How to Cook a Coyote: The Joy of Old Age

by Betty Fussell

Soigné! A recipe for survival. A juicy, sexy, and wise memoir from the “gifted essayist and meditative thinker” (The New York Times) that captures the urgency of life at age ninety-eight

From telling what it’s like to go blind to confronting the ongoing erosion of time and the mystery of what’s to come, How to Cook a Coyote recounts a decade of change as Betty Fussell moves from Manhattan to Montecito and an old folks’ home, one where Julia Child once resided, recalling family, friends, enemies, and lovers with wry humor, affection, and a sharp-eyed confrontation with mortality. All the while, the coyote watches. And waits. But ultimately Fussel’s exciting new work provides a recipe for how to enjoy each moment as if it were the last day of your life.

Imagining the occasion of her final day in this life, celebrated food writer and critic Fussell reflects on the people, places, and events of an adventurous life. But she’s not alone. A coyote—an emblem of the wild and all the things one can’t control—stalks her, taking on greater emotional and metaphorical resonance as the day progresses.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Cooking, Biography, Biography Memoir, Cookbooks

256 pages, Hardcover

Published December 2, 2025

About the author

Betty Harper Fussell is an award-winning American writer and is the author of eleven books, ranging from biography to cookbooks, food history and memoir. Over the last 50 years, her essays on food, travel and the arts have appeared in scholarly journals, popular magazines and newspapers as varied as The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Los Angeles Times, Saveur, Vogue, Food & Wine, Metropolitan Home and Gastronomica. Her memoir, My Kitchen Wars, was performed in Hollywood and New York as a one-woman show by actress Dorothy Lyman. Her most recent book is Raising Steaks: The Life and Times of American Beef, and she is now working on How to Cook a Coyote: A Manual of Survival in NYC.

Reviews

[Shannon Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ate this up! This part memoir, part cookbook read like a fiction book to me. Small stories about this woman’s life sprinkled in to convos about love, friends, family, dancing, travel, and more. Big fan of hearing about older folks lives.

Never would have read this book if I hadn’t been gifted it by Scott <3

[Jaklin Lindberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don't let death knocking at the door keep you from living your life. Leave your spouse, have sex with whomever you want/can, drink the wine, eat what you want, and enjoy the experience called life.

[Kidlitter · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's quite a bit to love about Fussell's tales of extreme old age; her gusto, her discussion of the body good, bad and bawdy; her enjoyment of food, her ability to remember, make and keep friends. It's a bit hard to get past her blithe acceptance of her privilege, but she is very frank about being a firm member of the mid twentieth century Wasp elite and discussing finance isn't something they do - did - much. At least she's got the guts to be upfront about how much easier life is when you have a nice berth to perch in - I paid less attention to the coyotes around her California assisted living and more to their sumptuous meals. If I make is as far as her, I hope I can have half her spirit with whatever pittance I'm scraping by with, though her good genes, insurance and mysterious pots of cash seem to help.

[Hannah Garden]

A quick, light read. I read The Great War and Modern Memory in college, so when, a couple chapters in, she drops that her surname came from her marriage to the author of that incredible work, it probably made me more interested in her than I would have been otherwise. Sorry to be a dum dum but I do not care about food or food writing. I just liked her scraggly hair in her author photo and the gnarly title. Plus I am very into happy old ladies who've lived terrific lives. Of which she is one, for sure for sure.

[Lynda · Rating 1 out of 5]

There's certainly no joy in reading Betty Fussell's book. I've never read any of her other books and if the latest is any indication, I don't understand the appeal. Downbeat and caustic, it didn't work for me. I realize the coyote is a metaphor, but the reference to them as vermin and the fact that she keeps a coyote skin in her apartment as well as having hunted them with her son (admittedly a hunter) just turned me off. No thank you.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though it is a very good read, it takes a bit of courage to keep going, because mixed in with the clear-eyed remembrances of people and events long past, is a clear-eyed description of what it's like to be 98 years old and "live without a future." (It's not as bad as it sounds, especially when you have the type of zest for life Fussell clearly has.) A good reminder to fill your days with adventure, while you can and as long as you can.

[Antoinette B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author, celebrated food writer and critic Betty Fussell, recounts a decade of change during which she moves from New York to the Montecito retirement community where Julia Child once lived. Fussell recalls family, friends, and lovers with wry humor, affection, and an eye to mortality, while Coyote watches. Entertaining, thoughtful.

[Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s pretty amazing that this book was written by a woman in her 90’s who lives in a retirement home. Having led a pretty fantastic life, Betty takes us through the stories of some of the men in her life and what it’s like to get old. She’s clever and pithy and I enjoyed the read.

[Lena · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was not familiar with this author, but with that subtitle, I was hoping for a reflective and wise telling of what the author appreciates about living to her 90s. Instead, we got a meandering memoir of her last 30 years that did not hold my interest.

[Sheila Garry · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a lot going on. I expected some provoking thoughts on aging. Other than an initial assessment of the retirement center she began living at, She pretty much uses the rest of the book to justify the title. Much talk about coyotes, both real and imagined.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved the first third, hated the middle third (the parade of lovers). The last third was ok (recitation of ailments).But I have to admit to a sense of awe at Fussell's ferocity and her ability to forge ahead with life. Most of us could use a good dose of that.

[L · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is unusual, fascinating, creative and compelling. This woman has used fairy tales, myths, her past and present reality to weave a very insightful look into her aging life. What wisdom is here! What joy! What bravery!

[Jacqueline Salmon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved, loved, loved this book. A LOL, at times deeply sad, meditation on old age, and the inevitable task of facing death. Her brilliant metaphor: the coyote. Which, of course, is death. As told through food. Yup, it works. Fast read.

[Lisa Wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fussell can sense the coyote at the door. But she doesn't let that slow her down. Beautifully written.

[Candy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fussell is still feisty after all these years ...

[Leslie]

NYTimes, 12/23/25

[Donna M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good and important book to read as I approach a major milestone birthday.

[Barbpie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Charming and heart warming.

[Stuart Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of short essays by this talented writer as she reflects on her life and loves and shares her recipe for coyote pie.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bawdy, fun

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Neat book!

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a kick. Betty Fussell is a one-woman institution. Now 100 and nearly blind, she publishes her 14th book about her life. Hold on to your hat. You're in for a wild ride.

[Featherbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Life is a banquet…” Fun read which I picked up because of her many cookbooks. No recipes for meals here, but many for life with good humor.

[Donna Moriarty · Rating 1 out of 5]

Like reading your old auntie's diary.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

A short book of semi interesting stories but no real revelations or ideas.

[Lloyd Fassett · Rating 5 out of 5]

1/14/26
I super enjoyed this book and put her in my pantheon of great women's lives because of their embrace and attitude toward life. The other author is Beryl Markham because of West with the Night. Both women were just themselves despite the constrained expectations of women. I don't think they fought against constraints though. They pursued their passions, and I don't think they thought about constraints much.

Some of my hightlights:

I create a nest of safety by covering the walls with paintings and drawings by my brother and daughter, and by my own high school self, mixed with photos that provide virtual protection from real fears....My real fear, however, is not from what is outside but from what is inside my room, inside myself. There is no protection from time. Witness my body.

I mean to walk out of this life with a wink and a grin, no matter how it happens.

The other woman in my personal pantheon of great women's lives is Alice Neel, the portrait artist. I came across her self-portrait, nude, old, saggy boobs in the National Portrait Gallery in DC years ago and thought, "OMG who is this fantastic woman who gives a point of view about people who think only young women that are thin and have perky boobs have value?" That's an image of who these amazing women are.

Alice Neel, self-portrait, National Gallery of Art

12/24/25 Found it through the NYT's daily email. She's 98 and still fighting: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/12/22/bo...

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

My thanks to NetGalley and Counterpoint Publishers for an eARC of this title, published December 2, 2025.
Yes, I am a big fan of her ex-husband, Paul, especially his book on the importance of WWI on our cultural heritage. Until this past year I somehow had never known that his ex-wife was an author as well. Particularly on food. And that I had one of her books on my shelves ("My Kitchen Wars" - unread).
In her late 90's, she either has a vibrant mind still, or has a great editor. Some of the content is gleaned from her earlier books (coyote hunting with her son Sam - I had wondered what he has been doing since writing about his life as a bodybuilder from Oxford U!).
Made up of short chapters, Fussell (Betty) shares with us stories of her friends, growing old, the joy (and sadness) of growing old, her love of dancing, ex-lovers (!!!!!), her independence - and then she doles out some payback here and there as well!
The tie-in between the Southwest/West/Indigenous Mexico mythical coyote and her accepting her approaching death works better than I expected.
No, there is not all that much about food (although we do get a recipe for a drink she named after herself - and coyote pie). And, it is about a a type of person who climbed from her middle class upbringing in Riverside, CA to a rather privileged class (world travel, parties, life in NYC, some name dropping, retirement in Santa Barbara).
Outrageous, outspoken (she has a few sentences in here about masturbating in her early 90's!), fiesty - and full of great stories.
Contrary to some online reviews, I think she shares a very positive attitude towards aging. We're all going to die - accept it, embrace it, and have as much fun, and enjoy the world (hers now so limited by her blindness) as much as possible in the meantime. Even if it means breaking your tailbone (and your friend breaking her ankle) while jitterbugging at the retirement home Halloween party....
4.5 out of 5
For sure I will go on and read some of her other books.

[Patricia Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable read; not what I had expected. Yes, there IS a 'recipe' for Coyote..but it's not a guide to enjoying old age. There are insights into this end stage of life: the feelings of invisibility of being OLD, death & 'greeting the Coyote' , ' how weird it is to live without a future'. Fussell recounts her life ; enjoying life's pleasures to the fullest. Thanks Goodreads and Betty Fussell for this enjoyable lovely read AND your 'little lessons', the insights into the processes of Cooking the Coyote.