I Don't Care If My Best Friend's Mom is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her

by Lacey Noonan

Life for Jason is one wild experience after another.


But then one night he has a chance encounter with a person he thought was but a distant memory. The meeting dredges up a long-forgotten mystery, and suddenly he is trapped on a roller coaster of mystery, danger and wildness—Is it more wildness than he can handle?


Now he is on the run with his star-crossed lover. Will they reach a shower in time, or will the natural heat that burns within her consume her AND him? Will his beautiful, bestial, furry lover tear him to pieces with her giant claws in a lusty rage? Or will she tenderly lather him up, rinse and clean his naked, muscular and strong (for a human) body with scented soaps in a ritual of her people going back thousands of generations in a shower appropriately large enough to fit him and the gigantic, yet tender and svelte creature together?


Find out the answers to these questions only in this seriously wild, hot and bothered new novella from writer Lacey Noonan.

Genres: Fiction, Erotica, Fantasy

ebook

First published August 4, 2014

About the author

Well, let me tell you about good ol’ Lacey Noonan.

She lives on the East Coast with her husband and crazy, cuddly dog. When not sailing, sampling fine whiskeys or making veggie tacos, she loves to read and write steamy, strange, silly, psychological and sexy stories. She revels in a good turn of phrase and a good crack of the whip.

In her vanilla life, she is a web designer and developer.

Reviews

[Kristina]

On this episode of ‘What’s Going On With That Cover?’

Design hack: when you can’t decide on one font, use them all!

It still doesn’t distract from the enthusiastic grope-action happening.

[Paul (Life In The Slow Lane) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would you like a side of furball with that hot, sweaty lovin' sir?

I could start this review off with a joke about Bigfoot-like: Why is Bigfoot so good at hiding? Because he owes Chuck Norris money. I won't do that though. This story is funny enough as it is.

Quite a hoot to read if you have a spare hour or two and it has a good surprise ending. There were some steamy moments in this story, where I found myself a little red-faced. I must be a prude. On the plus side, it expanded my vocabulary considerably.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know what to say about this one that isn't already in the title.

[Adriel Howell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a wild ride with a very interesting plot twist at the end. Very riveting and a good read with great friends. Not the best erotica I've read but gave me a great night with the friends :)

[Kate Jonuska · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes, Sasquatch erotica. This book was supposed to be a gag Christmas gift, and it served that purpose well. However, this piece of short fiction (because ain't no way this is a traditional 'book' or even a novella) was creative, witty and drop-dead hilarious. I loved it. Lacey Noonan is a treasure.

[nathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this bit of outlandish erotica as gift from a White Elephant exchange. It is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous, ludicrous, and uncomfortable thing I've ever read. I loved it. Noonan is either a very sincere quack or an expert troll. Either way, hilariously out-there.

[Kyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Weird

Has a twist ending you will not see coming. I really do not like minimum word post for acceptance. There

[Lukas Tallent · Rating 5 out of 5]

So relatable!

[Brooklyn Lohmeyer]

So you may be wondering why the F I read this book. Yeah, same. Well, let me tell you. I saw it in a Monster Smut FB group and sent it to my fellow Smut Gremlins as a JOKE. And how did they repay my humor? By asking our followers to vote on whether I should read it. Obviously, 100% of the voters wanted to see me suffer. So here I am, giving the people what they want and sharing my review of this 100 page dumpster fire.

I will start by saying this book contains anti-LGBTQ+ slurs. Straight to jail. 0/5 stars immediately. I will share my thoughts on the author in more detail below.

Our walking red flag main character, Jason. Jay Jason Jaegermeister. Like that nursery rhyme from when we were kids, but in a 2000s frosted tips, spiky hair kind of way. That’s how I pictured this guy (because there was 0 character description other than his 🍆). He was clearly unloved as a child and needs serious therapy. Even without the FMC being a SASQUATCH, he f***ed his best friend’s mom because he wouldn’t let him come over and play Zelda as a kid. He also stopped being his friend because he was getting bullied and it was too much for him. My guy.

I actually felt kind of bad for Sasquatch “mom” - Starla. I was hoping that the plot twist at the end would be her eating Jäegermeister or savagely killing him like her “family” said she would. Like, I was really hoping she’d stab him in the forehead or something and be like, “jokes on you. You should have listened to my “family.” Now it’s time to die.” Missed opportunity in my humble opinion.

Anyways, 5/5 stars in the “this will give me nightmares for the rest of my life” category. Otherwise, 0/5 would not recommend under any circumstances for reasons stated above.

Also, I read a few other synopses by this author and very quickly realized that I will absolutely not be supporting her work. I don’t know her as an author well enough to know if it’s satire (I hope so because if not - wtf)? It absolutely doesn’t seem like it to me, and I do not agree with nor condone her views.

[Ziem · Rating 3 out of 5]

Llego la reseña (sin spoilers) en español que estabas buscando.

No me importa que la madre de mi mejor amigo sea un pie grande, es sexy y estoy tomando una ducha con ella, es un libro que me sorprendió.

Cuando comencé a leerlo, me atrajo su premisa, una novela erótica con monstruos, pero página tras página, me iba sumergiendo más en esta salvaje historia llena de erotismo y acción.
Rseña sin Spoiler.

A pesar de que el título nos dice bastante sobre la trama, no se engañen, por esta historia los sorprenderá.

RESEÑA
La este libro nos cuenta la historia de Jay que tiene una vida normal, pero en su barrio existe el mito que hay un Sasquatch en una de las casas, y este mito se ve alimentado por ruidos extraños que se escuchan todas las noches, y la gran cantidad de animales muertos que se encuentran. Esta familia se mudará por razones desconocidas y no sabremos de ellos, hasta que jay se encuentra con Luke, el niño que vivía en la famosa casa, y rápidamente trama un plan para saber si es verdad o no el mito.

Jay no podrá creer lo que verán sus ojos, y se enamorara a primera vista de la sasquatch, y ella también quedará flechada del muchacho. Pero ahora, están tomando una ducha, y la familia de Luke hará lo imposible por interponerse en esta relación, incluso arriesgar sus propias vidas.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was ridiculous and I can't figure out how I feel about it.

[Michael Hollenbeck · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is not a good book.

[Adrian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best Sasquatch erotica I've ever read

[Nikeia Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is one of extreme adventure romance and a bit of comedy and...



Hahaha.

No.

just wanted to bait you lol