you said this was love: poems about gaslighting, emotional abuse, and finding the strength to leave

by Sophie Eve

At first, it didn't feel like this.

It felt exciting.
Intense.
Like something you didn't want to lose.

Then slowly... something changed.

Not all at once.
Not enough to name.

Just small things.
Comments. Tone. Reactions.

Moments that made you question yourself.

You started explaining yourself more.
Apologizing more.
Trying harder.

And somehow, it was never enough.

This is what it feels like when love starts to turn into something else.

You Said This Was Love is an uncomfortably honest poetry collection

Emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and confusionLosing your sense of reality inside a relationshipBlaming yourself for things you didn't doTrying to hold on to something that keeps hurting youThe moment you realize this isn't love... and decide to leave
This isn't about obvious endings.

It's about the slow unfolding.

The part where you stay.
Even when something feels so wrong.
Because you still believe in what it was.

Inside, you'll find poems made to feel like everything is your faultQuestioning your memory, your reactions, your truthWalking on eggshells to avoid conflictHolding onto the "good version" of someone who keeps hurting youThe quiet strength it takes to leave
And what comes after.

The silence.
The distance.
The slow return to yourself.

This book is for you been made to feel like you're always the problemYou find yourself apologizing even when you don't understand whyYou feel like you've lost who you were in a relationship You've stayed longer than you should have, hoping things would changeYou question your own memory after conversations or argumentsYou feel drained, confused, and unsure of what's realYou're trying to leave, or have already left, and are beginning to rebuild
Written for anyone who has experienced emotional harm in a relationship and is finding their way back to themselves.

You weren't imagining it.
And you can leave.

171 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 11, 2025

Reviews

[Paola Hernandez · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really liked the structure of this book, but unfortunately this poetry felt very simplistic. I love simple poetry books with deeper meaning, but this one kind of missed the mark. There are definitely some of the pieces that did resonate with me, but some didn’t. (Which is normal when reading a poetry book) I kinda found myself just trying to rush through it. I think that this will definitely hit different for every individual as poetry does, so maybe give it a shot if it peeked your interest!
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“I’m starting to realize everything that was drowning me is now teaching me to swim”

[Lindsey.reads.alot · Rating 5 out of 5]

Im not a poetry kind of girl but I chose this to fill a spot on my monthly book bingo board🫣 and im glad i read it. This type of thing happens so often and people are afraid to leave until its too late. 😞 Im glad this goes through the whole cycle and she gets out and enjoys being free. ☺️

[Eve L-A Witherington · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great collection showing how love can turn sour and the blissful happy relationship shows the cracks from being so all in to them pulling back or making comments that cut you deeply in the worst way and them making less effort, yet play mind games with you, making you feel less than enough for them and becoming physically, not just verbally, abusive towards you too.

It was a fantastic collection of poems to highlight abusive behaviour in relationships and how friendship can be a saviour and a lifeline in dark times and situations too.

[Hayley Phoenix-Winterburn · Rating 4 out of 5]

It sneaks up on you as you're reading - that familiar feeling of dread that the author writes about. This book of poetry is simple in its delivery as it unravels the complexity of a toxic relationship. It was a pleasure reading this book, and I wish the author all the best in re-discovering who she is and what she is capable of.

[T. Isajanyan]

Love the ending

A whole story told in a handful of words that evoke more emotion than a novel could. It starts with the highs, gets to the questions, brings you to the lows (and they are quite low) before the author finds herself. And grabs those cinnamon rolls and marble cakes (yummmm).

Being in a toxic relationship is exactly like this, and I'm glad she was able to get out.

[Lu . · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh honestly it was over a hundred pages of one long poem broken up into small pieces for me and it felt very casual however bc it’s poetry I do admire the vulnerability showcased and that being said I did bookmark 8 of the pages that I really did really like but it was just very underwhelming(I did read this in like a really short amount of time maybe 20 min)

[Lea Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author has selected poem worthy moments of her life, and it’s a good start, but at the moment, it reads as chopped up prose rather than poetry. I recommend studying more poets in the genre. The best I have come across is Kristina Mahr’s The Audacity of Heartbreak.

[Nell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was love

A short novella about the pain of misplaced love. She is right in that love does not destroy. Love does not intentionally hurt another. Love must be nurtured and kept safe. In the end she finds herself winning because she knew the difference.

[Kayla Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very simplistic but I think the structuring of the book itself was interesting.

Content Warning: toxic relationships