The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery: Flourishing as a Neurodivergent Adult

by Sol Smith

Live Authentically and Function Effectively in All Areas of Your Life

In this first-of-its-kind book, Sol Smith combines current research, his personal experience as a late-diagnosed autistic adult, and lessons learned as an educator to show how you can transcend common mischaracterizations, overcome shame, and gain the skills to flourish. Sol knows that neurodivergent people often feel that nothing they have been taught relates to how they experience the world. To resolve this conflict, they try to change or mask who they are, which can cause isolation, depression, and anxiety. He advises the Understand yourself, accept yourself, and reduce conflict. Designed to help you peel away the shell of inadequacy and self-blame that often comes with neurodivergence, The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery offers the necessary tools and knowledge to function effectively at home, at work, and in the wider world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Psychology, Self Help, Audiobook, Mental Health, Disability

Audible Audio

Published April 22, 2025

About the author

Sol Smith is a writer living in Southern CA. Sol teaches writing at various colleges and universities, along with his career as a writer. His books range from nonfiction to a Children's Horror series, to YA Paranormal Fiction, to a thinly-veiled Autobiography about traveling across the country.

Sol is an outspoken advocate for autistic and ADHD adults. He gives mini-lectures under the name Professor Sol on Tiktok and TheProfessorSol on Instagram. His unique stance on thinking and self-discovery have led him to become a leader in he realm of neurodivergence. He does coaching for AuDHD folks at ProfessorSol.com and leads an online community for support at NeuroSpicyCommunity.com

In addition to his writing and advocacy, he consults with companies to teach them more about neurodiversity and equity. He is an Educational Philosopher, an advocate for engaged fatherhood, and an avid consumer critic.

Reviews

[Bailey Anhder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alright I’m giving this book a 5/5 ⭐️ BUT I do have a couple issues with is.

This book is probably best for a “high masking” or “level 1” autistic. Not a great resource for “level 2 or 3” with severe symptoms. This is best for autistics who can live on their own.

1. This book was fantastic! Such good insight for anyone who is autistic or AuDHD! So validating. I felt like it progressed so perfectly with exactly how I felt while reading the book. I would recommend this to anyone who is high masking autistic especially if late diagnosed/self diagnosed. It truly was a fantastic book to help understand about autism. I went into this book knowing that I probably was AuDHD but now after reading this I truly know that I am. It made so much sense and helped me put so many pieces together.
If you are thinking you might be autistic then read this book!!!

2. My issue with this book is that he has some very left/liberal beliefs that are put into this book that he is trying to pass off as “autistic” and I just really struggled with a few things.
He is very LGBT+ forward (which is fine) but he has a whole section about how you should question your gender and sexual identity which I don’t agree with. I had a hard time getting past that part because it flared my justice sensitivity. He talked about questioning stereotypes around gender but then is having people embrace the opposite gender stereotypes which didn’t make sense to me. Just go with your biology and break the stereotypes of gender not try to force others to change your gender all together.
Anyway…. Big rant. But besides that section and a couple of offhanded obvious liberal biases I think this book was an amazing resource!

So do I recommend it? YES! Do I think some biases should be removed or skipped? Also yes.
Overall, incredibly validating and beautifully written. Loved reading this! ❤️

[Leija · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you found this book valuable I’d highly recommend checking out Unmasking Autism and Devon Price’s new book Unmasking for Life. Unfortunately Sol didn’t do it for me. His explanations were lacking critical historical and social context and he does not provide meaningful discussion of intersectionality in describing autistic experiences, particularly racial and patriarchal oppression. His advice is lacking a systemic analysis. It reads more as “hey, think you’re autistic? well, this worked for me (a white cis straight man)! the end”

I was waiting to see if the more practical chapter at the end would resonate any differently, but when I finally got there I was disappointed. I liked the idea of self-maintenance instead of self-care and breaking it down into components (maintain, recover, replenish).

There were a few other lines throughout where he described himself in ways that resonated, like “I’ll never be a car, I’m a really nice boat” or growing up thinking his experience was singular, but actually there’s a whole universe of people who can relate and they’re autistic. But again, for me, Unmasking Autism did it all but better.

[Patty (IheartYA311) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting, insightful and easy to read. I expected some deeper information, though.

[sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

i know i’ve been ranting a lot on here lately, and if someone else ever reads this, please tell me if i’m overreacting, but this book just gives me the ick. the (white cis) author seems to have a thing for bioessentialism (shocking, i know), and apparently also a personal vendetta against people who own crystals?? he writes with this weird condescending certainty, and it often feels like he uses his autism as a free pass to say whatever he wants. note to self: check author’s tiktok next time. sadly, i didn’t learn any new practical tips (and even disagreed with a few), and this mostly felt like wasted time, although it was, as always, a small comfort to see some experiences translated into words.

p.s.: i swear i can also write positive book reviews, i’m just too lazy most of the time…

[sir chester snickerdoodle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a breath of fresh air and enlightenment for me. It helped me see there were areas I’ve been masking my entire life in order to conceal my autism. More than anything, it’s given me practical ideas and is inspiring me to drop the mask and just be who I am (no matter who may laugh and even though people will undoubtedly not understand).

The thought of being unabashedly me is unshackling and it feels good.

[Davita Ritchie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wanted to Love It, But It Missed the Mark
I really wanted to connect with this book, but unfortunately, it didn’t land for me. Sol Smith’s narration was painfully slow and monotone—I had to bump up the speed on Audible just to stay engaged, and even then, it was hard to listen for long stretches without zoning out.

Content-wise, it felt more like a long, meandering internal monologue than a focused or practical guide. There were moments of clarity, especially when Sol shared the experiences of his clients—those real-life glimpses were easily the strongest parts of the book and added much-needed depth. I wish there had been more of that.

Overall, the book came across as underdeveloped. It felt more like a rough draft or stream-of-consciousness journaling than a polished resource. I appreciate the intention behind it, but the execution just didn’t offer much new insight or structured support for neurodivergent adults looking for practical tools or guidance.

[M Aghazarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe 3.5 but worth rounding up? Worth reading but it wasn't quite what I was looking for.
This was interesting but I wanted fewer relatable anecdotes and validation and more practical advice on what to DO. In that regard, I wish the beginning bits were shorter and the later chapters were longer. I took issue with a little bit of advice (the bit about anxiety about finances hit a little too hard and made me anxious FOR them) but I appreciate the very different perspective about what it means to live in the current moment.

[Wendy Chamberlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are late-diagnosed, like me, this is an incredibly useful guidebook. What this book did for me,was provide words and descriptions for behaviors and ways of thinking I had otherwise just described and shoved into the very non-descriptive category of “that’s just who I am”. Highly recommend.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have learned a lot from Sol Smith’s videos but did not like this book quite as much. As others have noted, the more practical stuff at the end (related to preventing/coming out of burnout and unmasking) was the most helpful, but it took quite a while to get there. It felt like the title promised more “how to” than was actually in the book, so it might just be a case of mis-matched expectations.

I was exploring this as a resource for some autistic friends but they are all somewhat conservative religious folks so they also would find Smith’s political perspective distracting. Not the right book for that particular need.

[Stephanie Gillis · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great confirmation of myself in a lot of these pages but one particular section sat a wrong with me so i had to take away a star for the amount of time I was uncomfortable listening to that portion of the book. The rest I thought was a fantastic look into the autism and the complexity of it's presentation in various individuals, the scientific side was very interesting as well and I also hope that one say someone will look into the synaptic trimming the author talked about because I find that really fascinating!

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️ I stumbled upon Mr. Smith on instagram, and watched exactly two “Autism Simulator” videos before I decided to buy this book. I think it’s an absolutely fantastic resource for newly/late diagnosed Autistics. I appreciate that he skips over rehashing some of the bits he knows are done well in other resources, but does provide some very consumable versions of the neuroscience (e.g., especially around mirror neurons, which I think is lost among the more frequent discussion of synaptic pruning). I will definitely add this to the list of resources I recommend to patients after diagnosis.

[Ingrid · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite books about autism, and seeing that i have read a lot of autism books, that means a lot! Only downside was that it was too short! I would say that this book complements "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price and i would suggest every autistic person to read these two books.

I find this is the first book i have read that actually explained bottom-up thinking in a way i could understand as well as why rumination happens and how to get out. The information is detailed enough to be informative without feeling bogged down by irrelevant complication and dry jargon. I read it in a day, but have bookmarks to return to it later.

[Doug Puchko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommend for anyone working through better understanding the potential impacts of their own neurodivergent symptoms or of those in their life. The book mostly focuses on ASD, but has relevant overlap with other Neurodivergent symptoms that may be helpful to have validated for yourself or better understand the internal processing and alternative perception that neurodivergent people might have, which can impact their behaviors, sensory perceptions, stims as well as the social difficulties they can experience in personal and their professional relationships. 9/10

[Nikki Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️

My sis recommended this book 4 times and finally got to it. One of those books that changes your perspective on everything you didn’t know. The definition of what it means to be autistic is wider that what is understood. A must read.

[Autumn Matthews · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery by Sol Smith, but it ultimately fell flat. As someone working in the field of autism and twice-exceptionality, I found the book lacking in evidence-based research and depth. Much of the content felt recycled—nothing particularly new or insightful if you’re already familiar with neurodiversity work.

Advice like “just take a breath” might work in a self-help book, but here it felt overly simplistic and unhelpful for the nuanced challenges many autistic adults face. If you’re looking for something research-informed or innovative, this probably isn’t it. Might be a decent intro for someone brand new to the topic, but not for practitioners, researchers, or autistic adults seeking real tools or perspective.

[Gee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I follow Sol on TikTok and I love how he explains and explores the nuances of his experience. Listening to the audiobook was brilliant and I'm glad he narrated it.
I also liked that he himself is a late diagnosed autistic and spoke about the trauma and complexity behind that for himself and others. This is the first book I've read about neruodivergence aimed at adults and I really think this is needed.

I really enjoyed this and it gave me a lot to think about. Some things I already knew and others brand new information.
I enjoyed the personal anecdotes from his life, career, family and patients.
He also uses journal articles, scientific information and studies to back up what he is saying. I also liked the use of metaphors which helped put things into perspective.

One of my favourite things was exploring different things on the scale to show traits of ASD. From sensory difficulties, social, and literal brain differences so varied to show it is a spectrum.

Sol spoke of lockdown and how a lot of people really struggled being away from the office and missing that social connection. A lot of people discovered things about themselves liked neruodivergence, sexuality, gender etc. and this was a time to have a break from society, social norms and be your authentic self whatever that may look like. I really liked seeing how he and his family grew into who they are and having that level of depth and understanding.

Peer pressure was also funny to think about as Sol stated he has never understood it or been tempted. If he doesn't want to do something he won't and I feel similar and it was good to have that put into words.

The last three chapters give helpful and practical advice on how to be your authentic self, how to unmask and recover after potentially years of people pleasing.

Burnout: A tool for recovery and balance
Maintain - self maintenance - exercise running yoga, sleep, food
Recover
Reload

Mindfulness - focus on where your feet are, what is and is not possible
Start where you are rather than where you want to be
You are not your thoughts and feelings
I enjoyed how Sol phrased things, easy, accessible and how ASD folks tend to get so trapped internally on ruminating that it can be a challenge to get out of that trap once we're in it. How it is comment for ASD folks to intellectualise rather than feel them. Mindfulness as a tool to slow everything down, to use it even when you don't need it to strengthen that skill.

Stopping ruminating: Think really hard - suduko, stroops affect
Endorphines- jumping Jack's, running
Dopamine - special interest

Ruminate, label, assess, reassign

Overall a brilliant book. I will be discussing and exploring this for a long time.
Thank you for liking my review Sol and thanks for all the work you put into your content and craft as it has been really helpful!

[kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no idea if I’m neurodivergent or autistic. I have not been officially diagnosed. I always thought I was on the spectrum in some way as I relate to a lot of things in this book.

The author writes authentically about his life and things he has coped with. He is very transparent. His journey does not mean you have to have a journey like his. I got the feeling of acceptance, and that we are all different in terms of experiences. I could resonate with some of the things that he described and has gone through, which was validating.

He is very interesting and his journey of discovery was a bit later in life. He delves into topics like masking and self stimulation. Coping with work stresses. He really stresses therapy if you need it don’t be afraid to get it. He seems to have a well rounded approach to life and coping in a healthy way dealing with his own autism. He also talks about the LGBTQ community as well and is very supportive. The mental health issues were very well covered too that can come with autism. He also discusses a bit about food regulation, which I did not know could go along with autism. That was interesting to find out about.

I would recommend this book if you are looking into learning about autism, especially if you are having questions. It’s always nice to get somebody’s personal viewpoint and their journey. My daughter actually read this book and resonated quite a bit. She recommended I read it as well. I am glad I did.

[Catherine Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sol Smith’s The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery is a powerful and necessary book, offering a deeply personal yet research-backed exploration of autism and self-acceptance. Drawing from his own experiences as an autistic adult, parent and educator, Smith challenges the misconceptions that have long shaped societal perceptions of autism. Rather than encouraging neurodivergent individuals to “fix” themselves to fit a neurotypical mold, he provides the tools for understanding, accepting, and advocating for their themselves.

Masking often leads to anxiety, isolation, and burnout. Sol’s personal insights through his own experiences and coaching other autistics emphasize that self-acceptance is not only about personal growth but also about resisting the shame imposed by an ableist society. Through strategies for unmasking, managing imposter syndrome, and navigating relationships, he equips autistic readers with tools to thrive on their own terms, as well as establish healthy boundaries.

The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery is essential reading for both neurodivergent and neurotypical audiences, fostering a deeper understanding of autism and the importance of creating space for all identities to flourish. If you are autistic or have a loved one who is - read this book.

[Geraldine Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a parent of a late diagnosed neurodivergent person who has been looking for guidance in understanding what it is like for my person to have to deal with neurodivergence. I've read numerous books, listened to numerous tapes and found most of them lacking in what I needed. What I needed was to discover this most enlightening, informative and special resource by Sol Smith. I cannot express my delight in finally getting to the understanding of what it is like to be neurodivergent and what it takes to accept and live with it. My most appreciated issue, which was explained so well in this book, is how to recognize the entire picture of the daily life of this part of humanity. It has helped me have a more caring and meaningful relationship with my person who is someone I truly love. The feeling of understanding that some things are not done with malice or judgement has opened my eyes to what I hope will be a growing alliance so we can both accept each other and work together to achieve more happiness and cohesiveness. Thank you Mr Smith for this opportunity to be a better person relating to my neurodivergent person. I'm a much better person myself for reading this must read book.

[alexander shay · Rating 4 out of 5]

"All the mechanisms that maintain your mask were built without your own cognitive effort. They require some cognitive effort to maintain, but they were held together by the belief that you were experiencing the same reality as everyone else. You can't unlearn the fact that your brain didn't change to fit your environment, and you will emotionally and cognitively overheat if you don't unmask."

This book covers a lot of different areas of being autistic, and I would recommend it to anyone on the spectrum but especially those who want to, have started, or already have unmasked and are struggling to get by in the world as a result. Smith addresses so many things I have thought about, from the structure of neurotypical society to why we hit burnout and how it affects us the way it does. He goes through the different diagnostic criteria and challenges the perspective of it and the harm it causes autistics; he addresses differences across several areas between autistics and neurotypicals and how that can negatively affect the functioning of autistic people, and honestly just explains things in a way that finally makes sense for me personally after so many years wondering why the rules never made sense, why I'm so tired all the time, why I continue to struggle with the same things year after year, and more.

[TaraSK · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book (and other tools produced by Professor Sol for Autistic Adults) has been life changing for me, and I think it could do the same for others like me. It should be required reading for anyone who has an autistic person in their family because it is hereditary and so many people are undiagnosed and suffer needlessly in lonely silence.

Sol's bravery in opening up about his own experiences and self analysis gives this book depth and insight that other books "about autism" lack. His obvious passion for his subject shines through his engaging narrative making this book relatable in ways that flow between the cringeworthy and comical. For those of us misfits that have always felt out of step with the world, the feeling of being understood that this book brings is a real gift.

I can't recommend this book enough.

[Steen · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75 stars for me. I listened to the audiobook, narrated by the author. He’s so endearing and affirming. I’m on my self-diagnosis journey and have been getting frustrated by the resources I find and consume. This was recommended on a Reddit thread and it has been the one that’s resonated the most with me. A mix of science, personal anecdotes and client anecdotes, I thought it was a great mix for a “newbie” guide. Many of the questions I had naturally explored were laid out in this book, half the time I thought “get out of my headdddd”! I learned a lot and look forward to learning more about myself!

[Lois Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up as a late-diagnosed autistic trying to come to terms with decades of masking and mental health issues. It was incredibly validating to read a self-help book by an autistic author; his insights were life-changing to me. It was particularly healing to find out that cognitive-behavioral therapy is often less effective for neurodivergent people. At one point, reading techniques for dealing with autism-related burnout, which are deceptively simple but very powerful, I actually wept. I recommend wholeheartedly.

[Kylee · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had hopes for this book after having found some of Sol Smith's videos helpful. This book was a disappointment overall as it was heavily focused on interweaving a progressive sexual ethic throughout, with themes of trandgenderism, one's sexual attractions as a fundamental identity, and gender fluidity, among other leftist ideological viewpoints.

Had this book focused on Autism as the main point, it might have been a better read. As so much of the "meat" of the autism focus was lost in the fluff of other topics, the whole book really was a dud and a waste of time overall.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! Helps you get thru your thoughts…what was/is really happening. Having always thought I was different, Socially awkward, a control freak, you name it I thought I was different. And I am but not in the way I thought I was. So much to unpack here…took me a long time to get thru this book only because I had to digest it and figure out what I was feeling…Sol didn’t tell me how I was supposed to deal with things, he told me I had to unpack my thoughts and feelings. And so I did/have been.


Anyway…would I recommmend? Yep! Already have.

[Natalie Cichy · Rating 5 out of 5]

By far the most relatable walk-through-life-as-an-autistic adult — from evaluating past experiences through a different lens, to understand how one might experience day to day situations now. Helpful for further understanding myself, and others close to me. Lots of detail and explanation, without being clinical. Highly recommend this read for anyone along their own journey to self-discovery, or for anyone looking to gain a deeper understanding of someone close to them.

[Katrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery
By Sol Smith
Format: Audiobook
Rating: 4/5⭐️

This is a good, clear primer for the so many of us who, later in life, realized, “Oh, hey!—maybe there’s a reason I keep experiencing these same patterns over and over again.”

The realization that I was not, in fact, an actual alien left off on the wrong planet, but most likely undiagnosed autistic was a significant point in my life. Books like these are helpful in sorting through the murk to find some clarity.

[india perryman · Rating 3 out of 5]

uhhhhh…

Definitely a few gems in this book (mostly in the beginning), worth noting. But generally speaking, the title is a bit misleading. The book went downhill for me (hard for me to finish), when it started to read like a typical self-help book marketed towards Neurodivergent individuals (I felt preyed upon). As someone else mentioned, there wasn’t a lot of diversity in this book or talk re: intersectionality - which to me, made some of the things he mentioned … confusing and contradictory.

[Alyssa Woodwyk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good book! I’ve been discovering my own autistic self lately, thanks to finding Sol on TikTok and finally making me feel affirmed. This book provides a comprehensive guide to autism and ways to manage yourself as an autistic. Thank you Sol for the
much needed guide on how to thrive as an autistic!

[Bri · Rating 5 out of 5]

*insert 'the woman was too stunned to speak' meme*

I've been on the self diagnosis path on and off for about two years now and I keep thinking myself out of it. I've done a lot and I mean A LOT of research, analysis and self reflection. One of Sol's TikToks popped up on my FYP and I decided to give this book a shot and it slapped me in the face so hard (in the best way possible).