Już się nie boję! Wszystko, czego nie mówią nam o menopauzie

by Naomi Watts, Alicja Długołęcka (Foreword), Aleksandra Weksej (Translator)

Najodważniejsza i najzabawniejsza książka o menopauzie. Nie musisz się bać, nie musisz się wstydzić, nie musisz cierpieć!

Hollywoodzka aktorka Naomi Watts miała 36 lat i była u szczytu kariery, gdy usłyszała od lekarza: to początek menopauzy. Szok? Tak. Koniec świata? Absolutnie nie!

Gwiazda Mulholland Drive w niezwykle szczery i odważny sposób opowiada historię, którą łączy z najnowszymi badaniami oraz wiedzą lekarzy, dietetyków i psychologów.

Aż 82% Polek boi się menopauzy. 70% nie wie, czym ona naprawdę jest. Kobiety czują się zagubione i często błędnie interpretują objawy, a lekarze z powodu braku wiedzy nie przekazują im rzetelnych informacji i wielokrotnie stawiają mylne diagnozy.

Czym się różni perimenopauza od menopauzy? Czemu tak często boli mnie bark? Dlaczego nie mogę sobie przypomnieć żadnego nazwiska? Czy już zawsze będę się budzić o trzeciej w nocy? Czemu tyję, choć jem coraz mniej? Czemu ludzie są tak irytujący? Czy to nowotwór, wczesny alzheimer, a może po prostu spadek estrogenu, któremu można zaradzić?

Naomi Watts w swojej przełomowej książce rozprawia się z największym lękiem milionów kobiet. Odczarowuje temat tabu i przekonuje, że wystarczająco długo starano się nas uciszyć i zawstydzić.

Ta książka przygotuje cię na zmiany, rozwieje wątpliwości, wyposaży w skuteczne narzędzia i pokaże, że zamiast cierpieć, możesz działać i dobrze się bawić.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Health, Memoir, Self Help, Science, Feminism

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 21, 2025

Reviews

[Wendy Darling · Rating 4 out of 5]

Naomi Watts was not on my shortlist of people to recommend vibrators to me, but here we are.

[StitchnmommaReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m glad we’re at the stage where more people are finding it acceptable to talk about the basic facts of life. There were portions of this book that didn’t apply to me and other parts I found very informative.

Thanks so much to both the author and publisher for the ARC I received.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm usually a fan of books that bring awareness to women's health topics, but it's disappointing to learn, while reading, that Watts owns a menopause supplement company (hence the reason for writing the book). Just as importantly, the science and research aren't precise enough. Plus, she sometimes casually mentions something a friend tried that's not evidence-based, without further context. It may be a starting point for some information and relatability, but do your research before trying things for your health.

[TL *Humaning the Best She Can* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Libby app, Overdrive was better
---

Important book for all women to read.. so glad we gave access to more information now.

Women's health needs to taken just as seriously. We've made strides but still have mileage to travel.


Appreciate and love Naomi's courage and candor here. Takes guts 👍🏼.

[Jolee B · Rating 3 out of 5]

If this is the only book you read on menopause, it’s probably pretty good. But what I’ve learned is that all the books say the same thing.
1. No one knows anything about menopause because doctors are all men and they suck
2. If you eat healthy, exercise and get sleep, symptoms can potentially be better
3. And sometimes symptoms aren’t better and that sucks
4. Use hormone replacement therapy, it’s not terrible for you like they said it was in the 80s.
5. Good luck
There you go. Now you never need to read another book on menopause.
Oh and bonus: it happens to everyone. You will gain weight. It’ll probably start around 40, maybe even earlier. But doctors won’t believe you when you say that’s what is happening. Again, good luck.

[Meags · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

IMHO, this is a current must-read for all adult women.

Exploring the known and lesser known about menopause (and all other sorts of women’s health related topics), Dare I Say It is an easy-to-absorb, often-times amusing, and most certainly enlightening read, both spearheaded and impressively presented by actress Naomi Watts, who has been quite the vocal advocate on the topic of menopause in recent years.

It’s not the be-all or end-all of menopause informational reads, but it most definitely gives the reader a solid history of the field of study and the female experiences of past generations, as well as providing insight into various health-related options and resources currently available today, all presented in an entertaining and comprehensible manner.

Simultaneously, the book provides vast and varied personal experiences from many women in menopause (and perimenopause), that will help younger women known what signs to look for as their bodies change with age, while also providing a platform for menopausal and post-menopausal women to felt seen, heard, and hopefully understood.

Women’s health desperately needs this kind of informational and anecdotal mainstream spotlight and this book is certainly a great step in the right direction—at the very least it’s been a conversation starter with the women in my life, for sure, making it a worthwhile read.

[Patricija || book.duo · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5

Ko iš knygos tikėjausi, tą su kaupu ir gavau – gyvas, įdomus, pamokantis ir iš tiesų malonus pokalbis su drauge. Mano atveju – kiek vyresne, bet tikslinės auditorijos atveju iš viso bus pats tas visais klausimais. Bet iš esmės net jei menopauzė jums dar toli (o Naomi istorija įrodo, kad ji gali būti DAAAAAUG arčiau nei mes galvojam ir buvom mokintos galvoti), vis tiek skaityti aktualu. Ne tik nes palies mus vienas, vienaip ar kitaip, bet ir nes tiek daug visko paaiškina ir nes galėsi prireikus parekomenduoti – ar mamai, ar tetai, ar kolegei, kurioms labai labai skauda petį, o tu jau žinosi, kad čia gali būti ir menopauzės požymis. Aišku, nereikėtų skubėti kitų diagnozuoti, bet čia Naomi labai gerai paaiškina kaip tai, kas atrodo nesusiję su tuo reikalu iš M raidės, iš tiesų susiję dar ir kaip labai.

Fainai, kad Naomi paliečia viską – ir santykius, ir sportą, mitybą, vitaminus, gydytojų požiūrį. Pasakoja iš savo varpinės, bet remiasi tyrimais ir realia moksline informacija, be to, akivaizdu, kad abiem kojom stovi ant žemės – įvertina, kad jos finansinės galimybės tikrai nebūtinai tokios kaip pavyzdžiui mano, knygą skaitančios. Tekstas aiškus, skaityti lengva ir įdomu, feminizmo yra, patirčių iš Holivudo yra, patarimų ir palaikymo, negruzinimo, bet noro padėti – irgi. Man rodos, šią knygą nuo kokių 35+ metų tikrai galėtų skaityti kiekviena ir rastų ką iš jos sau pasiimti. Nesavipagalbinė, neužknisanti, kokybiška ir aktuali.

[Stacy (Gotham City Librarian) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full honesty going into this review: I am biased. I’ve loved Naomi Watts for literal decades at this point. But I also wanted to read this because I'm in my (very!) early 40s and I want to be educated about what happens when you’re entering Menopause. There really is limited information out there unless you work to seek it out.

The best endorsement I can give for this book is that Watts is extremely candid, honest and likable. She does come across as one of your own friends, sitting down with you and telling you openly about her personal experiences while simultaneously providing you with encouragement to take care of yourself however you feel that you need to. It’s so scary to me that even a Hollywood goddess like her can be ignored and gaslit by multiple doctors. Not only that, but flat out treated like a child or a nuisance. I guess the experience of being a woman can be pretty universal in many ways. 

I appreciated both the overall tone of the book and the abundance of topics covered. I did learn some things. Example: Many of the mood swings and mental health symptoms that accompany Perimenopause are frequently misdiagnosed as pure Anxiety or Depression since doctors don’t have the proper training or the time to evaluate. So you could in fact be Menopausal and handed a prescription for one of these conditions instead. (Only about 30% of ob-gyns are trained in Menopause. WTF?!) I really appreciated the chapter about brain fog and memory loss. Watts gave specific examples from her own life about this happening to her and how she handles it in very public situations, like press junkets.

She does talk quite a bit about hormone therapy, because her personal experience with using it has been positive. But she doesn't act like a pusher and she includes stories from people she knows who wouldn't offer the same opinion. Watts has her own health and beauty company geared specifically towards Menopausal women, so she mentions it several times. Though I didn't get the impression that this was any sort of advertisement or excuse to move products. That being said, I do think the messaging is a little contradictory at times. She’s very supportive of women and talks about empowering ourselves and not adhering to society’s expectations, but then she also has many different tips for how to look younger and prettier. And I was disappointed to hear her say that she hasn’t completely ruled out getting plastic surgery someday. :/

Minor complaint, but I read this on Kindle and the book basically ended at 68%. The rest was notes, acknowledgments and an index. That’s a LOT of space for what’s essentially a bibliography.

I'm still rating this highly, because it felt like a great and informative resource on Menopause that is easily accessible. I think I'm due for a rewatch of "The Ring."

TW: Mentions of Miscarriage and Difficult Labor 

[Mindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a free advanced uncorrected proof from a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review. There's a lot to admire about this book: I appreciate Watts's vulnerability and openness most of all. I also appreciate how many experts she consulted for her excellent research. I can see this book being very helpful to a lot of readers. But, as much as I like Watts and as important as the subject matter is, as a book it was a little uneven. I liked the mix of research, sharing stories from others, and personal anecdotes, but maybe not mixed together in the same paragraph. There were quite a few rough transitions and abrupt endings, too. I've already read Haver's and Mosconi's books for much of the medical information Watts shared, so I might have just preferred a more traditional memoir with a tighter focus (and maybe a better editor?) Still, if you're not the type to read medical nonfiction and prefer the personal touch, then this book has it all. It's definitely a worthwhile read, even if it's not my favorite on the subject matter.

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Life creates a certain amount of bereavement with every day that you live."

I appreciate that this book exists. Our healthcare system is weird, and women's health can feel even weirder sometimes. My first instinct as I began reading was shock and awe, followed by feeling depressed that our bodies always just seem to be fighting us in different ways throughout our lives, and then I moved on to feeling empowered through knowledge so that when the time comes, I'll have a good idea when symptoms are likely related and have the resources to find an expert who will be patient and open. Candid, accessible, a solid read.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

An easy, well done and (literally) personally researched account of (for lack of a better phrase) an era every woman is destined to go through one way or the other by ‘a certain age’. I love topics that don’t seem to get the respect they deserve and let’s be totally honest- menopause doesn’t get its dues. This is just one book trying to right an absolutely atrocious wrong. I laughed, got emotional and felt well informed if not forewarned for what I know is coming for me someday in the not to far off future. Highly recommend.

[Janet Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m going to pile on to the many reviews of menopause books recently and say wow, what I didn’t know is a lot and I have a lot of questions for my doctor.

What I learned is that I don’t have to suffer in silence and may benefit from some form of HRT. I don’t know if that’s my next step but it’s definitely time for a discussion with my doctor.

Naomi Watts discusses in detail her own experiences, provides insight from doctors specializing in menopause, and includes great tips to help you find your way through the symptoms to get some relief. I think women in their 30’s should read this so they know what to expect and can recognize the symptoms when perimenopause begins. There are some potential health benefits to getting hormone therapy earlier that may help with brain health later. And that study on HRT in 2002 was deeply flawed and caused many women to suffer needlessly.

The most infuriating thing I learned is that doctors may only get a very brief education on perimenopause and research is not a priority. Just another way the patriarchy is sticking it to us. I hope that as we all read these books and push for better care from the medical profession we will be the last generation to suffer unnecessarily.

Time for me to make an appointment with my doctor!
5⭐️

[Trina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Time for a break from menopause books lol They all seem to say the same things (not getting much new now).

[Senga krew_w_piach · Rating 4 out of 5]

To była pierwsza książka o menopauzie, którą czytałam i uważam, że na początek jest świetna. Nie zasypuje wiedzą, ale przekazuje podstawowe informacje, dzięki czemu udało mi się bardziej holistycznie spojrzeć na to co dzieje się z moim organizmem i upewnić w tym, że mój lekarz mnie po prostu spławił. Następnym razem będę miała przygotowaną dokładną listę objawów na kartce i nie pozwolę sobie wmówić, że jak nie mam uderzeń gorąca to wymyślam sobie jakieś menopauzy.

Jestem osobą uczuloną na poradniki, a dzięki luźnej opowieści, wypełnionej anegdotkami i osobistym doświadczeniem, wciągnęłam się i nie miałam ochoty po 30 stronach rzucać czytnikiem o ścianę (na szczęście, bo to kosztuje 😅). Czy niektóre z historyjek wydawały mi się oderwane od rzeczywistości i mogłabym otagować je jako #problemypierwszegoświata? Być może 😉 Ale sięgnęłam po książkę hollywoodzkiej gwiazdy i nie mogę się czepiać, że pokazuje swoją codzienność. Wyraźne są też różnice pomiędzy USA i Polską, choćby w zakresie medycyny i dostępności leków. Pomimo tego znalazłam tu sporo tematów uniwersalnych - nie tylko związanych z menopauzą. Było o tym jak medycyna i lekarze postrzegają zdrowie kobiet, o wyśrubowanych oczekiwaniach estetycznych, o macierzyństwie i pracy opiekuńczej, o dojrzewaniu do mówienia głośno tego co siedzi nam w głowie i życia po swojemu. Oczywiście zdarzały się hasła w stylu amerykańskiego coachingu i parę truizmów, nie każdy rozdział przekonał mnie w całości, ale ogólnie znalazłam w tej książce dużo fajnego, empowerującego przekazu, który może nie wnosi wiele w perspektywę wojującej lewaczki, ale dla przeciętnej kobiety, która nie miała w życiu feministycznych rozkmin, może być otwierający.

Przede wszystkim jednak ta książka to dla mnie hołd dla siostrzeństwa i za to polubiłam ją najbardziej. Sama musiałam dojrzeć do tego, żeby zobaczyć jakie fajne są kobiety i jak fajnie się nimi otaczać. Watts ciągle pisze o swoich przyjaciółkach, cały czas wśród kobiet przebywa i zachęca przez całą książkę do tego żeby się koleżankować, budować sieci z innymi kobietami, być razem. Przy czym nie robi tego wcale z pozycji odrzucenia mężczyzn czy złości na patriarchat. Dla mnie to było super!

[The Reading Raccoon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I’d Known About Menopause is a guidebook about menopause written by actress Naomi Watts. It includes statistics, information, and anecdotes from doctors and other experts in the field of menopause research.

Dare I Say It is a relatable and helpful book about a subject that doesn’t always get the attention it deserves: menopause. I went in completely uninformed, and I feel like I came away with solid information and questions for my doctor. It covers everything from symptoms to expect, including sexual health, mood and personality changes, physical changes, and treatment options. Everything was laid out in an engaging and informative way.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

🎧 Audiobook Notes: The audiobook of Dare I Say It is narrated by Naomi Watts and Allyson Ryan. They both do an excellent job with the material, making it educational without being dull.

Disclosure: An ALC (advanced listening copy) was provided by Penguin Random House Audio for review purposes. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Bookish Mama Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to PRH Audio for the gifted copy! This is a nonfiction that I’d recommend to ALL of my friends. This is a conversation that should be shared in all spaces. So many good takeaways. As someone who isn’t yet in menopause this experience has helped me develop an understanding of what is to come and to have empathy for other Women in my life. Can’t recommend enough!

[Amanda Conway · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this one - so much helpful information! Every woman 35+ should listen to it.

[Jenny Bunting · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone in the midst of perimenopause, I found this full of information relevant to me and my current stage of life. More books like this need to exist to give hope, information, and community to an experience that can be isolating. I will continue to consume media like this.

As for the three-star rating, I personally didn’t care that much about the author’s own experience so my interest waned a little. Like Naomi Watts is fine? Also, I felt like parts of it felt like advertising for her own mid-life-focused company Stripes Beauty. Like get it, chica, but I also rolled my eyes every time she mentioned it.

This was fine on audio.

[Tanja Berg · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pretty decent and very personal menopause account, that covers what happens and what to do about it. Naomi Watts does a splendid job compiling relevant information, paired with delightful stories from her own experience.

I’m in perimenopause and thanks to social media influencers like Tova Leigh, I knew the term before it hit me. Still, at the beginning of last year, I had months of wondering «what the hell is wrong with me». I realized I could no longer metabolize alcohol well, I was gaining weight and generally feeling ill with diffuse symptoms like brain fog, night sweats and what not. When it finally dawned on me that it was my age (46 at the time), I changed my diet: cut out all added sugars, sodas and reduced alcohol to once in a blue moon rather than every week. It helped a lot.

Reading this book, I’m wondering whether I should ask for hormone replacement therapy as well. I’m feeling better, but my PMS is insane and lasts much longer than before. Let’s see! This book has armed me with more useful information and advice on how to approach my middle aged GP with zero menopause training.

[Beth Bonini · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a likeable and easy-to-read guide to the female midlife passage dominated by the hormonal changes of perimenopause and menopause. I wish that I had had access to it 10 years ago, when I was first entering that stage and had little to no knowledge of what was happening to me. Undoubtedly, Naomi Watts - who experienced such an early perimenopause that it was nearly simultaneous with her late childbearing - would have also enjoyed this guidebook 10 years ago. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of a public conversation on the topic even a decade ago. A lot of conscious raising, not to mention HRT rehabilitation, has been done since then.

Most of the information in this book is now pretty well-known to me, so it wasn’t particularly illuminating in that respect. I did enjoy the candidness of Watts’ own experiences, although the book - especially in its chapter summaries - could feel a bit anodyne. I would recommend this book to those who are more at the beginning of their menopause journey, but it does cover the basics fairly well and I want to give Watts full credit for being willing to take on such a taboo topic.

[Sian Lile-Pastore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Appreciate Watts sharing her story and being such an advocate for healthcare during perimenopause and menopause, and this had lots of helpful information mixed in with her personal story.

I did find that this is told from a very particular viewpoint - heterosexual, cisgender, privileged white woman - and would have benefited from different voices and more inclusive language.

[Natalie HH · Rating 5 out of 5]

Required reading as a woman of any age (because this WILL be you one day)! Teens and 20 somethings, read this to prepare yourself. Mid life lovelies - run, don't walk - we're finally being seen!

Thank you, Naomi!

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just the right combination of science, opinion, and narrative! Definitely recommend to my lady friends.

[Heather Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned SO MUCH. I'm more armed with information and I feel better about going through this big life change. Most importantly, I don't feel crazy about what's happening with my body and emotions. I'm feeling more optimistic. I listened to the audiobook (read by Naomi Watts herself) and it felt like a conversation with a friend. Every woman should read/listen to Dare I Say It, whether you're going through perimenopause, menopause, or just to understand what your mother went through.

[Reannon Bowen]

If, like me. You’ve already been reading about peri & menopause for quite a few years you won’t find any new info in here but hearing Naomi speak about her own experience was interesting.

[Andreea Ursu-Listeveanu · Rating 4 out of 5]

The second book I read on menopause—covering both pre- and post-menopause—offers fresh insights compared to the first one, The New Menopause . What sets it apart is its deeply personal and emotional tone. I find it especially compelling to compare the two, given that Naomi Watts’s account draws heavily on her conversations with Dr. Mary Claire Haver, the author of the first book.

From a medical and scientific standpoint, everything Watts discusses is accurate. However, her personal journey has made her a strong advocate for hormone therapy, as it worked well for her. The New Menopause, on the other hand, emphasizes that hormone therapy is not suitable for everyone, as it can be contraindicated in many cases. That’s why it’s important to also read Dr. Haver’s more clinical and comprehensive perspective.

What I appreciated most in Watts’s book were the intimate details—how she felt entering menopause before the age of 40, how this “misfortune” affected her life as an actress, but especially her family life and how it intertwined with her experience of infertility. Unlike the more theoretical tone of the first book, this one explores a broader range of changes that come with aging: from skin deterioration to shifts in fashion choices, makeup routines, and even the liberating sense of no longer caring so much about others' opinions.

Watts also discusses the potential impact of menopause on her career—a topic often overlooked. She feared it could have ended her time in the spotlight, but she also highlights how even in Hollywood, women are aging and continuing to thrive, thanks in part to the growing openness and dialogue around this stage of life.

We’ve come a long way—from treating menopause and other natural transformations of the female body as taboo, to finally, in the 2020s, beginning to study and understand the unique physiology of women. We’re moving toward a future where research recognizes that women are not simply smaller versions of men, but biologically distinct, and deserving of dedicated medical understanding.

Thank goodness we live in this era. Get informed!

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book about menopause and midlife from actress Naomi Watts, who prior to reading this book I did not know was also a menopause activist after going into early menopause. Through sharing her own experiences, experiences of people she knows, and research and interviews with many doctors quoted, she illuminates a number of issues and advice on how to take care of and advocate yourself.

The conversational tone of the book and the anecdotes make this an easy read and not one that felt boring even when it was discussing issues that do not apply to me (or at least not so far…). And on audio, listening to this in Naomi’s warm and emotive voice with her lovely Australian accent makes it a great listen. Looking forward to discussing with my Hot Flashes Book Club.

Thank you to Penguin Random House audio for my copy; all opinions are my own.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love that we are talking more about perimenopause and menopause and recommend those parts of this book (and many other books and articles) to all women!I also appreciated the discussions on sexual health and mental health during this time. What I didn’t love about this book was how it went back and forth between focusing on loving yourself and resisting how society treats women and then naming all of the products and treatments you can use to look more like society wants you to look. All in all I would recommend this one for your women’s health library.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I highly recommend this for those who want to learn what to expect during perimenopause, and during menopause. My mom has been in menopause for close to 20 years. Yes, 20 years! She still suffers from hot flashes and more. I listened to the audio and while it was a great start, I really need to read the book to digest some of the details because the audio went so fast.

Narration was good too. Overall, I give this about 3.5 or so stars.

[Jacm · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought provoking and informative. Rather than providing definitive answers and instructions, Watts achieves her goal of starting a conversation among women, their networks and the health system about what is often a taboo subject. While many of her references - particularly advice about the health system- are American centric, the majority of what is written is relevant for women living in any country.