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All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay D.C.
Craig Seymour gives us both the highs (money, adoration, camaraderie) and the lows (an ill-fated attempt at prostitution, a humiliating porn audition) in his job stripping in Washington DC's 90s gay club scene. Ultimately coming clean about his secret identity, Seymour breaks through taboos and makes his way from booty-baring stripper to Ph.D. academic, taking a detour into celebrity journalism.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2008
3 people are currently reading
492 people want to read
About the author
Craig Seymour
5 books21 followersCraig Seymour is a professor of English at the University of Massachusetts, Dartmouth. A well-regarded writer and photographer, he is the author of Luther: The Life and Longing of Luther Vandross and has contributed numerous articles to The Washington Post, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, and other publications. He holds a Ph.D. in American Studies from the University of Maryland, College Park.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
May 17, 2021
This is about the opposite of what every female stripper writes. Oh no, they always protest, we are not sex workers, we are talented, skilled, exotic dancers and we do not have sex with the punters. I'm not doubting them . The author, a PhD student whose thesis is the culture of gay clubs, is researching it by being a 'dancer' in a gay club. There is no dancing whatsoever involved. Just parading around in his little white socks and getting felt up by all and sundry who tuck money into his socks. He enjoys this gonzo research very much, sexually and financially as much as intellectually!
He is talking of one of his best customers, a classical musician:
The book also has the history of gay clubs, the legal aspect, the hotness of male porn stars and too many rather boring celebrity interviews. No longer, a male sex worker, the author is a respected music writer , critic and editor. All in all it was an amusing, somewhat informative, only occasionally icky book that was very well written. 4 star.
He is talking of one of his best customers, a classical musician:
"When I talked with him between sets, we conversed about film and art, and what made him decide to become a musician, but whenever he'd stroke me on the bar he didn't say much but variations on, "your dick is so hot, that's such a hot dick, your dick's so fucking hot". It wasn't that I wanted him to rhapsodise about Beethoven while he was jerking me off, but I would have preferred silence to having my genitals subjected to a barrage of expletive-laced cliches."After he finishes his research, he continues 'dancing', as well as teaching and only stops when it becomes difficult legally.
The book also has the history of gay clubs, the legal aspect, the hotness of male porn stars and too many rather boring celebrity interviews. No longer, a male sex worker, the author is a respected music writer , critic and editor. All in all it was an amusing, somewhat informative, only occasionally icky book that was very well written. 4 star.
July 22, 2011
when i saw this book on a shelf of a gay bookstore in montreal i HAD to buy it. why? because it discusses the underbelly of DC's gay raunch scene--from the point of view of a stripper. as i was reading it, i perused at the back cover to discover that i knew of the author. i must have waited on him many times during the wee hours of the night as the after bar crowd showed up at the steakhouse where i worked. the book started out corny, and at times can seem a little fluffy given the references to 80s and 90s hits. however, the material was interesting, as it gave a chronology of dc's seedy gay "theatres." it was amazing to know that i had been at places at the same time as the author. it was also amazing to understand the life of a stripper, and how it affects one's persona. it made me think back to times where i was struggling, searching for meaning in an amazingly rough city.
February 7, 2012
Back in the early 1990s, a handsome, young, and affable African American graduate student and teacher found himself nervously attending his first gay strip club to see a live performance by his favorite porn star. Here, customers were allowed to freely fondle the naked dancers. Openly gay but a gay-sex virgin, nervous and slightly apprehensive, Craig Seymour gets his good friend Seth to accompany him.
Excitement soon replaces apprehension and Seymour finds himself falling in love with the clubs as well as his good friend Seth, to whom he ultimately surrenders his virginity. They become live-in lovers.
But as the strip clubs are becoming an ever-growing obsession, our hero is able to appease both his lover and his jones by making strip clubs the topic of his master’s thesis, with the cautious approval of his school adviser.
Now a club regular, Seymour interviews and gets to know a cast of characters as colorful and crudely affectionate as anything in a Bob Fosse musical.
His first interview subject is dancer Jake the Guess Model, a straight ‘gay-for-pay’ former construction worker who tells his customers he is bi ‘because [they] like to think there’s a chance.’
And then there is Dave, a customer just out of a twenty-one-year monogamous heterosexual marriage and now having the time of his life hanging at the clubs and fondling beautiful young male dancers dangling their eye-level rock hard jewels for his perusal approval.
Dave’s favorite dancer is Matt who sports leather chaps publicizing everything usually known as ‘privates.’
Sassy drag queens, dirty old men, sugar daddies, and dis-effected club owners abound throughout this breezy, affectionate tome.
Author Seymour also learns of and writes about D.C.’s rich gay history, dating back to the 1800s. Then, knowledge of fifty-year-old poet Walt Whitman’s love affair with Irish immigrant Peter Doyle, thirty years his junior, was as casual as the then published stories of sexual liaisons between black and white men in Lafayette Square “under the shadows of the White House.”
The story of how the gay strip club scene began in the 1960s, where dancers could legally bare all, is beautifully told. The owner of a local bar on O Street, Chesapeake House, offers a pair of sailors $50 each to strip down and dance for his patrons. Soon the club is drawing huge crowds that include the likes of Truman Capote, Tennessee Williams, and Rock Hudson. Other clubs (as well as bath houses) soon open and prosper on O Street, the city’s gay red light district.
Although Mr. Seymour’s depth and fascinating chronicle of how this charmingly tawdry industry evolves is both interesting and informative, it is his personal transition from thesis writer to booty dancer that makes his memoir a thoroughly entertaining read.
Likable and self-effacing, the author writes thoughtfully, ironically, and humorously about his second job:
“…get on stage, disrobe quickly, try to get a hard-on, and then walk out among the customers, who for a tip—generally a buck—got to stroke, fondle, poke, and prod [your] bod. It was more like sex than dancing, and it had become my job.”
He also writes with great care and much soul-searching about maintaining his monogamous relationship with Seth while almost every night allowing strangers and regulars to feel him up.
Seymour’s partner is more trusting than most, and it is admirable that the author repays that trust with honesty and a form of fidelity.
However, after six years of being with the only man he’s known sexually, the author approaches his partner with a proposition that dooms the romance, if not the friendship.
With the cocaine bust of Mayor Marion Barry, a champion of D.C.’s liberal sexual exhibition laws, restrictions are shortly thereafter imposed on the strip clubs. Customers are no longer allowed to fondle dancers, and dancers aren’t allowed to fondle themselves. This, of course, cuts into everyone’s income, and author Seymour, now single and sparked on by the success of his thesis, embarks upon a career as an entertainment journalist, which eventually takes him to New York. Thanks to his unique literary gift and ability to ask his celebrity interviewee’s frank and probing questions, he quickly ascends the ranks.
His ability to get such stars as Janet Jackson, Mary J. Blige, and Mariah Carey to open up and discuss such things as masturbation, size-queendom, secret babies, cheating boyfriends, and mental depression are shocking, revealing, and often quite poignant. His discussion with TLC’s Lisa Lopez regarding her romance with Tupac, his death, her premonition of her own death, is particularly moving. Craig Seymour’s keen observations of human behavior, particular with regards to his celebrity subjects, are empathetic and caring, always intelligent, never fawning.
Eventually, Mr. Seymour’s busy schedule—writing for The Washington Post, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, the Buffalo News, and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, to name a few—becomes all-consuming, making it nearly impossible for him to have a personal life.
He re-thinks academia, and eventually returns to the University of Maryland to finish his Ph.D. While working as a professor at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth, he hears that the old strip clubs on O Street will be torn down. He returns for a bittersweet farewell that brings him full circle. The year is 2006.
Craig Seymour’s warm, witty, and honestly rendered self-examination of his seemingly unlikely but totally plausible life as grad student turned gay stripper, turned journalist, turned college professor, is quite the odyssey, and quite a lesson for us all. There is so much life out there for all of us to enjoy. This story reminds me of the famous quote from Auntie Mame: “Life’s a banquet but most poor sons-of-bitches starve to death!”
Author Craig Seymour definitely heard the dinner bell.
Excitement soon replaces apprehension and Seymour finds himself falling in love with the clubs as well as his good friend Seth, to whom he ultimately surrenders his virginity. They become live-in lovers.
But as the strip clubs are becoming an ever-growing obsession, our hero is able to appease both his lover and his jones by making strip clubs the topic of his master’s thesis, with the cautious approval of his school adviser.
Now a club regular, Seymour interviews and gets to know a cast of characters as colorful and crudely affectionate as anything in a Bob Fosse musical.
His first interview subject is dancer Jake the Guess Model, a straight ‘gay-for-pay’ former construction worker who tells his customers he is bi ‘because [they] like to think there’s a chance.’
And then there is Dave, a customer just out of a twenty-one-year monogamous heterosexual marriage and now having the time of his life hanging at the clubs and fondling beautiful young male dancers dangling their eye-level rock hard jewels for his perusal approval.
Dave’s favorite dancer is Matt who sports leather chaps publicizing everything usually known as ‘privates.’
Sassy drag queens, dirty old men, sugar daddies, and dis-effected club owners abound throughout this breezy, affectionate tome.
Author Seymour also learns of and writes about D.C.’s rich gay history, dating back to the 1800s. Then, knowledge of fifty-year-old poet Walt Whitman’s love affair with Irish immigrant Peter Doyle, thirty years his junior, was as casual as the then published stories of sexual liaisons between black and white men in Lafayette Square “under the shadows of the White House.”
The story of how the gay strip club scene began in the 1960s, where dancers could legally bare all, is beautifully told. The owner of a local bar on O Street, Chesapeake House, offers a pair of sailors $50 each to strip down and dance for his patrons. Soon the club is drawing huge crowds that include the likes of Truman Capote, Tennessee Williams, and Rock Hudson. Other clubs (as well as bath houses) soon open and prosper on O Street, the city’s gay red light district.
Although Mr. Seymour’s depth and fascinating chronicle of how this charmingly tawdry industry evolves is both interesting and informative, it is his personal transition from thesis writer to booty dancer that makes his memoir a thoroughly entertaining read.
Likable and self-effacing, the author writes thoughtfully, ironically, and humorously about his second job:
“…get on stage, disrobe quickly, try to get a hard-on, and then walk out among the customers, who for a tip—generally a buck—got to stroke, fondle, poke, and prod [your] bod. It was more like sex than dancing, and it had become my job.”
He also writes with great care and much soul-searching about maintaining his monogamous relationship with Seth while almost every night allowing strangers and regulars to feel him up.
Seymour’s partner is more trusting than most, and it is admirable that the author repays that trust with honesty and a form of fidelity.
However, after six years of being with the only man he’s known sexually, the author approaches his partner with a proposition that dooms the romance, if not the friendship.
With the cocaine bust of Mayor Marion Barry, a champion of D.C.’s liberal sexual exhibition laws, restrictions are shortly thereafter imposed on the strip clubs. Customers are no longer allowed to fondle dancers, and dancers aren’t allowed to fondle themselves. This, of course, cuts into everyone’s income, and author Seymour, now single and sparked on by the success of his thesis, embarks upon a career as an entertainment journalist, which eventually takes him to New York. Thanks to his unique literary gift and ability to ask his celebrity interviewee’s frank and probing questions, he quickly ascends the ranks.
His ability to get such stars as Janet Jackson, Mary J. Blige, and Mariah Carey to open up and discuss such things as masturbation, size-queendom, secret babies, cheating boyfriends, and mental depression are shocking, revealing, and often quite poignant. His discussion with TLC’s Lisa Lopez regarding her romance with Tupac, his death, her premonition of her own death, is particularly moving. Craig Seymour’s keen observations of human behavior, particular with regards to his celebrity subjects, are empathetic and caring, always intelligent, never fawning.
Eventually, Mr. Seymour’s busy schedule—writing for The Washington Post, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, the Buffalo News, and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, to name a few—becomes all-consuming, making it nearly impossible for him to have a personal life.
He re-thinks academia, and eventually returns to the University of Maryland to finish his Ph.D. While working as a professor at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth, he hears that the old strip clubs on O Street will be torn down. He returns for a bittersweet farewell that brings him full circle. The year is 2006.
Craig Seymour’s warm, witty, and honestly rendered self-examination of his seemingly unlikely but totally plausible life as grad student turned gay stripper, turned journalist, turned college professor, is quite the odyssey, and quite a lesson for us all. There is so much life out there for all of us to enjoy. This story reminds me of the famous quote from Auntie Mame: “Life’s a banquet but most poor sons-of-bitches starve to death!”
Author Craig Seymour definitely heard the dinner bell.
May 4, 2023
Did not know that gay bars in Washington D.C. used to allow strippers to interact quite so freely with customers. This is an eye-opening memoir by an articulate young grad student who first studied the "social aspects" of male strippers for his master's thesis, and then started stripping himself as a means of exploring intimacy and identity (and paying the rent).
The writer as a child was fascinated by women in shiny clothes working the streets of D.C. — he even wanted a doll for Christmas; he imagined one named Lola, a hooker with a heart of gold.
Later the author works as an entertainment writer and music critic, and this part of the story outlines his personal journey but departs from the subject in the subtitle: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
However, the personal journey may have been included because life in the clubs was fragmented and elusive. Little was known about fellow strippers, who were naked yet cloaked, and they came and went. The regular customers as well were friendly, and open-handed, but almost anonymous. The result was a curious liminal world, where notions of intimacy and sexuality often upended expectations.
The front cover blurb from Publishers Weekly ("Readers will feel they're in the hands of an expert") must have been written tongue in cheek, as those who have read this memoir will recognize!
The writer as a child was fascinated by women in shiny clothes working the streets of D.C. — he even wanted a doll for Christmas; he imagined one named Lola, a hooker with a heart of gold.
Later the author works as an entertainment writer and music critic, and this part of the story outlines his personal journey but departs from the subject in the subtitle: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
However, the personal journey may have been included because life in the clubs was fragmented and elusive. Little was known about fellow strippers, who were naked yet cloaked, and they came and went. The regular customers as well were friendly, and open-handed, but almost anonymous. The result was a curious liminal world, where notions of intimacy and sexuality often upended expectations.
The front cover blurb from Publishers Weekly ("Readers will feel they're in the hands of an expert") must have been written tongue in cheek, as those who have read this memoir will recognize!
July 31, 2008
I was a college student and then a graduate student pursuing my master's degree in cultural studies (particularly queer theory) in the DC area around the same time the author was taking it off in Southeast. After getting my M.A. I gave up on academia for many reasons. One of those reasons was the constant graduate student/professor lament about the nexus between theory and practice. Here's a guy who had the balls to make that connection and he produced some pretty great stuff as a result. Great read, great insights, and entertaining too. Hat's off to him.
May 7, 2010
It was OK but there was a lot of interview material with celebrities that didn't interest me. I was more interested in him. His writing style was good and I enjoyed his use of language and turn of phrase. Nothing in the book was particularly shocking.
It was interesting to read about many of the bars I visited in the late 80s and early 90s when visiting a friend in DC.
It was interesting to read about many of the bars I visited in the late 80s and early 90s when visiting a friend in DC.
April 24, 2023
Picked this up on a whim, but it was quite a page-turner! There's something very captivating about Craig's storytelling.
December 25, 2008
Fascinating, informative and intelligently written Memoir/Exposé
Craig Seymour writes with the abandon and grace of a wordsmith with years of experience instead of a young writer for whom this is only his second book. Granted he has practice gained from academic studies and from writing for the media as a critic and interviewer of pop stars and those attributes give his book a uniquely credible flavor. But whatever the combination of elements upon which he draws, Seymour simply writes very well, capturing the interest of the read from page one to the last without a moment for pause.
The very amiable Seymour shares his personal life, first as a somewhat sexually identity confused child from an African American family in Washington, DC to his years as a university student when he gradually confronts his early questions of who he is by having the courage to try the challenging aspects that have always been his approach/avoidance conflict under the guise of an academic thesis: he will investigate the culture of gay strippers by first observing and then participating. From Seymour's fluid writing style the reader flows along with him, learning the idiosyncrasies and very humanistic situations he confronts in the world of the physically relaxed stripper bars of Washington, DC.
What makes Craig Seymour's memoir many steps above other attempts to tell-all about the netherworld of strip clubs is his manner of sharing the real responses of both the strippers and the clients who pay for the services. Yes, he does touch on some strange tales of experiences related by other strippers and personally witnessed on his own, but the overall feeling is the discovery of the reasons and motivations on both sides of the dance bar. He also shares his first hand (and rejected) introduction into the other aspects of the porn industry and escort concept and one reason these episodes are touching is Seymour's valued sharing of his investigations with his significant supportive partner Seth, an honesty that pervades all of his reporting.
What this book offers is entertainment and a very well documented evaluation of the years when the most daring strip bars in the country were in the capital city of the nation! Seymour ends his book with his experiences as a celebrity interviewer, and these last chapters seem at first to be far less well written, less interesting that the major portion of the book - until Seymour ties his life experiences together in the last chapter, opening windows of self discovery and the resultant quiet advice that leaves the reader feeling endeared to the writer. This is an important book, not just a passing fance type exposé but instead a beautifully wrought slice of American life we should all share. Highly recommended. Grady Harp
Craig Seymour writes with the abandon and grace of a wordsmith with years of experience instead of a young writer for whom this is only his second book. Granted he has practice gained from academic studies and from writing for the media as a critic and interviewer of pop stars and those attributes give his book a uniquely credible flavor. But whatever the combination of elements upon which he draws, Seymour simply writes very well, capturing the interest of the read from page one to the last without a moment for pause.
The very amiable Seymour shares his personal life, first as a somewhat sexually identity confused child from an African American family in Washington, DC to his years as a university student when he gradually confronts his early questions of who he is by having the courage to try the challenging aspects that have always been his approach/avoidance conflict under the guise of an academic thesis: he will investigate the culture of gay strippers by first observing and then participating. From Seymour's fluid writing style the reader flows along with him, learning the idiosyncrasies and very humanistic situations he confronts in the world of the physically relaxed stripper bars of Washington, DC.
What makes Craig Seymour's memoir many steps above other attempts to tell-all about the netherworld of strip clubs is his manner of sharing the real responses of both the strippers and the clients who pay for the services. Yes, he does touch on some strange tales of experiences related by other strippers and personally witnessed on his own, but the overall feeling is the discovery of the reasons and motivations on both sides of the dance bar. He also shares his first hand (and rejected) introduction into the other aspects of the porn industry and escort concept and one reason these episodes are touching is Seymour's valued sharing of his investigations with his significant supportive partner Seth, an honesty that pervades all of his reporting.
What this book offers is entertainment and a very well documented evaluation of the years when the most daring strip bars in the country were in the capital city of the nation! Seymour ends his book with his experiences as a celebrity interviewer, and these last chapters seem at first to be far less well written, less interesting that the major portion of the book - until Seymour ties his life experiences together in the last chapter, opening windows of self discovery and the resultant quiet advice that leaves the reader feeling endeared to the writer. This is an important book, not just a passing fance type exposé but instead a beautifully wrought slice of American life we should all share. Highly recommended. Grady Harp
December 14, 2012
*Why I decided to strip and what the whole experience meant*
descriptive, candid, poignant, honest, deep funny insightful well-written. This book shows growth and depth.
A few quotes that grabbed me:
"after years of wondering what it would be like, I had done it - faced a fear, defied expectation, embraced a taboo self. It was only the beginning." (p 10)
"He rolled his eyes in a way that immediately told me he was gay." (26)
"I found my stripping experience came in handy when talking to celebs. After years of working the bars and making small talk while people were playing with my dick, I'd learned something about relating to people - how to lean forward when they were speaking and look deeply into their eyes, and how to listen closely to what they were saying in order to get a sense of where they were coming from." (184)
I am amused!! and intrigued. So in order to learn how to relate to people, work in a strip club, dear readers. ;)
And as to the inevitable demise / end: "I know that this wasn't just some wasteland for loners and losers; for many of us, it was where we were most alive." (235) "It's a place where people would come to let go of all their hangups and just be who they are. They would discuss deep personal things that they normally kept to themselves." (236)
I'm sure we can all relate to and cherish / enjoy / treasure that. Letting go and being who we are.
descriptive, candid, poignant, honest, deep funny insightful well-written. This book shows growth and depth.
A few quotes that grabbed me:
"after years of wondering what it would be like, I had done it - faced a fear, defied expectation, embraced a taboo self. It was only the beginning." (p 10)
"He rolled his eyes in a way that immediately told me he was gay." (26)
"I found my stripping experience came in handy when talking to celebs. After years of working the bars and making small talk while people were playing with my dick, I'd learned something about relating to people - how to lean forward when they were speaking and look deeply into their eyes, and how to listen closely to what they were saying in order to get a sense of where they were coming from." (184)
I am amused!! and intrigued. So in order to learn how to relate to people, work in a strip club, dear readers. ;)
And as to the inevitable demise / end: "I know that this wasn't just some wasteland for loners and losers; for many of us, it was where we were most alive." (235) "It's a place where people would come to let go of all their hangups and just be who they are. They would discuss deep personal things that they normally kept to themselves." (236)
I'm sure we can all relate to and cherish / enjoy / treasure that. Letting go and being who we are.
April 27, 2008
Part ethnography into the gay culture of D.C., in particular the strip clubs of the late 80s/early 90s (natch), part personal memoir about decisions involving the author's sexuality, life choices and ability to transcend self-doubt and societal prejudices to reach a level of individual success and understanding.
February 1, 2018
The subject matter was interesting but, as a memoir, it was written in first person and was therefor lacking in some detail and atmosphere that would have enriched the story.
February 17, 2021
Interesting book. The author approaches the subject from an academic perspective but the book isn’t dry at all. It’s rather fun. Towards the end the author delves into his next life as a music journalist and that part is fun and interesting too. Lots of good stories.
December 10, 2020
Sometimes interesting but often unsatisfying book about a gay graduate student working at D. C. strip clubs. While the cover and title make the subject obvious, what isn't clearly stated until way near the end of the book is that Craig Seymour wasn't just some sex-hungry gay kid that liked to let men touch him--he actually is an established music writer who had a career at major publications as both a critic and editor. He then uses about twenty percent of the latter part of the book to focus on his interviews with celebrities, which totally changes the book's tone. And the final pages do a quick summary of how confused he is about what all this means.
He certainly was not a typical guy dancing in the strip clubs--he was older than most, teaching as a grad student at a major university (though not an "elite" school the way he claims), he had never had sex with a man other than his boyfriend (who seemed to have no trouble with Craig stripping), and he decided to do a grad school thesis on strip clubs in D.C. before actually joining the industry.
A lot of the first half of the book is too tame or academic, with stories of the guys he interviewed at the clubs. He doesn't really provide much insight into these men because the talks are shallow and held at the workplace in between sets. Much of this seems like rehash from what he wrote in grad school, and the reader has to assume that the author recorded all the conversations since there are so many specific direct quotes.
The book only gets interesting once it shifts into being more about Seymour--when he decides to try stripping while he's continuing to teach a university course and completing his master's degree. His boyfriend/roommate is alluded to but their relationship isn't explored, and one has to wonder why Craig's supposedly monogamous guy would approve of hundreds of men touching Seymour's very private parts. The question arises about what does it mean to be monogamous or to "have sex," but the author never address it directly. He was certainly committing sexual acts with thousands of men over the course of his relationship, so was he really faithful even if no anal consummation occurred with his clients?
The fun part of the book starts once Craig decides to stop stripping, gets bored with the boyfriend of seven years, and starts to have sex with other men for the first time. His boyfriend kicks him out that night and suddenly the author starts going down the path of experiencing as many men as possible and he even starts drinking in his late 20s (which he hadn't done before).
The author doesn't go into a lot of detail regarding his hookups. A couple of descriptions are okay but for a book about sex work there's very little sex in it. He seemed to want the focus to shift on the lives of others (club workers and clients) to avoid his having to deal with analyzing his own choices. It's so obvious that he had a great life before he quit his strip club job--happily living with his first and only sexual partner--but once stripping stopped he needed the attention of men outside his home, so he became just another twisted, rowdy, horny middle aged guy as he aged.
He did go back to stripping off and on, but in the midst got it in his head that he wanted to be a writer. So without any experience or training he took on some work as a freelance critic for free publications, which grew into a major career. His life is proof that many "journalists" have absolutely no training or education in what it means to be a true objective writer, and the fact that Entertainment Weekly hired him without more than a couple articles to his name proves how low the standards are that that (and other) publications. Believe it or not, his being a stripper, and his including it in his resume, is what usually got him the writing jobs.
Once he tries to impress us with his interviews of people like Mariah Carey and Mary J. Blige I started dosing off--that's not what this book was supposed to be about and it was pretty boring. Then the end quickly wraps with him getting melancholy over the shuttering of the D.C. gay clubs.
The final three pages are somewhat analytical about his life, and he's absolutely right that he (and pretty much every gay man) is looking for attention, admiration, and acceptance--never happy with it from one person, always looking for a new guy to stroke his...ego. But then Seymour cops out and claims he's just confused over his past, is very lonely, that he'd never recommend to anyone that they strip in clubs, but that he's happy with his life today. Huh?
The whole thing is interesting and unique but poorly constructed and edited, and there could have been much more specifics on his life and sexuality. The end left me feeling like the author still doesn't understand why he allowed thousands of men to touch his private parts for money. And if he doesn't, then we certainly never will.
He certainly was not a typical guy dancing in the strip clubs--he was older than most, teaching as a grad student at a major university (though not an "elite" school the way he claims), he had never had sex with a man other than his boyfriend (who seemed to have no trouble with Craig stripping), and he decided to do a grad school thesis on strip clubs in D.C. before actually joining the industry.
A lot of the first half of the book is too tame or academic, with stories of the guys he interviewed at the clubs. He doesn't really provide much insight into these men because the talks are shallow and held at the workplace in between sets. Much of this seems like rehash from what he wrote in grad school, and the reader has to assume that the author recorded all the conversations since there are so many specific direct quotes.
The book only gets interesting once it shifts into being more about Seymour--when he decides to try stripping while he's continuing to teach a university course and completing his master's degree. His boyfriend/roommate is alluded to but their relationship isn't explored, and one has to wonder why Craig's supposedly monogamous guy would approve of hundreds of men touching Seymour's very private parts. The question arises about what does it mean to be monogamous or to "have sex," but the author never address it directly. He was certainly committing sexual acts with thousands of men over the course of his relationship, so was he really faithful even if no anal consummation occurred with his clients?
The fun part of the book starts once Craig decides to stop stripping, gets bored with the boyfriend of seven years, and starts to have sex with other men for the first time. His boyfriend kicks him out that night and suddenly the author starts going down the path of experiencing as many men as possible and he even starts drinking in his late 20s (which he hadn't done before).
The author doesn't go into a lot of detail regarding his hookups. A couple of descriptions are okay but for a book about sex work there's very little sex in it. He seemed to want the focus to shift on the lives of others (club workers and clients) to avoid his having to deal with analyzing his own choices. It's so obvious that he had a great life before he quit his strip club job--happily living with his first and only sexual partner--but once stripping stopped he needed the attention of men outside his home, so he became just another twisted, rowdy, horny middle aged guy as he aged.
He did go back to stripping off and on, but in the midst got it in his head that he wanted to be a writer. So without any experience or training he took on some work as a freelance critic for free publications, which grew into a major career. His life is proof that many "journalists" have absolutely no training or education in what it means to be a true objective writer, and the fact that Entertainment Weekly hired him without more than a couple articles to his name proves how low the standards are that that (and other) publications. Believe it or not, his being a stripper, and his including it in his resume, is what usually got him the writing jobs.
Once he tries to impress us with his interviews of people like Mariah Carey and Mary J. Blige I started dosing off--that's not what this book was supposed to be about and it was pretty boring. Then the end quickly wraps with him getting melancholy over the shuttering of the D.C. gay clubs.
The final three pages are somewhat analytical about his life, and he's absolutely right that he (and pretty much every gay man) is looking for attention, admiration, and acceptance--never happy with it from one person, always looking for a new guy to stroke his...ego. But then Seymour cops out and claims he's just confused over his past, is very lonely, that he'd never recommend to anyone that they strip in clubs, but that he's happy with his life today. Huh?
The whole thing is interesting and unique but poorly constructed and edited, and there could have been much more specifics on his life and sexuality. The end left me feeling like the author still doesn't understand why he allowed thousands of men to touch his private parts for money. And if he doesn't, then we certainly never will.
February 10, 2025
This book came out in 2008, and I bought it from a college bookstore in 2010, according to a receipt still tucked into that I used as a bookmark. Fifteen years later, I finally read it. All I Could Bare was like an exciting discovery among my own collection. It's conversational, full of interesting anecdotes and reflections, while staying sharp and to the point. The whole thing was a breeze to read.
The author got into stripping to learn something about himself, and I suspect that's how a lot of people reading this would come to it, too. All I Could Bare isn't particularly sensational. It remembers that stripping is work, which people come to for a lot of reasons, but no small number of them as students having fun and paying their way, like Craig Seymour. In the frank discussion of sex and nudity, it's easier to get at the intimacy, desire, loneliness, and need to feel attractive that characterize so many of the people in the scene. This understanding stays with him after, and helps him relate to interview subjects and celebrities when he moves on from stripping to writing.
All I Could Bare is a stellar time capsule that gives an accessible look at one part of gay DC in the 90s.
The author got into stripping to learn something about himself, and I suspect that's how a lot of people reading this would come to it, too. All I Could Bare isn't particularly sensational. It remembers that stripping is work, which people come to for a lot of reasons, but no small number of them as students having fun and paying their way, like Craig Seymour. In the frank discussion of sex and nudity, it's easier to get at the intimacy, desire, loneliness, and need to feel attractive that characterize so many of the people in the scene. This understanding stays with him after, and helps him relate to interview subjects and celebrities when he moves on from stripping to writing.
All I Could Bare is a stellar time capsule that gives an accessible look at one part of gay DC in the 90s.
August 14, 2021
Seymour details his journey as a stripper in DC gay clubs during the 90's (maybe the early 2000's, the timeline is a little fuzzy), and it is well-written, engaging, and fascinating. First, Seymour holds nothing back - all the details are shared in their full glory. Which I appreciated, as he really knows how to set the stage so that the reader is in the clubs with him.
As someone who has chosen to live in the DC area for 20+ years, I really enjoyed learning about the strip clubs' role within the city. I had no idea that the clubs were so open, and while the actual people of DC aren't uptight, its temporary inhabitants, who control much of the city, are. So it was a fascinating look at an unexpected part of DC history. Which is now gone - I presume to built Nats Stadium. I'm going to have to do a little digging, because now I'm curious about that.
As someone who has chosen to live in the DC area for 20+ years, I really enjoyed learning about the strip clubs' role within the city. I had no idea that the clubs were so open, and while the actual people of DC aren't uptight, its temporary inhabitants, who control much of the city, are. So it was a fascinating look at an unexpected part of DC history. Which is now gone - I presume to built Nats Stadium. I'm going to have to do a little digging, because now I'm curious about that.
December 5, 2021
I came across this book because I was unknowingly standing in front of the author, said it looked interesting, and he just reached across and handed it to me! This is one of the most interesting memoirs I’ve read - it reads like a diary with some advice thrown in, and is very frank and reflective, without the patronizing tone many memoirs have. It also includes some cool tidbits of history around the gay strip clubs in DC, including some information about why they are so sparse nowadays. I’m very disappointed in the ending given how he leads us through his thought processes for many decisions he makes throughout the book, and then says he regrets many of the decisions at the end with no explanation. Definitely would recommend for a light read ☺️ love the authors voice and definitely want to check out more of his writing.
March 23, 2018
Funny, hilarious. Candid and just a blast to read. I couldn't put it down. Another must re-read for me when I make the time for it.
July 30, 2019
Vivid account of the 90's D.C. strip club scene where almost anything goes.
December 14, 2021
A fascinating read.
April 22, 2022
read a snippet for my class, loved it so much i read it all.
June 5, 2022
Engaging and entertaining memoir about a very specific time and place - the DC strip clubs in the mid-1990’s or so.
November 18, 2009
No great writing or insights here, but a frank, open, simple outlook that was very refreshing. Also, his being a grad student and having studied gay culture, especially as it pertained to clubs, gave the book at least a century of context that was intriguing and edifying. Also, his being an African American who can pass for almost any ethnicity brought both a)black gay history into the story and b)a look at how race works as a factor within this kind of sex work---both of which I found fascinating and very relevant.And despite the fact that people who strip for the "experience" or to write a thesis on it usually get on my last nerve, even that worked out--I didn't feel like his research or his quest for a certain kind of experience were dilettante-ish or exploitative, and then eventually he does end up needing the money, and he doesn't seem to look down on his fellow workers at any step of the way. & though, as I've said, he's not the most remarkable writer, he CAN be the proverbial Lough Out Loud funny.
Then he has to kind of soil the whole affair by going into tiresome detail about his later career as a journalist interviewing hip hop and R+B celebrities. He should've left those pieces in Vibe, they disrupt the continuity of the story and make him sound like the worst stereotype of a screaming diva gayboy fan ever--I'm really not interested in what Janet Jackson and Mariah Carey were like in person, but you have to wince for him quite a bit as we're made aware of just how interested *he* is in that.
Then he has to kind of soil the whole affair by going into tiresome detail about his later career as a journalist interviewing hip hop and R+B celebrities. He should've left those pieces in Vibe, they disrupt the continuity of the story and make him sound like the worst stereotype of a screaming diva gayboy fan ever--I'm really not interested in what Janet Jackson and Mariah Carey were like in person, but you have to wince for him quite a bit as we're made aware of just how interested *he* is in that.
May 2, 2009
I thoroughly loved this book on a variety of levels.
The Prurient: I am not a gay man, so the world of gay strip clubs is one of the parts of the sex industry I'll never be able to engage with in an authentic way. I mean, sure, I can tip the boys on the bar, but it's just not the same. But I sure like dick, and I like reading about dick being fondled and stroked in a bar. Also, I pretty much never tire of funny and weird stories of sex work clients, especially when they are told in a tender way, as they are in this book.
The Bigger Life Picture: So many memoirs by sex workers are just about that sex working slice of their life, though maybe also they include stuff about the non-sex work intimate relationships that are concurrent with their time in the biz. This book is fabulous not just because you learn about where Craig was before the sex industry (there's only a bit of that), but you see what becomes of him once he leaves the business, which is awesome and inspiring. Plus, his experiences in the sex biz connect really strongly with who he becomes - he is critical of the times he compartmentalizes, and it's fabulous to see the thinky stuff happening.
The Storytelling: I really appreciate Craig Seymour as a writer - the book was a joy to read, well crafted, vivid, funny, and a little heartbreaking all at once.
The Prurient: I am not a gay man, so the world of gay strip clubs is one of the parts of the sex industry I'll never be able to engage with in an authentic way. I mean, sure, I can tip the boys on the bar, but it's just not the same. But I sure like dick, and I like reading about dick being fondled and stroked in a bar. Also, I pretty much never tire of funny and weird stories of sex work clients, especially when they are told in a tender way, as they are in this book.
The Bigger Life Picture: So many memoirs by sex workers are just about that sex working slice of their life, though maybe also they include stuff about the non-sex work intimate relationships that are concurrent with their time in the biz. This book is fabulous not just because you learn about where Craig was before the sex industry (there's only a bit of that), but you see what becomes of him once he leaves the business, which is awesome and inspiring. Plus, his experiences in the sex biz connect really strongly with who he becomes - he is critical of the times he compartmentalizes, and it's fabulous to see the thinky stuff happening.
The Storytelling: I really appreciate Craig Seymour as a writer - the book was a joy to read, well crafted, vivid, funny, and a little heartbreaking all at once.
July 13, 2008
For Craig, what started out as research for a school assingment, ended up beng a personal journey of exploring and understandng himself, his sexuality, and lead to new and great opportunities in his life. This was a wonderful book. Not only did I learn about Washington D.C.'s gay history , I also learned to ignore the stereotypes of stripping and to give the men and women who do strip a little more respect. Through Craig's book, I saw stripping through a different set of eyes. This was a great book. It only took me two days and a morning to finish reading it.
October 2, 2010
From beginning to end,Craig Seymour elaborates on sexually charged road,less traveled.Seymour breaks the down the mystic and envy they some may assume about sex walk. With personal as well as live accounts from other, Seymour's humanized a line of that has been viewed a degrading in the eyes of some people.
I read some reviews about how the celebrity interview seem to be out of place but after reading the book, I feel Seymour tied in the feelings of insecurities, low-self- confidence with what he had experienced in his life, maybe during the time he was stripping.
I read some reviews about how the celebrity interview seem to be out of place but after reading the book, I feel Seymour tied in the feelings of insecurities, low-self- confidence with what he had experienced in his life, maybe during the time he was stripping.
December 31, 2010
A surprisingly good read that is insightful, reflective, and enlightening into the go-go world of Washington DC. Seymour includes the history of gay life in DC, which adds a depth to this book that is often not found in other memoirs of sex workers. In that context, one's descent into a sex-charged underworld not only makes sense, but becomes for the reader a compassionate journey. Themes of coming out, and coming to terms with one's own demons and insecurities make this book relatable to any gay man who is real about himself. A light, quick read.
December 30, 2016
All I Could Bare is a light-hearted coming-of-age story in tube socks. Craig Seymour’s master’s thesis at University of Maryland led him first to visit the city’s strip clubs for “research” and ultimately to get on stage himself. He paints an endearing portrait of a seedy 90s Washington, where he found himself and learned skills that would later aid him as an entertainment journalist. It’s a quick, entertaining read probably of most interest to those that appreciate Washington as a city. Though fun, nothing in the book is particularly shocking.
August 28, 2009
Craig's journey as a young graduate student paying his way as a stripper leads him to interviewing some of the great pop icons whose music once paired with his tearing up the stage. Revealing and funny, in the rough.
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May 29, 2011It offered an interesting perspective on male sexuality as well as the more personal journey of the author. Although I understand how it connected to the stripping portion of his life, I found the end of the book less satisfying. Most of the book has just the right pace. Overall, I'd recommend it.
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August 18, 2008Loved this book. I live in the, now cleaned-up, section of DC where this is set so it was cool to learn some of the history and backdrop of the area.
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