدن و فراموش نکردن و نه بخشیدن و فراموش کردن ، بلکه نوعی آشتی مشروط با گذشته . او در کتاب، ، این پرسش اساسی را طرح می کند: چگونه می‌توان گذشته را زنده نگه داشت، بی‌آن‌که گرفتار آن شد؟
دورفمن با حساسیت به مرز باریک میان عدالت و انتقام نگریسته. او هشدار می‌دهد که نباید عدالت را با انتقام‌جویی اشتباه گرفت؛ اما در عین حال، بر این باور است که فراموشیِ گذشته هم ، زمینه‌ساز تکرار خشونت و سرکوب است. در دوره‌ گذار شیلی از دیکتاتوری به دموکراسی، دورفمن با حیرت نظاره‌گر هم‌زیستی قربانیان با شکنجه‌گران سابق بود ، بی‌آن‌که حقیقتی گفته شود یا مسئولیتی پذیرفته شود. او به‌جای دعوت به انتقام، خواهان فرآیندی‌ست که در آن حقیقت آشکار شود، حافظه‌ی جمعی ثبت گردد، و عدالت ترمیمی جایگزین خاموشی تحمیل‌شده شود. بنابراین فلسفه دورفمن شاید این باشد : فراموش نمی‌کنیم. اما شاید بتوانیم ببخشیم ، اگر حقیقت گفته شود، اگر عدالت برقرار گردد، و اگر رنج، به رسمیت شناخته شود.
در پایان، نشخوار رؤیاها خواننده را به اندیشیدن مجدد در مفهوم وطن، عدالت، و بخشش فرا می خواند . دورفمن این حقیقت را یاد آور می شود که رؤیاهاحتی اگر هرگز تحقق نیابند ، می‌توانند خوراکی باشند برای زیستن، برای نوشتن و برای مقاومت ؛ زیرا آن‌چه انسان را زنده نگه می‌دارد، نه صرفاً واقعیت‌های بیرونی، بلکه خاطره‌ و آرمان‌هایی‌ست که در دل او ریشه دارند.

[Ebtihal Salman · Rating 5 out of 5]

2016:

على الأرجح أن أرييل دورفمان هو مواطن عالمي. ولد في الارجنتين، نشأ في الولايات المتحدة الامريكية في السنوات الاولى من طفولته وشب في تشيلي التي اعتبرها وطنه، عاش تحولها قصير العمر للديموقراطية وعمل مع رئيسها المنتخب سلفادور الليندي قبل ان يطيح به انقلاب عسكري جر تشيلي الى الديكتاتورية عشرين عاما تقريبا منذ 1973 واخذ دورفمان في رحلة تطواف ما يقرب عشرين عاما من التشرد والهجرة والتنقل من منفى الى آخر بين ثلاث قارات: الامريكيتين واوروبا.

ربما يختار دورفمان ان يكتب مذكراته في هذا الكتاب المؤثر والعميق، بالطريقة الاصعب، الطريقة التي تفتح الجروح وتفتحها مرة بعد مرة وتجدد الألم، فقد كتبها بفصول (المغادرة) و(الإياب)، وهما اكثر حدثين اختبرهما دورفمان في كل مرة كان عليه ان يغادر هذا البلد أو ذاك، لكن بالتحديد، هما الحدثين الذين اختبرهما بالنسبة لتشيلي ذاتها اكثر من مرة، اذ في سنوات المنفى الطويلة وبعدها مر بتجربة العودة الى تشيلي والرحيل والعودة والرحيل، في رحلة عذاب/ضياع بحثا عن بلد عرفه ذات مرة.

يذهب دورفمان في التفاصيل، في العمق، يسجل كل شيء، عن طفولته وتردده بين لغتين، الاسبانية الاصلية والانكليزية المكتسبة، عن ايام تشيلي الفرحة بالديموقراطية الوليدة، عن الرعب ما بعد الانقلاب وتحت سنوات الديكتاتورية، عن ألم المنفى والهجرة، كيف تبدو باريس عاصمة الفن والجمال أبشع مكان لمهاجر لاتيني لا يتقن اللغة، مشردا ومهانا في القطارات لا يحمل ثمن تذكرة، وعن شقق متاحة لإقامة دائمة للقطط لكن الاقامة تظل حلما بعيدا لمهاجر، عن الصراع في داخله بين الكاتب والمناضل السياسي، عن رعب رفع سماعة الهاتف للرد على اتصال قادم من تشيلي قد يكون يحمل خبرا سيئا من البلد التي لم يعد لها طابع سوى اختفاء الأحبة، التعذيب والقتل الوحشي. يكتبها سنوات الهجرة كلها بتفاصيل الحنين الى وطن، الحنين الى بيته ولغته وكتبه، وعن وحشة صالة المطار حين يكون ما يفصله عن احبته جدار زجاج وختم في الجواز لا يستطيع الحصول عليه، والكثير الكثير من التفاصيل التي لا تتركني سليمة من آثارها.

لقد بدأت قراءة هذه المذكرات في 2013، وكنت قد قرأت مقاطع منها في 2011، ولكني لم أدرك لأي درجة يتقاطع ذلك الرعب مع واقعنا المعاش حتى بدأت قراءة هذه المذكرات. وفي مرات كثيرة حين كانت اخبار المنفيين من بلدي تصلني من الخارج كنت أفكر في كل التفاصيل الموجعة التي تكلم عنها دورفمان.

وعلى الأرجح اني قرأتها بدافع استمداد أمل لم يمنحني منه الكثير. انها تجربة غنية جدا ولكني لم اكتشف الا مع الفصول الاخيرة ضعف الأمل في أن تنتهي رحلة بائسة بنهاية سعيدة. لقد سقطت ديكتاتورية بينوشيه، لكن دورفمان حين عاد لم يجد تشيلي التي حلم بها طوال سنوات منفاه. لقد فُقدت تلك البلاد الجميلة للأبد.





2011:
I've read an essay that is based on this book on the following link and immediately fall in love with this author! I will find the book and read it.

http://chronicle.com/article/My-Lost-...

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are considering reading this book, an excellent short introduction or taster is provided by this article (link provided by another Goodreads reviewer): http://chronicle.com/article/My-Lost-...

In the article Dorfman tells the story of his lost library, a vignette of his bigger story of his lost friends, his lost places, his lost country... all the places and people he was forced into separation from when he had to go into exile from Chile after the coup of September 11, 1973. This is far from a history of the coup. I've read many books about Allende and Pinochet, and I'm looking forward to reading Guardiola-Rivera's recent 'Story of a Death Foretold'. If you are unfamiliar with what happened (even if you never saw the film 'Missing'), it's best to go elsewhere before tackling Dorfman's very personal story which (as he admits at the beginning) leaps around chronologically because it follows his emotions rather than the actual sequence of events.

It is indeed a very honest and revealing book. Dorfman recounts how his emotions unravelled and mutated, from the aftermath of his initial exile, to his experiences in trying to maintain the political pressure on Pinochet from a distance, to his responses to the news of the latest horrors occurring in Chile (often to his friends), and to his various attempts at resettlement and then his attempts at return.

The book makes tantalising references to other writers - for example, to many writers of 'el Boom' in Latin America, such as Cortazar and Garcia Marquez. Most of them are just mentioned in passing, but there is a slightly longer description of his encounter with Gunter Grass and the latter's annoyance that Dorfman wouldn't condemn the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia. It's part of Dorfman's honesty that he takes us not only on an emotional and geographical journey, but also a political one, as he explains how his own political views, shaped in the enthusiasm and conviction of the Allende years in Chile, have since evolved.

We can be glad that, though this has indeed happened, Ariel Dorfman - unlike some other Latin American writers whose youth was spent opposing dictatorships - remained true to the cause of a more just and equal world.

[jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

it was a tuesday in september (the 11th, 1973), on the cusp of spring, that the life of ariel dorfman was inexorably changed forever. on that day, with millions of his fellow chileans, dorfman bore witness to the coup that violently deposed democratically-elected president salvador allende. dorfman, to that point serving as one of allende's cultural advisors, was forced into exile as army general augusto pinochet began his oppressive dictatorial reign.

feeding on dreams: confessions of an unrepentant exile is a candid and powerful memoir of dorfman's years in exile. dorfman, novelist, poet, playwright, and human rights advocate, has previously written an autobiographical work, heading south, looking north: a bilingual journey, yet feeding on dreams focuses mainly on his life as a political exile. a 2007 documentary about his return to chile, a promise to the dead, was based on his first memoir and subsequently led to the writing of this new one.

whether stage drama, poem, essay, short story, or full-length novel, dorfman's works are always characterized by an unflinching regard for verity, exploration of both the immediate and lasting effects of political repression and violence, and an alluring, engaging prose that often shines all the more magnificently in contrast to the darkness his writing attempts to resolve. feeding on dreams, deriving its title from a line in aeschylus' agamemnon, recounts dorfman's fleeing from chile to argentina (his country of birth) to france to holland and finally to the united states (where he has now lived from some thirty years). the challenges of a political exile are many and dorfman's own were compounded by being both husband and father as well as an artist struggling to develop his craft.

feeding on dreams is an emotional book, as dorfman lays bare, in turn, his anger, frustration, regret, and self-criticism, yet also his perennial hope, longing, faith, determination and passion. even amidst the (then ongoing) horrors and crimes perpetrated by pinochet and his regime (many of which led to the detention, torture, disappearance and murder of thousands of his fellow chileans), dorfman inexplicably retained an emotional vivacity:

despite a dark side to my psyche, a certainty since childhood that everything is unreal and doomed to extinction, despite the sick conviction that i will be made to pay for each banquet and interlude of love, the core of my personality has always been jubilant. bubbling over with a zeal for life and pleasure, an almost infantile and infectious optimismo, i rise each morning to the adventure and marvel of the day, an inveterate insomniac because i've never wanted to miss what the next instant might bring. and holland was allowing me to entertain the possibility that i might filch moments of delight even from a world made by pinochet, that not only a vale of tears lay before us.

while ariel dorfman's tale may share similarities to many others across time and international boundary, the splendor of this work (as well as his many others) lies in the relative accessibility of his writing. he allows us a glimpse into a world thankfully foreign to most human beings today, yet through his unreserved and candid prose he effortlessly solicits empathy not for himself, but rather for anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves confronted by catastrophe, atrocity, and indifference. his attempts to close the wounds that have shaped and directed his life for nearly four decades are admirable, and regardless of whether they succeed in doing so for him, his refusal to forgo forgetting draws each of us closer in an increasingly hyper-connected world.

writing this book has been my therapy, mi última palabra, my last word on how my life turned out. these pages are my attempt to look back so i can stop looking back, finally lay to rest, in a burial made of words, a past that needs a decent funeral so something sad in me can sleep in peace.

ariel dorfman is a gifted and accomplished writer, one whose international renown seems to have grown steadily over the decades. feeding on dreams is a deeply personal work that, like all great writing, offers something poignant and compelling to nearly every conceivable reader. dorfman's fortitude and lifelong commitment to combating human rights abuses across the globe are enviable enough, but that he can meaningfully convey through stories the lasting consequences of these pervasive injustices perhaps bodes better for a world in which such stories are, one day, relegated entirely to the realm of fiction.

[Malihe63 · Rating 5 out of 5]

واقعا کتاب جذابی بود حس های قابل لمسی داشت از اون دسته کتابها که لذت خوندنش تا روزها همراهت هست

[Eshraq]

۱۳ آبان ۱۴۰۴ در جلسه کتابخوانی که تو کتابفروشی محبوبم برگزار میشه درباره‌ش مفصل حرف زدیم.

تجربه خوندنش من رو واداشت که بصورت جدی برم سراغ وقایع شیلی و آمریکای لاتین دوران جنگ سرد.
بنظرم میرسه که این کتاب بسیار مناسب ما ایرانی‌ها در شرایط فعلیه چه مهاجرت کرده باشیم چه مونده باشیم. با اینکه هنوز به تبعید ازش یاد نمی‌کنیم.

ترجمه‌ی خیلی خوبی داره و «نشخوار رویا» شاید دقیقا همون چیزیه که ما هم درگیرشیم. نشخوار رویا نشخوار گذشته‌س. نویسنده رویای آلنده‌ی کشته نشده رو همیشه تو ذهنش داره و این رو به خانواده‌اش هم تحمیل می‌کنه. و تحمیل این مسیر دردناک بلای ایدیولوژیه.
بنظرم دورفمن دیدگاه تعدیل شده‌ی امروزش رو بیشتر از هر چیزی مدیون همسر و فرزندانشه. وگرنه شاعرانگی که باهاش رویاش و گذشته شیلی رو نشخوار می‌کرده معلوم نبود تا کجا میکشوندتش.

و اما زبان
زبان موضوع بسیار مهمیه تو این کتاب. نوع مواجه نویسنده با هر زبان متفاوته، زبان تبعید با زبان وطن فرق می‌کنه همون‌طور که تبعیدی انسان متفاوتیه.
دورفمن از ناتوانیش برای نوشتن میگه و عدم تمایلش در به کار گیری زبان تبعید. اما همین کتاب رو به انگلیسی می‌نویسه, مقاله‌ی تایمز رو هم همینطور و شهروند همون تبعیدگاه میشه.

گویا حقیقتا «زبان خانه‌ی هستی است و آدمی در این وادی ایمن موطن می‌گزیند».

[Peggy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dorfman writes a memoir of exile, having left the United States as a boy due to McCarthyism, and then leaving Chile in 1973 after the coup. He and his family endure difficult years of uprootedness, moving from Buenos Aires to Paris to Amsterdam to Washington, D.C., while he works short-term contracts and lives in unreliable, insecure housing. Eventually, Dorfman finds a position at Duke University that allows him to live part-time in Chile.

Dorfman's style is rich and discursive: poetic, intense, heartfelt, and ruminative. He writes as if the reader has all the time in the world to share with him (I was willing to give him that). He interrogates everything about his experiences, he speaks to his younger self, chastises himself--Ariel--and justifies certain actions taken, such as the time he commiserated with a woman mourning Pinochet's death by telling her how saddened he and his comrades were when Allende died. The entire book really brings us to this point, when Dorfman connects with another human being instead of seeing her solely as a political identity in conflict with his. Exile has broadened his point of view: though he still loves Chile and his friends and family there, his life is now global.

Dorfman is famous in my intellectual world. I have read a few of his articles over the past few decades, but this is my first book of his. His body of work seems to be centered on the tragedy of the coup and its human rights abuses. I am interested; he writes beautifully and I am curious now about his poetry and novels. I also appreciate the love and appreciation he offers Deena Metzger at the end of this memoir, which reminds me that I may find joy and strength by immersing myself in her work.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Ariel Dorfman’s memoir Feeding on Dreams: Confessions of an Unrepentant Exile
in 2019 with a specific purpose in mind---to wrap my head around the Allende/Pinochet years in Chile. I visited there in 2018 as a questing tourist, where I partook the popular walking tours of Santiago and Valparaiso. The student-led tours were fascinating and fun, combining the history and popular culture of the cities. During our tour of Valparaiso, we climbed a hill to a former prison that has been transformed into a cultural center. As our guide lamented about the terrible Pinochet years, a Chilean couple who had emigrated to the US politely challenged the guide’s talking points. A strained but persistent argument ensued, adding a shock of authenticity to the tour, to say the least. I felt so ill at ease during their tit-for-tat, all I could think of was “Pisco Sour Time!”

My trip to Chile lasted two weeks, but wrapping my head around it continues now that I'm back home. Thank heaven for writers like Ariel Dorfman whose well-told life story illuminates the moral dilemmas of Chile. His emotional and poetic rendition of the Big Stuff and the Little Stuff helps the readers internalize the complexity that is Chile, the irony that is humanity, the truth beneath the binary, and the definition of home. I recommend Feeding on Dreams for anyone who has questioned as I have.

[Rick Elinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a crazy, fantastic, thought-provoking, jumbled mash of a memoir! Dorfman jumps between Santiago Chile, Argentina, Paris, Amsterdam, Washington DC, and Durham NC, and the years 1973, 1980, 1983, 1990, and 2006, all of this in an order hard to parse. Dorfman is such a compelling writer that he holds the reader even as he flits through ideas, philosophies, time and place. There is so much here.

Dorfman himself is part of a three generational left-wing, activist lineage from Russia to Argentina to the United States to Chile. He spoke English in the United States as a child, but then had his formative years speaking Spanish in Chile. He was a young man, close to Allende, when Allende was murdered and Pinochet ruled Chile for the next three decades, while Dorfman was in exile.

There is so much to think about here. The main theme is whether bitter enemies can reconcile. This theme is encapsulated by Dorfman in a theater listening to Beethoven and realizing that seated near him, also enjoying Beethoven, was one of the principal architects of Pinochet's reign of terror with its kidnappings, murders, tortures, and disappearances. How can these diametrically opposed people both appreciate the beauty of Beethoven? This theme is also the core of Dorfman's famous play, "Death and the Maiden".

[Theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I love about this book is Dorfman's introspection. He is an exiled Chilean leftist activist who could easily simply espouse the communist party line, but he doesn't. He has not succumbed to the liberal side either. He has used his experiences of being fearful of being killed for his beliefs and actions, his life as an exile in several countries unable to go home, his imagination as an artist trying to make sense of his revolution to give me hope and inspiration. He understands that the role of an intellectual is to try to make sense of the complex without making it simple-minded. He faces many truths about himself that few people even try to do. This book is especially significant in these times because it addresses, among other things, how to live side-by-side with people whose political ideas repulse you and harm those you love. He doesn't give answers but he sure made me think about how to frame the questions.

[Rachel Bertrand · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this much more than I found I was able to. Dorfman has many very powerful sentences, but he dilutes his writing with long, flowery descriptions of mundane activities, and retools themes until they're tired and ineffective.

That being said, some portions are truly remarkable, and his story, as well as his longing for and complicated relationship with what he considers his home country, is absolutely relatable and fascinating to step into.

[Giovanni García-Fenech · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'll forgive Dorfman the cliched expressions and the bits of purple prose because he's led an admirable life yet he's not afraid to show himself at his most embarrassing (e.g. the story involving Sting). Fascinating reading.

[Maryam Shakiba · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too much romanticizing of past ...

[Clivemichael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moving journey towards maturity and wisdom.

[Stephen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ariel Dorfman's dissection of exile doubles as a portrait in unrequited love.

In "Feeding on Dreams," the Chilean playwright, novelist, and essayist -- exiled voice of the anti-Pinochet resistance throughout the 1980s and '90s -- blows long on the strange forces that subvert the expatriate's efforts to reconstruct a life.

But "Feeding on Dreams" is also a story of rejection. The Chile of revolutionary struggle and progressive experimentation Dorfman was forced to flee is gone once the dictatorship is lifted and he returns.

His adopted country's embrace of neo-liberal policies during the author's 20 years in the hinterlands changed Chile for good, structurally and spiritually. We learn from this account that the literal massacre of the left opposition is an act with permanent ramifications.

As Dorfman worked abroad to keep the dead and deposed president Salvador Allende's ideas alive, while exposing the Pinochet dictatorship's chronic addiction to murder, the country had moved on.

Written over a backdrop of big history, a U.S.-backed coup and narrow escape into exile, "Feeding on Dreams" is really a tale of subtler things. Dorfman lost a country and status and he writes of the slights and adjustments endured.

Trying to shield their children from the fear of capture or murder beclouding their lives, mother and father eventually learn they have done nothing of the kind. That they live in danger, insecurity, and their children are fully affected by them.

Dorfman is something of a relic: the engaged leftist intellectual who uses his art to further the working class cause, while actively pursuing goals in the political arena. They just don't make them like this anymore.

His time is one when the world was split into two large camps represented, more or less, by their choice of economic religion. Dorfman's crowd was typical of the post-war left, rainbow in aspect, but driven by communist discipline, numbers and money.

He survives exile thanks to the assistance of countless solidarity groups spawned by the socialist and communist parties around the world. Their tenacity and commitment are noteworthy and detailed.

The good and the bad.

Residing in Holland thanks to assistance from some local and left-wing outfit, the author runs afoul of a good friend and ally through some strange misappropriation of money he was given.

The help was firm, but the qualifying criteria stringent.

Dorfman made two returns to Chile, once during the dictatorship and then post-Pinochet. Neither went well. There was a nagging guilt at having escaped what became a rather expansive concentration camp. There is the change in once-idealistic allies' more cynical view of politics and its purposes.

Having not lived the fear, Dorfman stakes his claim to a rightful place in the Chilean intelligentsia by writing a play that gets up everybody's noses. Those who have lived the horror have agreed to not talk about the horror, to try and leave it behind.

Dorfman's play, successful in other places, fails miserably in Chile. They are not ready for his in-depth accusatory. He has no constituency there and ends up in North Carolina.

The author is humble, bemused, and possessing of aplomb throughout this difficult account of a man slipping, stubbing, and stumbling across the planet. He is frank about his self-assessment when it came to marketing his writings on Chile to the top newspapers in the U.S. and aware the value his personal tragedy gave that work.

He is a writer and given to metaphorical flight. Be prepared to know that a stick of a tree growing somewhere in Santiago actually signifies exile and return, a long-ago friend who has held the flame of continuity even as the spurned son floundered on foreign shores...

But we jest. The literary insight to the things Dorfman has seen open up broader vistas, engage the spiritual as much as the factual.

He writes lovingly of the place and longingly for the politics of solidarity that put him at the maelstrom of Chilean history. His pain is clear, because he confronts it in this book.

[Candace Mac · Rating 3 out of 5]

What an interesting life Ariel Dorfman has had, a leftist that always seems to land in a country just prior to its 'hard right turn'. Truly living by your principles is a claim few can make, very few will really risk it all for a cause, but Dorfman is that rare bird. While his adult story begins in Chile, his family's story of exile reaches back to Peron in Argentina, then surviving the McCarthy era politics of the U.S. and finally formulating his own political positions by supporting the duly elected Allende in Chile. While I had some minor understanding of the Allende/Pinochet struggle, the in depth first hand account of those brutal times was very informative. Dorfman seems to struggle his entire life with his love of Chile and the United States juxtaposed with his need for a safe, inviting and intellectually stimulating environment.

Unfamiliar words:
pg. 8 plebisite-the direct vote of all the members of an electorate on an important public question such as a change in the constitution.
pg. 9 crepusular-of, resembling, or relating to twilight
pg. 16 penury-extreme poverty; destitution
pg. 22 cordillera-a system or group of parallel mountain ranges together with the intervening plateaus and other features, especially in the Andes or the Rockies.
pg. 22 eficaz- effective (Spanish)
pg. 24 jeremiad- a long, mournful complaint or lamentation; a list of woes.
pg. 40 edulcorate- make (something) more acceptable or palatable.
pg. 44 califont- a gas water heater
pg. 56 pernurious-Extremely poor; poverty-stricken
pg. 63 transmogrified-transform, especially in a surprising or magical manner
pg. 84 treacly-resembling treacle in consistency, taste, or appearance
pg. 110 doggerel-comic verse composed in irregular rhythm.
pg. 110 elucidated-make (something) clear; explain.
pg. 115 perfidious- deceitfis the capability of a magician or a saint to work magic or miracles. ul and untrustworthy
pg. 120 thaumaturgical-is the capability of a magician or a saint to work magic or miracles.
pg. 169 abjured-solemnly renounce (a belief, cause, or claim)
pg. 170 sagacity-the quality of being sagacious
pg. 188 maquisard-a member of the Maquis.
pg. 196 cudgeled-beat with a cudgel.(club)
pg. 196 belie-(of an appearance) fail to give a true notion or impression of (something); disguise or contradic
pg. 198 ribald-referring to sexual matters in an amusingly rude or irreverent way
pg. 198 deracinated-another term for déraciné (uprooted or displaced from one's geographical or social environment.)
pg. 230 sclerotic-grown rigid or unresponsive especially with age : unable or reluctant to adapt or compromise
pg. 253 pillorying-attack or ridicule publicly.
pg. 262 grise-to shudder with fear
pg. 274 harridan-a strict, bossy, or belligerent old woman
pg. 288 phantasmagric-having a fantastic or deceptive appearance, as something in a dream or created by the imagination.
pg. 295 imprecation-a spoken curse.
pg. 298 simulacrum-an image or representation of someone or something.
pg. 304 vizier-a high official in some Muslim countries, especially in Turkey under Ottoman rule.
pg. 307 deracination-uproot

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ariel Dorfman is of the third generation in his father's family to live a life of exile. His grandparents fled Russia and Eastern Europe at the dawn of WWI for Argentina. His father eventually came to the US where, as a McCarthy era target, he fled to Chile. Ariel who was fully immersed in English and American culture was 12 at the time, but as he grew more in Chile he embraced the country. He supported Salvador Allende and worked for his government which meant exile for him in 1973. This book is a story of the events, emotions and insights of an exile - thoughts on the cause, the grief, art, activism, healing/forgiveness, "survivors' guilt" and guilt for exile's impact on the family.

It seems that several lifetimes of experience pour out from these pages. There are so many aspects to fleeing a country with the need for food, shelter and a legitimate passport being the basic. Then there are the ever present emotional needs for roots and belonging for self and family. Dorfman explains how he managed to keep his family afloat, assisted by other activists and artists. Security, other than a return to his parents (which was possible), was elusive in the early years of exile.

Going back to Chile brings up emotions. He cannot enjoy a symphony with someone responsible for the deaths/torture of so many sitting inches away. He connects with the woman who saved his life who dared not tell her rightist family until she was near death. After more than 10 years of democracy, he finds the once expressive Chileans to still be too wary to venture opinions either verbally or through facial expression. Old friends and colleagues are not all embracing. His presence, his art, his being disturbs the lives, both physical and emotional, that old friends and colleagues in Chile have managed to build.

When I finished the book, I did an internet search to learn more about this author. This book not only has a web site (as many do) it also has a trailer (I've never seen one for a book). If you read this book, do check the trailer. You see the library and the coat and experience Dorfman's English with not just correct grammar, pronunciation and intonation, also full fluency and idiomatic expression in a way that makes Ariel Dorfman a rare South American exile.

Sometimes, the beauty of the prose makes the work heavy. The 1990 diaries seem to have been selectively edited and also seem to be wedged in. Despite the issues of style, there is a lot in this work that is of interest on the life of political exiles and how a country heals after a military coup or civil war.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most important modern Chilean writers recalls his years of exile during the dictatorship of Pinochet. Part memoir, part political tract and part meditation on the nature of exile, Dorfman relates a wrenching exposition of his life on the edge in exile, the effect of it on his family and his ultimate decision to remain in the US even after the fall of the dictatorship.

[Lauren Hakimi]

It was a dense read, but worth it. The introspection is really impressive and the reflections on exile and history are very profound. The memoir is written beautifully from beginning to end. Each sentence is something to savor!