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Don't Do Anything I Would Do: Essays on Dating, Divorce, and Romantic Delusions
Don’t Do Anything I Would Do
A Memoir About Love, Heartbreak, and the Beautiful, Brutal Art of Reinvention
It’s giving unhinged but wise older sister energy—the one who’s been through it all and is here to spill every chaotic, heart-wrenching, and hilarious detail over cocktails.
At its heart, Don’t Do Anything I Would Do is a memoir about love—the kind that makes you believe in fate, the kind that knocks you flat on your ass, and the kind that forces you to rebuild yourself from the ground up. It’s about big love and even bigger heartbreaks.
Divorce. Situationships. Love-bombing. Ghosting. Grand gestures. Gut-wrenching betrayals.
Checking his location even when you swore you wouldn’t. Making playlists instead of moving on. Chemistry so intense it makes you temporarily lose your mind. And the absolute disaster that is modern dating.
But it’s also about what happens after—when the dust settles, when the texts stop, when you’re left with nothing but your own reflection and a stay stuck or start over.
More than anything, this book is
✔️ Owning your mistakes
✔️ Ignoring every red flag in the name of “what if”
✔️ Romanticizing chaos (until you don’t)
✔️ Surviving heartbreak and thriving in the aftermath
Because following your heart doesn’t always lead to the picture-perfect ending—but it will always lead you back to yourself. And sometimes, in the most unexpected ways, it leads you exactly where you were meant to be.
With brutal honesty, razor-sharp wit, and the kind of self-awareness that only comes from truly embarrassing life choices, bestselling author Cara Alwill peels back the layers of modern love, heartbreak, and reinvention in all its messy, soul-crushing, wildly romantic glory.
Praise for Don’t Do Anything I Would Do
“Cara is an edgier East Village Carrie Bradshaw—a lover girl writer, but modern and unequivocally DOWNTOWN.”
—Zara Barrie, author of Girl Stop Passing Out In Your Makeup
“If you’re a fan of Sex and the City, you’ll fall in love with this book. It’s witty, empowering, and so relatable.”
—Amazon reviewer
“Reading this felt like watching SATC in the 90s—I didn’t want it to end. This belongs on screen.”
—Lorraine Toth
“Like the 10-minute version of ‘All Too Well’—you’ll be wrecked in the best way.”
—Amazon reviewer
“This must become a movie or a series!”
—Amazon reviewer
This book is for you
You’ve ever gone back to a situationship you swore you were done with
You’ve waited for a text that never came
You’ve questioned whether timing really is everything
You’ve had to burn your life down just to find yourself again
Because love, even when it breaks you, has a way of putting you back together. Because hope, even when it feels impossible, has a way of finding you again. And because at the end of the day, the most powerful love story is the one where you finally choose yourself.
A Memoir About Love, Heartbreak, and the Beautiful, Brutal Art of Reinvention
It’s giving unhinged but wise older sister energy—the one who’s been through it all and is here to spill every chaotic, heart-wrenching, and hilarious detail over cocktails.
At its heart, Don’t Do Anything I Would Do is a memoir about love—the kind that makes you believe in fate, the kind that knocks you flat on your ass, and the kind that forces you to rebuild yourself from the ground up. It’s about big love and even bigger heartbreaks.
Divorce. Situationships. Love-bombing. Ghosting. Grand gestures. Gut-wrenching betrayals.
Checking his location even when you swore you wouldn’t. Making playlists instead of moving on. Chemistry so intense it makes you temporarily lose your mind. And the absolute disaster that is modern dating.
But it’s also about what happens after—when the dust settles, when the texts stop, when you’re left with nothing but your own reflection and a stay stuck or start over.
More than anything, this book is
✔️ Owning your mistakes
✔️ Ignoring every red flag in the name of “what if”
✔️ Romanticizing chaos (until you don’t)
✔️ Surviving heartbreak and thriving in the aftermath
Because following your heart doesn’t always lead to the picture-perfect ending—but it will always lead you back to yourself. And sometimes, in the most unexpected ways, it leads you exactly where you were meant to be.
With brutal honesty, razor-sharp wit, and the kind of self-awareness that only comes from truly embarrassing life choices, bestselling author Cara Alwill peels back the layers of modern love, heartbreak, and reinvention in all its messy, soul-crushing, wildly romantic glory.
Praise for Don’t Do Anything I Would Do
“Cara is an edgier East Village Carrie Bradshaw—a lover girl writer, but modern and unequivocally DOWNTOWN.”
—Zara Barrie, author of Girl Stop Passing Out In Your Makeup
“If you’re a fan of Sex and the City, you’ll fall in love with this book. It’s witty, empowering, and so relatable.”
—Amazon reviewer
“Reading this felt like watching SATC in the 90s—I didn’t want it to end. This belongs on screen.”
—Lorraine Toth
“Like the 10-minute version of ‘All Too Well’—you’ll be wrecked in the best way.”
—Amazon reviewer
“This must become a movie or a series!”
—Amazon reviewer
This book is for you
You’ve ever gone back to a situationship you swore you were done with
You’ve waited for a text that never came
You’ve questioned whether timing really is everything
You’ve had to burn your life down just to find yourself again
Because love, even when it breaks you, has a way of putting you back together. Because hope, even when it feels impossible, has a way of finding you again. And because at the end of the day, the most powerful love story is the one where you finally choose yourself.
111 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 4, 2025
17 people are currently reading
65 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
April 6, 2025
This is a beautifully written book about the author’s love stories with many different men as she navigates being single after her divorce. She does a great job of depicting the ups and downs of modern dating in this era. In a world of dating apps, situationships, ghosting, breadcrumbing, and the emotionally unavailable men, the feelings and emotions that the author expresses through her written words are quite relatable. The heartbreak and pain of being involved with people who are never truly quite yours is sadly a common reality. But the journey the author takes the readers on is a fun, hilarious, and sad rollercoaster that makes this for a fun read. Bring this on your next beach vacation!!! It’s also a very short book. I read this in a day. Very easy to digest.
Highly recommend this!
Highly recommend this!
April 10, 2025
A must-read for any smart, savvy woman who - in spite of it all- won’t give up on love. Cara is not just a wonderfully talented writer but a rock star human who amplifies other voices through her workshops and readings.
April 5, 2025
Best thing she has ever written so far - I devoured it in less than a day and could feel every emotion written in these pages. Love love love.
December 9, 2025
Истинска ,сурова и откровена. „Не прави нищо, което аз бих направила“ е любовна история, която започва и свършва със самата теб.
Ако мога с три думи да опиша тази книга, то те ще са истинска, болезнена, освобождаваща. Преди няколко дни завърших този розов бонбон, който в обвивката си крие не захар, а сурова истина, нежност и много самоосъзнаване. Това не е просто книга за разбито сърце, а малък наръчник за това как да се събереш отново, когато си се разпаднал на части.
Кара Алвил разказва с откровеност и хумор, с онази енергия на по-мъдрата, леко откачена приятелка, която е минала през всичко и не се страхува да ти каже истината. Всяка глава е смесица от смях и болка, от уроци и надежда.
Книгата преминава през всички лица на любовта-от онази, която те кара да вярваш в съдбата, до онази, която те събаря на колене. Тя говори за любов, която те издига високо, и за такава, която те оставя да събираш себе си отново от прахта.
Пет звезди.
За любовта, която ни променя. За болката, която ни учи. И за онзи момент, в който най-накрая избираме себе си.
Ако мога с три думи да опиша тази книга, то те ще са истинска, болезнена, освобождаваща. Преди няколко дни завърших този розов бонбон, който в обвивката си крие не захар, а сурова истина, нежност и много самоосъзнаване. Това не е просто книга за разбито сърце, а малък наръчник за това как да се събереш отново, когато си се разпаднал на части.
Кара Алвил разказва с откровеност и хумор, с онази енергия на по-мъдрата, леко откачена приятелка, която е минала през всичко и не се страхува да ти каже истината. Всяка глава е смесица от смях и болка, от уроци и надежда.
Книгата преминава през всички лица на любовта-от онази, която те кара да вярваш в съдбата, до онази, която те събаря на колене. Тя говори за любов, която те издига високо, и за такава, която те оставя да събираш себе си отново от прахта.
Пет звезди.
За любовта, която ни променя. За болката, която ни учи. И за онзи момент, в който най-накрая избираме себе си.
May 23, 2025
I read this in one sitting. It looks short, but is shorter with skipped pages. It really brought me back to my NYC dating days, minus the dating apps. I feel like Cara did things backwards - dating and having “fun” in her 40’s and getting married in her 20’s. She is addicted to the high of getting that text and I don’t miss those days. If I ever write a book, this will be my inspiration. It’s short essays about various men her life. I don’t know the author’s work or podcast, so maybe it is more meaningful for those people, but I really enjoyed the anticdotes and being able to say, I’m glad that’s not me. A lot of these men she should have given up on a lot sooner.
April 13, 2025
A book so well written you feel as though you are living it. Your heart beats faster, you find yourself holding your breath at parts, your body tenses up in anticipation....and then the ending leaves you at the edge of your seat. That is what Cara's newest book did for me. I have been following her "life journey" for 11 years now since meeting her back in 2014 and the growth that showed up in her newest novel is outstanding!
As a fellow Author it made me want to scream out "When is the sequel coming", just like I used to do at the end of my beloved Sex and the City episodes in the 90's. It also made me want to write my next book. It gave me the courage to put my raw words out there for the world to see as well.
I totally identified with certain parts of the book - it was as if she had read my diary. If you are a single and divorced female I have no doubt you will also be like "how did she know?" as you read it.
I can not wait for the next one Cara. This book also has the potential for a SATC type series no doubt. The candid "BTS" bits are what viewers crave, that voyeur vantage point into a life that is wild and unscripted.
A must read. I basically read the whole book in one sitting. It is also a book that you will want to share with your newly single friends. Kind of like a "this is dating in your 40's heads-up".
As a fellow Author it made me want to scream out "When is the sequel coming", just like I used to do at the end of my beloved Sex and the City episodes in the 90's. It also made me want to write my next book. It gave me the courage to put my raw words out there for the world to see as well.
I totally identified with certain parts of the book - it was as if she had read my diary. If you are a single and divorced female I have no doubt you will also be like "how did she know?" as you read it.
I can not wait for the next one Cara. This book also has the potential for a SATC type series no doubt. The candid "BTS" bits are what viewers crave, that voyeur vantage point into a life that is wild and unscripted.
A must read. I basically read the whole book in one sitting. It is also a book that you will want to share with your newly single friends. Kind of like a "this is dating in your 40's heads-up".
July 29, 2025
3.5 ⭐️ en námunda upp því ég er gamall aðdáandi Cöru og hún hefur síðustu 10-12 árin haft mikil áhrif á mig að mörgu leyti.
Bókin hefði gjarnan mátt vera aðeins lengri. Ekki kannski beint neinn gullaldarprósi en hún er hraðlesin og góð skemmtun. Að því sögðu er hér einnig að finna nokkrar mjög fallegar lýsingar á ástinni og ástarsorg, sérstaklega í síðasta kaflanum, sem fjallar um stóru ástina hennar. Margir af mönnunum sem hún fjallar um fram að því eru hins vegar þess eðlis að mann langaði að teygja sig inn í bókina og blokka þá fyrir hana. 😅
Heilt yfir skemmtileg chick-lit æviminningafrásögn, sérstaklega fyrir þau sem kannast við höfundinn.
Bókin hefði gjarnan mátt vera aðeins lengri. Ekki kannski beint neinn gullaldarprósi en hún er hraðlesin og góð skemmtun. Að því sögðu er hér einnig að finna nokkrar mjög fallegar lýsingar á ástinni og ástarsorg, sérstaklega í síðasta kaflanum, sem fjallar um stóru ástina hennar. Margir af mönnunum sem hún fjallar um fram að því eru hins vegar þess eðlis að mann langaði að teygja sig inn í bókina og blokka þá fyrir hana. 😅
Heilt yfir skemmtileg chick-lit æviminningafrásögn, sérstaklega fyrir þau sem kannast við höfundinn.
August 9, 2025
Devoured it
I don't think I ever read a book so fast lol. I'm a hopeless romantic so this book was right up my alley. It felt like a "Sex and the City" episode. It wax raw. It was honest. I low-key identified with some of the things she was feeling and to watch her life unfold now, its exciting!
I don't think I ever read a book so fast lol. I'm a hopeless romantic so this book was right up my alley. It felt like a "Sex and the City" episode. It wax raw. It was honest. I low-key identified with some of the things she was feeling and to watch her life unfold now, its exciting!
November 26, 2025
I see why someone would like this but for me this was just… I didn’t learn anything from it and it’s marketed as a guide to love? This was just a woman who degraded herself for mediocre men and I got so mad after she went back to them every time. I understand it but it just didn’t have the advice I expected to see.
August 9, 2025
to good to put down
Loved this so much, finished it in two days! A must read for any woman who has ever felt cursed in love and needs to know she isn’t the only one
Loved this so much, finished it in two days! A must read for any woman who has ever felt cursed in love and needs to know she isn’t the only one
January 1, 2026
Полезно, прочетох я в първия ден от новата година и подейства отрезвяващо
January 7, 2026
soooo easy to read and relatable
August 9, 2025
A fun insight into the woman's world of dating, told from a very personal space within the author's feelings.
I feel that she achieved the intended tone of "Telling my friends over coffee (or wine) about each new episode in my bumpy love life".
Some of the humour was great, and the pop references were on point.
It loses one star for leaning a bit too heavy on the "letter to my old self" tone in the last two chapters, and the style in some places is too much "podcast stories" and not enough actual storytelling.
I feel that she achieved the intended tone of "Telling my friends over coffee (or wine) about each new episode in my bumpy love life".
Some of the humour was great, and the pop references were on point.
It loses one star for leaning a bit too heavy on the "letter to my old self" tone in the last two chapters, and the style in some places is too much "podcast stories" and not enough actual storytelling.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews