Nobody acts like this. The whole book was bizarre. Every time a character did something, I was just sitting there like…why would you even do that?
This was sitting at 2 stars for me, but then there was a scene where Michael is exercising with his literal cock and balls out, legs in the air, and I got the ick so bad I had to stop reading and immediately message my friend about it.
The writing itself was fine, I guess. It’s supposed to be a rom-com, and while it’s painfully obvious where the jokes are meant to be, i didn’t actually laugh. To be fair, humor is subjective, and this clearly wasn’t written with someone like me in mind, which is fine. Maybe it’ll work for you.
My main issue is how immature and…unreal these characters are. Like, Michael’s whole personality is being grumpy, emotionally unavailable, and terrified of love because of his abandonment issues, yet within an hour of meeting Calliope, he’s all, “she’s off-limits.” What? Why does he care so much? Why is he so possessive and protective in chapter one? It stops the potential of any actual strong character development happening.
Calliope — She has no personality outside of her rats. The rats having weird internal monologues was driving me insane, btw. She says rats have bad PR (which, fine, it’s true), but somehow, literally everyone she meets—including the entire hockey team and their staff—is cool with the rats. Also, her family is written as this over-the-top circus troupe, which I know was the entire point, but it was so cartoony it just made my eyes roll. It reiterated the fact that these characters do not feel like real people.
Michael — Grumpy birdwatching man who hates love because his family abandoned him. That’s it. That’s literally his character. Oh, he has a secret charity to help orphans in hockey, so he’s actually a secret softie.
There were so many bizarre choices in this book. Like, Michael’s secret project being his charity (why was that even a secret?), the random stalker subplot, and the completely unnecessary fake dating. Nothing these characters did felt believable, and since they had zero chemistry or relationship development, I just didn’t care about any of it or what happened to them.