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Removing the Sting of Death: Experience New Depths of God's Presence in Times of Pain, Grief and Loss
What if Your Loss Could Spark a Divine Breakthrough?
When prayers seem to go unanswered, when the miracle you want is nowhere to be found, when the pain of loss sears your soul, how will you respond?
For months, thousands around the globe prayed for a miraculous healing for Beni, beloved wife of pastor Bill Johnson, that never came. At Bethel Church, a global outpost of revival known for its signs and wonders, her passing thundered through the community like an avalanche in the valley.
Yet in the days following her homegoing, Pastor Bill delivered one of the most powerful, vulnerable, Holy Spirit-inspired sermons from that valley floor, offering courage, peace, and hope for anyone facing overwhelming loss and grief.
In this powerful new book based on that watershed sermon, Bill draws from scripture and his own experience of deep personal loss, teaching you how to process your pain with God and experience new dimensions of His presence available in times of suffering.
With raw honesty and compassion born from lifting hands in praise amidst tears of grief, Bill empowers you to:
Run toward God’s presence instead of away from Him.
Grieve with heavenly hope.
Rediscover the simplicity of faith that trusts Him no matter what.
Surrender your disappointment, pain, and questions to God.
Receive a vision for the other side of your mourning.
Embrace the mystery as much as the miracle.
Sometimes the most priceless gifts you can give God are only found in the valley: joy in loss, celebration in pain. Even as the darkness of the soul seems complete, choose this day to draw near to Him and experience aspects of His presence you can only find this side of heaven.
When prayers seem to go unanswered, when the miracle you want is nowhere to be found, when the pain of loss sears your soul, how will you respond?
For months, thousands around the globe prayed for a miraculous healing for Beni, beloved wife of pastor Bill Johnson, that never came. At Bethel Church, a global outpost of revival known for its signs and wonders, her passing thundered through the community like an avalanche in the valley.
Yet in the days following her homegoing, Pastor Bill delivered one of the most powerful, vulnerable, Holy Spirit-inspired sermons from that valley floor, offering courage, peace, and hope for anyone facing overwhelming loss and grief.
In this powerful new book based on that watershed sermon, Bill draws from scripture and his own experience of deep personal loss, teaching you how to process your pain with God and experience new dimensions of His presence available in times of suffering.
With raw honesty and compassion born from lifting hands in praise amidst tears of grief, Bill empowers you to:
Run toward God’s presence instead of away from Him.
Grieve with heavenly hope.
Rediscover the simplicity of faith that trusts Him no matter what.
Surrender your disappointment, pain, and questions to God.
Receive a vision for the other side of your mourning.
Embrace the mystery as much as the miracle.
Sometimes the most priceless gifts you can give God are only found in the valley: joy in loss, celebration in pain. Even as the darkness of the soul seems complete, choose this day to draw near to Him and experience aspects of His presence you can only find this side of heaven.
178 pages, Paperback
Published June 26, 2025
About the author
Bill Johnson
768 books540 followersBill Johnson and his wife Brenda (Beni) Johnson are the Senior Pastors of Bethel Church in Redding, California. Johnson is a fifth generation pastor.
Johnson was born in Minnesota in 1951 and became a Christian as a young child. Soon after, Johnson read seven books on prayer, which significantly affected his perspective and subsequent ministry.
Bill Johnson and his wife have three children: Eric, Brian and Leah.
Johnson speaking at a conference
Bill Johnson and Beni (Brenda) began as singles pastors under his father at Bethel. In 1979, they became senior pastors of Mountain Chapel in Weaverville, California.
While pastoring in Weaverville, Johnson attended a 1987 conference led by John Wimber, founder of the Vineyard Church Movement. According to Johnson "A number of healings and manifestations broke out and I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't object to it, I wasn't opposed to it; I just didn't know how to pastor it in a way that it would continue and increase".
In 1995, Johnson attended the Toronto Blessing revival at the Toronto Airport Vineyard church. Johnson relates: "In Toronto I said, 'Lord, if You touch me again I will never change the subject.' So I went up for prayer every time it was offered. I didn't have anything dramatic happen, but I came home and said, 'I am going to give the rest of my life to this.'"
In February 1996, after 17 years of leading the Weaverville church, the Johnsons were invited to become senior pastors of Bethel. Today Johnson describes Bethel as a church where "everything we do either fuels revival or is fueled by revival." Under his leadership, Bethel left the Assemblies of God in 2006 to become a nondenominational charismatic church.
According to a recent book written by Johnson, "Face to Face with God", Bethel is "a church where supernatural encounters with God happen regularly, miracles are common, and the congregation has an infectious passion for spiritual growth." The church has approximately 1,500 members, and a School of Supernatural Ministry.
Their Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry has 1,200 students enrolled with over 370 from other countries. Johnson leads a network of churches dedicated to global, multi-generational revival, Global Legacy. Johnson has written a number of books and travels extensively as a featured revival conference speaker. Johnson is also involved with the Northern California Revival Fellowship, a group of north Californian pastors committed to revival.
Source: Wikipedia
Johnson was born in Minnesota in 1951 and became a Christian as a young child. Soon after, Johnson read seven books on prayer, which significantly affected his perspective and subsequent ministry.
Bill Johnson and his wife have three children: Eric, Brian and Leah.
Johnson speaking at a conference
Bill Johnson and Beni (Brenda) began as singles pastors under his father at Bethel. In 1979, they became senior pastors of Mountain Chapel in Weaverville, California.
While pastoring in Weaverville, Johnson attended a 1987 conference led by John Wimber, founder of the Vineyard Church Movement. According to Johnson "A number of healings and manifestations broke out and I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't object to it, I wasn't opposed to it; I just didn't know how to pastor it in a way that it would continue and increase".
In 1995, Johnson attended the Toronto Blessing revival at the Toronto Airport Vineyard church. Johnson relates: "In Toronto I said, 'Lord, if You touch me again I will never change the subject.' So I went up for prayer every time it was offered. I didn't have anything dramatic happen, but I came home and said, 'I am going to give the rest of my life to this.'"
In February 1996, after 17 years of leading the Weaverville church, the Johnsons were invited to become senior pastors of Bethel. Today Johnson describes Bethel as a church where "everything we do either fuels revival or is fueled by revival." Under his leadership, Bethel left the Assemblies of God in 2006 to become a nondenominational charismatic church.
According to a recent book written by Johnson, "Face to Face with God", Bethel is "a church where supernatural encounters with God happen regularly, miracles are common, and the congregation has an infectious passion for spiritual growth." The church has approximately 1,500 members, and a School of Supernatural Ministry.
Their Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry has 1,200 students enrolled with over 370 from other countries. Johnson leads a network of churches dedicated to global, multi-generational revival, Global Legacy. Johnson has written a number of books and travels extensively as a featured revival conference speaker. Johnson is also involved with the Northern California Revival Fellowship, a group of north Californian pastors committed to revival.
Source: Wikipedia
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
March 30, 2026
This book came highly recommended. It has been a balm to my soul. My husband just died only a few weeks ago and I appreciated the ministry of faith and reminder to allow God’s presence fill my heart. Staying close to God and being surrounded by a community of believers helps fill the missing piece of my heart.
July 20, 2025
some helpful thoughts.
May 6, 2026
The Parallel Journey
I purchased this book seven months ago but hesitated to open it. My wife, Michelle, passed away in December 2022, just five months after Bill Johnson lost his wife, Beni. Watching Bill continue to minister and lead while grieving left me constantly wondering, “How does he do that?”
The timing of finally reading it felt providential. While on a trip to Redding, California, I found myself sick on a Sunday morning. As I watched the Bethel service online—where Bill happened to be preaching about his journey—I began reading. Over the next two days, I found that our experiences with loss mirrored one another almost exactly.
The "Surrogate" Mentor
There is a specific kind of isolation that settles in after the first few months of loss. While friends and community are supportive initially, that contact inevitably fades, leaving you to feel as though you are walking out your grief alone. In this book, Bill became a "surrogate" friend and father to me. Even though he doesn't know me, he is the first person who truly "got me." He filled the gap that often exists between a grieving soul and a community that might be growing tired of the weight of that grief.
Vulnerability Over Authority
While Bill writes from his decades of experience as a leader, his greatest strength in these pages is his vulnerability. He admits to the same struggles I face—specifically the urge to "sneak out" of social events because the "rain-cloud" of grief feels too heavy to carry in a crowd. Hearing a leader of his stature admit to these feelings provided me with a sense of normalcy. His resolve to stay and engage, even when he didn't feel like it, serves as a practical example: if he can find the strength to stay, so can I.
From Possession to Offering: The "A-ha" Moment
One of the most profound shifts this book prompted was the realization that I have been holding onto my pain as "mine"—a personal possession to be guarded. Bill gently guides the reader toward the "a-ha" moment of taking that pain and offering it to God as a sacrifice. It is a simple truth I already "knew" in my head, but Bill’s scars gave him the authority to help that truth land in my heart. I realized I don't have to focus on the pain; I can take the pain to God, and through that offering, He provides the strength for the next breath.
The Gap in Muscle Memory
Bill is 16 years my senior and has a lifetime of consistent faith. I walked away from my faith at 18 and didn't return until my 40s. Because of that, his "muscle memory" for spiritual disciplines—like staying in the Word and worship during a crisis—is more developed than mine. This book bridges that gap. It doesn't offer a step-by-step method, but rather a gentle encouragement to "stay the course" for those of us still building those faith muscles in the midst of a storm.
For Those Standing Beside the Grieving
I have lost other family members and friends, but the loss of a spouse is a uniquely isolating and painful experience. Many of my married friends have expressed that they "can't fathom" what I am going through. If you are a friend of someone who has lost a spouse, I highly recommend reading this book. It provides a window into the "rain-cloud" we carry and can help you better understand the nuances of a journey that is often difficult to explain to those who haven't walked it.
A Word to the Weary
I would not necessarily recommend this book for someone in the "raw," immediate weeks of grief. It is a deep, tearful experience that requires intentionality. My advice is to read it slowly—perhaps a chapter at a time—allowing yourself the space to put it down for a day or two to process. It isn't a manual to be completed; it is a conversation to be sat with.
I purchased this book seven months ago but hesitated to open it. My wife, Michelle, passed away in December 2022, just five months after Bill Johnson lost his wife, Beni. Watching Bill continue to minister and lead while grieving left me constantly wondering, “How does he do that?”
The timing of finally reading it felt providential. While on a trip to Redding, California, I found myself sick on a Sunday morning. As I watched the Bethel service online—where Bill happened to be preaching about his journey—I began reading. Over the next two days, I found that our experiences with loss mirrored one another almost exactly.
The "Surrogate" Mentor
There is a specific kind of isolation that settles in after the first few months of loss. While friends and community are supportive initially, that contact inevitably fades, leaving you to feel as though you are walking out your grief alone. In this book, Bill became a "surrogate" friend and father to me. Even though he doesn't know me, he is the first person who truly "got me." He filled the gap that often exists between a grieving soul and a community that might be growing tired of the weight of that grief.
Vulnerability Over Authority
While Bill writes from his decades of experience as a leader, his greatest strength in these pages is his vulnerability. He admits to the same struggles I face—specifically the urge to "sneak out" of social events because the "rain-cloud" of grief feels too heavy to carry in a crowd. Hearing a leader of his stature admit to these feelings provided me with a sense of normalcy. His resolve to stay and engage, even when he didn't feel like it, serves as a practical example: if he can find the strength to stay, so can I.
From Possession to Offering: The "A-ha" Moment
One of the most profound shifts this book prompted was the realization that I have been holding onto my pain as "mine"—a personal possession to be guarded. Bill gently guides the reader toward the "a-ha" moment of taking that pain and offering it to God as a sacrifice. It is a simple truth I already "knew" in my head, but Bill’s scars gave him the authority to help that truth land in my heart. I realized I don't have to focus on the pain; I can take the pain to God, and through that offering, He provides the strength for the next breath.
The Gap in Muscle Memory
Bill is 16 years my senior and has a lifetime of consistent faith. I walked away from my faith at 18 and didn't return until my 40s. Because of that, his "muscle memory" for spiritual disciplines—like staying in the Word and worship during a crisis—is more developed than mine. This book bridges that gap. It doesn't offer a step-by-step method, but rather a gentle encouragement to "stay the course" for those of us still building those faith muscles in the midst of a storm.
For Those Standing Beside the Grieving
I have lost other family members and friends, but the loss of a spouse is a uniquely isolating and painful experience. Many of my married friends have expressed that they "can't fathom" what I am going through. If you are a friend of someone who has lost a spouse, I highly recommend reading this book. It provides a window into the "rain-cloud" we carry and can help you better understand the nuances of a journey that is often difficult to explain to those who haven't walked it.
A Word to the Weary
I would not necessarily recommend this book for someone in the "raw," immediate weeks of grief. It is a deep, tearful experience that requires intentionality. My advice is to read it slowly—perhaps a chapter at a time—allowing yourself the space to put it down for a day or two to process. It isn't a manual to be completed; it is a conversation to be sat with.
June 13, 2025
Bill Johnson has written a gem for everyone facing those hard moments of the deepest loss and grief. This raw, personal look at his own experience in the loss of his beloved wife is a must read for believers as they recover from the trauma, and attempt to grip the new reality without their spouse. In this situation, Bill shares that we have a choice. We can allow bitterness to set in, or we can draw closer to God, the source of all our hope. Remove the sting and apply the sweetness of God's love and comfort. Bill's insightful perspective can make all the difference as we must face the worst. "There is nothing more soothing to the wounded heart than the healing balm of his presence."
August 22, 2025
I have so many book darts marking pages I want to return to that I might as well read it again. Raw, vulnerable, encouraging, refocusing, compassionate and more. Highly recommend for anyone with loss or grief of any kind.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews