Just About Coping: A Real Life Drama from the Psychotherapist's Chair

by Natalie Cawley, Melissa Vaughan (Narrator)

Including an exclusive bonus conversation between the narrator and the author, Dr Natalie Cawley.

At the psychologist's clinic of an NHS hospital, Noah needs help with procrastination, Bill compulsively lies, Steph is coping with rejection and their therapist, Dr Natalie Cawley, is dealing with her own emotional crisis, breathing into a paper bag between patient sessions.

In this honest, often poignant and frequently funny memoir about training to be a psychotherapist, we meet the patients grappling with mental health issues. From OCD and addiction to self-deception and toxic relationships, Dr Natalie helps them understand and change these attempts to self-soothe.

Full of lightbulb moments, Just About Coping is a journey into our inner worlds, where the drama of our break-ups, breakdowns and breakthroughs takes place. In times of stress and suffering, Dr Natalie reveals, we are all just about coping. None of us is immune – not even your therapist.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Psychology, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, Self Help

Audible Audio

Published October 29, 2024

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I very rarely give 5 stars but I just loved this book so much. I was actually annoyed that I couldn't read it all the time and had to put it down to like work or socialise or prepare food.

It's a very easy read- in a good way, the prose doesn't mess about, there aren't pretentious paragraphs describing the weather or that weird thing all books seem to have now where every chapter has to start with a quote (WHY?!). It's simple, it's great story telling.

I was struck by the empathy that comes across, in all cases there is true compassion. Our therapists really do care about us!

Definitely recommend this to everyone. Enjoyable for sure but I think it will help with understanding that everyone is struggling with something and maybe we can meet eachother with a bit more care.

[Ally Dbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Confronterend

[Hollie Morrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

An enjoyable and engaging read. I listened to the audiobook and enjoyed the authors peaceful narration and hearing her tone inflections throughout. I love how she combined experiences with psychological and neurological explanations and information. The book had a really good flow to it, and I admire the authors vulnerability in sharing her world. As a therapist, it was interesting and, at times validating and comforting, to hear her inner dialogue related to her client work. I also enjoyed hearing how in her reflections about herself and her relationships, she had her “work hat” on at times, looking through this psychological frame to try and better understand the dynamics. I could see this book being helpful for non-therapists to gain insight into themselves, and perhaps others, as the author presents psychological theory in a relevant and easy-to-understand way. I would very much recommend the audiobook!

[Kayleigh Hagen · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 - think I’ll reread this straight away!

[Amy Tudor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and insightful. An intriguing look into the world of psychotherapy. I felt connected to all the stories and it was interesting the way their lives linked to her own.

[Anna Newell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book so much. Highly recommend

[Pip · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow

[Tim Gillett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have two main questions from having read this captivating book - has the author's severe bad luck in finding a long lasting lover changed, has she settled with a man and if not, is she content alone and though I perfectly understand why she won't tell us, what caused that catastrophic near life changing injury? I was disappointed there wasn't more of a hint.

The revelation of that episode in Dr Cawley's life is just one of several shocks for the reader towards the end of this book, having built up in one's mind the various professional relationships she's having with both patients and her own psychiatrists and psychotherapists. Yes, that's true. One of the things we take for granted when we go to see a medical or psych oracle is a thought that they're well balanced, steady in their minds, thoughts and lives, an oasis of equilibrium. Natalie Cawley's own experiences and the account she gives of at least one of the esteemed medics she sees, busts that myth.

I'm saddened that after the shock break up of her relationship with the man she was preparing to spend the rest of her life with, Dr Cawley dates one man after another in pursuit of a decent romance. But she's so unlucky, relating time after time the failures and nut jobs trying to win her affection. Some of her experiences are jaw dropping. She questions herself, sharing with the reader, whether some of the relationships come about by her over eager search to overcome that early break up and what a way to break up. I won't say more. It left me disillusioned with the modern dating game which can't find for this attractive, professional, healthy woman the man of her dreams. I think it's one of the biggest issues facing twenty first century Britain, exacerbated by the online image, degradation and abuse of traditional courting and romance which instead concentrates on success between the bed covers.

I would have liked a little more detail on the most interesting cases Dr Cawley sees as a psychotherapist, though it may be me being too nosy. If that's not possible, at least a little more of what happened in the end to some of the cases, though perhaps the good doctor doesn't know herself as she moves from patient to patient.

There's humour and seriousness in her working relationship with those lower in seniority to her position as a psychotherapist, including one laugh aloud can't believe that moment with a more senior professional when a psychiatrist comes to help and ends up rapidly disappearing.

There's an eye opening revelation about the basic living conditions endured by people we entrust with looking after us, and there's shock after shock in the problems the various patients put before her, including one or two real scary moments where Dr Cawley requires all the training and inherent skill she has to deal with what's in front of her.

Finally, there are one or two tips to take away from this book including the most stressful things that can happen to a person in their lifetime with a chance to score your own experience and work out if you need to see a shrink, and the circle on the page - something I shall try out.

Thank you Dr Natalie Cawley for such an interesting and revealing read

[Dara Golden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant book that really showed the compassion of the author towards patients and examined how interlinked different elements of psychology are to each other. Really insightful in the ways to look at problems and examine the root cause of them and how devilitating mental health issues can be on people. The story was really well done with the parallels between the authors experience and those of her patients.

The books only detractors were the facts that it at times felt clunky and failed to stick the landing on several references or call backs. It felt as though it explained things multiple times but this would probably be less of an issue if I hadn’t read it in 2 days.

Overall this is a very good book that I would recommend to most people

[Camilla Chester · Rating 3 out of 5]

I must admit that I didn’t finish this book, however, I did enjoy the upbeat, witty, chatty approach the author had at addressing mental health issues and linking her personal life and experiences to that of her professional career.

The only reason I didn’t continue is that I’m a junky for STORY and this one didn’t hold my attention I’m afraid.

So much to read and so little time- I’m moving on!

[Tara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mostly love books like these, having read similar about GPs, surgeons, junior doctors, counsellors and psychiatrists. But this one lacked any humour and felt like a chore to get through. Didn't find any of it relatable

[Emillie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful, incredible and inspiring

[Yasmin Maya · Rating 5 out of 5]

thoroughly enjoyed this ,

[Jordan Spain · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stunningly vulnerable and open peek behind the curtain from a trained professional. This book has had a profound impact on me. I applaud Dr Cawley for the strength required to write and publish it.

[Debbi Barton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found the author's poor choice in personal relationships staggering, and even more so when she chose to ignore several red flags. As a psychotherapist you would have thought she would have learnt from her previous relationships. I would have preferred if she had stuck to writing about her professional life.

[Allie Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant book, a must have for trainee therapist!

[Ginny · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The foundation for all our emotional pain is disconnection. Loss, betrayal, despair, rejection - they are all relational."

This book was exactly my cup of tea. I devoured it. 'Just About Coping' reminded me a little of Adam Kay's 'This is Going to Hurt' - but for the world of Psychotherapy within the NHS. I went through the full range of emotions reading this book - funny at times, but also heartbreaking. None of it shocked me, though, working in this field myself, I found myself nodding along at the never-ending drama that unfolds in her tiny NHS therapy room/cupboard. Dr Natalie is also brutally honest about her own personal demons, relationship disasters, and ongoing imposter syndrome - she is very much a flawed human, who grows and gains insight through her patient work and her own personal therapy and supervision. I found myself relating, and found the book as a whole validating (I often found myself thinking, if Natalie can still be a therapist and her life is THIS chaotic, I can do it too). We are all just human, and finding our own ways to cope. It's always interesting for me to read about stories from the therapy room - it's a rare glimpse into the human psyche in a confidential space, and I learnt a lot from it. I highly recommend this book to anyone with an interest in psychology, therapy, or mental health.

Thanks to Netgalley for the advanced digital copy.

[Harsh Prabha Singh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just About Coping is different from other books written by therapists. While books like Schopenhauer’s Porcupines, The Devil You Know, and Good Morning, Monster focus on the therapeutic journeys of patients, this one zooms in on the therapist’s own development. The patients are almost secondary; instead, we watch the author—first a trainee psychologist, later a PhD—navigate self-doubt, people-pleasing, bad relationships, and the struggle to establish her own identity outside of work.

At first, I found the book incredibly cringe—not because of the writing, but because of my own discomfort with seeing therapists as just people. The idea that someone in this profession could be insecure, date the wrong people, or put others on a pedestal made me uneasy. But as the book progressed, I found myself feeling compassion for her. By the end, I think my rigid idea of what a therapist "should" be had shifted—I no longer felt the need to separate the professional from the person.

While the book isn’t packed with in-depth psychological theories or case studies, it does introduce many psychological concepts—often using patient cases to illustrate them. But at its core, this is a personal story—of a woman figuring out her career, her relationships, and her sense of self, all while training to understand others. And that, in itself, made it a fascinating read.

[Mands Kitkat]

I’d give this a 3.5* hence why I can’t mark the star rating above.

I have mixed feelings twd this book. It’s an honest perspective that I haven’t heard before, and I learnt a few nuggets of useful info from it, so I have no regrets. And I’ve definitely recommended it to a few people.

However, I also found myself alarmed at the author’s taste in men and inability to spot huge red flags, and her repeated lack of awareness on this front, especially when she has been trained as part of her profession to spot these signs.
I hate to admit this but it made me question her credibility. Conscious I am probably being harsh my very visceral annoyance at her for this is very much a me-problem.

[Robert Day · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, I read a book by Carl Rogers (On Becoming a Person) and loved it so much that I went to the library and picked up all the books on Psychotherapy and borrowed them. Then I read them. This is the last on on the heap and it's a real jewel.

As I was reading, I caught myself looking for myself in the stories. Thankfully, I didn't find myself very often because in many ways this is quite a dark book.

Where it could have been funny, it wasn't, which was quite strange given the expectations set up by the author's potted history in which she confesses to have done stand-up comedy.

The tone is instead quite serious.

This is, in a sense, a memoir in which the author talks candidly (I assume) about her struggles with her own inner states. She tells us all she has learned in the process and how she has applied those experiences and her learnings to her patients (and herself (and this book, which means -to us)).

She loves a lot. Through the darkness of the struggles of the author and her patients shines the sunshine of her love, compassion, caring and a whole heap of other good stuff. She seems like she would be a good person for a person to have in their life and corner.

If and when she writes another book, I'd be on it like a shot. In fact, I'd love to read her Phd dissertation. 😊

Her takeaway message is that the most important thing is the quality of the connections we make with others. Hear hear, Dr. Cawley!

[MJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an incredibly witty, honest and well-written novel. I appreciated the candor throughout and how relatable that the author, Natalie, was. I kept thinking it was fiction as I was reading because some of the stories were so unbelievable, but it is indeed nonfiction. She's led an incredible life.

The last fifty pages are fast - I didn't want it to end. I read the acknowledgements over and over as if I could make another fifty pages appear... I hope that Natalie writes a second novel because her writing "voice" is SO fabulous.

SPOILERS BELOW

I was confused about the injury Natalie sustains at the end of the novel. I wish it would have been more clear how the injury was caused, though it is a legal issue so she can't give the entire full story, it wasn't clear to me when she was explaining what had happened.

Her breakthrough with Kelli was WONDERFUL. I felt that I was in the therapy room with her, experiencing the same breakthrough.

As a therapist in training, I appreciated the brief but informative and helpful bits about different psychotherapist resources, such as The Gloria Tapes, or discussing different therapeutic modalities. This never felt too academic in explanation or technical, just really useful.

[Catherine Clapperton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much again to Kieran Sangha for my review copy.

What an insightful, humourous and at times harrowing, account of both sides of the counselling experience.

Dr Natalie Cawley is a psychotherapist and psychologist and we get to read her account as both practitioner and patient. There are patients that walk into Natalie's tiny office, each have their own challenges and burdens. I love how respectfully Natalie describes each encounter and of course, patient confidentiality is always maintained.

Natalie doesn't shy away from sharing her own mental health events and it's so wonderful to see her introspection and personal growth. It's clear that both patient and practitioner learn from each other and need each other in equal measure.

Natalie clearly cares for all her patients and as with many professions, I'm sure, she exemplifies where her work seeps in to her personal life.

Beautifully written and one to treasure.

[Yvette Stait · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this a fascinating book. Not always an easy read for we are looking into individuals psyche which includes the author herself.

Dr. Natalie Cawley takes us on a journey as she begins to do her doctorate in psychology. We see her clients through her eyes but even more we see the author herself show her vulnerabilites as she goes from one failed relationship to another.

The author is respectful of her clients whilst gently teaching the reader she is also not afraid to show the other side when we join her as she lies on her therapists couch.

The main thing is, as the author states, we are all just about coping even the psychologist herself.

Thank you to NetGalley and Picador for the ARC.

[Rosalie Warren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Addictive reading by

I would recommend this book to anyone who wishes to understand themself and other people better, and especially anyone curious about how a psychologist works and the interplay between their inner self and professional exterior.

I found Dr Cawley's account addictive reading and had to put my own life pretty much on hold until I'd finished it (thankfully I'm retired with no major responsibilities!). I love the honesty, the insight, the bursts of humour, the easy way she conveys knowledge and encourages curiosity. I feel soothed, too, by her discussion of PTSD, hypervigilance, etc. I feel cared for and understood.

Thank you for your work, Dr Cawley, and for writing this book.

[Krazyaboutbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir follows Natalie, a trainee therapist. She is recovering from a recent breakup, to cope she starts dating a series of unsuitable men. After a partner ghosts her she seeks the services of a therapist. Her relationships seemingly mirror the cases she encounters at work. This was an informative memoir where the author gives a glimpse into the world of psychological services of the NHS and private practice. In her personal life, the reader can see that despite being in the mental health field sometimes it is not so easy to identify certain situations while you're in them. Overall, a good read and would recommend.

Disclaimer: I received this ARC from NetGalley and Pan Macmillan | Picador in exchange for a free and honest review.

[Jackyyy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audio book and it was lovely to listen to a different type of psychotherapy book for a change, specifically exploring personal/ professional development, sharing glimmers into her personal journey in therapy and relationship with her therapist while providing insight into the patients therapeutic journey with her. It was a great balance! Dr Natalie Cawley is vulnerable and honest and it serves as a reminder that psychotherapists are also human who are also trying to find ways to cope and navigate the world! It just reiterated the power of connection, not only in the therapeutic space but how as humans we naturally seek connections in every day interactions. A really great read!

[Emma Showler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley, Pan Macmillan/ Picador and Dr Natalie Cawley for this ARC, an interesting and captivating read which made me feel all manner of emotions as I was reading it. Honest, frank and not scared to share some of the deepest thoughts and experiences that Natalie has, I was moved by this novel not only because of the honesty but because of the knowledge and peppering of experiences with clients and their range of issues and disorders. Informative and personal all at the same time. There were elements omitted due to legal I’m sure but the latter part felt rushed as a result. Overall I really enjoyed this book.

[Martina · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book offers some great insights of a therapist's day-to-day cases and also draws some parallels to the therapist's own life-changing experiences. As it's said in the book, it was nice to see that others have more of less the same struggles as we do. I enjoyed getting to know all the different techniques/methods she was using to approach different situations. It is more like a memoir tho and most of the time i felt like she is building up to something bigger and life-changing which in the end wasn't the case. So that was a tiny bit disappointing for me, but it was my fault to have any expectations in the first place. Overall, i liked it very much.

[WhatFrizRead · Rating 4 out of 5]

Natalie is a psychotherapist and this book covers her journey through therapy - as the person delivering the treatment and as the patient. It's written in the present tense and is so easy to read and get into that it feels almost novel like at points.
Real life patients stories are interwoven with Crawley's own life and experience but it never feels glorified nor dramatised - it's written empathetically. I enjoyed the insight into physiotherapy and if you like real-life stories, you'll enjoy this.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant book. Witty, raw, authentic, insightful. Love how it shows we are all on our own journey of growth. It normalises our natural insecurities, anxieties and life choices. The way she writes is so conversational, that you feel like she's talking directly to you. Very well written. And in a world increasingly viewed through a lens of polished 'perfection', reality such as this becomes even more needed.

I look forward to her next book and have recommended this to so many people now both within the mental health profession and outside of it.