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10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World: How Parents Can Stop Smartphones, Social Media, and Gaming from Taking Over Their Children's Lives
Jean Twenge, PhD, award-winning professor of psychology and author of the “lavishly informative” (The New York Times) Generations, returns with a concrete and accessible guide to raising resilient, successful, happy children in a time of overwhelming technological intrusion.
Parenting today often feels like an uphill battle, with technology invading every corner of our kids’ lives. From the rise of social media addiction to the growing mental health crisis among children and teens, parents are grappling with how they can create a healthy, balanced relationship with technology for their kids.
Bestselling author Jean Twenge provides the much-needed playbook parents have been asking for. Drawing on her decades as a psychologist studying the impact of technology and mental health and her personal experience as the mother of three teenagers, Twenge offers ten actionable rules for raising independent and well-rounded children. From setting “No Social Media Until 16” boundaries to creating no-phone zones like bedrooms and family dinners, these rules are grounded in evidence yet simple enough to incorporate into any family routine.
Short, empowering, and timely, this book equips parents with the tools to combat not just immediate harms such as online bullying but also helps to nurture essential life skills, preparing kids and teens to become autonomous adults.
Parenting today often feels like an uphill battle, with technology invading every corner of our kids’ lives. From the rise of social media addiction to the growing mental health crisis among children and teens, parents are grappling with how they can create a healthy, balanced relationship with technology for their kids.
Bestselling author Jean Twenge provides the much-needed playbook parents have been asking for. Drawing on her decades as a psychologist studying the impact of technology and mental health and her personal experience as the mother of three teenagers, Twenge offers ten actionable rules for raising independent and well-rounded children. From setting “No Social Media Until 16” boundaries to creating no-phone zones like bedrooms and family dinners, these rules are grounded in evidence yet simple enough to incorporate into any family routine.
Short, empowering, and timely, this book equips parents with the tools to combat not just immediate harms such as online bullying but also helps to nurture essential life skills, preparing kids and teens to become autonomous adults.
224 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2025
159 people are currently reading
3591 people want to read
About the author
Jean M. Twenge
24 books315 followersDr. Twenge frequently gives talks and seminars on teaching and working with today’s young generation based on a dataset of 11 million young people. Her audiences have included college faculty and staff, high school teachers, military personnel, camp directors, and corporate executives. Her research has been covered in Time, Newsweek, The New York Times, USA Today, U.S. News and World Report, and The Washington Post, and she has been featured on Today, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Fox and Friends, NBC Nightly News, Dateline NBC, and National Public Radio.
She holds a BA and MA from the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. from the University of Michigan. She lives in San Diego with her husband and three daughters.
She holds a BA and MA from the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. from the University of Michigan. She lives in San Diego with her husband and three daughters.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 113 reviews
August 28, 2025
TLDR: Read this instead of The Anxious Generation.
Thanks to Atria for the gifted copy of this book!
So I will be honest… I read THE ANXIOUS GENERATION with my book club earlier this year, and kind of felt like it could be an article. I appreciated all the research and agreed with the sentiment, but it was a little on the long side for me. TEN RULES, however, was exactly the book I was looking for!!! This is such a practical guide to parenting in the modern day age with technology, backed up by data and research, filled with personal stories, and still short enough to feel like an efficient read. I agreed with literally everything in this book and thought it was well organized, and easy to get through. This is accessible for any parent. Please read this!!!
Thanks to Atria for the gifted copy of this book!
So I will be honest… I read THE ANXIOUS GENERATION with my book club earlier this year, and kind of felt like it could be an article. I appreciated all the research and agreed with the sentiment, but it was a little on the long side for me. TEN RULES, however, was exactly the book I was looking for!!! This is such a practical guide to parenting in the modern day age with technology, backed up by data and research, filled with personal stories, and still short enough to feel like an efficient read. I agreed with literally everything in this book and thought it was well organized, and easy to get through. This is accessible for any parent. Please read this!!!
February 21, 2026
I'm already aware of the conversations surrounding kids with screen time and the negative effects of excessive use of smartphones.
Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation is another good read on the topic.
There will come a point when my child will want their own phone, so there was some helpful insight into how to manage that.
I do think once they start Secondary School in a few years time social media will be banned for under 16's anyway - so hopefully that's one less worry.
The author does raise some interesting points that if everyone else in their class has them then your own child will inevitably raise the question of wanting one themselves.
It's interesting that her recommendation is when the child has a driving licence - though here in the U.K. that age is slightly higher than America.
It's a quick read with some interesting graphs to back up her findings,whilst the 10 rules as recommended in the title are simply layed out.
Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation is another good read on the topic.
There will come a point when my child will want their own phone, so there was some helpful insight into how to manage that.
I do think once they start Secondary School in a few years time social media will be banned for under 16's anyway - so hopefully that's one less worry.
The author does raise some interesting points that if everyone else in their class has them then your own child will inevitably raise the question of wanting one themselves.
It's interesting that her recommendation is when the child has a driving licence - though here in the U.K. that age is slightly higher than America.
It's a quick read with some interesting graphs to back up her findings,whilst the 10 rules as recommended in the title are simply layed out.
December 15, 2025
This book has some interesting ideas, but I found several contradictions that didn’t sit right with me. The author praises how safe children’s lives are today compared to the past, suggesting that kids can handle more freedom, like running errands or walking to the park at eight. I don’t disagree that kids are safer, but it’s important to recognize why. Safer communities, responsible parenting, and better systems make these freedoms possible. Glorifying the freedom of her own childhood while implying kids today should replicate it felt a little tone-deaf. It’s not inherently safer now than in the 80s or 90s; it’s the result of intentional change.
At the same time, she is extremely strict about digital spaces. Social media, online content, and devices are tightly controlled, giving children almost no chance to make choices or prove their judgment. That tension felt contradictory, in the real world, kids are trusted to navigate independence, but online, they are treated as incapable of responsibility. This approach also included assumptions I found problematic, like claiming that having a phone does not reduce the likelihood of a child being a victim of a crime. For me, that’s simply not true;
phones are often essential for safety, and I would like to see data backing up her claims.
Some of the points I agreed with include her idea of putting friction in children’s paths to prevent harmful habits, the no-phones-in-bed rule, and taking books everywhere to encourage reading. I also appreciated her note that parents should “not let perfect be the enemy of the good.” The guidance around gradually introducing devices, for example, starting with a non-smartphone before a smartphone felt practical and reasonable. Blocking texting or social media during school hours makes sense in theory, though in my mind, phones are sometimes essential for emergencies like school gun violence or health situations.
I disagreed with several other perspectives. She criticizes activities like paint-by-numbers or video games in ways that feel unnecessarily judgmental, ignoring the happiness or resilience they can foster. I also found her tone condescending at times, especially when discussing Gen Z or digital literacy, as if younger generations need to be managed rather than taught to navigate responsibly. Her approach sometimes felt like micromanaging, rather than giving children space to learn from mistakes.
The book also raised valid points about encouraging diverse interests beyond digital gaming, such as sports, hobbies, reading, and outdoor time. She correctly notes that if gaming becomes a child’s sole interest, interventions are needed, but some of the framing about addiction felt exaggerated. Correlation does not equal causation, and kids might turn to gaming as a route of escapism rather than gaming causing depression.
Overall, the book offers some practical guidelines and interesting reflections on parenting in the digital age. The key takeaways for me were: put friction in the right places, gradually introduce devices, set boundaries around sleep and school time, and teach responsibility rather than micromanaging. Still, the contradictions between her approach to real-world freedom and digital restrictions and unsupported claims along with some of the condescending tones made me read the book critically rather than fully embrace her philosophy. Parenting in a high-tech world requires nuance, judgment, and giving children opportunities to grow while keeping them safe, and that balance wasn’t fully realized here. For me- it was too much independence virtually and too much micromanaging digitally.
At the same time, she is extremely strict about digital spaces. Social media, online content, and devices are tightly controlled, giving children almost no chance to make choices or prove their judgment. That tension felt contradictory, in the real world, kids are trusted to navigate independence, but online, they are treated as incapable of responsibility. This approach also included assumptions I found problematic, like claiming that having a phone does not reduce the likelihood of a child being a victim of a crime. For me, that’s simply not true;
phones are often essential for safety, and I would like to see data backing up her claims.
Some of the points I agreed with include her idea of putting friction in children’s paths to prevent harmful habits, the no-phones-in-bed rule, and taking books everywhere to encourage reading. I also appreciated her note that parents should “not let perfect be the enemy of the good.” The guidance around gradually introducing devices, for example, starting with a non-smartphone before a smartphone felt practical and reasonable. Blocking texting or social media during school hours makes sense in theory, though in my mind, phones are sometimes essential for emergencies like school gun violence or health situations.
I disagreed with several other perspectives. She criticizes activities like paint-by-numbers or video games in ways that feel unnecessarily judgmental, ignoring the happiness or resilience they can foster. I also found her tone condescending at times, especially when discussing Gen Z or digital literacy, as if younger generations need to be managed rather than taught to navigate responsibly. Her approach sometimes felt like micromanaging, rather than giving children space to learn from mistakes.
The book also raised valid points about encouraging diverse interests beyond digital gaming, such as sports, hobbies, reading, and outdoor time. She correctly notes that if gaming becomes a child’s sole interest, interventions are needed, but some of the framing about addiction felt exaggerated. Correlation does not equal causation, and kids might turn to gaming as a route of escapism rather than gaming causing depression.
Overall, the book offers some practical guidelines and interesting reflections on parenting in the digital age. The key takeaways for me were: put friction in the right places, gradually introduce devices, set boundaries around sleep and school time, and teach responsibility rather than micromanaging. Still, the contradictions between her approach to real-world freedom and digital restrictions and unsupported claims along with some of the condescending tones made me read the book critically rather than fully embrace her philosophy. Parenting in a high-tech world requires nuance, judgment, and giving children opportunities to grow while keeping them safe, and that balance wasn’t fully realized here. For me- it was too much independence virtually and too much micromanaging digitally.
January 13, 2026
This might be the most influential parenting book I’ve read to date. There are several highlights:
1. It’s only 184 pages but packed with easily digestible information
2. Provides research-backed arguments to support delaying smart devices and internet access to kids (not just because it feels wrong to give a child a smartphone)
3. Provides reasonable device recommendations by age including ones with built in safety features
4. Includes step by step instructions for setting up parental controls on various devices
5. Has actionable items to spark change in schools including drafted emails to send to administrators with data to support claims
I’ll be reading this at least two more times as my daughters grow up and want, then eventually get devices.
This was a perfect supplement to The Anxious Generation.
1. It’s only 184 pages but packed with easily digestible information
2. Provides research-backed arguments to support delaying smart devices and internet access to kids (not just because it feels wrong to give a child a smartphone)
3. Provides reasonable device recommendations by age including ones with built in safety features
4. Includes step by step instructions for setting up parental controls on various devices
5. Has actionable items to spark change in schools including drafted emails to send to administrators with data to support claims
I’ll be reading this at least two more times as my daughters grow up and want, then eventually get devices.
This was a perfect supplement to The Anxious Generation.
February 14, 2026
I’ve read a lot of books on technology and kids/teens and this was my favorite! It took the research from Anxious Generation and turned it SO SO practical. I think the practicality of next steps is huge.
September 2, 2025
A very practical real life book to give you all the tools to protect kids from the dangers of the internet. It's best if you read this with babies and/or very young children, as a lot of information is best implemented early. However it still gives solid advice for being safe in a very unsafe world. I learned things I want to implement for myself as well as my 13 year old! A lot of this feels hard to read, with scary statistics. It's not a feel good or easy read at all. Thank you for giving parents tools in a world that feels chaotic! Thank you to Netgally for the ARC. Definitely recommend for all parents, or soon to be parents!
December 16, 2025
Required reading for modern parents.
October 23, 2025
If you have a child, you know:
The devices are out of control. In many cases, our schools are pushing them. It’s a disaster for our children and it sucks.
If I hear one more person without children opining on parental controls, or other issues—you have no idea. About the time, the tears, the deviousness. It is everywhere. Your use of technology has nothing to do with what is happening to (frankly, destroying) young people.
Jean Twenge’s book is filled with extremely practical, detailed blueprints of how to rein it in. As a parent of a tween, I found it timely and spot-on.
The devices are out of control. In many cases, our schools are pushing them. It’s a disaster for our children and it sucks.
If I hear one more person without children opining on parental controls, or other issues—you have no idea. About the time, the tears, the deviousness. It is everywhere. Your use of technology has nothing to do with what is happening to (frankly, destroying) young people.
Jean Twenge’s book is filled with extremely practical, detailed blueprints of how to rein it in. As a parent of a tween, I found it timely and spot-on.
January 9, 2026
3.5 rounded up.
A basic guide to raising kids in a world where technology is EVERYWHERE.
For anyone thinking about getting their kids a phone or have pre-teens that are asking for a smart phone. Even those whose kids already have phones but are struggling with how to manage it all.
We follow a lot of what she recommends in our household - time limits, blocked websites, app permissions, no phones in the bedroom etc.
Bottom line is that kids do better with rules. Be flexible. Communicate and give yourself lots of grace.
A basic guide to raising kids in a world where technology is EVERYWHERE.
For anyone thinking about getting their kids a phone or have pre-teens that are asking for a smart phone. Even those whose kids already have phones but are struggling with how to manage it all.
We follow a lot of what she recommends in our household - time limits, blocked websites, app permissions, no phones in the bedroom etc.
Bottom line is that kids do better with rules. Be flexible. Communicate and give yourself lots of grace.
August 2, 2025
As a mom to a 10 year old who desperately wants a phone, I was definitely in the target audience for this book. Sadly for my girl, the book only further convinced me that phones for kids are a bad idea.
Twenge shares research galore showing the links between screen time (social media in particular) and depression in teens and teens, and reveals some surprising facts about how early most kids get a phone. Did you know that, on average, most kids get their first smartphone at 11? Or that almost 40% of kids between age 10-12 are on social media?
The facts tell us that kids are not mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with social media or with the addictive algorithms they employ, yet parents are handing over phones due to societal pressures and the old favorite, "everyone else but me has one." While my kids still won't be getting a smart phone anytime soon, I do feel a bit better equipped to deal with it when the time comes after reading this book.
I will say that one chapter definitely didn't work for me, which was about giving more independence in kids' offline lives. I was nodding my head until the author said that kids between 4-7 could be sent several aisles over in the grocery store to bring items back to you, that was a bridge too far for me!
Thanks to Atria for the gifted copy. All opinions are mine.
Twenge shares research galore showing the links between screen time (social media in particular) and depression in teens and teens, and reveals some surprising facts about how early most kids get a phone. Did you know that, on average, most kids get their first smartphone at 11? Or that almost 40% of kids between age 10-12 are on social media?
The facts tell us that kids are not mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with social media or with the addictive algorithms they employ, yet parents are handing over phones due to societal pressures and the old favorite, "everyone else but me has one." While my kids still won't be getting a smart phone anytime soon, I do feel a bit better equipped to deal with it when the time comes after reading this book.
I will say that one chapter definitely didn't work for me, which was about giving more independence in kids' offline lives. I was nodding my head until the author said that kids between 4-7 could be sent several aisles over in the grocery store to bring items back to you, that was a bridge too far for me!
Thanks to Atria for the gifted copy. All opinions are mine.
October 24, 2025
I had no idea how many metrics of young people's wellbeing (emotional, social, and academic) started a steep decline around 2012, the year that smartphone use crossed the 50% threshold. Already a proud "mean parent" holdout on giving my 7th grader a cell phone, this book made me realize I've been too lenient with the other devices we do let her use. She read this book alongside me, initially under duress, but ultimately pronounced it interesting.
Thankfully there are more basic phone options on the market now for those of us who follow this line of thinking to consider for our tweens and teens. If only our school district would get with the program and ban phones from bell to bell instead of their pointless "not during class" policy. I swore off teaching at the secondary level after subbing in middle and high school classrooms where kids were only pretending to do schoolwork, sometimes not even bothering to pretend, while consumed with their phones.
Thankfully there are more basic phone options on the market now for those of us who follow this line of thinking to consider for our tweens and teens. If only our school district would get with the program and ban phones from bell to bell instead of their pointless "not during class" policy. I swore off teaching at the secondary level after subbing in middle and high school classrooms where kids were only pretending to do schoolwork, sometimes not even bothering to pretend, while consumed with their phones.
October 31, 2025
Plenty of overlap with The Anxious Generation, but much easier to digest and contains lots of practical advice that I intend to implement. Some of the advice was already familiar to me, like keeping devices out of bedrooms, so those chapters were easy to breeze through. But other chapters have information and suggestions I intend to jot down before returning the book to the library.
January 8, 2026
10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High‑Tech World is exactly the kind of parenting book I appreciate: practical, well-researched, and refreshingly efficient. It’s short, well organised, and packed with evidence, but still very readable. I found myself agreeing with pretty much everything in it.
The advice is clear and sensible, without tipping into preachy or shaming territory. I really liked that the author openly acknowledged their own mistakes with tech and their kids. It makes the guidance feel realistic rather than idealised, and much easier to trust.
Reading this as an Australian parent felt especially timely. With Australia recently banning social media for under-16s, and my own kids being 8 and already pushing hard for more screen time, this book helped articulate the why behind limits my wife and I are already trying to hold. We’re on the same page about keeping tech use as limited as possible, and this gave us extra confidence in those decisions, backed by research rather than fear.
Succinct, accessible, and genuinely useful. A worthwhile read for any parent trying to raise kids in a very noisy, very high-tech world.
The advice is clear and sensible, without tipping into preachy or shaming territory. I really liked that the author openly acknowledged their own mistakes with tech and their kids. It makes the guidance feel realistic rather than idealised, and much easier to trust.
Reading this as an Australian parent felt especially timely. With Australia recently banning social media for under-16s, and my own kids being 8 and already pushing hard for more screen time, this book helped articulate the why behind limits my wife and I are already trying to hold. We’re on the same page about keeping tech use as limited as possible, and this gave us extra confidence in those decisions, backed by research rather than fear.
Succinct, accessible, and genuinely useful. A worthwhile read for any parent trying to raise kids in a very noisy, very high-tech world.
October 3, 2025
Very succinct easily digested advice for raising kids with tech. They also deliver the message without being preachy or shaming, and present their own missteps they’ve had with their kids and tech. I’ve read previous books on this topic, and while they’re great too, they have tended to dive deep into the research which can be a bit overwhelming to a parent just looking for action items. I listened to the audio for this, but plan to buy a hard copy to reference in later years. Definitely recommend to parents.
January 1, 2026
This book is a game changer as a child psychologist AND a mom!!! I learned so much and this book keeps the research and information simple and digestible for any parent to apply. 10 simple rules. I like being told what to do and this book lays out a clear outline to take a seemingly complicated yet unavoidable elephant in the room, into a surmountable feat I can tackle.
August 24, 2025
Very practical and helpful!
October 30, 2025
I read this after hearing renege speak at a conference about the crisis amongst American youth. She knows what she is talking about as the parent of three teens, but it’s scary how difficult it has been for someone as knowledgeable as she is to put these common sense rules in place. Every parent of a five year old should read this so they are prepared to provide guidance to their child before sliding down a dangerous and slippery slope
November 5, 2025
Really helpful - having two tweens myself
Thinking of buying a copy to keep around in fact (read from library)
Thinking of buying a copy to keep around in fact (read from library)
January 18, 2026
So very practical and helpful! “Don’t the perfect be the enemy of the good” will remain my mantra for handling kids and technology. It’s worth the time, effort, and even fight with my kids!
November 1, 2025
4.5 stars. As with any parenting book, some things can be tweaked for your particular kid/situation. But overall this is the best thing I’ve read out there so far.
February 1, 2026
Easy-to-read, straight forward, and practical/easy-to-follow rules on how to protect your kids' overall development while growing up in a high-tech world. Who knows what technology will look like by the time my boys are wanting their own phones, but at least I have some more information and research to back the decisions I make for them. Rule 8 (give your kids real-world freedom) was an eye-opener for me! I can definitely improve in fostering their independence (even when it's SO much easier to do it for them 🤦♀️😂).
January 5, 2026
An easy and practical read for sure. It’s good timing to read it while my son is the age he is. I have time before he dives into tech stuff, and I feel more prepared for when he does.
August 10, 2025
I can't stop thinking about this book. I have really young kids but already I'm starting to think about how I want to raise them in today's world. Even at the age of 2, we get questions about if they will have tablets or not. This book was exactly the confirmation that we needed that our plans for personal devices for our kids are the right plans! I've told so many people about this book because I can't get it out of my head.
It would have been a five star read but I felt like this book was assuming a reader who didn't grow up with technology until they were in college, but I had Instagram in high school. Because of that, it already felt slightly dated.
Thanks to the publisher for an advance copy!
💫 4.5/5 Overall
It would have been a five star read but I felt like this book was assuming a reader who didn't grow up with technology until they were in college, but I had Instagram in high school. Because of that, it already felt slightly dated.
Thanks to the publisher for an advance copy!
💫 4.5/5 Overall
July 23, 2025
This book is a must read for parents but also for those who want tips for balancing life in an age of smartphones! I've read other books from author Jean Twenge but this one is the most practical book she's written to date.
10 rules and they all are important.
This book is very important for the age that we live in. As most of us are distracted constantly by the little computers in our pockets and on our wrists. It's a great refresher on being aware of the tools that we use and not to be a slave to them.
I recommend this book to anyone with kids who want to raise independent adults eventually. I also recommend this to adults who want more awareness of their time and attention to their phone use.
4.5 stars!
10 rules and they all are important.
This book is very important for the age that we live in. As most of us are distracted constantly by the little computers in our pockets and on our wrists. It's a great refresher on being aware of the tools that we use and not to be a slave to them.
I recommend this book to anyone with kids who want to raise independent adults eventually. I also recommend this to adults who want more awareness of their time and attention to their phone use.
4.5 stars!
September 30, 2025
‘10 Rules’ makes very few points and makes them clearly: electronic screens and social media are toxic for kids, and there are simple rules to deploy to decrease kids’ screen usage. I appreciate that the author doesn’t equivocate; she directly names the companies (Meta, TikTok) that are societal villains and tormentors of children. This book should bring together parents from across the political spectrum. The Epstein crowd/ pizzagaters and educated technoskeptics may unite in unlikely union to save the children – the studies and anecdotes cited are poignant and leave little room to doubt that something needs to be done to prevent corruption of our youth.
After succinctly demonstrating that internet exposure is toxic for the juvenile body and psyche, the book wisely preaches electronic abstinence for kids. But that’s all it does. The claims of toxicity and the framework offered for abstinence could be presented in five-ish PowerPoint slides. The rest of the book is filled with mock Q&As for parents who need help debating children on rules, repetitive info on the harm caused by social media, and exhaustive descriptions of channels by which harm can be inflicted. A millennial fluent in the social media ecosystem beyond Facebook can skim whereas a boomer grandparent finding themselves raising their orphaned grandchild should hang on every word.
My rating is political and moral: 5/5 stars, because people should be aware of the risks associated with internet and screen use (if they aren’t already) and heed the warnings. “Exposure reduction results in harm reduction” is the narrow but valuable scope of ‘10 Rules’ that leaves a parent with, naturally, a “rules”-based, flimsy shield of abstinence against truly morally corrupt forces. But since when did anyone believe calls for abstinence were sufficient to protect against culturally ubiquitous, biologically irresistible, self- (and other-) destructive temptations?
While the book offers the parent canned dialectical prompts to justify the abstinence, redirect a kid’s time and attention, and discourage social media FOMO, it has no depth in discussing what we can’t change, that modern children will grow up in the IRL cultural milieu of the online world. It’s not enough to proscribe apps (or vapes or sex) and convince children they’re dangerous whereas alternative activities are more healthful and edifying. Kids need to understand the monster the parent keeps them away from, and they need beliefs and conviction that we and our communities deserve protection from that monster.
That is to say, children require new media literacy and training in critically analyzing social media information to navigate this new culture, yet school curricula focus almost exclusively on the dying medium of text. While this book is collated into a handy list of device and app prohibitions, parents need a framework for introducing children to topics that help them understand the online world and its driving interests, its visual distortions, its algorithmic steering, its echo chambers, its total epistemic atomization of subjective experience that precludes a cohesive shared reality, and its thirst traps.
Also, “this stuff is real bad for YOU, kid,” but so what? A list of rules inspires no children’s hearts to throb with anti-screen conviction, rallies no teen crusader to raise a polemical battle cry against the algorithms, and primes no youth’s stomachs to churn before crossing a dangerous threshold: the vertiginous precipice before the bottomless pit of brainrot. There are frustratingly few resources to help kids morally navigate the modern, online culture.
Humanity needs a new generation who can discern moral problems and externalities in new, alluring media. They must be not merely cognizant, but intolerant, of personal and social harms mediated through the apps. We need a generation that treasures basic social virtues enough to militantly conserve them while human to human connection itself drowns under the indifferent tide of the ever-rising social media feed.
The book acknowledges that technology is constantly shifting, but the absence of discussion on AI chat tools is conspicuous for a book published in 2025. Hopefully an updated edition can be released that includes the concerning early research on AI usage.
After succinctly demonstrating that internet exposure is toxic for the juvenile body and psyche, the book wisely preaches electronic abstinence for kids. But that’s all it does. The claims of toxicity and the framework offered for abstinence could be presented in five-ish PowerPoint slides. The rest of the book is filled with mock Q&As for parents who need help debating children on rules, repetitive info on the harm caused by social media, and exhaustive descriptions of channels by which harm can be inflicted. A millennial fluent in the social media ecosystem beyond Facebook can skim whereas a boomer grandparent finding themselves raising their orphaned grandchild should hang on every word.
My rating is political and moral: 5/5 stars, because people should be aware of the risks associated with internet and screen use (if they aren’t already) and heed the warnings. “Exposure reduction results in harm reduction” is the narrow but valuable scope of ‘10 Rules’ that leaves a parent with, naturally, a “rules”-based, flimsy shield of abstinence against truly morally corrupt forces. But since when did anyone believe calls for abstinence were sufficient to protect against culturally ubiquitous, biologically irresistible, self- (and other-) destructive temptations?
While the book offers the parent canned dialectical prompts to justify the abstinence, redirect a kid’s time and attention, and discourage social media FOMO, it has no depth in discussing what we can’t change, that modern children will grow up in the IRL cultural milieu of the online world. It’s not enough to proscribe apps (or vapes or sex) and convince children they’re dangerous whereas alternative activities are more healthful and edifying. Kids need to understand the monster the parent keeps them away from, and they need beliefs and conviction that we and our communities deserve protection from that monster.
That is to say, children require new media literacy and training in critically analyzing social media information to navigate this new culture, yet school curricula focus almost exclusively on the dying medium of text. While this book is collated into a handy list of device and app prohibitions, parents need a framework for introducing children to topics that help them understand the online world and its driving interests, its visual distortions, its algorithmic steering, its echo chambers, its total epistemic atomization of subjective experience that precludes a cohesive shared reality, and its thirst traps.
Also, “this stuff is real bad for YOU, kid,” but so what? A list of rules inspires no children’s hearts to throb with anti-screen conviction, rallies no teen crusader to raise a polemical battle cry against the algorithms, and primes no youth’s stomachs to churn before crossing a dangerous threshold: the vertiginous precipice before the bottomless pit of brainrot. There are frustratingly few resources to help kids morally navigate the modern, online culture.
Humanity needs a new generation who can discern moral problems and externalities in new, alluring media. They must be not merely cognizant, but intolerant, of personal and social harms mediated through the apps. We need a generation that treasures basic social virtues enough to militantly conserve them while human to human connection itself drowns under the indifferent tide of the ever-rising social media feed.
The book acknowledges that technology is constantly shifting, but the absence of discussion on AI chat tools is conspicuous for a book published in 2025. Hopefully an updated edition can be released that includes the concerning early research on AI usage.
August 19, 2025
Parenting today feels like navigating a digital minefield without a map. That's why I grabbed "10 Rules for Raising Kids In A High-Tech World" by Dr. Twenge, and I'm so glad I did.
As a mom of teenagers, I constantly struggle with technology decisions. How do I keep my kids tech-savvy without letting screens consume their lives? This book arrived at exactly the right moment, offering practical guidance for this digital tightrope walk.
I appreciate Twenge's balanced approach. She understands kids need technology skills to thrive in today's world while acknowledging the very real dangers of excessive screen time and social media exposure.
Some recommendations felt immediately doable, while others had me thinking "that ship has sailed." For instance, implementing device-free dinner times was simple, but trying to scale back certain gaming habits proved challenging with my 14-year-old who's been playing for years.
I completely agree with her stance on social media. Both my kids are under sixteen and, despite peer pressure, don't have social media accounts. Twenge's research on the dangers reinforced this decision.
What makes this book particularly valuable is its flexibility. I'm already adapting several strategies to fit our family's specific dynamics, picking the approaches that address our biggest concerns while respecting my teenagers' maturity levels.
For parents feeling overwhelmed by raising kids in this high-tech world, Twenge's guidance offers both relief and practical steps forward. This isn't about perfect parenting but making informed choices in an increasingly complex digital landscape.
Special thanks to Atria Books for my advance copy. As always, the thoughts shared here are completely my own.
As a mom of teenagers, I constantly struggle with technology decisions. How do I keep my kids tech-savvy without letting screens consume their lives? This book arrived at exactly the right moment, offering practical guidance for this digital tightrope walk.
I appreciate Twenge's balanced approach. She understands kids need technology skills to thrive in today's world while acknowledging the very real dangers of excessive screen time and social media exposure.
Some recommendations felt immediately doable, while others had me thinking "that ship has sailed." For instance, implementing device-free dinner times was simple, but trying to scale back certain gaming habits proved challenging with my 14-year-old who's been playing for years.
I completely agree with her stance on social media. Both my kids are under sixteen and, despite peer pressure, don't have social media accounts. Twenge's research on the dangers reinforced this decision.
What makes this book particularly valuable is its flexibility. I'm already adapting several strategies to fit our family's specific dynamics, picking the approaches that address our biggest concerns while respecting my teenagers' maturity levels.
For parents feeling overwhelmed by raising kids in this high-tech world, Twenge's guidance offers both relief and practical steps forward. This isn't about perfect parenting but making informed choices in an increasingly complex digital landscape.
Special thanks to Atria Books for my advance copy. As always, the thoughts shared here are completely my own.
January 1, 2026
If you are a parent or grandparent, this is a must read. It takes the science set out in Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Caused an Epidemic of Mental Illness and sets out practical and doable rules to preserve childhood and the teen years. Author Jean Twenge has been studying the impact of screens on children and teens for almost two decades and first sounded the alarm of the impact of screens on youth in her 2017 book iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood--and What That Means for the Rest of Us. As someone who works with teens and used many of these rules with my own children, two of whom are now 18+, this book is super practical and provides the steps to help parents protect their children from tech companies' predatory practices toward children, as well as predators who use tech to do harm to children and teens.
September 2, 2025
📱🚫👶
Big thanks to Atria Books for the ARC of 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World by Jean M. Twenge 🙌
So parenting in 2025 = constant battles with tiny glowing rectangles. Enter Twenge, who basically hands parents a rulebook for surviving the smartphone/social media apocalypse.
Vibe Check: 📖✔️
Practical, research-backed, and short enough that you can actually finish it before your kid begs for an iPhone again. This is less “hand-wringing thinkpiece” and more “here’s how to set boundaries without losing your mind.”
What I Liked:
✔️ Super practical — rules you can actually do (like no-phones-at-dinner and no social media until 16)
✔️ A nice mix of research + real mom energy (she’s got 3 teens herself)
✔️ I felt like I had backup when telling kids “no, you’re not getting Snapchat”
✔️ Honestly comforting to know other parents are struggling too
What Didn’t Work for Me:
✖️ Some rules felt a little dated (the grocery store aisle independence suggestion for 4-year-olds had me like… ma’am, what??)
✖️ If your kids already have phones/social media, parts of this will feel like “too little, too late”
✖️ Sometimes I wanted more nuance on families that need tech (single parents, low-income households, etc.)
Tropes / Themes:
• No phones at the dinner table 🍽️
• No social media until 16 🚫
• Parenting in the digital minefield 💻
• Building resilience + independence 🌱
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Not the flashiest parenting book, but definitely one of the most useful. It’s the rare kind of guide you’ll actually reference IRL when you’re staring down the dreaded “But everyone else has one!” argument.
Big thanks to Atria Books for the ARC of 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World by Jean M. Twenge 🙌
So parenting in 2025 = constant battles with tiny glowing rectangles. Enter Twenge, who basically hands parents a rulebook for surviving the smartphone/social media apocalypse.
Vibe Check: 📖✔️
Practical, research-backed, and short enough that you can actually finish it before your kid begs for an iPhone again. This is less “hand-wringing thinkpiece” and more “here’s how to set boundaries without losing your mind.”
What I Liked:
✔️ Super practical — rules you can actually do (like no-phones-at-dinner and no social media until 16)
✔️ A nice mix of research + real mom energy (she’s got 3 teens herself)
✔️ I felt like I had backup when telling kids “no, you’re not getting Snapchat”
✔️ Honestly comforting to know other parents are struggling too
What Didn’t Work for Me:
✖️ Some rules felt a little dated (the grocery store aisle independence suggestion for 4-year-olds had me like… ma’am, what??)
✖️ If your kids already have phones/social media, parts of this will feel like “too little, too late”
✖️ Sometimes I wanted more nuance on families that need tech (single parents, low-income households, etc.)
Tropes / Themes:
• No phones at the dinner table 🍽️
• No social media until 16 🚫
• Parenting in the digital minefield 💻
• Building resilience + independence 🌱
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5
Not the flashiest parenting book, but definitely one of the most useful. It’s the rare kind of guide you’ll actually reference IRL when you’re staring down the dreaded “But everyone else has one!” argument.
December 15, 2025
Jean M. Twenge’s 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World is a clear, practical attempt to turn an overwhelming topic into a workable set of guardrails. Twenge’s central move is to treat “tech” as an ecosystem—not just a smartphone decision—so the conversation has to include bedrooms and sleep, social media, gaming systems, tablets/laptops, school-day expectations, and the ways all of that interacts with mental health and development. I appreciated how the rules function as a framework you can actually react to, rather than a vague “be careful with screens” message.
That said, I’ve read a fair amount in this area, and at a big-picture level many of the ideas weren’t new to me. The value here wasn’t novelty as much as synthesis: the rules create a coherent structure for thinking through what to allow, when to allow it, and what boundaries matter most. Even when I didn’t agree with every prescription or timeline, it was useful to have the positions stated plainly enough that I could test them against my own family’s needs.
For me, the book’s biggest benefit was prompting a fresh look at options for my newly-13-year-old daughter. It helped me re-center the goal as building a sensible framework for technology as a whole—clear expectations, consistent guardrails, and a gradual ramp-up of responsibility—rather than letting the “first smartphone” question dominate everything. A solid, readable framework that’s especially helpful as a periodic reset, even if you’re already familiar with the broader debate.
That said, I’ve read a fair amount in this area, and at a big-picture level many of the ideas weren’t new to me. The value here wasn’t novelty as much as synthesis: the rules create a coherent structure for thinking through what to allow, when to allow it, and what boundaries matter most. Even when I didn’t agree with every prescription or timeline, it was useful to have the positions stated plainly enough that I could test them against my own family’s needs.
For me, the book’s biggest benefit was prompting a fresh look at options for my newly-13-year-old daughter. It helped me re-center the goal as building a sensible framework for technology as a whole—clear expectations, consistent guardrails, and a gradual ramp-up of responsibility—rather than letting the “first smartphone” question dominate everything. A solid, readable framework that’s especially helpful as a periodic reset, even if you’re already familiar with the broader debate.
January 16, 2026
I wish everyone would read/listen to this book before allowing a child in their life to interact with a phone/tablet/computer. The author does a great job explaining that problematic phone use is not about a child being "good" vs. "bad" but rather about the addictive nature of these devices and the harmful algorithms of social media. The author gives concrete steps families can take to set healthy boundaries with technology use at home and to advocate for phone bans in schools. While some of the issues the author brought up would primarily impact middle and high income families (or people living in communities with almost all middle and high income families) a lot of what the author shares applies to anyone whose child will, at any point in their life, encounter a computer, phone, or tablet.
I think even people who only minimally interact with children might benefit from reading this book and thinking about their own technology use and how to give their inner child healthy technology boundaries.
Something else I appreciated about this book is that the author doesn't think adults need to set the 100% perfect technology boundaries. They allow space for caregivers to make missteps that they either walk back or decide to live with. I think this book is definitely worth reading even if you decide to implement only some of this advice.
I think even people who only minimally interact with children might benefit from reading this book and thinking about their own technology use and how to give their inner child healthy technology boundaries.
Something else I appreciated about this book is that the author doesn't think adults need to set the 100% perfect technology boundaries. They allow space for caregivers to make missteps that they either walk back or decide to live with. I think this book is definitely worth reading even if you decide to implement only some of this advice.
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