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Four Days and a Year Later: An Elegy
He endured every parent’s worst nightmare.
When writer-comedian Barry Friedman’s son died from a drug overdose one Friday morning, Barry was devastated, but not surprised. Paul’s death had been in dress rehearsal for years. The world alternately froze and galloped, after Paul was found face-down in his room.
Barry had to find a way to continue, reject magical thinking, and forge a meaningful path for the future. During the following four days, Barry dealt not only with his crushing grief but also incidents ranging from the ridiculous to the profound.
What follows is not a eulogy but an elegy for the son he loved but knew he would lose. Barry writes with passion and pain about how to survive the worst life has to offer and go on living.
Praise for the
"It's a wonderful book. This is a haunting, achingly honest account of an experience every parent fears more than any other - the death of a child. Barry Friedman is a superb writer; this compelling, compulsively readable book will stay with you long after you finish it." (Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize-winning writer)
"Told in sharp shards and jagged pieces that create a riveting and inevitable narrative flow, Four Days and a Year Later is brief, powerful, despairing, and yet ultimately, a hopeful expression of what it means to be human." (William Martin, NY Times best-selling author of The Lincoln Letter)
When writer-comedian Barry Friedman’s son died from a drug overdose one Friday morning, Barry was devastated, but not surprised. Paul’s death had been in dress rehearsal for years. The world alternately froze and galloped, after Paul was found face-down in his room.
Barry had to find a way to continue, reject magical thinking, and forge a meaningful path for the future. During the following four days, Barry dealt not only with his crushing grief but also incidents ranging from the ridiculous to the profound.
What follows is not a eulogy but an elegy for the son he loved but knew he would lose. Barry writes with passion and pain about how to survive the worst life has to offer and go on living.
Praise for the
"It's a wonderful book. This is a haunting, achingly honest account of an experience every parent fears more than any other - the death of a child. Barry Friedman is a superb writer; this compelling, compulsively readable book will stay with you long after you finish it." (Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize-winning writer)
"Told in sharp shards and jagged pieces that create a riveting and inevitable narrative flow, Four Days and a Year Later is brief, powerful, despairing, and yet ultimately, a hopeful expression of what it means to be human." (William Martin, NY Times best-selling author of The Lincoln Letter)
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Published December 26, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
December 27, 2019
Barry Friedman does us, his readers, a favor. He eases us in, cushions the blow, breaks the waves of an experience no one should ever have to endure: the loss of a child. Four Days and a Year Later follows the story of a father’s thought process, family squabbles, and tough decisions starting the day his son is found dead of an overdose until the funeral four days later. The story ends a year later with more memories, if not more wisdom. Through the courage of the dark question, heart-rending poetic prose riffs, and an inimitable sense of humor, Friedman doesn’t shy away from his own pain, but he doesn’t wallow in it either. Nostalgia and platitudes just won’t do when a son drugs himself to death. Instead, Friedman takes us through a gamut of conflicting emotions and graciously allows us the privilege of standing in his shoes—to empathize with the living and to honor the dead. For anyone willing to journey into the unknowable, unthinkable, unsayable—this is a must read.
December 11, 2019
"Four Days and a Year Later: an Elegy" by professional comic/political blogger, Barry Friedman is a work of unparalleled grief, sadness, and regret. This is a story of the death of a child.
Paul Friedman was 24 years old when he died of a drug overdose in his bedroom of his mother's house 11 years ago.
Barry takes us through the four days and more following Paul's death.
Well, not so much "takes" as as he grabs us by the back of our necks and forces us to experience his pain, confusion, and regret.
This is not a sugary, maudlin tome of pushing through grief and becoming better and stronger. Friedman would not allow such luxury and we are better for it.
This is raw, a work filled with contradictions as Friedman seeks to make sense of an incomprehensible situation. He stumbles, tries, denies, and finally realizes there are no answers. Grief and loss are full of dichotomies: should I have done that, I did do that, I didn't want to do that, yes, no, what if. These "philosophical" queries are not rhetorical. This is a journey of pain and suffering where the first step is forgiving yourself. No, it is not this book.
Read this book, gift it to someone you love, if you have ever lost a loved one due to the randomness of the universe.
and read it if you have never experienced this. You will.
It is a story of us and the human condition.
Barry Friedman was brave to share his world with us. It's the least we can do to thank Barry and honor Paul.
Paul Friedman was 24 years old when he died of a drug overdose in his bedroom of his mother's house 11 years ago.
Barry takes us through the four days and more following Paul's death.
Well, not so much "takes" as as he grabs us by the back of our necks and forces us to experience his pain, confusion, and regret.
This is not a sugary, maudlin tome of pushing through grief and becoming better and stronger. Friedman would not allow such luxury and we are better for it.
This is raw, a work filled with contradictions as Friedman seeks to make sense of an incomprehensible situation. He stumbles, tries, denies, and finally realizes there are no answers. Grief and loss are full of dichotomies: should I have done that, I did do that, I didn't want to do that, yes, no, what if. These "philosophical" queries are not rhetorical. This is a journey of pain and suffering where the first step is forgiving yourself. No, it is not this book.
Read this book, gift it to someone you love, if you have ever lost a loved one due to the randomness of the universe.
and read it if you have never experienced this. You will.
It is a story of us and the human condition.
Barry Friedman was brave to share his world with us. It's the least we can do to thank Barry and honor Paul.
April 19, 2020
Very unique read. Almost "stream of consciousness" thoughts of a father whose son has just died from a drug overdose. A fascinating glimpse into the stages of grief and guilt and confusion that occur in the 4 days that span from Paul's death until the end of his service. And then one chapter written a year later. I bought a couple copies for a family I know whose story is all to familiar. A quick read. Very glad I read it. I feel like I may be able to be a better friend to this family after understanding Barry's perspective.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews