Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parent's Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

by J Milburn

A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

This book is written with the intention of supporting parents in developing the skills they need to co-regulate with their child and meet their emotional needs. It is based on my own healing journey, through parenting and so it is written with compassion for parents and children. We were all children once and that little person still lives inside us, trying to be seen and heard. Parenting often makes that connection to our little selves, hard to ignore. This book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections, and insights.

“Parenting peels away the layers of who you try and pretend to be, until only your raw soul is left to bare. From that unprotected state we either begin to heal or lose ourselves in the lost layers of a reality that no longer exists.

Children are authentic and expect the same of those around them. We often don’t realize how detached we have become from our authentic selves, until our children come searching for that lost person. As children do, they keep searching, despite barriers. They demand authenticity and truth.

We so often need to connect with the child inside of us to understand the child in front of us. This book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections and insights.” J. Milburn

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

135 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 15, 2025

Reviews

[Beth C · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really, REALLY wanted to like this book. I follow the author on social media, and her posts are always encouraging and uplifting. This book has wonderful POTENTIAL, but it is in desperate need of an EDITOR. Simple grammar mistakes abound (plural vs possessive, capitalization, spelling, etc), but also her message could be better communicated with simple tweaks in the organization of thoughts. She uses “lol” and emojis often which made it hard for me to take her seriously. She has an important message that the world needs to hear, but her voice is drowned out by the lack of clarity in her communication.

[Marta E C R · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a grandparent, I am grateful my own children have access to such good information and way better ways to deal with their kids than I had to deal with mine. This book is full of that information. There is much in this book to learn about relationships with both children and adults, and I hope to put lots of it into practice on an ongoing basis. The only reason this book did not get 5⭐️ from me is that there are so many grammatical errors.

[Samantha Brenneman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Information was good; could have been structured and condensed though. Desperate need of an editor. But in the end, useful information for my journey.

[Abby Calderhead · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so good, it teaches parents invaluable messages about achieving calm and sharing it with your child. So many practical applications described and a lot of good scripts for what to say in the moment for a variety of situations. One of my favorite parenting books I’ve read

[Jana Keir · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really important messages in this book about responsive parenting, and focusing on self-regulation and co-regulation. It would be much improved by a copy edit and structuring the book into sections, as it doesn’t currently seem to have this, which makes it hard to follow. I also think a lot of the references need work - it would be awesome to see statements backed by academic literature, as a lot are website and YouTube references which downgrades credibility. I enjoyed the practical examples given, would really recommend an edit and updated reference list for the next edition

[Cayla Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

My mom bought copies for herself and me because she follows the author on instagram. Overall, I do highly rate it and have already loaned it out to a friend. It was difficult to follow at times. She is clearly not an author of immense skill, but it’s definitely worth reading. There’s a lot of good content within.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy to read and follow book for parents on how to regulate themselves before co-regulating with kids.

[Muriel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall-good information but wasn’t exactly well-written (could have used some proofreading). Extra star for the resources/links at the end of the book