2.5 stars - Spoilers
This was difficult to rate, on the one hand I hated it for a multitude of reasons but on the other I enjoyed the familiarity of the characters and the world, and there were parts that were enjoyable in a mindless, fluffy kind of way. And underneath all of Charley's idiocy and hornyness for Reyes there was actually a solid story.
What I Liked:
-Skipping ahead to the end of Charley's pregnancy. I really didn't want to read more than one book of Charley acting all cute and precocious with her pregnancy.
-The convent setting with everyone dropping in and out and helping each other. It was just a nice back drop to the comfortable dynamics and interactions that were going on between Charley's people.
-Charley's group of people, they were what made the story. It was great how they'd all become close through Charley and were kind of like a family.
-Finally getting some answers and insight into Charley, her powers, the prophecy, the hellhounds and Mr Wong. Although, why did it take Mr Wong so long to actually do something to help and protect Charley? How would standing in a corner help in any way?
-The whole Charley being a ghost god from another realm, it was an interesting twist on things. Also, liked the reasons behind Beep having to stop Lucifer instead of Charley.
-The Reyes's parents arc finally being resolved, it was perfect timing with them being able to take Beep and look after her away from all the danger. Also, it was quiet fitting and sweet how they got to have a second chance at being parents with Beep. I would have felt sorry for Reyes and Charley losing Beep, but both were too selfish to be good enough parents.
-The set up to what Reyes/Charley would have to face in the future from the three gods/twelve baddies Lucifer sent to destroy Beep.
-Cookie and Ubie getting married, I also hated this though because we didn't get to see their relationship develop. In the last book they just began dating and in this one they were married. At the very least I wanted to read about Ubie's proposal, and whether he'd gotten advice from Charley or Reyes or if he asked Amber's permission before proposing. I would have also liked to know about their home life - was Ubie even living with Cookie? How was his relationship with Amber like? Was he doing dad stuff with her?
What I didn't like:
-The case-of-the-week with the missing girl was really boring and felt out of place with everything else that was going on. Thankfully, it didn't take up too much page time and I did appreciate how it actually ended up serving a purpose and led to Charley visiting hell and finding out Lucifer was no longer there.
-The AWFUL, ANNOYING, REPETITIVE, STUPID Reyes fangirling and the STUPID, UNNECESSARY, LONG, BORING descriptions of Reyes's sexy face, body and clothes. What the hell did that actually achieve story wise? His supernatural sexiness and the fact that every woman was horny for him had already been established a million books ago. It wasn't needed!
-Charley's dumb reactions to Reyes, like her being so dumbfounded by his looks that she stood and stared at him for what was probably five fucking minutes when she was in the middle of going down the bloody aisle for her best friend's wedding! Was that meant to be endearing or funny or cute? It wasn't. It was embarrassing and ridiculous.
-What was with Gemma sticking up for Denise and trivialising everything Charley had gone through with her? Denise had been nothing but vile to Charley for her whole life, she made her feel unwanted and unloved. That would have been bad enough but she also made sure that Charley felt like a freak and outcast all whilst showering all her motherly love on Gemma. But Gemma acted like Charley was the one in the wrong and made her feel petty despite being the one who had grown up hated. Denise punishing Charley and being vile towards her and pushing her out of her own family for years and years was unforgivable. I hated how Denise was made out to be some poor, lonely, misunderstood victim and Charley the bad guy. Never mind that Charley was a child when she suffered all of Denise's vitriol, apparently it was still Charley's fault and she had to just get over it and be nice to Denise and let her be a part of her baby's life. Ugh, the whole thing was beyond fucked up and Gemma was seriously the worst sister ever.
-I was pissed with Charley's doormat ways, I hated her forgiving her step-mum and excusing all the bad her dad had done to her. She didn't need to hate them or stay angry at them forever, but I at least expected her to always be at least a little bitter and resentful at them when there were legitimate reasons for it. Forgiveness and closure doesn't equal forgetting everything and being all nicey nice and never having a bad thought or feeling about the person being forgiven. Charley would have been so much more interesting if she hadn't excused all the crap her parents had done over the years. What was wrong with her having a relationship with them without forgiving and forgetting all they'd done? A couple of heart to hearts and her mum and dad doing some basic parenting after years of crap parenting didn't erase all the hurt feelings and all their years of awfulness.
-The bad guys conveniently leaving all of Charley's friends alone. It was only Denise who was targeted by them, everyone else carried on with their lives like normal despite being leverage to get at Charley. The bad guys had so many opportunists to kill off or hurt Charley's friends but somehow nothing happened to them.
-What was with Reyes holding Charley's throat whenever he was mad at her or horny for her? Was it meant to be sexy or something? Because it was more abusive and threatening than anything. He manhandled her and was violent around her, he was one step away from being a wife beater. The scene where they returned from hell was especially uncomfortable, he was so close to beating her bloody, if there hadn't been an audience he would have beaten the crap out of her. What really took the piss though was Charley acting all apologetic and feeling guilty for going to hell (even though she did it to save a young girl's life), she had every right to risk her own life and Reyes had no right getting all angry and righteous, especially when he was happily risking his own life throughout the book. And why was Charley more concerned for Reyes's man-pain than his threatening behaviour towards her? She should have been more worried about her safety. Reyes being mad at her didn't give him the right to grab her throat or hair or punch a wall beside her head. It was classic abusive behaviour, but oh no it was just brushed off as Reyes being scared and worried. Ugh, just fucking ugh.
-Hated the double standards between Charley/Reyes. It was one rule of him and another for Charley, he was allowed to lie, keep secrets, and risk his life and Charley just had to be cool with it. But she wasn't allowed to do any of that without Reyes getting violent or sulky about it.
-Why did Reyes keep hiding things from Charley? He knew she was stupid and impulsive, especially when she was curious. Didn't he think it would be safer to simply tell Charley what he was up to than hide it from her and have her end up in danger? It almost read like he was purposefully not telling her stuff just so she could do something stupid and endanger herself.
-WTF was with Reyes testing out Charley's honesty? He was a bigger, fatter liar than she was, they both hid things but he had WAY more secrets than Charley. Him acting like Charley was the dishonest liar in the relationship was fucking ridiculous.
-What was with Charley falling over all the time? Her clumsiness was downright stupid and incongruous, it didn't fit with her being a super, awesome, shiny, light bulb god.
-How was it with all the combined powers Charley, Reyes and Osh had they were unable able to figure a way to get Charley out of the well she'd fallen into? Really? I just can't picture super powerful beings who are able to destroy all kinds of evil being defeated by a rusty old well.
-Since when has Osh been more powerful than Reyes? He's one of many slave demons whereas Reyes is the son of Satan and one of a kind. It makes no sense that Osh would suddenly be made more powerful than Reyes, no matter how old he is.
-The hellhounds were actually the good guys and were trying to protect Charley? What? Didn't they keep attacking Charley in the last book? I think I need to skim the last one because I'm sure I remember them biting her and fighting her.
-I'm so pissed at Jacob and Rennesmee 2.0. WTF?! Beep's barely a few days old and she already has a creepy old guy as a love interest! Charley had some sort of premonition in which she said Osh would love Beep when she was older and that he would be the one who would tip the balance as to whether Beep could destroy Lucifer and save the world.
Ugh, the whole Osh/Beep set up was sickening. He's even older than her centuries old dad and has seen and experienced countless things and done so much evil. Someone like that being romantically connected to an innocent baby is beyond fucked up! He was even there at her birth and he held her and must have fed and changed her, he also flirted with her mum and purposefully tried to turn her mother on. It's just so disturbing.
I can just imagine when Beep grows up that he'll watch her from a distance to 'protect' her (and no doubt cockblock her too) like the grade A pervert he is or he'll drop in and out of her life and more or less try to groom her. Sick, sick, sick. All of it was sick.
-Why the hell was Charley not bothered that Osh, an old screwed up demon who looked after baby-Beep, would one day love Beep? I'm hoping Osh's love for Beep will be platonic, but that doesn't seem to be the case what with Charley repeatedly stressing how much Osh looks like a teen, not just a teen, a very sexy teen. Not to mention Beep's destiny being so intertwined with his and him being so dark and tortured and needing to be saved from sin and temptation, it's like he's being set up so that all he needs is the love of a good woman/speshul snowflake/Mary Sue to save him from himself or some rubbish. Ugh.
-No doubt Osh will be panting after teen Beep as soon as he can and she'll be getting all lusty over how dark and mysterious and sexy he is. I really hope I'm dead wrong because Osh/Beep is disgusting. A baby shouldn't have a love interest like she's in some sort of supernatural arranged marriage, and if she does need to have a love interest at least make them the same bloody age, instead of someone who's even older than their centuries old dad!
-There better not be a YA spin off with speshul snowflake teen Beep trying to take down Lucifer whilst getting all hot for Osh, who will no doubt smolder at her, make cryptic remarks, and act like a douche. No doubt, he'd conveniently leave out being good friends with her parents and that he loved acting sexual towards her mother. No thanks. There also better not be some supernatural thing that speeds up her age Renesmee style. Ugh, Beep was ruined for me as soon as she was given a nasty, old love interest before she was even born.
-I really wasn't impressed with Charley conveniently losing all her memories at the end. That means the ninth book will have a clueless Charley running around trying to figure who she is and what's going on, and Reyes will no doubt be there withholding information and making cryptic remarks. It's like a huge step back in the series, Charley just got to know about herself and her powers and now that's all been taken away - the story and characters should be moving forwards, not backwards. I really hope Charley regains ALL her memories back quickly, I don't want her amnesia to last the entire book. What would be the point in that? It's just filler and dragging things out.
-I hope by the end of the series Charley goes back to her own realm instead of leaving it and her people weak and unprotected. She doesn't need to play grim reaper on Earth or stay with Reyes because she just loves him oh so much, her own realm and people should come first to her. But I doubt that'll happen, she'll probably give her powers to Mr Wong or something and send him back to look after her universe whilst she pisses around with Reyes and spends eternity as a grim reaper just so she can be with him.
All in all, it was good in some ways but bad in more. I'm still invested in the story and characters, but I need less fangirling and filler and more character growth and movement in the story. Oh, I also need Reyes to stop his wife beater, overbearing, hypocritical ways.