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Group Living: And Other Recipes
For fans of Braiding Sweetgrass and How to Do Nothing—books that invite us to imagine better ways to live (and live with each other)—comes a spirited and charming exploration of group living from a child of the counterculture that encourages us to redefine the meaning of home and family.
Lola Milholland grew up in the nineties, the child of iconoclastic hippies. Her mom—energetic and intense at work and at play, whether at her job marketing for an agricultural co-op or paddling down a river, fat spliff in hand—had spent her life revolting against the strictures of her American and Filipino upbringing. Her dad, a child of the eastern Oregon desert, was a jovial documentary filmmaker and historian who loved to collect ephemera. Both threw open the doors of the Holman House, their rambling home in Portland, Oregon, to long-term visitors and unusual guests in need of a place to stay. Years later, after college and after her parents’ separation, Milholland returned home. There, she joined her brother and his housemates—an eccentric group of stop-motion animators and accomplished cooks—in choosing to further the experiment of communal living into a new generation.
Group Living and Other Recipes tells the story of the residents of the Holman House—of transcendent meals and ecstatic parties, of colorful characters coming together in moments of deep tenderness and inevitable irritation, of a shared life that is appealing, humorous, confounding, and, just maybe, utopian—with a wider exploration of group living as a way of life.
Thoughtful, quirky, candid, and wise, Group Living and Other Recipes provides a convincing case that “now is always the right time to reimagine home and family”—and introduces a gifted memoirist and food writer in the tradition of Laurie Colwin, Ruth Reichl, and M.F.K. Fisher.
Includes a PDF of all recipes in the text.
PLEASE When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
Lola Milholland grew up in the nineties, the child of iconoclastic hippies. Her mom—energetic and intense at work and at play, whether at her job marketing for an agricultural co-op or paddling down a river, fat spliff in hand—had spent her life revolting against the strictures of her American and Filipino upbringing. Her dad, a child of the eastern Oregon desert, was a jovial documentary filmmaker and historian who loved to collect ephemera. Both threw open the doors of the Holman House, their rambling home in Portland, Oregon, to long-term visitors and unusual guests in need of a place to stay. Years later, after college and after her parents’ separation, Milholland returned home. There, she joined her brother and his housemates—an eccentric group of stop-motion animators and accomplished cooks—in choosing to further the experiment of communal living into a new generation.
Group Living and Other Recipes tells the story of the residents of the Holman House—of transcendent meals and ecstatic parties, of colorful characters coming together in moments of deep tenderness and inevitable irritation, of a shared life that is appealing, humorous, confounding, and, just maybe, utopian—with a wider exploration of group living as a way of life.
Thoughtful, quirky, candid, and wise, Group Living and Other Recipes provides a convincing case that “now is always the right time to reimagine home and family”—and introduces a gifted memoirist and food writer in the tradition of Laurie Colwin, Ruth Reichl, and M.F.K. Fisher.
Includes a PDF of all recipes in the text.
PLEASE When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
Audible Audio
First published January 1, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 173 reviews
October 16, 2024
all i'm hearing is found family...
and that i love books with recipes. i've genuinely never made one in my life but that doesn't stop me from being like hell yes every time i see them.
otherwise, this book was not bad, but i don't think it'll be particularly memorable to me.
a weird part of reading memoirs is the feeling that you have to deem someone's life story worthy of telling. i don't like doing that, but i will say that the more traditional nonfiction parts of this, documenting group living in general, felt a lot stronger to me.
because otherwise i don't really know why i was reading this.
bottom line: the best case of a worst case.
(thanks to the publisher for the arc)
and that i love books with recipes. i've genuinely never made one in my life but that doesn't stop me from being like hell yes every time i see them.
otherwise, this book was not bad, but i don't think it'll be particularly memorable to me.
a weird part of reading memoirs is the feeling that you have to deem someone's life story worthy of telling. i don't like doing that, but i will say that the more traditional nonfiction parts of this, documenting group living in general, felt a lot stronger to me.
because otherwise i don't really know why i was reading this.
bottom line: the best case of a worst case.
(thanks to the publisher for the arc)
February 15, 2024
I think this is going to be my number one book of 2024.
I’m partial to memoirs, so the genre is automatically my favorite, but not all memoirs live up to this one. It’s so descriptive, hilariously told, and honest. The author is a master of show, don’t tell, and there’s so much brightness in her tone that you can’t help wondering if she’s really on to something about communal living.
This is a book about living in communal settings, the food that accompanies this environment, and growing up in the Pacific Northwest. My husband grew up in Portland at the same time as this author (it was actually weird back then), so her stories about the city were familiar to me. She grew up in an unconventional family and opted for group living as an adult. Many times she questions whether she should be like everyone else and get married/have kids, but as we see in the book (and in our own lives, let’s be honest), she makes a compelling case for group living. This book shows how far we have strayed from community as a society, and I wonder if we might all be happier if we didn’t try to fit the patriarchal mold of marriage, kids, and a house.
She doesn’t view group living through rose-colored lenses. She details the challenges of navigating many different personalities and conflicts. But living with a partner can be isolating too. I am not sure I could live in a group setting - I very much need alone time - still, I was so intrigued by this story.
There’s a lot of comedy in these pages. There are recipes too, written with flair the way the late Anthony Bourdain (who is mentioned in a chilling passage in this book) did in his own cookbooks. The point is that meals should always be made with love and care.
I love so much about this book. I really hope it takes the memoir market by storm because there’s nothing like this in the literary world.
I’m partial to memoirs, so the genre is automatically my favorite, but not all memoirs live up to this one. It’s so descriptive, hilariously told, and honest. The author is a master of show, don’t tell, and there’s so much brightness in her tone that you can’t help wondering if she’s really on to something about communal living.
This is a book about living in communal settings, the food that accompanies this environment, and growing up in the Pacific Northwest. My husband grew up in Portland at the same time as this author (it was actually weird back then), so her stories about the city were familiar to me. She grew up in an unconventional family and opted for group living as an adult. Many times she questions whether she should be like everyone else and get married/have kids, but as we see in the book (and in our own lives, let’s be honest), she makes a compelling case for group living. This book shows how far we have strayed from community as a society, and I wonder if we might all be happier if we didn’t try to fit the patriarchal mold of marriage, kids, and a house.
She doesn’t view group living through rose-colored lenses. She details the challenges of navigating many different personalities and conflicts. But living with a partner can be isolating too. I am not sure I could live in a group setting - I very much need alone time - still, I was so intrigued by this story.
There’s a lot of comedy in these pages. There are recipes too, written with flair the way the late Anthony Bourdain (who is mentioned in a chilling passage in this book) did in his own cookbooks. The point is that meals should always be made with love and care.
I love so much about this book. I really hope it takes the memoir market by storm because there’s nothing like this in the literary world.
July 12, 2024
Milholland grew up in a home with playful, carefree parents who were always inviting others in. Never mind why they were there, where they came from, or how long they needed to stay—all were welcome. Home was a place of acceptance and community.
“My parents had an unspoken philosophy about the house: We only deserve it if we share it.”
Milholland continued this trend of communal living for herself as she moved through her twenties and in to her thirties. In the many homes that she shared, food acted as an offering of love; her and her housemates cooking up delectable meals for one another.
“By cooking for and eating food made by other people, I give and receive each day, which feels as central to my life as inhaling and exhaling.”
Group Living and Other Recipes tells the tale of unforgettable meals, lively gatherings, and the complexities of communal living. The stories are as warm and inviting as the recipes listed inside.
Thank you Spiegel & Grau and Netgalley for the digital copy in exchange for an honest review. Available 08/06/2024.
“My parents had an unspoken philosophy about the house: We only deserve it if we share it.”
Milholland continued this trend of communal living for herself as she moved through her twenties and in to her thirties. In the many homes that she shared, food acted as an offering of love; her and her housemates cooking up delectable meals for one another.
“By cooking for and eating food made by other people, I give and receive each day, which feels as central to my life as inhaling and exhaling.”
Group Living and Other Recipes tells the tale of unforgettable meals, lively gatherings, and the complexities of communal living. The stories are as warm and inviting as the recipes listed inside.
Thank you Spiegel & Grau and Netgalley for the digital copy in exchange for an honest review. Available 08/06/2024.
December 20, 2024
communal living is something i think about almost every day. our society is so set on living with a romantic partner, your potential children, and no one else. when really, it makes sense to have a whole community of friends to share your life with, if not in the same house, at least next door. need all my friends to read this so they can be convinced to move next door to me and spend the rest of our lives together!
loved the discussions in here of capitalism, activism, and the dissolving the nuclear family. maybe this is more like a 3.5 for me, because there were some parts of the memoir that felt structured oddly to me. i found myself not as interested in some aspects of the narrator's life, but i could see how they all tied into her experience of group living.
loved the discussions in here of capitalism, activism, and the dissolving the nuclear family. maybe this is more like a 3.5 for me, because there were some parts of the memoir that felt structured oddly to me. i found myself not as interested in some aspects of the narrator's life, but i could see how they all tied into her experience of group living.
September 24, 2024
Refreshing, unique and thought-provoking book that is more than a memoir. The scaffolding of the book is the author sharing tender and (mostly) joyful accounts of her unconventional life growing up in the Pacific Northwest as part of an activist family. Her parents had an open door policy and as a result, Lola became accustomed to sharing her home and meals with a rotating cast of family, friends, and international visitors. Carrying this tradition into her adult life, she now lives in her childhood home with her brother and other friends.
What makes the book special is how the author uses her personal experiences of group living to reflect on larger issues like the US housing crisis, racism in housing, the loneliness epidemic, the military-industrial complex, mushroom hunting as an act of collective remembering for Japanese-Americans, and how cooking is a communal act of gift-giving.
I attended a talk given by the author where she said the first idea she had for the book was to recreate one of the "commune cookbooks" from the 1970s as a self-published 'zine. A friend encouraged her to seek publication, and the project expanded to this memoir where every chapter ends with a recipe. As she explained in her talk:
"Every recipe exists, I hope in a couple different layers. The first is that it was taught to me, given to me, cooked for me by someone who I love, someone who I've lived with, and I'm interested in the ways that we live with people and they grow us, or they change us, how deep friendships change us. And so I wanted to share something that someone had given to me, that had become part of my life, had become integral to my life, and changed who I am. And so that was the first reason I wanted to include recipes. And then the second is, because food is at the center of communities all the time. In cooking and eating together and offering recipes, I imagine that people will cook them for others, that they will create a communal experience from the action of following that recipe. And that felt really important to me, like, you know, recipes bring the book into the real world in a mundane and a profound sense."
As far as the "group living" part of the book is concerned, there are extensive passages dedicated to various structures such as cohousing and eco-villages. Several members of the author's extended family have either founded or live in these types of intentional communities and Lola takes the reader with her as she visits them, shares their everday lives, and converses with them about the pluses and minuses of their chosen community.
Ultimately, Milholland admits she doesn't have a recipe for the perfect group living arrangement because there is no one model that will work for everyone. She sees life as being ever-changing and that it helps to try to be more open to different ways of living.
What makes the book special is how the author uses her personal experiences of group living to reflect on larger issues like the US housing crisis, racism in housing, the loneliness epidemic, the military-industrial complex, mushroom hunting as an act of collective remembering for Japanese-Americans, and how cooking is a communal act of gift-giving.
I attended a talk given by the author where she said the first idea she had for the book was to recreate one of the "commune cookbooks" from the 1970s as a self-published 'zine. A friend encouraged her to seek publication, and the project expanded to this memoir where every chapter ends with a recipe. As she explained in her talk:
"Every recipe exists, I hope in a couple different layers. The first is that it was taught to me, given to me, cooked for me by someone who I love, someone who I've lived with, and I'm interested in the ways that we live with people and they grow us, or they change us, how deep friendships change us. And so I wanted to share something that someone had given to me, that had become part of my life, had become integral to my life, and changed who I am. And so that was the first reason I wanted to include recipes. And then the second is, because food is at the center of communities all the time. In cooking and eating together and offering recipes, I imagine that people will cook them for others, that they will create a communal experience from the action of following that recipe. And that felt really important to me, like, you know, recipes bring the book into the real world in a mundane and a profound sense."
As far as the "group living" part of the book is concerned, there are extensive passages dedicated to various structures such as cohousing and eco-villages. Several members of the author's extended family have either founded or live in these types of intentional communities and Lola takes the reader with her as she visits them, shares their everday lives, and converses with them about the pluses and minuses of their chosen community.
Ultimately, Milholland admits she doesn't have a recipe for the perfect group living arrangement because there is no one model that will work for everyone. She sees life as being ever-changing and that it helps to try to be more open to different ways of living.
April 27, 2024
oh my god *swoon* i can’t find the words to express my gratitude to this book. miss ruth ozeki blurbed on the front, “this book is like finding a friend.” it is, it is, it is! many friends, really, with the joyous cast of characters that populate this memoir-esque literary concoction. these are friends i want to sit and drink tea on the porch with!! for a long time! keen, tender, humorous (!) observations and tidbits… honest reflections… Recipes… related to what group living can look like (in all its iterations) and, at the heart of this, the practice of caring for one another. beautiful. expansive. cracked me open! thank you, lola milholland! this book is a gift and i will be sharing it!
February 14, 2024
I enjoyed reading Lola’s memoir and found her writing detailed and informative. I was unfamiliar with many of the practices her parents demonstrated, so I felt like I was truly stepping into a new world. I liked how the book unraveled and was pleased to ha e so many recipes included! Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.
August 4, 2024
Lola Milholland had a childhood spent with free-spirited parents that approached life sharing EVERYTHING. Communal living is explored within the larger topics of family, non traditional jobs, nuclear power, food, housing shortages, Oregon history and so much more. Weird, but she makes it work. And there are recipes!
I don't think I would be successful at group living, but I so appreciate the value of communal meals and relationships.
Thank you to Spiegel & Grau, Spotify Audiobooks and NetGalley for the ARC!
I don't think I would be successful at group living, but I so appreciate the value of communal meals and relationships.
Thank you to Spiegel & Grau, Spotify Audiobooks and NetGalley for the ARC!
March 23, 2025
It's so early in the year, but I think I have found my top book for 2025. What an insightful and candid memoir. I was drawn in by the stories told and delighted by the recipes imparted. Good I love this book.
July 16, 2024
Narration: A
Content/Memoir: A-
Story Telling/Writing: A-
Best Aspect: Very real and emotional memoir, with lots of interesting recipes.
Worst Aspect: Be a good one to have in print as well as audio for the recipes.
Recommend: Yes
Content/Memoir: A-
Story Telling/Writing: A-
Best Aspect: Very real and emotional memoir, with lots of interesting recipes.
Worst Aspect: Be a good one to have in print as well as audio for the recipes.
Recommend: Yes
September 9, 2024
I read reviews that suggested Group Living would be a joyful, life-affirming memoir. It wasn’t. For the most part it wasn’t a memoir at all. The only sections I really enjoyed were about mushroom hunting. The author’s thoughts about group living were interesting until they weren’t, starting at around halfway through the book. By the end I could not have cared less about yet another group’s version of communal living. The recipes weren’t my style, for the most part. I wasn’t fond of the writing style at all. The constant similes only drew attention to themselves rather than advancing the narrative. I almost closed the book after this one: “Corey woke up not long after, between six and seven o’clock, energetic and alert, like a dog who’d just pooped.” Seriously?! (Corey is her boyfriend, btw. Just..no.)
With some tight editing this could have been a good feature article. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a good book.
With some tight editing this could have been a good feature article. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a good book.
March 9, 2024
What it is: a few autobiographical personal essays, in somewhat chronological order. Each inspects an element or two of group living: the intentional communities of her relatives, the informal and unspoken rules of friends living together, and points in between. Honest, fair, scrupulous, and humble.
What it isn’t: an occasion for stylistic fireworks and attention-grabbing prose or paragraphs.
Each self-contained chapter concludes with a pair of recipes that make me ache for the hippie gourmands of Portland, and which nicely cap the lessons of the previous tale.
The reviewer would like to thank the author and her household for hosting the last Portland party I attended before moving away a decade ago. Seriously, thank you: a fitting and wonderful convocation.
What it isn’t: an occasion for stylistic fireworks and attention-grabbing prose or paragraphs.
Each self-contained chapter concludes with a pair of recipes that make me ache for the hippie gourmands of Portland, and which nicely cap the lessons of the previous tale.
The reviewer would like to thank the author and her household for hosting the last Portland party I attended before moving away a decade ago. Seriously, thank you: a fitting and wonderful convocation.
June 5, 2024
I found this to be a fascinating look into the lives of people very different from me, with the added bonus of a few recipes that sounded really good. I am going to order it for our library.
July 26, 2024
Thank you Netgalley, Spiegel & Grau, and Lola Milholland for this ARC in exchange for my review!
I couldn’t have concocted a more perfectly suited pick to be my first NetGalley ARC.
Memoir (check), food & recipes (check), culture & family (check).
Before getting into the book: The author and I are the same age, love food & cooking, and both currently live in the Pacific Northwest. We’re both multicultural/biracial yet white passing, growing up feeling like a “muddle” and figuring out our identities without fully fitting into either culture. Too white for our non-white half, yet also definitely feeling like we could not identify as “just white”. I’m interested in different ways that families and homes work, how we structure them, how this decision creates a miniaturized culture of our own. A synchronization occurs whether we live with a chosen family, nuclear, extended, in communities, or as solo organisms. I was still a little hesitant going into this book because there have been many times that a book flops even if it hits all the right genres and topics, but this was a great read!
Group Living is a book that is something tender yet bold. Moments of thoughtful insights, when I would pause and absorb and bookmark to reread later. Even if sometimes I didn’t necessarily agree with what was being said, it was still something unique and human and real that I could respect and nod along with nonetheless. Like having a conversation with a friend who has different opinions than you, but you’re still kindred spirits. Other moments were an unabashed letting loose. Wild laughter, big parties with strange costumes, parents who were polyamorous and smoked week with their (adult) children. My family and childhood were very different. Sensibly traditional, modest, quiet. But it was also similar. We were our own people, our own team. We often didn’t quite fit anywhere but together, my family was my place.
The author explores group living in various homes - from her own memories, her uncle’s stories, her parents’ - as well as the meaning of a Nuclear Family. And I loved reading about her parents - their openness and near brazenness would probably intimidate me a little in real life, as an introvert with a twang of TCK awkwardness, but they seem awesome. Her dad: “His easy laugh comes out like a shout: “HA!” When he dances, he strides in place, occasionally kicking out a leg and punching the air to the beat: “HA! HA! HA!”
Dipping into this book was enjoyable, listening to stories about things so foreign but also somehow familiar. I wanted to learn more about certain topics afterwards - always a good sign when you’re Googling while reading, in my opinion (if it’s out of curiosity, not lack of understanding/clarity). I wanted to know more about the characters, whether they were fellow humans or the seemingly-living Holman House. I liked those people, even the ones that would overwhelm me to be in their presence in real life, or who slightly grated my nerves, or who were a bit chaotic. I liked them all anyway in the same way you like your odd relative, or a very-different sibling, or that friend who annoys the hell out of you sometimes but they’re like family and you love them oh-so-much.
Lola Milholland tells her stories from childhood to the present day, with a little wink, a nod at knowing that she can laugh a little at “hippie” lifestyles. There are stories from her time growing up in the Holman House, with various people staying with them at random, sometimes for short stints and other times for weeks. There are stories from her time in Japan as a young adult. There are also stories from those lonely, intense, bizarre first days of Covid, which bled into weeks, months, and (what would have been incomprehensible if we’d known from the beginning) years. Balancing her witty, or sometimes outright funny stories, there were heartbreaking and enraging topics as well. George Floyd’s murder, and the collective grief and rage that ensued. Her uncle’s annual Father’s Day event, where he organizes a peaceful protest - complete with quirky, heartfelt art to illustrate his points - against the weapons manufacturing and transfer at the NavMag Indian Island near Port Townsend. Naval Magazine Indian Island, the only deep-water storage facility and way station for military weapons of its kind on the West Coast. I didn’t know it was such a huge manufacturer and base for transporting weapons. This whole section was so relevant with the present-day genocide in Gaza, and how we have been supplying the weapons for nearly a year now.
And there is, of course, so much writing on food, and the delicious recipes at the end of each chapter. As someone who loves food - eating it, cooking it, being in restaurants and kitchens and exploring ways that food connects people - I loved Lola’s enthusiasm for it.
“Sharing food has always been at the center of my life, a way of communicating beyond language: What do we carry with us from previous relationships to people and places? What tastes good to us? What makes us feel good? These recipes were given to me, and now I offer them to you. Please make them and share them. Bring my home into yours!”
I also hold onto recipes from my childhood, from meals at my Egyptian grandmother’s home, from dinners at my German grandmother’s home. Lola says of her mother, “Food remains a tether to her identity and her past,” and this resonates with me. The author is definitely much more knowledgeable than me on topics of cooking, growing food, sustainability, and food politics, which inspires me to step up my learning. Lola worked at a nonprofit, focusing on the economics of local farming. She also spent time trying to get more local food into school-lunch programs, and wrote for a food magazine.
There’s a wide range of offered recipes: Thai food, salads, cantaloupe seed horchata. Recipes that she’s created, as well as recipes shared by her family, friends, and housemates. The three recipes I’d like to try first are Chris’s Khao Tod (Crispy Broken-Rice Salad), Sakiko’s Hiyashi Chuka (Cold Sesame Noodles) with Jammy Eggs, Peas, and Pickled Radish, and David’s Seedy Granola (includes a little fruit jam!).
I couldn’t have concocted a more perfectly suited pick to be my first NetGalley ARC.
Memoir (check), food & recipes (check), culture & family (check).
Before getting into the book: The author and I are the same age, love food & cooking, and both currently live in the Pacific Northwest. We’re both multicultural/biracial yet white passing, growing up feeling like a “muddle” and figuring out our identities without fully fitting into either culture. Too white for our non-white half, yet also definitely feeling like we could not identify as “just white”. I’m interested in different ways that families and homes work, how we structure them, how this decision creates a miniaturized culture of our own. A synchronization occurs whether we live with a chosen family, nuclear, extended, in communities, or as solo organisms. I was still a little hesitant going into this book because there have been many times that a book flops even if it hits all the right genres and topics, but this was a great read!
Group Living is a book that is something tender yet bold. Moments of thoughtful insights, when I would pause and absorb and bookmark to reread later. Even if sometimes I didn’t necessarily agree with what was being said, it was still something unique and human and real that I could respect and nod along with nonetheless. Like having a conversation with a friend who has different opinions than you, but you’re still kindred spirits. Other moments were an unabashed letting loose. Wild laughter, big parties with strange costumes, parents who were polyamorous and smoked week with their (adult) children. My family and childhood were very different. Sensibly traditional, modest, quiet. But it was also similar. We were our own people, our own team. We often didn’t quite fit anywhere but together, my family was my place.
The author explores group living in various homes - from her own memories, her uncle’s stories, her parents’ - as well as the meaning of a Nuclear Family. And I loved reading about her parents - their openness and near brazenness would probably intimidate me a little in real life, as an introvert with a twang of TCK awkwardness, but they seem awesome. Her dad: “His easy laugh comes out like a shout: “HA!” When he dances, he strides in place, occasionally kicking out a leg and punching the air to the beat: “HA! HA! HA!”
Dipping into this book was enjoyable, listening to stories about things so foreign but also somehow familiar. I wanted to learn more about certain topics afterwards - always a good sign when you’re Googling while reading, in my opinion (if it’s out of curiosity, not lack of understanding/clarity). I wanted to know more about the characters, whether they were fellow humans or the seemingly-living Holman House. I liked those people, even the ones that would overwhelm me to be in their presence in real life, or who slightly grated my nerves, or who were a bit chaotic. I liked them all anyway in the same way you like your odd relative, or a very-different sibling, or that friend who annoys the hell out of you sometimes but they’re like family and you love them oh-so-much.
Lola Milholland tells her stories from childhood to the present day, with a little wink, a nod at knowing that she can laugh a little at “hippie” lifestyles. There are stories from her time growing up in the Holman House, with various people staying with them at random, sometimes for short stints and other times for weeks. There are stories from her time in Japan as a young adult. There are also stories from those lonely, intense, bizarre first days of Covid, which bled into weeks, months, and (what would have been incomprehensible if we’d known from the beginning) years. Balancing her witty, or sometimes outright funny stories, there were heartbreaking and enraging topics as well. George Floyd’s murder, and the collective grief and rage that ensued. Her uncle’s annual Father’s Day event, where he organizes a peaceful protest - complete with quirky, heartfelt art to illustrate his points - against the weapons manufacturing and transfer at the NavMag Indian Island near Port Townsend. Naval Magazine Indian Island, the only deep-water storage facility and way station for military weapons of its kind on the West Coast. I didn’t know it was such a huge manufacturer and base for transporting weapons. This whole section was so relevant with the present-day genocide in Gaza, and how we have been supplying the weapons for nearly a year now.
And there is, of course, so much writing on food, and the delicious recipes at the end of each chapter. As someone who loves food - eating it, cooking it, being in restaurants and kitchens and exploring ways that food connects people - I loved Lola’s enthusiasm for it.
“Sharing food has always been at the center of my life, a way of communicating beyond language: What do we carry with us from previous relationships to people and places? What tastes good to us? What makes us feel good? These recipes were given to me, and now I offer them to you. Please make them and share them. Bring my home into yours!”
I also hold onto recipes from my childhood, from meals at my Egyptian grandmother’s home, from dinners at my German grandmother’s home. Lola says of her mother, “Food remains a tether to her identity and her past,” and this resonates with me. The author is definitely much more knowledgeable than me on topics of cooking, growing food, sustainability, and food politics, which inspires me to step up my learning. Lola worked at a nonprofit, focusing on the economics of local farming. She also spent time trying to get more local food into school-lunch programs, and wrote for a food magazine.
There’s a wide range of offered recipes: Thai food, salads, cantaloupe seed horchata. Recipes that she’s created, as well as recipes shared by her family, friends, and housemates. The three recipes I’d like to try first are Chris’s Khao Tod (Crispy Broken-Rice Salad), Sakiko’s Hiyashi Chuka (Cold Sesame Noodles) with Jammy Eggs, Peas, and Pickled Radish, and David’s Seedy Granola (includes a little fruit jam!).
August 22, 2024
"Group Living and Other Recipes: A Memoir" by Lola Milholland is not fiction. It's a memoir and lengthy persuasive essay about group living.
I enjoyed hearing about her group living experiences, not so much about the other group living communities she talked about. I wish this book was only about the group living, not all the rest of the memoir parts such as the pine mushroom hunting. That and some other parts made the book far too long-winded.
I do like how she showed rather than told about how things worked in the Holman House in Portland, Oregon, and everywhere else she could. Telling about the other communities she didn't live in didn't work as well.
Each chapter ends with a recipe for a meal they enjoyed together. I was looking forward to this and was disappointed. Not one of the recipes would be anything I could eat. They are all very spicy, which I can't stand. They use a lot of garlic, onions, and shallots, and I'm allergic to aleels such as those. They use a lot of mushrooms, and I don't care for those. At least one recipe had miso soup in it, and I'm allergic to MSG. I realize these are personal issues, and other people will probably love a few of them. Overall, however, recipes do not come across very well in audio.
Thank you to Netgalley, Spiegel & Grau by Spotify Audiobooks, and Lola Milholland for providing this audiobook in exchange for my honest review.
I enjoyed hearing about her group living experiences, not so much about the other group living communities she talked about. I wish this book was only about the group living, not all the rest of the memoir parts such as the pine mushroom hunting. That and some other parts made the book far too long-winded.
I do like how she showed rather than told about how things worked in the Holman House in Portland, Oregon, and everywhere else she could. Telling about the other communities she didn't live in didn't work as well.
Each chapter ends with a recipe for a meal they enjoyed together. I was looking forward to this and was disappointed. Not one of the recipes would be anything I could eat. They are all very spicy, which I can't stand. They use a lot of garlic, onions, and shallots, and I'm allergic to aleels such as those. They use a lot of mushrooms, and I don't care for those. At least one recipe had miso soup in it, and I'm allergic to MSG. I realize these are personal issues, and other people will probably love a few of them. Overall, however, recipes do not come across very well in audio.
Thank you to Netgalley, Spiegel & Grau by Spotify Audiobooks, and Lola Milholland for providing this audiobook in exchange for my honest review.
January 10, 2025
I really wanted less memoir, more personal musings. Ended with a chapter or two to go but it got too rambly.
November 24, 2024
I grabbed this book impulsively after seeing it in a library new book display. After devouring it the past week I’m so thankful that it landed in my hands. An eclectic mix of personal memoir, family history, history of communal living and cookbook.
April 29, 2025
tender vignette of perceptive, thoughtful, and often wryly funny stories. i love how lola milholland Notices the people and food she loves. and how she finds words to talk about the strangeness of group living. this book is so bright and big that it ushered in a reckoning - coming to terms with the lonelier parts of my life, the circles that could be widened.
July 18, 2025
i have never been a people person. being around anyone in just about any context raises my misanthrope hackles basically immediately. i know i personally do not have the personality for group living despite having done it for most of my life. but this book still made me want to get on Craigslist’s shared housing tab and make something shake lowkey.
July 27, 2024
In our transactional world it is normal to work a 9–5, and then come home to cook, clean, take care of children and so forth. All day is spent working, but it’s okay because you’re living the dream: you have the partner, you have the kids, you have the house.
Lola Milholland tells us about treading a different path in “Group Living and Other Recipes”–one of community. A shared home means that you give what you can, and that others give what you can’t.
But community doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Our dynamic world requires that we adjust, and adjusting is especially complicated when your space isn’t yours alone. Millholland doesn’t turn a blind eye to this, nor the fact that some long for their own place. At the root of it, this memoir is a critique of the world we have created.
Getting to look through this window into shared living was reassuring. I’ve never felt that The Ideal Life was achievable or probable, so seeing people getting by in this non-traditional way left me hopeful. At the same time it’s an unpleasant reminder that going a different route means not knowing what the future holds, which is terrifying, but you also realize that you’re not alone there either. Maybe the unknown can be scary and okay at the same time.
Thank you to Spiegel & Grau, Spotify Audiobooks and NetGalley for the ARC!
Lola Milholland tells us about treading a different path in “Group Living and Other Recipes”–one of community. A shared home means that you give what you can, and that others give what you can’t.
But community doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Our dynamic world requires that we adjust, and adjusting is especially complicated when your space isn’t yours alone. Millholland doesn’t turn a blind eye to this, nor the fact that some long for their own place. At the root of it, this memoir is a critique of the world we have created.
Getting to look through this window into shared living was reassuring. I’ve never felt that The Ideal Life was achievable or probable, so seeing people getting by in this non-traditional way left me hopeful. At the same time it’s an unpleasant reminder that going a different route means not knowing what the future holds, which is terrifying, but you also realize that you’re not alone there either. Maybe the unknown can be scary and okay at the same time.
Thank you to Spiegel & Grau, Spotify Audiobooks and NetGalley for the ARC!
August 29, 2024
I read this book totally randomly after seeing it on NetGalley and I am so glad I did. I didn't realize that it takes place in Portland, which was fun to read about -- I was initially drawn to the group living and food parts of the book.
I loved this book! I loved hearing Lola Milholland's personal experiences with group living, as well as some of the larger ideas about group living. The parts during the pandemic felt especially meaningful, thinking of how much it impacted their household. I remember when I was in my 20s how much I wanted to live in a co-op or some kind of group living situation -- and that made me really love reading this book.
I loved the recipes throughout the book too and look forward to trying some -- as well as tracking down Lola's noodles the next time I am in Portland -- they sound amazing!
I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys food, the idea of group living, or reading about Portland. Thoroughly delightful!
Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book!
I loved this book! I loved hearing Lola Milholland's personal experiences with group living, as well as some of the larger ideas about group living. The parts during the pandemic felt especially meaningful, thinking of how much it impacted their household. I remember when I was in my 20s how much I wanted to live in a co-op or some kind of group living situation -- and that made me really love reading this book.
I loved the recipes throughout the book too and look forward to trying some -- as well as tracking down Lola's noodles the next time I am in Portland -- they sound amazing!
I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys food, the idea of group living, or reading about Portland. Thoroughly delightful!
Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book!
November 3, 2024
I would probably give this book more of a 2 stars, but I liked what the writer was trying to say, and liked the recipes as well (though they are all kinda too complicated and spicy for me to make, but look delicious!). I just didn't enjoy this book but I don't think it was poorly written; I just think I wasn't the right audience for it. For instance, I would never ever live on a commune, more like the opposite. Like, I've never shared a room with a non-significant other before.. I paid extra for a single dorm room in college! But I do see the value in community and all that. I also just didn't find the stories of the various people she knew and lived with all that interesting. They were all quirky in their own ways so I guess it would appeal to some people, but it was a very boring read. Even though I'm a moderately crunchy/granola person, they were all too woo-woo for me.
May 5, 2024
This was not my book, the writers style was quirky and off the cuff, occasionally her opinions were snarky . I think I was expecting a warmer, more inclusive perspective on group living. I put the book down a few times, but for the right reader this is an interesting read.
Thank you to Netgalley for the chance to read this book and give an honest reveiw.
Thank you to Netgalley for the chance to read this book and give an honest reveiw.
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August 7, 2024Happy Publication Day!
This was a very nice memoir about Lola Milholland, a girl who grew up in a sort of unconventional way and has applied this type of living to her adult life. This was an audiobook ARC that I received - thanks NetGalley and Spotify Audiobooks! This memoir is narrated by the author herself (which I love when it comes to memoirs!).
Lola immerses herself in group living. In other cultures, living with your family past a certain age is common. In America, we put a lot of emphasis on turning 18 and leaving the nest. Lola approaches home ownership in a different fashion, turning to communal living arrangements and living with her brother. Her memoir follows her throughout her different living arrangements in her family home. Her parents are hippies, to put it simply, and crafted an openminded way of living in her young. This memoir is about how to coexist with others, how to do chores together, and how to talk through tension, but it relies heavily on food. Group Living and Other Recipes weaves in different recipes crafted by different people in Lola’s life. The recipes all sounded so yummy! I loved this touch on the memoir and think it made it stand out. Lola actually owns a noodle company to this day. You hear about the makings of her company in this memoir.
I highly recommend this memoir if you’re interested in learning more about co-ops, communal living, giving back to your community, and how to reject capitalism while living in a country that is based on it. It affirmed a lot of feelings I have about capitalism and the housing market in general. Lola goes through ups and downs and doesn’t commit fully to one way of life. I enjoyed her stories.
This was a very nice memoir about Lola Milholland, a girl who grew up in a sort of unconventional way and has applied this type of living to her adult life. This was an audiobook ARC that I received - thanks NetGalley and Spotify Audiobooks! This memoir is narrated by the author herself (which I love when it comes to memoirs!).
Lola immerses herself in group living. In other cultures, living with your family past a certain age is common. In America, we put a lot of emphasis on turning 18 and leaving the nest. Lola approaches home ownership in a different fashion, turning to communal living arrangements and living with her brother. Her memoir follows her throughout her different living arrangements in her family home. Her parents are hippies, to put it simply, and crafted an openminded way of living in her young. This memoir is about how to coexist with others, how to do chores together, and how to talk through tension, but it relies heavily on food. Group Living and Other Recipes weaves in different recipes crafted by different people in Lola’s life. The recipes all sounded so yummy! I loved this touch on the memoir and think it made it stand out. Lola actually owns a noodle company to this day. You hear about the makings of her company in this memoir.
I highly recommend this memoir if you’re interested in learning more about co-ops, communal living, giving back to your community, and how to reject capitalism while living in a country that is based on it. It affirmed a lot of feelings I have about capitalism and the housing market in general. Lola goes through ups and downs and doesn’t commit fully to one way of life. I enjoyed her stories.
August 28, 2024
What a wonderful book, especially for someone coming from a culture in which community and intergenerational living is our way of life. It can be challenging, infuriating, frustrating but also immensely rewarding, loving, offering support, comfort and security, especially when there are children in the house.
The author gives an interesting perspective on modern communal living and how it can impact not only the people living within this arrangement but also the wider environment and economy. Worth a read for the approachable writing and shared recipes.
The author gives an interesting perspective on modern communal living and how it can impact not only the people living within this arrangement but also the wider environment and economy. Worth a read for the approachable writing and shared recipes.
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February 23, 2025 I learned of this book from a pamphlet of Oregon authors, and, as someone from the state, I reveled in its specificity. Milholland writes in loving detail about her home, her city, family and food. The book more outwardly focused than many memoirs; It was nice to spend time in Milholland’s POV.
July 25, 2024
This was such a wonderful and easy listen. I felt like I was huddled around a speaker for storytime, just happy to have them sharing their life through literature. The line about being a voyeur in other realities stuck with me. It is also why I read, watch movies, and personally people-watch. I like to see how others engage with humanity & am so often encouraged with sparks of creativity or kindness or hunger to be involved with the world more deeply. Or, I’m directed inward to pay attention to unhealed wounds that need tending to or previous versions of self that don’t serve where I’m at now.
I have so much appreciation for the way all people’s beliefs were written about with acceptance and respect. Lola’s memoir is a reminder that we can all coexist, share a meal, and see past any shallow perception of others.
Thank you to the author and NetGalley for allowing me to read this advanced copy, it was eye opening and also made my tummy rumble and mouth salivate at the thought of so much delicious food.
After listening on audiobook version, I want to buy a physical copy to keep in our kitchen with the cookbooks, so my partner and I can make as many of the yummy recipes as we can both eat.
I have so much appreciation for the way all people’s beliefs were written about with acceptance and respect. Lola’s memoir is a reminder that we can all coexist, share a meal, and see past any shallow perception of others.
Thank you to the author and NetGalley for allowing me to read this advanced copy, it was eye opening and also made my tummy rumble and mouth salivate at the thought of so much delicious food.
After listening on audiobook version, I want to buy a physical copy to keep in our kitchen with the cookbooks, so my partner and I can make as many of the yummy recipes as we can both eat.
May 20, 2025
honestly so much more than i expected. an incredible discussion on living with other people and what that means now in the US, around the world, and through history. her creation of community and her exploration in what community means to her and what type of community she wants was amazing
July 15, 2024
Group Living and Other Recipes is a curious blend of memoir and cookbook. Milholland goes through her experiences of sharing a living space from college years until now. The book continuously explores the “group living” and “commune” models and all their trials and benefits. I found some interesting insights about the power imbalances that rise in even the flat group living arrangements!
Each chapter ends with a recipe related to the chapter’s story. In the audiobook format, the recipes interrupted the flow of the book, and I ended up skipping a lot of them. It could work better as a supplemental pdf (there’s no way i’m re-listening to the recipe portion each time to make the dish).
The reason this is not a 5 star book, is that towards the end, the book moves away from communal living to a discussion on nuclear weapons which felt like a very far departure. As a Ukrainian, I did not appreciate the author using the war in my country to justify the relevance of the nuclear weapons conversation when there’s no evidence that she knows anything about my war. I have so many questions (about group living) left unanswered that could replace those weapons justice chapters. Like how do race and multiculturalism (multi-religions too) impact the living situation, what happens when one member experiences personal trauma (like death of a loved one or war in their home country), etc.
Each chapter ends with a recipe related to the chapter’s story. In the audiobook format, the recipes interrupted the flow of the book, and I ended up skipping a lot of them. It could work better as a supplemental pdf (there’s no way i’m re-listening to the recipe portion each time to make the dish).
The reason this is not a 5 star book, is that towards the end, the book moves away from communal living to a discussion on nuclear weapons which felt like a very far departure. As a Ukrainian, I did not appreciate the author using the war in my country to justify the relevance of the nuclear weapons conversation when there’s no evidence that she knows anything about my war. I have so many questions (about group living) left unanswered that could replace those weapons justice chapters. Like how do race and multiculturalism (multi-religions too) impact the living situation, what happens when one member experiences personal trauma (like death of a loved one or war in their home country), etc.
February 6, 2025
Such a cute, loving, gentle read
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