“I Was a Teenage Slasher” by Stephen Graham Jones was one of the most anticipated novels of 2024 for me. In case you didn’t know, I am a huge fan of SGJ because everything he writes is gold. The way he writes his slasher scenes has truly made him the “king of slashers” in novels, and I was ecstatic to read a book like this about a teenage slasher.
Before I begin my review, here are all the trigger warnings I found while reading…
- Violence against animals
- Bullying
- Suicide
If any of these trigger you, please do not read this novel. Moving along, I loved how the intro hooked me because of how creepy it was. It felt so real. I’m talking about true crime levels real. I got major memoir and autobiography vibes from it, which was mind-blowing since it was so freaky being told this story through the eyes and mind of a teenage slasher. The way SGJ wrote the start of this novel was surreal, featuring a high school setting and beginning around a house party our teenage slasher wanted to attend to see a girl he liked.
This was so relatable to me since I remember those epic parties and moments during my high school days many moons ago. Once that event happened, this novel opened up like you wouldn’t believe. Don’t worry; I would never spoil anything for you, but wow, this was such a great horror reading experience.
The story is incredible and, well, horrific. It was terrifying to read Tolly’s story, witness his murder spree, and the reasoning behind why he’s a slasher. I also loved his friendship with Amber and how, with all the female characters, you have this deep curiosity trying to figure out who will end up being the famous “final girl” of this story, as seen countless times in slasher movies. Once that was revealed towards the end, I couldn’t believe it, especially with how it ended, which was brilliant. Bloody brilliant.
Reading this felt like one of those confessions serial killers write before their time comes, and it just added another layer of horror to everything. It felt real, raw, and authentic, and you truly connected with all the characters you encountered. This is a jam-packed slasher novel and would make for a great movie adaptation because it’s so crazy good you’ll still feel the scars when finished.
Besides the story, the horror is on a whole other level here. Everything you’ve come to expect from SGJ is here, but it's of the extreme slasher variety. I loved it, and yes, I started to make funny faces while reading around the 5% mark, so I knew it would only get crazier over time.
Now, I know this is a popular topic for his readers, so I want to explain it. Here’s the thing with SGJ: Many horror readers either love or hate him, mainly because he is very wordy with his writing. He has always been a slow-burn kind of author in all the novels I have read by him so far, and sometimes, it takes away from the book. It is worth it, though. Stick with it. Be patient. Take your time and immerse yourself in his writing because it’s magnificent. Some parts of “I Was a Teenage Slasher” dragged on due to the excessive descriptions, conversations, and events that weren’t all needed, but I wanted to let everyone know his writing style because it's still worth reading. This novel would have been perfect for me if that had been tightened up in that regard, but I still loved reading it.
You will enjoy this novel tremendously if you grew up as I did in the amazing 80s era of slasher horror flicks. It embodies everything you love about serial killers, knives, blood, and final girls while taking you deep into what makes it all so sacred for us horror brats. I loved reading about the intricacies of a slasher/final girl relationship, and wow, what an ending! It was one of the best and bloodiest showdowns I’ve read in a horror novel, and the climax leading up to it was wild. Besides the bloodshed and body counts, it was also a heartfelt read and one of the best horror novels I’ve read in 2024.
I give “I Was a Teenage Slasher” by Stephen Graham Jones a 4/5 for being one hell of a bloody ride. It had great characters, epic slasher moments, crazy hallucinations, emotional moments, and hilarious dark humor. It honestly reads like a love letter to the slasher genre. As a huge horror fan, especially slashers, I will remember this novel for many years. It wasn’t perfect, but it still delivered when it mattered most. Some parts dragged on, especially around some of the dialogue parts, but this is still worth reading if you love horror of the slasher variety. You will not be disappointed.
Schting.